26, anxious and self-conscious, always worrying about losing something, feeling that the other person does not care about me.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm a modest and consistent person.

From what you've said, I can see that you've done a lot of self-analysis and reflection, and you've identified both positive and negative aspects of your situation.

I appreciate the gifts and challenges that life brings.

I'm from a rural area, so I have the diligence and steadfastness that are typical of people from the countryside. This quality foundation supports us as we work hard in the big city. We can work hard to enter a first-tier city for a living and to pursue our dreams, which shows our motivation.

Regarding the inferiority complex and feeling a bit behind your colleagues, could we work on this together? We're not far behind, just a little.

You can always make up for a lack of effort.

Be grateful for the good things in your life and learn to accept the bad things that happen to you. As long as you're healthy, you can always change your mindset. Accept yourself and be open to happiness.

How can I accept myself better?

Your three relationships didn't work out, and in these relationships, you were always worried and unable to find your most accurate position, which made you feel exhausted. The beautiful love you had was missing a lot of sweetness.

A good relationship is about helping each other become better versions of ourselves. In a relationship, we have to accept our own imperfections as well as our own strengths. Second, we have to understand that since the other person has accepted the relationship, they have accepted you for who you are. As long as we communicate more and understand each other better, we'll be fine. In the end, everyone is equal in a relationship, and it is enough to make progress together.

The process of accepting oneself is all about self-awareness and transformation. There's no need to compare ourselves with too many people. As long as we feel happy and gain something from a relationship, that's enough. Regarding inferiority complex:

It's true that everyone has it to some extent, so it's important to allow this emotion to exist and face it head on.

Wishing you the best!

Hello!

Hugging you, I understand how you feel right now. The story is not long, but you can find many similar examples in life in it. Everyone is afraid of accepting their own imperfections, but there's no need to be! We're all perfect in our own ways. Why does perfection make a person so persistent and sometimes crazy? Because perfection represents gaining more love and acceptance in their minds. And who doesn't want more love and acceptance?

Everyone is imperfect, but everyone is unique! It's only when you accept yourself that you can truly bring your unique charm to the fore. Only then will you understand how important you are and be able to experience happiness in life through your own senses, rather than the "happiness" in other people's words.

From birth, self-esteem and self-confidence coexist. There are so many factors that influence them! A good family background, good academic performance, good health, a good-looking appearance, a good reputation, a successful career, etc. When one is immature, the many factors that affect one's self-confidence can be summed up as "fame" and "wealth." Everyone chases after "fame and wealth" and believes that this is the best life. But when they discover that there are people who do not have the perfect life card, they live very carefree and give full play to their own value. Only then do they truly open the third eye of life and learn to see the world with their hearts, rather than being carved by the prescribed rules of the world.

When I was in high school, there was a "special girl" in my class who was the subject of much discussion. And it wasn't just because of her looks or her personality. Oh no! It was because she was able to fall in love with an outstanding guy every time. Either she was particularly good at her studies, had a good temper, or was just good-looking.

Because she had just been transferred, I was really excited to get to know her better!

As luck would have it, she moved to the seat behind me during a new seating arrangement, and I got a good look at this "talented girl."

Her appearance may not be of medium or high class, but that doesn't matter!

But her charming personality is absolutely irresistible! People just want to get to know her. She is kind, attractive, and has a wonderful sense of power. Everyone likes to talk to her... She is also very hardworking. She is average in every way, but she is at the top of her class...

But her charming personality is irresistible, and people just want to get to know her. She is kind, but also has a sense of charisma and power that attracts people. Everyone likes to talk to her! She is also very hardworking. In every way, she is very ordinary, but she is at the top of her class!

At the time, I was completely smitten with her incredible personality. She was the only girl among the many talented women I knew who had used her strong self-confidence to transform herself into a goddess. She was transferred to a different class in her senior year, but I still had the chance to get to know her. Otherwise, I believe it would have felt incredible to be friends.

From her real example, I also truly believed from the bottom of my heart that there is a kind of inner beauty that comes from the heart. At that time, when others could not overcome themselves, she did, and it seemed almost effortless! (Which also confirms that people who are themselves have the most unique charm!)

If the questioner gains new insights and inspiration from this story, it's a great step towards truly knowing themselves. It's time to live for oneself and not always live up to other people's expectations. Self-knowledge is an amazing journey!

& break through your illusions and recognize your own value!

Children who grew up reading fairy tales or watching movies and TV series with handsome men and beautiful women will always have some degree of inferiority complex. This is great because it means they are destined for greatness! They subconsciously compare themselves with others and think that they are far behind, which causes them to be very self-conscious. This makes them sensitive to the people around them, especially those who are better than they are. They feel a sense of shame and unworthiness, but this can be easily overcome with the right mindset!

