26-year-old woman, why do I know the effective study methods but still won't apply them?

First of all, give the poster a hug.

The poster's problem is clear: he arranges a lot of study for himself every day. This shows that he is a person who demands progress, is very demanding of himself, and also hopes to improve. At the same time, it is evident that the poster is a person with an anxious personality. He arranges too much for himself every day but has difficulty implementing it.

In response to the poster's question about learning difficulties, I have the following suggestions: Read the book Cognitive Awakening. It mentions a method that is the most effective learning method, which is "by feeling." If the poster feels that the content they are learning now is too much and they cannot use it, then they should ask themselves, "What is the content I have learned so far? Why do I want to learn this knowledge?"

What can you use now? Prioritize these contents. Ask yourself: is this knowledge useful for my promotion and salary increase now? Are you more motivated to learn?

I highly recommend learning "by feeling," or the "fuse-free no-reading method." It's an effective approach. When you learn by feeling, you'll find that what you're learning is challenging, but you can find something that's attractive and not too difficult. This type of knowledge stimulates your thinking and makes you very thoughtful. It's the best way to improve your learning.

The second point is that the original poster said that he himself would be more fearful. In fact, I am a person who is prone to anxiety and fear in my ordinary life. I am always afraid that others will say that I am not good, and I have this kind of anxiety. Two days ago, I read an article on Zhihu called "All Psychological Problems Stem from Fear." The author of that article wrote very well, and I strongly suggest that the original poster read it on Zhihu because many people below also reflected that the article was particularly well written. Some people even said that after reading this article, I would be able to solve 90% of my psychological problems. Fear is like a spring: the stronger you are, the weaker it becomes.

The original poster needs to do two things: first, figure out what he should do; second, conquer his fear and ask himself why he is afraid. He needs to dig deep and ask himself more "why" questions, face his fears head-on, and slowly adjust this emotion. He can do it!

Hello, host. I can see you have a lot of concerns, self-blame, and disapproval of yourself. Is that disapproval from others or from you?

It's our fate to meet here, so I want to share some shallow views.

You used to be teased a lot. You feel uneasy. You should feel insecure.

It feels scary. You're scared you can't keep up, fall behind, or find a boyfriend. You're scared you can't remember things.

This fear is normal and most people feel it to a different degree.

Your teacher is right. Overcome your natural tendency to avoid difficulties and seek the easy way out. Do your best.

It's difficult, so few people do it. If you do, you're your own hero.

Memorize it: There are rules. We have a trace.

Follow the laws of memory.

You say you can't repeat other people's words. I can relate.

Write down what he says and repeat it back to him. Is that what he meant? If not, we can correct it.

When checking with him, we should not be afraid of psychology. Our goal is to get things done. At least that's what I was thinking at the time.

This is just my way of doing things. You can try it if you want. If it doesn't work, we can always try something else.

Hi there,

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I'm a heart exploration coach. I read your post and noticed a hint of anger in the content, as if you're dissatisfied with yourself.

I also want to say that you, the original poster, have been really brave in sharing your own struggles and actively seeking help on the platform. This will help you understand yourself better, which will help you adjust and improve.

Next, I'll share some observations and thoughts from the post that might help you see things differently.

1. You might want to try not worrying so much about how much you can remember or how much you can learn.

I've noticed that the person in the post can only remember a little bit each day and it quickly fades from her memory. I know I'd feel the same way, so next time I'll try to add more content, otherwise I won't feel comfortable.

I can relate to how you're feeling, and it's a reminder of our own experiences. When I used to read, it was sometimes quite challenging.

I read and want to remember just like the original poster, and I also want to use it. If I don't remember it and don't use it, I'll just keep reading it over and over again. After reading it many times, I still haven't used it, and I'm annoyed by having to remember it, so I'm thinking of giving up.

Later on, I decided to just take a look, regardless of how much I remembered or how much I could use it.

This gave me a new perspective. I had read the content in a book before and understood it, but in another book, the content may be similar, but the author's style made it easier to understand. Once understood, it can be used and remembered from another perspective. Later, I stopped being obsessed with remembering and using it.

I've also gone through a process of quantitative change to qualitative change.

So, I don't think it's a good idea to get too caught up in how much you've memorized or how much content you've learned. When we get too obsessed with this stuff, we end up getting frustrated and angry at ourselves when we can't do it.

2. My advice is to just take action. That's the best thing you can do.

Sometimes we get so caught up in thinking we haven't done as well as we could have that we forget that if we just take action, we'll have already surpassed many people. We may not be improving as fast as others, but we are also slowly improving, so why not?

As we talk about this, I'm reminded of a story by the well-known psychologist Wu Zhihong.

The story is that running a marathon is not necessarily meaningful only for the person who finishes first. Teacher Wu said that as long as you go for it and finish, you instantly surpass many people.

You're 26 years old, and at this age, many people are thinking about having fun, while you're studying, which is already very commendable.

