22-year-old female, the position I'm sitting in is making me uncomfortable, how should I handle the conflict?

Hello, my dear friend! I am the place of peace of mind.

It's totally understandable to feel uncomfortable in your seat in the classroom and want to change it. It just seems like there isn't a suitable place to do that, though.

I can see how the current seat might be a bit of a challenge for you. With the class committee turning around so often, there's always eye contact, which can make it tough to focus on your studies.

You also tried to ask the other person if they wanted to switch seats, but it seemed like their attitude was unclear and ambiguous. I'm sure she didn't mean to be unsympathetic, but it made you feel that way, right?

I can feel your anger, sweetie. I wonder if you told her that her behavior had caused you a lot of trouble and affected your studies when you asked her if she wanted to change seats.

I'm sure you'll be able to discuss a reasonable and suitable solution with her.

It seems like you're worried about a few things in the classroom. You're concerned about an empty seat, wondering if others will want it. You're also feeling a bit uneasy about the seats behind you, where there are boys. And then there's the row behind that, where your roommates are. It's totally understandable to feel a bit nervous around them!

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling to find a seat in the classroom that makes you feel comfortable. It's so hard when we can't find a place that suits us, isn't it?

I'd love to help you understand where these thoughts and feelings are coming from.

Has anything like this happened before, sweetie?

There was a boy behind me, and I felt a little uncomfortable. I'd love to know what kind of feelings you had when you were sat behind a boy.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. I'd love to know more about what's on your mind.

I'm wondering if you ever felt afraid of your roommates. If you could tell me more about what happened between you and them, I'd really appreciate it. And if you wouldn't mind sharing, I'd love to know more about your interaction pattern with them.

I'd love to know what their attitude towards you was like!

I'd love to know how you got along with your classmates! From your description, it seems like you might have had a bit of trouble expressing your inner thoughts and needs, and maybe you were a bit afraid of being rejected. It's totally normal to have difficulty trusting people sometimes, too!

And did these things make it hard for you to connect with others?

Maybe we can think back and see if we had similar experiences growing up. Did you ever feel like you couldn't express yourself?

It's so sad when kids are not allowed to make requests. Even if they do, they might still be rejected.

I'm really interested to know if you felt understood, accepted, allowed, and loved as a child. And did you feel secure enough, valued, and present?

If you didn't feel safe and worthy as a child, it's okay! You were young and couldn't do anything about it. You could only accept things passively.

Now that you've grown up, it's time to find the courage to express your true feelings and emotions and voice your needs.

I know it can be tough, but is there strength in breaking free from the thoughts that trouble you, bind you, and imprison you?

Maybe you could try to figure out what part of your emotional needs is missing. Would it help if I tried to make up for it and become a complete person, too?

You're not perfect, and that's okay! Nobody is. But you can be a "complete" person, and that'll make you happy in this life.

I really hope things work out for you!

Dear Questioner, I understand that your question is prompted by the current situation, which is causing you significant discomfort. It is evident that you are seeking an adjustment to your position, however, it appears that other positions also present challenges and cause you concern. This has led to a state of confusion.

I appreciate your perspective and understand your concerns. The more you think about it, the more complex it seems.

Based on the content of your previous message, I will provide some advice.

1. Arrange a meeting with your class representative to discuss the possibility of changing seats.

Although you have spoken with her and she has verbally agreed, there has been no subsequent action, and you believe she may not be interested in pursuing this course of action. I suggest you communicate directly with her to ascertain her intentions.

If she is unambiguous in her refusal to switch, we will consider other positions.

2. In the event that the class committee does not switch to the main position, you will be the empty seat.

It is simply clothing, and there is no one occupying the space. You have a reasonable request to sit in that spot, and it is not inconsiderate. You can relocate the clothing to another area.

If you wish to sit, you are under no obligation to do so. There is no issue with your desire to sit. Therefore, there is no need for concern.

3. If you wish to improve your learning outcomes, it would be beneficial for you to sit in the front.

On occasion, I find myself less than enthusiastic about being at the front. In fact, being at the front can encourage you to pay more attention to your studies. You may wish to consider this.

The above constitutes advice for your consideration.

You should focus on your own needs and avoid unnecessary concern. If you have further questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to leave a message.

I extend my warmest regards to you and the world.

Dear questioner, I hope this message finds you well.

After reading your description carefully, I empathize with your situation and understand your feelings of distress. It seems that you feel uncomfortable in your current position due to eye contact with the class representative, which prompted you to consider changing seats. Additionally, you mentioned the class representative, the boy, and your roommate, which suggests that you're facing a complex situation. It's understandable that you're experiencing fear and apprehension about rejection or unfriendly behavior from the other party, which makes it challenging for you to change seats.

It is possible that you may experience a few challenges during this time, such as headaches, discomfort, fear, fatigue, or self-doubt. It seems that you may be hoping to make yourself feel less uncomfortable by changing your mind.

It might be helpful to consider adjusting your thinking, but it's important to be mindful of how you believe it after the adjustment and how you might override previous ideas. Additionally, your initial intuitive reaction and ideas are often influenced by previous experiences and habitual cognitive frameworks. For instance, your description of the conversation with the class representative is quite typical. It's possible that you accurately perceived the other person's reluctance, leading you to choose "it's okay" (compromise) and perceive the other person as "very bad." This reaction and preconceived evaluation are worth exploring further. It's also possible that you're afraid the other person will think you're "very bad."

If I might respectfully return to your question, how might one best navigate a conflict?

Perhaps it would be helpful to approach this as "How might I change to my ideal position?" and then try the following method:

Could I perhaps suggest that we try to phrase the request in a way that increases the likelihood of success?