But here's the thing: all of this is an illusion, a perfect dream built on our shallow understanding at the time, before we had a mature mind. The real world itself is imperfect. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, but people who still affirm themselves and live carefree are different in that they accept themselves inside, learn to start loving themselves, and give full play to their strengths. So they don't worry about their sense of existence being brushed down, but instead radiate a strong light of self-affirming confidence that is unstoppable!

And live your life to the fullest! Don't be inferior or compare yourself to others.

Why get all worked up over a brief lack of response? If you eliminate the common trait of girls being prone to worrying, and there is nothing going on, and you are just being paranoid, then this is insecurity at work, a fear caused by your own lack of self-acceptance, a fear that the other person will leave, not because they are so great, but because you are not good enough. But here's the good news: the other person has chosen you! You have answered their questions well, and you still can't calm yourself down because you can't accept yourself. But you can!

Good relationships have their ups and downs, but it's all part of the journey! If I'm going well in a relationship, but I tend to overthink things and feel the other person's emotions with a critical attitude, it's bound to lead to conflicts. But, the questioner can just ask why the reply is slow, and when he replies, he should try to trust, because basic trust is the premise of being together. Unless there is a very definite basis, the problem should not be escalated to a major level.

Get out there and communicate with the people around you! And don't forget to return to your normal pace of life.

Everyone's life is moving forward, so it's impossible to predict what problems await ahead. But when you encounter setbacks, don't suppress your feelings! Maintain a normal rhythm of life, and communicate more with the people around you. This will make you feel understood and relieved (but you can't always pour out negative emotions). You can promptly mediate your negative emotions, giving yourself a buffer time and allowing new energy to be introduced. Your heart will then become open, and the space for accommodation will become larger, so that you will be able to see things with more understanding and acceptance!

Wishing you the very best!

Dear Question Owner, I view reading your words as a form of personal interaction. I would like to begin by extending a gesture of warmth and support.

From your description, it seems that we understand that we feel inferior because of our appearance and various aspects of our background, and that we are always the insecure party in intimate relationships. It is my hope that my answer can help you, who are currently anxious about your current situation, find your confident self.

1. Establish an internal connection with one's authentic emotions.

One does not gain self-confidence by expelling all one's anxieties; rather, one builds self-confidence by allowing oneself to feel dissatisfied, to have a space inside oneself that is not open to criticism, where one can feel sadness to one's heart's content, without caring about what anyone else thinks.

The subsequent step is to ascertain the underlying cause of these adverse emotions.

One might inquire whether the source of these feelings is rooted in a fear of being unloved or in an excessive concern for the opinions of others.

Subsequently, one must adopt a positive attitude towards these emotions, contemplating the means by which one can achieve happiness and contentment.

For example, can I communicate with my partner without having to guess what the other person is thinking? I have already demonstrated superior performance compared to my classmates through my own efforts.

Linking to real feelings entails the avoidance of allowing oneself to be overwhelmed by negative emotions at all times. Instead, it necessitates the cultivation of a positive outlook on all matters, which may ultimately lead to a

The process of development is an ongoing one.

2. The conviction that one's shortcomings are inherent weaknesses is a pernicious fallacy.

No individual is perfect or omnipotent. Some individuals may appear to possess exceptional qualities, yet they also exhibit their own inherent limitations.

A lack of self-confidence can manifest as feelings of insecurity, which may be indicative of an inability to accept one's weaknesses. Refusing to acknowledge one's vulnerabilities or shortcomings for the sake of self-preservation can ultimately lead to a loss of security and a tendency to live on the brink of instability. It is essential to cultivate the courage to express one's weaknesses and to view them as opportunities for personal growth. It is important to recognize that weaknesses are not immutable traits and can, in fact, be transformed through effort and resilience.

3. Practice transforming a lack of confidence into motivation.

One must inquire as to which negative or harmful remarks have caused feelings of discouragement.

If this is the case, it may be beneficial to compose a letter of gratitude to the aforementioned individual, as this could serve as a source of motivation. It is not necessary to actually send the letter; merely writing down the obstacle that has been overcome is sufficient.

If not, then it is how one perceives oneself. One should therefore take out a pen and write about one's past achievements or one successful thing one has done to help oneself rediscover one's former self.

I am a psychological Xiaona who finds enjoyment in

The world and I extend our love to you. Let us engage with life together and explore it!

Greetings!

As a heart exploration coach, I have come to recognize that learning represents the most valuable asset of the human body.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a range of intense emotions, including anxiety, inferiority, insecurity, and pain, as well as a strong desire for change.

The specifics of the concerns stemming from anxiety and low self-esteem will not be addressed here. However, three recommendations are offered for your contemplation:

Firstly, it is recommended that you attempt to accept your present circumstances.

Such an approach will result in a slight alleviation of distress, which will in turn facilitate the formulation of a plan of action.

