26 years old, unmarried and childless, why do I lack recognition in this world?

From what you've told me, it seems like you might be struggling with bipolar disorder, which can cause a lot of ups and downs in mood. It can feel like there's a big gap between the depressive and manic phases, and it can make you feel a bit unpredictable.

And over the past few years, you've gained a great understanding of psychology. It's so wonderful that you want to share some advice from cognitive therapy! It shows how much you've studied the relevant content of psychology in great detail.

Now that you're 26, you've gained some understanding of psychology, which is great! Why do I say that?

As you learn and grow, it's important to develop a sense of self and awareness of who you are. This can also help guide your future direction. I've shared some suggestions based on your current state and available resources.

And then there's the cognitive aspect of not wanting to come to this world, which you might not even recognize.

I totally get it. It's clear from these two sentences that the world has hurt you and you don't like it. So let's figure out why you don't like it.

I'd love to take a closer look at your actual situation in detail since your description is not very comprehensive. You can also think about it first and then we can communicate again. Here are a few questions I have for you to think about.

First of all, you don't want to come to this world. I'd love to know what you feel about this world!

And then there's the big question: how do you view the world? Is it full of danger, warmth, the unknown, or something else entirely?

And what do you think the world is made of, sweetheart?

And what is the meaning of your existence as an individual in this world?

Take your time to think about these questions. They might seem a bit deep, but they're really important for how you see yourself and the world. I'd love to hear more after you've had a chance to think about what I've shared with you.

I wish you all the very best!

If you'd like to keep chatting, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to keep talking with you one-on-one!

I'd love to connect with you on the Psychology Q&A Community, World, and I Love You! You can find me there: https://m.xinli001.com/qa

Dear Sir/Madam, After reading your description, I empathize with your situation. Given your lengthy history of severe depression and your current circumstances, it seems that you may have experienced a lack of love.

Nevertheless, this is not the case in reality.

At present, there is no consensus regarding the underlying causes of severe depression or bipolar disorder.

In my estimation, the principal causes of this phenomenon are as follows:

*Personal Adaptation and Balance Issues*

The development of depression can be attributed to the influence of various stressors, including but not limited to personal growth experiences, cognitive processes, acceptance of objective reality, self-regulation, and stress resistance. When an individual is subjected to these stressors, they may experience prolonged negative emotions, leading to a depressed state of personal adaptation. From an individual's perspective, this aligns with their personal interests, enabling them to better adapt to the environment.

The objective is to achieve a new balance for the individual in this long-term process.

The process of bipolar disorder primarily involves a component that is not subject to personal control: the equilibrium of physiological hormone levels. In individuals experiencing a prolonged depressive state, the body may perceive this as a potential threat to personal safety or even to life itself. This can result in a significant disruption to the individual's state of balance, prompting the secretion of excitatory hormones that strongly stimulate the individual, which is then manifested as a manic state.

In light of the aforementioned analysis, the following course of action may be attempted:

1. It is imperative to fortify one's willpower. It is essential to cultivate one's own ideals and beliefs. For instance, if one aspires to be a simple and ordinary person, it is vital to reinforce these beliefs and pursue objectives that align with this identity.

2. Implement the aforementioned actions. This encompasses not only engaging in outdoor activities and socialization, but also the correction of one's thoughts and perceptions.

It is essential to support practical actions with strong willpower in order to facilitate improvement in one's situation.

3. Should one be unable to extricate oneself from this state of distress, it would be advisable to peruse a few books imbued with positive and meaningful content. It would also be prudent to organise one's time, space and energy.

Initially, the process of adapting and overcoming difficulties in pursuit of success will undoubtedly be challenging.

4. It is important to maintain emotional equilibrium. It is inadvisable to experience extreme positive or negative affect. It is preferable to maintain a calm and levelheaded disposition. This can be achieved by avoiding activities that stimulate or numb the senses, such as karaoke or excessive alcohol consumption. (This is a lesson, and it's quite complicated. If you're interested, you can learn about it.)

The aforementioned actions are essential at this juncture. While they may be uncomfortable, they are highly efficacious.

It is possible that the reader may neglect to implement these suggestions by the time they are required. Therefore, the remainder of the advice will be presented in a concise manner.