I believe this is in reference to the dialogue you described, in which the class representative gave two responses after you made your request: a verbal "yes" and an unwillingness to act (inaction). I think the next part of your response is very important—when you receive two contradictory responses, choose the one that is in your favor. Did you notice that you chose to respond to the "unwillingness"? So you said yes to both, but you could have chosen to respond to the "yes"—for example, you could have stood up and packed your things (in preparation for changing places)/or "Thank you, let's switch now."

It might be helpful to give a reason (I'm not sure if this is true, but it seems like it could increase the success rate).

"I wonder if I might be able to switch places with you? I'm not sure if it's just me, but I'm finding it a little uncomfortable sitting here while you keep looking back. I hope you don't mind me asking, but would you be willing to switch places with me? Thanks." (Polite, but firm)

Perhaps consider making a larger request first, and then a smaller one. Refusing someone else can sometimes generate a sense of guilt, so it might be helpful to try this approach. She has already "refused" you once, so it might be worth exploring whether there's another way forward.

Additionally, the class committee typically incorporates a layer of Buff, provided there is a valid rationale. However, this may vary from one individual to another.

I hope you will find these suggestions practical and relatively simple and direct methods.

If I may, I would like to share the contents of the egg.

[It seems like I'm not answering your question for the first time.] You seem to be sensitive to evaluations, especially those you perceive as negative. This may lead you to pay particular attention to the other person's actions. It's possible that the other person's "unfriendly" behavior (including rejection) is an important basis for your evaluation system. This could result in negative evaluations of the other person, as well as a fear that the other person may have negative evaluations (behavior) towards you. This may potentially damage your self-esteem, leading you to think, "I'm terrible," and experience a range of fears.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider becoming a person of high self-esteem and value, and truly believing that you are such a person (although it may take time, I think this could be beneficial, and it may even be the root of the problem). You could try to do this now – be brave and pursue your goals, and it would be a good place to start.

I hope you will find these practices helpful:

1. If you are experiencing fear, worry, or pain (such as a headache), it may be helpful to address these feelings directly.

If I may suggest, at this moment, allow yourself to breathe deeply, calm down, and watch the pain in your body (replace it with your own). Describe the pain (what color/what shape/how many/how big). Let it slowly separate from your body with your breath. Then you watch it become lighter and more transparent, and then disappear. This exercise can be done often and is very useful.

2. Consider adjusting the default settings.

I'm not sure what specific experiences from the past have led you to feel so much fear and worry that you start to fear something before you even start doing it. You might want to consider being more courageous and changing these assumptions, or at least making them a little gentler: "Maybe she'll be willing," "Maybe they're friendly," "Maybe they don't care that much."

If you're reading this, it's likely that your first reaction is "no way," which suggests that you may benefit from paying closer attention.

It might be helpful to consider that the projection thing is real. It's possible that the more you fear, the more likely it is that the fear will come true, unless you never need to resolve the fear.

I believe this also applies to others.

3. Action

I would gently encourage you to do what you think you can do. When I answer, I usually write about methods because I believe action is the best way to help you move forward.

It's important to remember that there can be a difference between knowing the truth and practicing it.

I hope my answer is helpful to you.

With love and respect,

Hello!

I feel the difficulty and torment of the questioner in class. I feel that I have communicated, and I'm excited to see what results we can achieve together!

You asked, "Do you need to adjust your ideas?"

If it's to reassure you, I'm happy to say that I understand your idea!

I choose to help you understand your needs better, so I choose to say, "Hug yourself and see how you can feel happier and more blessed."

Eye contact

It's totally normal to feel uncomfortable when people make eye contact. And it's okay to want to change seats if you're facing people you're afraid of.

So, the good news is that you have the choice to either leave this classroom or confidently be in the environment. And the even better news is that you can choose to keep your mind above material things!

And leaving the classroom also means leaving the dormitory and the campus! But don't worry, because from the perspective of a student still pursuing his studies, he still needs to continue his studies.

There are so many ways to do this! And since you've been admitted to a higher education institution, you can also take your time to think about your direction. There are also more high-quality resources at the school, such as the library!

The meaning of the phrase "confident in the environment, but detached" is that I am in this space, I am not afraid of eye contact, and I am confident!

In addition, if I don't want to deal with someone, I try not to be bothered by them. Focus on: I have my own thinking ability in terms of professional knowledge, and my most unique quality is: thinking ability.

2. You can help yourself interrupt evaluative negative thinking!

When the class committee member doesn't move her seat, you immediately think, "Wow, she's bold!"

We can and should interrupt this way of thinking!

The good news is that whether others do something according to our expectations is not defined by "badness."

The only thing that is limited is our own life!

It's not that I'm afraid of offending others. It's that I'm excited to overcome my fear and grow as a person!

Fear will make people lose their initiative in interpersonal relationships, and it will be easier for others to take advantage of them. But there's an even better way!

Our expectations can lead to frustration, but they can also lead to growth! If you think the other person is "bad,"

This will lead to a state of mind in which we see external forces as "bad" and realize that our own feelings are not understood by others.

And so, we end up expecting to be frustrated more often. We are afraid of being rejected, and we don't even dare to make requests!

And the best part is, trust and love for the world will be repaid in full!

We absolutely need our own vitality, so we discard the "bad" in others!

Let your brain make multiple-choice questions instead of judgment questions!

So, the great thing about changing seats is that it reminds us of how we can improve our self-confidence. We can do this by learning from the amazing people in our school and acquiring new knowledge. We can also build more pathways for our brains by opening high-speed pathways and maintaining a positive mindset.