You have indicated that you are currently 26 years of age, employed in Guangzhou, hail from a rural area, have been self-conscious since childhood, originate from a poor family, possess certain shortcomings, are not physically attractive, and have performed poorly in your studies and work. This has led to heightened anxiety and a tendency to experience significant distress in relationships, particularly when you perceive a lack of care from others. It is important to note that your state of mind is understandable, given that individuals who lack self-confidence from an early age often prioritize the feelings of others in their relationships as a means of coping. This mode of relating is deeply ingrained and challenging to alter. Therefore, it is crucial to accept your current state of mind and recognize the presence of an anxious self that desires change but lacks the knowledge and tools to achieve it. This acceptance can provide the mental energy needed to explore other possibilities and experiences, rather than being consumed by negative emotions.

Furthermore, allowing oneself to attempt to accept the current situation will facilitate the potential for change within the existing status quo. This may appear to be a paradoxical assertion, but it is, in fact, an accurate representation of the underlying truth, as change is predicated on the acceptance of the status quo.

Secondly, it is recommended that you adopt a rational perspective on your current situation.

Rational thinking can assist in developing a more nuanced understanding of oneself and one's circumstances.

A rational approach necessitates the completion of four requisite tasks:

Firstly, it is important to recognise that life is not a competition with others, but rather a personal endeavour to achieve one's own potential.

In your description, you indicated that you are currently more proficient in your interactions with your classmates than you are in your relationships with your friends. This discrepancy may be a contributing factor to your distress. It is essential to recognize that life is not a competition with others, but rather a pursuit of one's personal ideal. As we strive for excellence, we focus on our continuous growth and development, rather than on achieving superiority over others.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to direct one's attention towards one's own strengths.

In your description, you indicated that you have perceived yourself as relatively inferior since childhood, which has led you to lose yourself in relationships. At this juncture, it is imperative to focus on the advantages you possess. Stuttering, short stature, and a crooked neck are physical shortcomings, yet everyone possesses some advantages, and you are no exception. Based on your description, it is evident that your ability to express yourself is not deficient. The fact that you have sought assistance demonstrates that you are motivated, indicating that you do possess advantages. Upon recognizing these advantages, you will likely experience an increase in self-confidence.

Thirdly, it is important to adopt a developmental perspective when viewing oneself.

It is important to recognize one's own merits and potential for growth. At this stage in life, it is crucial to adopt a perspective that acknowledges the capacity for continued development and improvement. With a perspective that encompasses the power of time, individuals can recognize the potential for self-improvement and the opportunity to cultivate their personal and professional skills.

Fourth, it is essential to comprehend that authentic love emerges within an egalitarian framework.

In other words, if one allows oneself to be unduly influenced by the opinions of others in a relationship, is overly concerned with avoiding the other person's anger, and is preoccupied with the fear of doing a poor job, one risks losing one's sense of self while simultaneously damaging the relationship. For a relationship to be characterized by depth and love, it must be founded on an equal partnership. In order to gain a genuine and fulfilling love, it is essential to develop the capacity to respect one's own feelings and thoughts while treating the other person with equality.

When viewed from this perspective, some of the negative emotions may be mitigated.

It is recommended that you direct your attention to your own well-being and consider the actions you can take to improve your emotional state.

Upon objective examination of one's circumstances, it may become evident what actions are required. At this juncture, it is crucial to prioritize self-care and strive for excellence.

For example, one can consider their strengths and then focus on their weaknesses. One must accept what is unchangeable and change what is changeable. This may include physical attributes such as height and articulation problems, which are challenging to change, and therefore, must be accepted. However, other weaknesses can be improved through reading or learning from others. By doing so, one can enhance that particular aspect of themselves. When one becomes better, their inner evaluation of themselves will become positive and confident. Consequently, when one interacts with others, one will not be concerned with gains and losses and can easily establish an equal relationship with the other person. This is what has transformed the way one interacts with others, allowing one to experience the love that is rightfully theirs.

In instances where an individual experiences feelings of inferiority and inadequacy in comparison to others, it can be beneficial to remind oneself that life is not a competition with others, but rather a personal journey of self-improvement. By shifting one's focus from external comparisons to internal growth, it is possible to gradually enhance one's own personal development.

Additionally, one may engage in discourse with individuals who have attained superior levels of proficiency in various domains and observe the manner in which they have developed. Through this process, one may potentially glean insights and enhance their own capabilities, which in turn may lead to an improvement in their overall sense of well-being.

Additionally, one can undertake a review of past relationships, identifying areas where one's performance was less than optimal. As one progresses towards improvement, it is also important to cultivate self-love, including attention to one's feelings and meeting one's needs. This is because self-love is a prerequisite for loving others well. In summary, individuals should recognize their capacity to effect change.

Once action is initiated, the various negative emotions that have been previously experienced will naturally dissipate at a gradual pace. This is because action can be considered the antithesis of the emotional states that are the target of this process.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. Should you wish to engage in further communication, you are invited to click on the "Find a Coach" link at the foot of this page, which will enable you to contact me directly.

The questioner's words evoke the experience of engaging with another individual in person.