1. It is imperative to learn to confront one's past experiences.

2. It is imperative to learn to confront one's own self, particularly the objective and authentic self.

3. Cultivate the ability to accept objective reality.

4. Should the need arise, one may request the assistance of a supervisor or seek the guidance of a professional.

Best regards,

Give the questioner a hug! It doesn't matter if it's major depression or bipolar disorder. The point is that the questioner has suppressed too many emotional feelings and needs.

It is impossible to experience the pleasure and satisfaction of being treated with enough respect, trust, understanding, recognition, and acceptance when one's heart is filled with these feelings.

Everyone wants to be treated gently by the world. If you haven't experienced it since birth, you'll never know what it's like. The same goes for thinking gently. If you haven't been taught to do so, your brain simply won't understand it.

The questioner's lack of recognition of the world is a direct result of the questioner's lack of sufficient recognition from the "world" during his or her growth experience. It is also a result of the questioner's lack of experiencing the satisfaction brought by being sufficiently recognized by others. Furthermore, it is a result of the questioner experiencing more the feelings brought about by not being recognized, that too many needs are not met, and that the self experiences feelings of oppression, grievance, anxiety, discomfort, and unwellness. As a result, the questioner does not feel that the world is very good and lovely, and does not recognize the world.

To adjust this cognitive thinking mode, you must release the negative emotions inside, experience the feelings brought about by self-release, instill new positive feelings into yourself, and open up the current cognitive thinking mode, slowly adjusting step by step. This requires a process that will take some time. Find a suitable psychological counselor for counseling. Use cognitive behavioral therapy and other psychological counseling skills flexibly. These will be more helpful to the counseling process.

I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

Indeed, we not only need drug treatment, but also some cognitive adjustment and emotional counseling. So, in fact, your awareness is still very good. You say that your root problem is that you don't want to come to this world, you don't recognize this world, which makes you feel that life is meaningless, and you have no interest in doing many things, right?

So, how might we adjust and help ourselves recover?

If I might offer you a suggestion, it would be:

You may wish to consider seeking the help of a professional cognitive therapy-oriented counselor, who could assist you in adjusting your cognition, building new beliefs, transforming your thinking patterns, and improving your emotional quotient.

We highly recognize cognitive therapy and believe it can be a valuable tool in your recovery. Seeking the guidance of a cognitive therapist may be beneficial in helping you achieve your goals.

Moreover, research suggests that negative automatic thoughts about specific events and negative autobiographical memories about oneself may play a role in maintaining depressive symptoms in patients with depression. (If you are interested in learning more, you can read my article "Your depression may come from your own memories | Psychological Dictionary," which explains it in detail.)

Cognitive behavioral therapy may be helpful in assisting patients in identifying negative self-schemas and in re-establishing positive autobiographical memory retrieval methods and thinking patterns, which could potentially lead to an improvement in depressive symptoms.

For instance, it is thought that using memory specificity training methods to intervene and treat patients with depression may result in a gradual shift towards a more specific memory retrieval mode, which in turn could lead to a reduction in depressive symptoms. Additionally, counselors may wish to consider incorporating some methods and techniques of positive psychology to enhance the emotional openness of patients with depression, with the aim of fostering more positive emotions and thereby improving the accuracy of autobiographical memory, which could ultimately contribute to a recovery process.

It may be helpful to seek the advice of a psychological counselor who specializes in the cognitive therapy approach that you prefer. You may also find it beneficial to read relevant books on your own, such as "Cognitive Therapy: Foundations and Applications," "Cognitive Therapy: Advances and Challenges," and "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy." In fact, the entire book "Cognitive Therapy: Foundations and Applications" cites real-life cases, and the entire treatment process of Sally, a depressed patient, is also believed to be inspiring.

2. Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the reasons behind this thought. Could it be that we don't want to come to this world or don't recognize this world?

Could I perhaps ask why we would not want to come to this world? Is it not worth recognizing this world?

What would we like to see from this world? How can we best understand it?

Could I ask you when you stopped wanting to be born and when you stopped recognizing the world?

Have you ever had a moment when you felt a shift in perspective and saw the world in a different light?

You might find it helpful to ask yourself the above questions to gain insight into how you formed this limiting belief during your growth process and to understand why you disapprove of the world and feel the need to escape from it. Could it be because the world doesn't approve of you enough, or because it poses a threat to you, making you feel insecure?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that our own inner insecurity may sometimes lead us to disapprove of the world and feel worried and afraid of it. In such cases, it may be beneficial to focus on changing our own hearts and minds, strengthening our sense of security, and reminding ourselves of our worth and value. We can also try to recognize that we are welcome in this world and that we have the capacity to enjoy our lives.

