17 years old, serious procrastination: everything is put off until the last minute, poor sense of time

Hello! I'm a mom of a 17-year-old boy, and I think I can help you with your questions.

I can tell from your writing that you're feeling anxious.

Anxiety 1: You're feeling anxious about your procrastination, putting things off until the last minute, and then just getting by. It's totally normal to feel this way! As a result, your grades have dropped a lot, which is something we can work on together.

Anxiety 2: You really want to get rid of this procrastination habit, regain your self-discipline, and improve your academic performance. After all, you are facing the college entrance exam, which is a huge deal!

I'm not sure if these are the issues you're hoping to resolve.

Let's chat!

You did really well in junior high school! The curriculum in your third year was actually pretty challenging, but you made it! Getting into a key high school shows that you are actually quite self-disciplined. This also shows that you have expectations of yourself, and that you are not genetically predisposed to poor self-control.

* Have you ever thought about when you first started putting things off and what might have caused it?

* Was it because the high school curriculum was too difficult to learn on your own? Or were you too distracted and exhausted by the many extracurricular activities? We've all been there!

It's so important to find the cause so we can give you the right remedy.

High school courses are mostly self-directed, which can be a bit overwhelming at first! The way teachers teach is different from junior high school, so it's important to study on your own or ask teachers for help when you need it. If you get distracted in class and don't understand a certain chapter, it can be tough to understand the next few chapters as well because the lessons are very coherent.

If you're having trouble finishing your homework because you didn't understand the lesson, don't worry! Just go to your teacher as soon as you can to fill in the gaps. It's totally fine to ask questions — in fact, teachers love it when their students take the initiative to ask questions!

Teachers really care about their students. Any teacher wants their students to do well on their exams, so just go to them without any worries.

As you enter high school, you'll find there are lots of clubs to join, and these activities will affect you in many different ways. I bet you joined lots of clubs in your freshman year, didn't you? Well, you're probably a sophomore now, so I'm guessing you've joined even more!

Hey there! I just wanted to check in and see how many clubs you're currently involved in. Are they very active?

Think carefully about whether club activities affect your mood for studying. It's so important to find a good balance!

If you do, then it might be a good idea to quit a few clubs and keep one of your favorites.

Here's another helpful tip to help you concentrate: Set a time limit of no more than 20 minutes for each session of homework. Time yourself, and make sure you stay focused on your homework or reading for the whole 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, take a 15-minute break, and then set a new 20-minute time limit. Start with short periods of time, and gradually increase the duration. This may help you!

Time is kind to everyone, as long as you treat it with care.

Dear poster, I can tell you're anxious about studying with self-discipline.

Comfort yourself! High school is stressful. There's pressure from school and teachers.

It's easy to make people anxious.

The goal of self-control is to get things done.

Self-discipline is not instant.

People who procrastinate want to think before acting. But they can't think clearly, and thinking makes it worse.

"Understanding doesn't always lead to behavior change."

##A tactical approach to procrastination

Just do it! Get involved.

First, focus on the task at hand.

When you get home after dinner and don't feel like doing your homework, sit at your desk with your homework on the table for half an hour.

Don't play with your phone. Install apps that help you focus, like Meditation Planet, and set them to not move for half an hour.

Just sit with your homework and get into the habit of doing it.

After sitting for a while, you might feel like doing your homework.

This is how to act before you understand!

You can also study with a classmate. Set a timer on your phone and punch in to see how long you've been studying. If you've studied less, you can invite a classmate out for a drink.

This is mutual assistance learning!

I hope the original poster succeeds in his studies and is worry-free!

I want to confirm a question of sequence or cause and effect with the original poster.

The pressure of studying is immense in high school. They struggle to understand the material and are unable to complete their homework. They either resort to copying homework or simply get by, which leads to a gradual worsening of procrastination. They also procrastinate on other tasks.

The situation is becoming increasingly serious, and there is no time to write the homework. They must either copy it or do it half-heartedly. They are unable to understand the content of the class, unable to learn the knowledge, and their grades have dropped. This puts them under even more pressure.

I will address the current emotional issues from three perspectives.

Sense of ability. The questioner did well in junior high school and was admitted to a key high school, which proves that the questioner is a capable learner.

However, after entering high school, the previous learning methods and ways of thinking are no longer applicable to the characteristics of high school courses. The questioner has not been able to adapt immediately and has not yet found a better and more effective way of learning. Therefore, the lack of a sense of competence in learning has generated a fear of difficulties. Because they don't know how to do their homework, they are afraid of being criticized, so they just do the bare minimum. Naturally, their test scores are not ideal, and at least they are not at the top of the class like they were in junior high school. This has only deepened their doubts about their abilities.

Sense of autonomy: With good grades and attending a key high school, the questioner must be the "good child" in their parents' eyes, and they have higher expectations for them.

However, they may not have noticed the problems the questioner is having with their studies, or if they do, they may not be able to help. This puts even more pressure on the questioner, who feels that their parents don't care if they are happy or not, only focusing on their grades. They may deliberately go against them or they don't want to let them down.

Procrastination is often seen as an acceptable reason by parents: "I can't be blamed for not finishing my homework or doing badly in the exam because I'm sick!"

Sense of belonging. It takes time to adjust to a new environment, especially when it's a significant change like leaving the familiar junior high school class and friends for a completely new group environment with different hardware and software conditions.

The questioner may be a slow starter who has not yet made any new friends in class or adapted to the new teacher's methods. This makes it harder for them to learn than other students who are more adaptable. In addition to coping with a heavier academic workload, the questioner has to consider interpersonal relationships, teacher-student relationships, and other issues. This takes more time and energy, which inevitably affects learning.

These three aspects are interrelated and influence each other. A deficiency or lack in one area will affect the abilities in the other two areas, which in turn will affect the emotions, mood, and academic performance of the whole person.

If possible, the questioner should find out what the problem is. If it is a lack of learning ability, the questioner should take the initiative to ask teachers and classmates for good learning methods. When you understand and learn, your self-confidence will naturally be built up, and you will have the motivation to learn. Procrastination will naturally heal itself!

If you don't agree with your parents' way of teaching and don't think it helps, then tell them. Give them direct feedback and tell them what you want them to do. Pay more attention to your own feelings. You need to be productive, and you can't do that when you're feeling down. They understand.

Let's be there for the questioner from afar.

Let's dive into the questioner's description together!

At 17, I had a pretty serious procrastination problem. I didn't have a very good sense of time. I also had a hard time controlling myself. I felt like I needed someone to keep me on track.

The questioner has some doubts.

I could really use some advice on how to deal with procrastination.

Just a quick note for the questioner:

Procrastination is actually a false proposition. We all have procrastination, but for some people, does procrastination cause inner anxiety? It's okay if it does! We all have different ways of coping with things.

It's totally okay to lie down and relax because your body is just telling you that you need to rest. That's all there is to it. It wouldn't have become a knot in your heart if you didn't feel that way. Procrastination is actually a very normal physical response.

But if you feel that procrastination is bad, then this idea is what causes you anxiety. Don't worry, though! We can rest, and we can not want to complete a task when it comes, and this is all fine.

It's not about adjusting procrastination, but understanding why we don't want to do these things. This is the real issue we need to think about.

I'm wondering if your inner desire to learn and grow is truly your own, or if you're being forced to grow by circumstances.

If it's not something you want to do, it can be really tough to take the initiative to do what you want to do. We all know how easy it is to procrastinate!

Try changing your core perception. Forget the word "procrastination." What will be left? I really hope my reply will help the questioner understand.