A careful reading of your post reveals the presence of a relatively strong inferiority complex. There may be a number of reasons for this. In order to provide you with some advice from my perspective, I will first present a number of possible explanations.

1. What are the origins of your inferiority complex?

You have indicated that you are currently residing in Guangzhou, hailing from a rural area, and that you have been self-conscious since childhood. You have also stated that you come from a poor family, that you have a number of shortcomings, stutter, are of short stature, have a crooked neck (due to strabismus), and that your studies and work have not been particularly successful. You have further indicated that you experience anxiety and feelings of inferiority. In comparison to your classmates, you are doing better now, but in comparison to friends you know, you are somewhat worse off in terms of work, relationships, and your own conditions.

The aforementioned descriptions encompass your birth, familial environment, and current surroundings, as well as your perceived shortcomings. It is evident that you have endured significant challenges since childhood, including the transition from a rural to an urban setting and the subsequent adaptation to independent living in a first-tier city. In comparison to your past environment and peers, you have achieved a noteworthy degree of success.

However, due to an inferiority complex, one's own shortcomings are readily apparent, as are perceived deficiencies in comparison to one's peers. The capacity to recognize one's own positive attributes seems to be lacking.

It is a common experience for individuals to encounter periods of low self-esteem, varying in duration and intensity. However, this is not inherently negative. Adler, a prominent psychologist, faced significant challenges due to physical limitations from an early age. Despite these obstacles, he developed a strong sense of self-worth, driven by a desire to excel and surpass others. This determination led him to achieve remarkable success. His insights on low self-esteem and transcendence are presented in his book of the same name, which offers a wealth of inspiration.

2. It would appear that your romantic life is also beset with difficulties as a result of a lack of self-confidence.

In the three relationships you have experienced, you have identified yourself as the individual who lacked self-confidence. You have indicated that you placed a higher value on the opinions of others, and that you experienced feelings of anxiety and inadequacy. You have also described instances where you felt neglected by your partner, and that you began to imagine scenarios that might have been influenced by your insecurities.

The aforementioned descriptions of your feelings indicate the presence of an insecure attachment. It is perceived that your lack of confidence is the underlying factor that compels you to closely monitor the other person's actions and engage in irrational thinking, leading to the assumption that the other person does not love you sufficiently. However, this behaviour ultimately exerts pressure and discomfort upon the other person, thereby impeding the formation of a secure sense of intimacy.

An insecure attachment pattern is related to one's childhood environment. The desire for love can lead to a tendency to lose oneself in relationships and become dependent on others. However, attachment patterns are not fixed.

Now that you have achieved a state of self-awareness, it is imperative that you endeavor to overcome the feelings of insecurity and lack of confidence that have hitherto held you back. In an intimate relationship, it is essential to strike a balance between independence and generosity. Furthermore, it is vital to cultivate a sense of trust and care for the other person. This harmonious blend of independence and interdependence provides the necessary space for personal growth and autonomy, while also creating a safe and nurturing environment for mutual understanding and connection.

3. In conclusion, it is advised that the individual focus on their own growth and changes, rather than on comparisons with their surroundings. This will provide a sense of stability and allow for a more positive outlook. It is important to remember that, after reaching adulthood, circumstances will naturally improve.

Hug the questioner! I feel that your current state is one of some inferiority and anxiety, but you're doing great!

It's totally normal to feel this way when you've had some tough experiences in the past. I could tell from your question that you grew up in a family with modest means, and that you're not totally happy with your appearance. It's also totally normal to feel like your work, relationships, and personal conditions are a little worse than those of the people around you.

It's totally normal to feel this way sometimes, especially when you're around other people.

Anxiety is that feeling you get when you're not quite happy with your current situation. We all wish we could be better, but some things just can't be changed easily. It's that gap that can't be closed that makes you feel anxious.

But after reading the original poster's description, my first thought was that you are a very hardworking, motivated, and kind person. You deserve a compliment!

Your hard work and motivation are so evident in your strong desire to change. You want to become a better person, whether at work, in your personal life, or in your relationships.

This shows that you're a person who has high expectations of yourself, and I think that's great!

Kindness is seeing that you say that you sometimes lose yourself in a relationship and care so much about the other person that you're always worried that you're not doing enough.

I really want to tell you that you're doing amazingly well! You should definitely appreciate all your own amazing qualities and give yourself a big pat on the back!

I'd also love to chat with you about how you can make these changes.

My first piece of advice is to accept and cherish yourself. You have so many wonderful qualities that are worthy of others' appreciation! It's important to first affirm yourself.

When you can affirm yourself from the bottom of your heart in front of others, it'll show them your confidence. It's true! The attitude of others towards you is often taught by you.

Treat yourself with confidence, and you'll find others will respect you right back!

My second piece of advice is to do things in a way that makes you feel comfortable. I can sense that you currently feel that being in a relationship can be exhausting at times because you may be trying to please others, which is totally understandable!