3. Accept yourself for who you are.

Sometimes we're not happy with ourselves because we're trying to be someone we're not. We always want to improve and become better so that we can be satisfied with ourselves.

But can we actually change our way of thinking? I'm not saying I'm satisfied because I've become better. I'm saying I've become better because I'm satisfied with myself.

So, what's the difference between the two? One is a lack of self-acceptance, and the other is self-acceptance, which allows us to become better.

The first two are more likely to beat themselves up and feel guilty when they don't achieve something, which uses up a lot of mental energy. The latter is more about understanding and caring for yourself when you don't achieve something, which can help you not to waste energy and give you the strength to keep going.

In psychology, acceptance is the first step to becoming better. We accept who we really are, accept the parts of ourselves that we cannot change, and focus our energy on the parts that we can change. In this way, we will grow step by step and become a better version of ourselves. We are on the path to becoming better, and it doesn't matter if we go slowly.

This is how I see it.

I hope these are helpful and inspiring for you, the original poster. Of course, change isn't just about answering questions.

It's also important to learn and grow as a person. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to your coach. We can tackle these challenges together.

Hello. I can tell from your description that you're feeling anxious, worried, confused, and bewildered.

You try really hard to make changes, but you never have enough patience to stick with it, and you can't help wanting to give up.

You say you're all about the experience and the process, but you're also worried about not seeing results and getting distressed by what others think.

What's causing all this stress and anxiety?

Who are you learning for?

You say you enjoy the process and that you pursue experiences, but when you don't see results, you think about how your former classmates laughed at you.

It seems like you value the result more than the experience and process.

For instance, the opinions of your classmates, registering on a dating site, or the opinions of your blind date partner. Put simply, you're striving for the approval of others.

On the one hand, you've learned a lot of different methods, but they're all geared towards getting the approval of those around you. You're hoping that through your own efforts, you can gain the approval of others.

On the other hand, past experiences have made you lose confidence in others liking you. You've been working hard for something you don't have much confidence in and don't see much hope for. So, you always want to give up, which makes you feel tired and pretty frustrated. This is a vicious cycle.

↗️Take a step back and focus on yourself.

Take a moment to think about what you're really worried and anxious about. What do you want, and what do you really like?

Why do I need to learn these things? Do I really need and want them? Or are you doing it to satisfy other people's judgments of you?

When you let go of other people's expectations and judgments, try to see yourself, satisfy yourself, and accept yourself, you'll be able to calm down, pursue the process, and enjoy the experience.

It's important to understand your own needs and do things for yourself. This will help you become more independent and powerful, and you'll be able to grow.

Wishing you the best!

Hello.

I have heard a lot of truth, but I still can't get my life together. Why? Because some truths are true, but they are not suitable for you.

If you don't take action and don't put it into practice, it's just a theory, a piece of knowledge. Use it or lose it.

I'm going to tell you where anxiety comes from.

Anxiety is a future-oriented emotion. You mentioned online dating sites, and I believe that one reason for using them is to find a suitable marriage partner.

You have encountered too many voices that reject you, ridicule you, and give you advice in the past. This has made you less and less assertive and more and more afraid to try. You feel that you are not and that you are wrong. You are afraid of hearing those voices again on your next attempt. In fact, that is not the case at all. You are too afraid to hear those voices and dare not try. No new good experiences will arise. You are stuck in a vicious circle.

Focus on the present and set your sights on what you want most.

You need to decide whether you want to find a suitable marriage partner or become more competitive in the marriage market. The core factor of competitiveness in the marriage market is not just education, skills, and appearance. It's also about earning power and personality. Family background is not as important as the rest.

Break your fears a little bit. Gain new experiences. Become a confident and assertive person.

Once you've set a goal, create a reasonable plan and start making gradual changes. It might be boring and painful at first, but if you can adapt and establish a good habit, let your body get used to this state, and be patient, it'll become easier in the future.

Here are some ways to focus on the present moment.

Meditation: Meditation allows you to scan your body and mind, become aware of your breathing, your thoughts in the moment, what you want, and the state of your body. Feel your own existence and connect with yourself, and gain strength. It can greatly reduce anxiety and mental wear and tear, and reduce feelings of "I'm not good enough."

Practice calligraphy and copy Buddhist sutras. Which sutra?

Read whatever you like. It will anchor your attention, calm your mind, and make you feel better.

And listening to music relaxes us.

Meditate on Yi Xinli. There is a meditation planet where you can practice meditation.

Heal and repair blocked connections.

All misfortune and tragedy can be healed, even if it seems slow. Our experiences are shaped by our childhood interactions with our parents, and this can have a significant impact on our lives. Some of our beliefs are shaped by the restrictions we face at home.

There are three ways to heal yourself, recognize your own blocked connections, and restore the vitality and creativity of life.

