21-year-old female, always feels like being raped, what should I do to get out of it?

Thanks for inviting me.

You mentioned you had a boyfriend for the first time, but due to family circumstances, you don't have a lot of trust in men. You have a general understanding of sex, but you didn't like a boy until you were 21.

But he's impatient. You've made it clear you're nervous and afraid, but he doesn't seem to care. He doesn't respect your thoughts or feelings either. You're scared, but you don't know how to refuse.

His rudeness makes you feel awful. The pain in your body combined with your inability to resist may make you feel powerless and weak, attacked and judged, unable to protect yourself, unable to express your anger towards him, etc. It's tough to deal with such complex emotions that are all pent up inside.

You say you like him, but he causes you a lot of pain. Maybe you had a similar experience in your original family, where the person you loved caused you a lot of pain. Men aren't to be trusted; they'll cause you harm. So you attract similar people who give you the same familiar feeling.

But figuring out how to break this pattern is something you'll have to learn and grow on your own.

It's understandable that you're frustrated with him for not respecting your thoughts and feelings and not taking care of you. But it's also important to recognize that your reluctance to speak up might be driven by a fear of losing the relationship and losing contact with him. After all, you do have feelings for him.

It's important to understand yourself better and not be too hard on yourself. When your inner strength isn't yet strong enough, you might find it difficult to say no to unreasonable demands from others, and you may hesitate to refuse firmly. This is understandable. Give yourself a bit of a break and be more tolerant with yourself.

Take care of yourself, trust your instincts, and take things one step at a time. When you're ready, you can confidently say no to unreasonable demands from others. No matter how much you like someone, you should never feel pressured. You should only do it when you're ready and feel good about it.

You've already broken up with him, which is a great start. Keep up the good work!

Hello, host! I'm smiling.

After reading your description, I understand your question better. I'm here to support you.

From your description, it's clear you love your ex-boyfriend. You had sex with him because you felt uncomfortable but didn't explicitly refuse because you loved him and were afraid he wouldn't like you if you did. It's also possible this was your first relationship and you didn't have much experience. If so, I'll give you a warm hug.

From your description, it's clear that your ex-boyfriend is the one who is wrong here. He took advantage of your liking for him to do what he wanted to do, without caring at all about your feelings and thoughts. This is a prime example of how most men are animals with their lower bodies, only thinking about their own pleasure, and rarely considering the thoughts and feelings of the other party.

This also includes your ex-boyfriend, who did not respect you and caused you pain and suffering because of this relationship. Let me be clear: he was irresponsible.

I have also summarized some methods to help you alleviate the current situation, and I am confident they will help you to some extent.

(1) You did not cause this situation. Your ex-boyfriend is at fault. He took advantage of your love and kindness.

(2) Things have already happened. Accept what is happening now. This is the only way to keep your studies and life on track.

(3) Distract yourself. Do something you're interested in to relieve your current emotions and stress.

(4) If you can, go to a counselor. They can help you solve your problems in a professional way.

(5) You can relieve your stress through exercise, music, etc. when you feel too stressed.

The world and I love you!

I wish you the best.

Hello, young lady! I can see the confusion you are facing, but I'm here to help. Hugs!

You're going through a rough patch in your relationship. But don't worry, I'm here to give you a warm hug!

It really sucks that you were raped by your boyfriend the first time you went out with him. But you're going to be just fine!

I'd love to give you another big hug from across the screen!

You may have grown up in a single-parent family, which means you have the opportunity to learn more about sex!

I'm here to tell you that it wasn't your fault!

But being raped by your boyfriend will cause you some degree of psychological harm.

So, girl, what should you do now?

I would highly, highly recommend that you seek help from a professional counselor. Let her help you work through the bad experience of being raped by your boyfriend in the past.

You can do this! By taking this step, you'll be able to rebuild your trust in men and be ready to have a normal relationship with them.

Otherwise, you may be afraid to interact with men for the rest of your life. But don't be!

Dealing with the bad past experience of rape is the only way to treat both the symptoms and the root cause—and it's the best way!

I really, truly hope that you can resolve this problem soon!

Now I can think of only these things, and I'm excited to share them with you!

I really hope my answers are helpful and inspiring to you, the girl! I am the answer, and I study hard every day!

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Best wishes!