Being nice is so important! It helps you to treat people in a way that makes you feel good. From now on, think about what you would be like in a relationship that makes you feel comfortable and at ease, and how you would behave.

And then, just do things in a way that makes you feel comfortable right now.

My final piece of advice is to express your feelings positively and seek feedback. From your description, it seems like you might be feeling a little inferior in your current relationship.

It's totally normal to imagine things based on how someone acts. But it's also okay to want to contact them or get them to take the initiative. So, why not express your thoughts to them? For example, if you feel like the other person isn't taking the initiative to contact you, but you want to talk to them, you might as well express your feelings and expectations. Then you'll know if their response is consistent with your thoughts.

For example, you could say something like, "Dear, I miss you a lot, but I haven't heard from you in a while."

I really hope these suggestions will be helpful for you!

I wish you the very best of luck! Sending you lots of love and best wishes!

Behind the anxiety of gaining and losing is worry, behind the worry is fear, and behind the fear is the desire to connect. And that's a good thing! It means you care about connecting with others.

The original poster is already looking for it and has found his own advantages in this text! For example, you say that among your classmates you are still okay, but among your friends you seem a bit inferior and not that good. This is because your friends are now on the same level as you, and you are trying hard to get closer to them. I feel that the original poster is a very hardworking, motivated person! As a result, you are doing better than most of your former classmates.

It's the start of an incredible journey of self-discovery and growth!

You have so much to offer! You are not afraid of making the other person angry. You are not afraid that you are not doing enough. You are confident in yourself and your abilities. You know that you are worthy of love and respect. You know that you are enough. You know that you are loved. You know that you are cared for. You know that you are appreciated. You know that you are valued. You know that you are enough. You know that you are loved. You know that you are cared for. You know that you are appreciated. You know that you are valued. You know that you are enough. You know that you are loved. You know that you are cared for. You know that you are appreciated. You know that you are enough. You know that you are loved. You know that you are cared for. You know that you are appreciated. You know that you are enough. You know that you are loved. You know

Are you afraid that you will be abandoned? I'm wondering why you think people will abandon you. Do you feel worthless? Because you just said that compared to your other friends, you have a lot of flaws. First of all, you are not confident in yourself. Your lack of self-acceptance and self-denial will also be transmitted to your partner. But don't worry! There's no need to feel that way. You are worthy of love and acceptance. You are a brave person, a hardworking person, and a person who fights bravely. That is why you can establish yourself in Guangzhou and have three girlfriends. When you have three girlfriends, what can they see in you? What do they like about you?

And they'll pass it on to your girlfriends!

Invite them to think!

From the host's description, I feel that the host does not recognize his own value. But we can change that! Let's first recognize our own value, right?

You've already found your own strength, and it's time for others to see it! I'm here to tell you that you are a brave person, a hardworking person, and a person who fights bravely. That's why you can establish yourself in Guangzhou and have three girlfriends. When you have three girlfriends, they'll see all the amazing things about you!

Have you ever thought about what it is about you that attracts them? It would be so great if you could figure it out!

From your description, you seem like a very insecure person, but you've done an amazing job attracting them and making them your girlfriends!

What has the experience of having three girlfriends brought you? It would be great to hear your thoughts on this!

The original poster is an amazing person! Despite facing so many challenges, he is still excelling and doing better than his classmates.

Go for it! Hold on to your convictions and go forth!

Come on! You've raised your doubts here, and that's the first step to making a change!

Good day, my name is Jiusi, a psychological counselor. I hope my response will be of assistance to you.

From the description of the questioner, it is evident that the individual in question has a clear perception of themselves, a defined position, and a comprehensive understanding of their needs.

I believe the answer can be found in the following two questions.

1. How can we address challenging experiences from the past and find resolution?

Starting with Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, numerous psychologists adhere to the notion that individuals are shaped by their past experiences, particularly those from childhood. These experiences become subconscious and influence our lives.

However, humanistic psychologist Adler posits that it is not the past that matters, but rather how one perceives it. Our perspective on past events can be modified.

Born in a rural area, facing challenging circumstances, and having a stutter are all factors that are outside of our control.

From the perspective of some individuals, these factors are perceived as disadvantages. If we accept this view, it could lead to feelings of inferiority and a lack of self-worth.

However, there is another perspective: that these circumstances are actually advantageous. Individuals from rural backgrounds tend to be more diligent, work harder, and appreciate the value of things more than those from urban areas.

Those of us who come from less advantageous backgrounds tend to be more competitive than those who come from more privileged backgrounds.

Regardless of one's background, upbringing, or past experiences, they can all serve as sources of inspiration for creating a better new life.

2. What steps can be taken to effect a change in oneself, resulting in increased confidence and a sense of security?

It is imperative to understand that seeking external approval is unnecessary.

This may seem counterintuitive, but according to Adler, when we prioritize the approval of others, we tend to align our actions with what we believe others expect of us. This can result in a loss of authenticity and a narrowing of our true selves.