3. You might consider adopting the practice of positive psychology of recording three good things every day, and practicing every day to feel the beauty and small blessings in life, to enhance your sense of happiness.

Due to the influence of evolution, we may unintentionally gravitate towards negative information and events, which can lead to feelings of disappointment. However, we have the capacity to shift our focus. We can intentionally direct our attention towards the beauty in our lives, as it is possible to cultivate optimism. Even in challenging circumstances, there are often positive aspects to be found. By paying attention to these, we can enhance our sense of well-being.

One way to enhance our sense of happiness and feel the beauty of life is to record three good things every day.

It might be helpful to try to find three good things in your life each day and record them. You could record each event in one sentence (you can write more if you want), and you might like to add a sentence of thanks to upgrade it to a grateful event. You could record what makes you happy in your life and what you have done, which could be as small as calling a good friend or as big as passing an exam.

There are people to be grateful to: yourself, family, friends, nature... While writing, it might be helpful to consider what feelings this event brings you. After you finish, you could share it with family, friends, and even strangers, and you might also consider inviting family and friends to participate together.

Since I began this practice myself, I have come to recognize that it is not that there is a lack of beauty in life, but rather that we may not fully perceive it. When we can more deeply connect with this beauty, we can more fully integrate it into our lives and see the positive meaning behind everything.

Please feel free to refer to this information as needed. Wishing you the best!

The fundamental premise of cognitive behavior is that thoughts, emotions, and reactions are interrelated. Thoughts influence subsequent emotions and reactions.

Depression is often the result of flawed thinking patterns, such as making generalizations based on incomplete observations and viewing issues in binary terms. This can lead to deviations in subsequent emotions and reactions. If a core level of thinking is negative, it can influence judgments and feelings about almost everything.

Those who dwell on negative thoughts and feelings will inevitably gravitate towards an outlook that is characterised by negativity and depression.

Identifying and replacing core-level ideas with more accurate ones, and then re-establishing a new cognitive and behavioral chain to achieve a normal or positive attitude and state, is the process of correcting deviations.

For instance, past experiences may have involved encounters with individuals or situations that were unfriendly, indifferent, disgusted, or even malicious. Consequently, based on these experiences, it may appear that the world is inherently hateful, which is a genuine emotional response.

However, it is important to determine whether this can be used as a definitive conclusion and as a premise and position for another matter. This is a crucial aspect that requires careful examination and should not be taken for granted.

In addition to the negative, there are the ordinary and the positive, which are easier to assess without undue bias. However, it is often the case that individuals experience greater distress and more enduring pain than they do normalcy and joy.

It is possible that you may not agree with a specific thing or even many things. However, it is not possible to easily and simply disagree with the world, which is not the truth. This is because even many things cannot be equated with the world. When you think this way, you will lose the experience and possession of other things that are worthy of recognition.

An idea that aligns with reality is the most accurate. The truth is objective and powerful. It is crucial for you to find common ground in disagreement and focus on positive outcomes when faced with challenges. This approach allows you to see the other side of the truth and make informed decisions.

I wish you well.

You've been taking medication for three years due to a severe depressive episode, and you've now been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. In the course of fighting the disease, you've seen how it affects one's perception.

It's clear you've learned a lot about the psychological factors that affect depression during your illness. This has helped you identify your own root problem:

I don't want to be in this world, I don't recognize this world.

I'm hoping to get some advice from a cognitive therapy perspective.

We hope this sharing provides you with some support.

The following message is intended to provide you with some support.

First, it's important to understand that your own thinking, which may sometimes be "generalizing from a partial view," is affecting your physical and mental health.

From what I can see in the message, it looks like the person being addressed is a "sister," which could be a small adjustment from a cognitive perspective.

I'm curious about why the questioner defaulted the gender of the respondent to "sister."

If you think about it from this angle, it's probably fair to say that most people studying psychology are women, so the responses will probably be from a female perspective.

It's clear that there are plenty of men involved in the field of psychology.

In psychology, there's a cognitive bias called "generalizing from specific examples." This means making broad assumptions based on a single event.

Given your experience with three major depressive episodes, you may have some deep insights in this area.

Next, we'll look at the cognitive bias behind the root of consciousness issue.

2. The cognitive biases behind the root of consciousness

I didn't want to come to this world, and I don't approve of it.

There's often a chain of thoughts behind this idea that affects how much we like the world.