1. Read psychology books. This method is slow, but it is also the most practical and affordable.

Read "Emotions, Please Open the Door" to understand emotions. Each emotion is a messenger delivering a message. It's not about the message, it's about how we interpret it. Return to the environment of your original family to understand yourself, surpass yourself, and find the source of your self-power.

Read "Why Family Hurts" and you will find the answer.

2. Go and talk to someone! Many people have misconceptions about psychological counseling. They think it's only for people with problems. They're wrong. Psychological counseling is a process that helps us return to our inner selves and hear our own voices.

It's a better process of living, period.

3. Take an offline psychology course. Being in a crowd allows you to understand yourself and the world more quickly, to get to know and discover yourself more quickly, and to find your own life in the stories of others. I have gained a lot of love and inspiration.

PS: I have tried all three stages and approaches, and I am also on the path of self-growth. In the past, I was just like you, anxious, stressed, afraid, and not confident. Now, in the words of my friends, I have changed dramatically. I now have ideas and confidence, and I am interesting and not stage-frightened.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. I also hope that my own experiences can give you some strength. The world and I love you! Best wishes.

Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Xiaobai and I am a professional offering assistance in the area of worry reduction. I hope that I can be of service to you in this regard. Best regards, Xiaobai

After a thorough review of the original poster's experience, I would like to present my insights and recommendations, with the aim of providing assistance where possible.

Let us first examine the particular circumstances presented by the inquirer and attempt to comprehend and evaluate them.

I recently had an epiphany while filling out my personal information on a dating website. After three years of learning various knowledge and skills, I realized that I still had nothing to show for it.

Despite my efforts to engage with the process and experience, I have recently identified persistent concerns and anxieties. In particular, after providing the requested information, I began to experience recurring auditory hallucinations of my former classmates laughing at me.

I typically maintain a positive outlook on life, so I am uncertain as to why I experience such a high level of stress and anxiety.

I have studied the methods and principles of learning. My teacher said that the key is to overcome the natural tendency to avoid difficulties and seek the easy way out, to rush for quick results, and to do what you can to the best of your ability. However, when it comes to actually doing it, I find that I am unable to bear the hardship. My memory is poor, and I forget things quickly, so I am unable to apply myself fully.

As a result, I am unable to recall information accurately. This experience aligns with the notion that as one gains knowledge, the ability to retain information may diminish.

I was advised to reduce my daily study content by half. However, when I do less, I tend to add more, otherwise I feel uneasy.

Please advise on the best course of action.

You indicate that you typically share a considerable amount of content with others, yet you experience concerns and apprehensions, and the jokes of your former colleagues frequently come to mind.

Firstly, this may be indicative of low self-confidence. Additionally, you appear to place undue importance on the opinions of others. External voices should be regarded as a reference point, rather than a definitive indicator. If you are dissatisfied, do not allow external influences to dictate your emotions. Instead, adopt a self-centred mindset and prioritise your own feelings.

You indicate that you have a limited capacity for retention and that you tend to forget information quickly. This leads you to conclude that you are unable to retain and recall information effectively.

It is possible that knowledge without practical application may result in a superficial understanding of the subject matter, rather than a comprehensive and in-depth study. This may explain why such knowledge is easily forgotten. However, with sufficient effort, it is possible to achieve results.

You have indicated that you are learning more and more each day, while simultaneously losing more and more.

It is not uncommon for individuals to experience periods of inactivity when it comes to studying. This is often due to the perception that studying is a tedious process.

Furthermore, it is important to acknowledge that people are inherently lazy. To combat this, we can utilize our phones and tags to record important information.

If you require further clarification, please do not hesitate to ask.

You have indicated that reducing the amount of content I consume will result in an increase in the amount of content I produce.

It is important to note that studying an excessive amount of dense material can induce stress, which, if left unresolved, can lead to heightened anxiety. It is therefore advisable to set clear objectives and reinforce the necessity of completion.

In many cases, this is due to a lack of sufficient willpower. It is essential to combine your personal circumstances with the content of your studies and to make well-informed decisions.

In conclusion, I would like to present some suggestions and views on the matter.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to the individual who posed the question.

You are young and have a lot to learn. You have identified some learning methods but have not yet implemented them. You have learned a lot in the past three years, but there is nothing to show for it yet.

Think about what problem has made you feel this way. Is there something making you feel very sad? Is it your worries and anxieties that are preventing you from doing well?

You probably realize that the content you share with others is negative. There is nothing good or happy in your life. Our perspectives on things may differ.

This includes how others perceive you. Former classmates may still make fun of your voice, but you also have a lot of thoughts and traumas that you inflict on yourself. You want to be able to achieve a lot on your own and be perfect, but it's not that simple.

You will face many challenges in achieving success. What you can remember every day is too little and will soon be forgotten. It is also very related to your own memory. You may have thoughts of giving up, but you must persevere.

Don't give up. Persevere. Meditate to relax your emotions and adjust your feelings. Talk to a mindfulness coach if you need to. Plan your daily tasks, prioritize, and get started. You've got this!

What is the question?