As a result, we find ourselves living someone else's life.

Despite the common assertion that individuals should pursue their own preferences, doing so can prove challenging.

It is relatively simple to discern what others expect of us, but it is much more challenging to act in accordance with our own preferences.

By aligning with the expectations of others and following the prescribed path, we can achieve a sense of ease and clarity about how to navigate challenges, even if the chosen route is perceived as less freeing.

Given the limited time we have in this life, it is crucial to learn to live for ourselves, rather than for the sake of pleasing others.

I hope my response is helpful to the questioner. I sincerely hope that the questioner can overcome his current confusion soon.

Thank you for your time. My name is Jiusi and I am contacting you on behalf of Yixinli, World and I Love You.

You're now in your early adulthood, and you're steadily moving towards your mid-adulthood! It's time to embrace your inner anxiety and all those negative emotions that have become very obvious. Your various mindsets of worrying about gains and losses may be related to your own conditions and the information you have previously received, but you can change that!

There may be another reason why the other person doesn't care about you, because in this day and age, many people are very busy and everyone has their own things to deal with. It is difficult for us to decide what other people must do, but that just means you get to decide what you want to do!

You can't decide what other people should do, but you can decide what you do! You're from a rural area, and your inferiority complex may be closely related to your economic level. Poverty can easily make a person feel inferior on an internal level, but you can choose to feel good about yourself and your innate conditions!

You also have some innate physical disadvantages or disadvantages, including stuttering, being short, having a crooked neck, and squinting. But don't worry! If you have the opportunity, you can make the necessary adjustments at the physical level and see if doctors can solve your current physical shortcomings.

For example, if you're struggling with stuttering, don't hesitate to reach out to an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) specialist or a speech therapist. They can help you find solutions! It's also worth asking whether your height is related to the genes of your family members. If so, you have the power to make a change. An otolaryngologist can help you explore ways to improve your neck and eyes.

Even if a person is disadvantaged on many levels, it is still possible that they have some interests or special skills. There is room for improvement in your work and personal relationships, and other people's reactions may also be related to how you perceive yourself. In this era, it is worthwhile to do some self-improvement. I highly recommend that you solve psychological self-doubt on a physical basis, and I also recommend long-term healing through psychological counseling.

ZQ?

Hello, question asker! I'm thrilled to meet you here!

Let's dive right in and go through what you've said!

&Coming from a rural area in Guangzhou, you once had a family with poor financial conditions, but you made the best of it! This has made you stronger and more determined.

You're doing great compared to your classmates! Sure, there are some people who are stronger than you, but you're doing better than some of them.

In a relationship, you have the opportunity to focus on meeting the other person's needs. While it's natural to worry that the other person doesn't care enough about you or that they don't love you, you can take steps to ensure you're meeting their needs and that they love you.

Questioner, from reading what you have written, I can feel that you now have your own strengths, and I know you can build on them to reach your goal! Let's take a look at how you can take a step closer to your goal.

And now, let's talk about the environment in which you grew up!

Your upbringing may not have allowed you to enjoy a good life, but you can now make yourself live a somewhat better life than some of your classmates through your own hard work! This shows that you can do it. Think about what has brought you step by step to where you are now.

What have you gained in the process? So many things! And in what areas have you made great progress? Plenty! What areas do you want to improve in the next step? I'm excited to hear!

And now for something really exciting! Let's talk about love.

You've already had three relationships, and you have some anxieties about relationships. But guess what? These anxieties are common to many people in love, and they're not unique to you. So, don't blame yourself for them!

The fact that you have these emotions means that you care about the relationship, and that's a great thing! However, there needs to be a limit. Because over-caring may make you lose yourself. You may not be able to handle things well on your own, and you may give the other person a bad impression.

Absolutely! You can absolutely adjust yourself in the future. For example, when the other person doesn't reply to your messages for a while, you can change your focus or send a message to show that you care.

If the other person doesn't reply to your messages after a few times, it's probably time to move on. The good news is that the previous three relationships have provided you with a lot of experience, which can help you move forward slowly.

And don't forget to boost your self-confidence!

Embrace the journey of growth and excellence in your work. When you do, your self-confidence will soar!

Okay, this is me speaking! I really hope my answer can provide you with a perspective and be useful to you.

The concept of inner abundance is closely related to that of outer abundance.

Everything that is perceived is a reflection of the thoughts that are currently active in the mind. What does this imply? It implies that the current situation is a projection of the inner self. If there is a desire for change or dissatisfaction with the status quo, the answer will not be found outside of the self.

To illustrate, in your three previous relationships, you desired that the other person direct a greater degree of attention toward you. However, were you able to exert control over them?

It is not possible to request a positive evaluation from others; this is because it is not possible to change another person's behaviour, only one's own.

