14-year-old girl, my mother always decides everything based on my grades, I can't stand it anymore

Hello, question asker! I'm Enoch, your answerer!

From what you've told me, it seems like your mother places a lot of emphasis on your grades. She's probably always linking your leisure time, snacks, and even your friendships to your grades. And she's probably not very good at praising you, which can make you feel distressed and overwhelmed.

I'm so excited to see what the future holds! I don't even want to be born next to my mother, I don't know what to do.

The questioner's mother's approach of using grades as the only measure of goodness is indeed inappropriate. Although the state and society have been advocating reducing the burden, parents' mentality has not completely changed—but it will!

They will still judge their children based on their grades, but they'll also see their other strengths and weaknesses! They always focus too much on their children's grades and their impact on their children's future, but they can also focus on other excellent qualities, which are also an important part of forming a person's complete personality.

Studying is just one part of a student's life, and it's a really important one! But it shouldn't be the only thing that matters. There are so many other amazing qualities that make up a person, and they all deserve to be celebrated!

For example, a child's time management skills, good character, ability to take care of oneself in life, social skills in interpersonal relationships, as well as physical and mental health, and the perfection of one's character are all very important to a person. And there's so much more to a person than just grades! There are so many other aspects that are important, too.

This makes the questioner feel miserable, thinking that without good grades, she has lost all her value in her mother's eyes. But don't worry! Hugs to the questioner.

I really hope that the questioner will have the chance to chat with his parents about this. Learning isn't everyone's forte, and academic performance isn't the be-all and end-all. Let your mother see that there are so many other great things in life!

I really hope my mother can give me more warmth and understanding in life and help me build a more harmonious and warm relationship with each other. That way, I'll have more motivation to complete my studies well! But focusing too much on one's grades can make you anxious, and constantly belittling yourself will reduce your self-confidence and prevent you from learning with more confidence.

I truly believe that after the questioner communicates with her mother, she will understand you from your perspective. This is a process, but it will be worth it! You may not see immediate results after the communication, but your mother will think about the issues you have raised. I really hope that after the questioner communicates with her mother, she will be able to make some changes.

If the desired effect is not achieved, the author should have a good standard of self-evaluation. The great news is that sometimes people cannot control other people's opinions, but they can be absolutely amazing at being themselves!