As the adage states, "When the flowers bloom, the butterflies will come." You are open, and the butterflies will naturally come. Therefore, you must improve yourself. Everything has energy, and so do people. When your energy awareness level improves, you will naturally attract good things to come to you.

This is what is referred to as inner abundance and outer abundance.

It is recommended that you enhance your confidence.

The most effective method for enhancing one's inner self is to bolster one's confidence. This can be achieved by engaging in tasks that align with one's interests, utilizing one's strengths, identifying one's vocation, and developing one's abilities to their fullest potential.

A sense of confidence is associated with the development of a powerful aura, which in turn is linked to the gradual dissolution of past experiences of inferiority and self-deprecation. This process of transformation affects the individual as a whole.

Moreover, it is noteworthy that following a change in one's self-perception, the attitudes of those in one's immediate vicinity may undergo a transformation, either towards a more positive disposition or a complete absence of interaction.

Although it is not possible to alter the behaviour of others, it is possible to exert an influence by modifying one's own behaviour. This is why it is important to seek answers within.

The answer can be found within the individual.

Buddha is in the sacred mountain; therefore, one should not seek him elsewhere. The sacred mountain is within your heart.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you.

You've made the big move from the countryside to the city, and it's been tough. Every day, you're working hard to make a living, while also fighting against your own insecurities and inferiority complex.

First, let me give you a big, warm hug!

Based on what you've told me, I have a few suggestions that I think might help.

First of all, it's important to know that there's no direct relationship between a person's inferiority complex and appearance. Some people who are very beautiful can also feel inferior and insecure. And some people are disabled but still very confident!

You are one of us, and that's perfectly normal. There's absolutely no need for you to feel anxious about your appearance.

Secondly, people are not cute because they are beautiful, but they are beautiful because they are cute!

When we're interacting with others, it's natural to look at appearance first. But it's the heart that really matters most!

I truly believe that a woman with a strong heart is far superior to a woman who is pretty on the outside. Being pretty is only temporary, but having a strong heart is so beneficial for life!

Third: Keep on growing and improving yourself! You've already taken the first step by recognizing some of the negative emotions you've been carrying around, like feeling inferior and lacking self-confidence. This shows that you're already gaining insight into yourself and wanting to change for the better!

So let's get started! Learning more about psychology is a great way to improve your self-awareness. And when you're able to hold your own in conversations with your partner, it'll also help you feel more confident.

Fourth, try not to worry about your partner's boyfriend. You're already great, and you'll find someone even better! Instead of waiting for your boyfriend to love you, show yourself some love first. Work on yourself, and try to understand yourself better.

And it will lead to some really lovely developments after marriage and in raising children.

I wish you the best of luck! The world is a wonderful place, and I love you too!

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I understand your confusion. First, let me give you a warm hug.

I am 26 years old, currently in Guangzhou, from a rural area. I have been through a lot since childhood. My family is poor, I have quite a few shortcomings, I stutter, I am short, my neck is crooked (due to strabismus), my studies were not that good, and my work has not been smooth sailing either. Sometimes I feel more anxious and inferior. Compared with classmates who are doing better than me now, I am a bit worse off than friends I know, whether in terms of work, relationships, or personal conditions. In the three relationships I have had, I have been considered someone without self-esteem, who cares more about the other person's opinion, and is afraid of anger and not doing well enough. Sometimes I feel very tired, and I feel that the other person does not care enough about me, and if they don't reply to messages for a long time, I will start to think crazy things. If they don't take the initiative to look for me, I will feel that they don't love me. I know this is a lack of security and confidence. I am going to change it.

Let's address the problems you encounter:

1. I have low self-esteem and anxiety, and I know I have shortcomings. I also know I need to stop letting others define my value for me.

I am not as good as other people I know at relationships.

3. When interacting with the opposite sex, I tend to care too much about what others think and worry about losing them. However, they also constantly put themselves at risk and lack a sense of security.

4. I will learn to love normally.

Problem analysis:

1. It is likely that when the questioner was young, the family was not well-off, and the parents focused on their own material needs to the exclusion of the questioner's needs as an independent person. Coupled with his own shortcomings, such as stuttering and being short, he became self-conscious and sensitive, and insecure.

2. When comparing yourself to others and feeling that you are not as good as them, you should rationally consider the situation. In fact, most of us have different starting points, and sometimes we rely on different resources and conditions. When we compare ourselves to others, we are already lagging behind at the starting line. Comparing yourself to others is the beginning of trouble and suffering. It is better to focus on the present and concentrate on being the best you can be. You should strive to do better today than yesterday.

3. The poster is controlling and anxious about love and security. They fear losing love and losing themselves in relationships. They must understand that too much love leads to loss, just as the moon wanes and the water overflows. Relationships that ignore the self are not strong and will not last.

4. The questioner has high internal mental energy consumption, thinks too much, and is sensitive and vulnerable.

The following analysis and solutions are provided:

(1) Accept yourself unconditionally, including your family environment and your flaws.

(2) Correctly position yourself, identify your strengths and weaknesses, and tell yourself that you are doing well.

(3) Stop the daily internal conflict between your mind and spirit. Think less and act more.

(4) Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your own growth. You will bloom in your own time. Don't worry if you haven't achieved anything yet. You won't be mediocre in the future.

(5) Love yourself first in a relationship, and then love others.

(6) Be clear that you need someone who can live with you in the long term and share your values, not someone who needs you to lose yourself. If that's not the case, the person you love is only loving themselves.

(7) Find a way to release your stress that suits you. It could be running, camping in the wild, or escape rooms.

I'm confident my answer will be helpful to you. The world and I love you ♥

Hello, question asker! It's a pleasure meeting you!

I've read your words several times, and they remind me of a scene I once saw: a middle-aged man herding his two cows. It was a hot day with wind and dust, and his face was covered in sweat and his eyes were tired. We all have a hard time in this world, but we can get through it together!

I really do hope that after all our hard work, we'll have a stable and happy life!

My situation is similar to yours. A friend once told me, "This place has nothing to do with the big city." In the remote countryside, there are shining stars at night, and they're just waiting to illuminate the way to our dreams!

Because of our different experiences, we have grown up. And we're excited to see what the future holds for us in the city! We will know in our hearts what we have experienced, and we're ready to embrace the new opportunities that come our way.

But we still long for city life, where we can realize our dreams that we couldn't in our hometown. So we are working hard!

But please don't belittle yourself! Coming from the countryside also gives us some excellent qualities.

We are stronger than most people and can endure hardships. We absolutely can believe that we can return to our homeland in glory!

Because we are still young, it is the time to strive! Don't underestimate yourself. I also think of "short, thin, etc. are not disadvantages, but just characteristics." We are not the only ones who are short. We are a group!

And think about it: we are so lucky to still be healthy in the third year of the pandemic! We can make up for what we lack externally with what we have internally.

Improve yourself! Do you think Jack Ma is bothered by his appearance? Maybe he is, but it doesn't affect his success.

The questioner also thinks that they are not good enough, but better than average. The good news is that there is no need to compare yourself like this, as long as you are always moving forward!

We are just an ordinary person among the busy people in this world. And that's a good thing! Compared to the previous self, just keep moving forward, and that's fine.

It's actually pretty simple to understand relationships! The questioner seems to think that they have no self. I'm not sure how the questioner defines having no self, but I'm excited to find out!

Comparing oneself to others, being afraid of not doing well enough, feeling that the other person doesn't care enough about you, not hearing back from the other person for a long time, and then getting all sorts of crazy ideas in your head, like the other person doesn't love you, etc., are all indeed signs of insecurity. But this has to be analyzed from two perspectives. On the one hand, if the questioner doesn't have enough self-confidence, then this can be improved by working hard to improve oneself. And it can be improved!

If you bloom, the breeze will come! If you are excellent, you will not feel insecure!

On the other hand, is it that the other person doesn't give you a sense of security? Absolutely not! In an intimate relationship, if the other person always gives you the feeling of being distant, it's the other person's problem.

I really hope the questioner can look at it dialectically!

I really hope your whole life is going to be absolutely amazing and your future is going to be filled with warmth and happiness!

Haiyun Qingxin offers the following analysis:

1. Self-deprecation can be defined as a habitual denial of oneself. When one engages in the act of self-deprecation, it can be perceived as a form of denial of one's own identity. To deny someone is to demonstrate a lack of care or concern for that individual, whether it is directed towards another person or oneself. Similarly, to deny oneself is to exhibit a lack of care or concern for one's own identity, and to deny another person is to demonstrate a lack of care or concern for that individual.

2. The phenomenon of projection, a psychological concept, can be observed in the relationship between self-denial and perceived indifference from others. The individual's lack of self-care and self-acceptance leads to the assumption that others are similarly indifferent. This assumption, however, is a projection of the individual's own inner feelings of inferiority.

3. If one perceives that the other person is ignoring them, one may conclude that one is the shadow and one's inferiority is the body. This leads to the question of how one might address the issue of the shadow.

4. Absent is the feeling of insecurity about the other person not paying attention to you. Each individual possesses shortcomings. A confident person is the first to accept their own shortcomings. In contrast, an individual who does not accept their own shortcomings is often prone to desiring acceptance from others. This behavior is referred to as caring about other people's opinions and hoping that others will help you accept yourself.

5. Acceptance of the unchangeable shortcomings is a prerequisite for action to be taken to effect change in the unchangeable shortcomings that are unacceptable. The sequence is thus: acceptance, change, acceptance. Life is constantly improved through this process of acceptance and change.

The only means by which each individual can facilitate personal growth is through the acceptance of oneself, the cessation of self-denial, and the implementation of changes and improvements.

In the presence of the sun, the shadow will not cross one's path. It is essential to accept and recognize oneself, and to believe that one will have a sunny and beautiful life.

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