I'd like to invite you to think for yourself in this section about what deeper thoughts are influencing you.

For instance,

Maybe I think the world has treated me unfairly, so I don't want to come to this world or recognize this world.

The world is pretty rough right now, so I'm not looking to come back to this world. I don't really recognize it either.

I don't have anyone I can trust in this world, so I don't want to be here. I don't recognize this world.

...

There might be some cognitive biases at play, like all-or-nothing thinking, mind reading, and selective attention. These biases can distort our view of the outside world, making it seem like everything is dangerous, unbearable, and terrible.

Finally, adjusting your cognitive biases can help improve your overall outlook.

To adjust cognitive bias, you can use cognitive methods like Socratic questioning and the arrow-down technique to help you make adjustments. Due to space constraints, here's an example of Socratic questioning to help you understand:

The world is pretty terrible, so I don't want to come to this world. I don't recognize this world.

Let's start with the basics. Is this idea true?

1. Is this really true?

I think it's true, otherwise I wouldn't be feeling this way.

2. What evidence backs up this idea?

During the severe pandemic, people were less kind than usual, and there were lots of malicious incidents, which made people feel pretty cold.

3. What's the opposite idea here?

There's still truth, goodness, and beauty in the world.

4. What kind of evidence can illustrate this?

There have been lots of examples of people helping others in need, including my neighbours who have helped me a lot during the pandemic.

5. If the worst comes to pass, how would you go about looking after yourself?

I think I'll stay away from people for a while.

6. If a good possibility occurs, what do you think it will be like?

You might even start to feel attached to the world.

7. If a colleague or friend had these thoughts, what would you say to them?

The world is a tough place, but there's still hope.

In the above example, you'll need to tweak it to fit your own situation. If you can, get some professional counseling while you're also taking your meds and doing psychotherapy. Counseling will help you use cognitive therapy more effectively. You can also read the book "Bipolar Disorder: What You and Your Family Need to Know."

I hope this sharing is helpful for you.

I'm a psychologist, not a human behaviorist. I'm here to help you with your emotional well-being. Best of luck to you.

Hello, question asker.

I don't know if I'm overstepping by offering to help. You said in your post that you'd let a female friend help you.

And as a man, I'm not sure if I'm on your list of people to contact.

I can see that you're a very aware person, and I can tell you're very aware of your severe depression and bipolar.

It's also affecting how you see the world and how you interact with it, which is causing you confusion.

Just a heads-up: If you keep taking meds to control your depression and mania, it'll keep you emotionally stable in the short term.

The downside is that it can make you less sensitive to the world and even more detached and isolated.

So you want to focus on cognition, and you may first need to prepare for dealing with feelings and sensations.

If you have to find an answer through cognitive therapy, you might as well try to identify your automatic thoughts and filter them.

Which thoughts are the worst, which are all or nothing, and which thoughts make you feel bad?

It might help to question these thoughts from a different perspective.

For instance, if you feel like you're not being recognized in the world, you might want to ask yourself:

When did these thoughts first come up? Did you have these thoughts before the depression or manic episode?

If you're dealing with an illness, these thoughts are totally normal and reasonable.

If these thoughts aren't related to the disease, the root cause is something else.

Ask yourself:

How confident are you in these thoughts? What's the evidence that they're true?

What's the evidence that these ideas are wrong?

It's also important to be clear on the following:

Your symptoms are a vicious cycle of processes that are triggered subconsciously.

When we have irrational beliefs, our brains activate our bodies in ways that make us anxious and depressed.

This then leads to the generation of new negative thoughts and unwanted physical sensations, creating a vicious cycle.

To treat these symptoms, we need to stop this subconscious conditioned reflex response. We can do this with behavioral relaxation techniques.

Cognitive restructuring, mindfulness, and other techniques can help you gradually break the pain caused by this "curse."

I hope you recover quickly!

And finally, I wish you a speedy recovery!

Hello!

I'm a heart exploration coach, and I believe learning is the body's greatest treasure.

From what you've said, I can tell you're struggling with some inner doubts, confusion, and a strong desire to find answers and make changes.

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of why you're having trouble here, but I do have three pieces of advice for you to think about:

First, I suggest you ask yourself when you stopped recognizing the world and what happened at that time.

You can change your perception and get out of this situation if you can figure out why you feel this way.

Did you not get the love and support you needed when you were younger? Were you constantly rejected, ignored, even belittled, abused, and made to feel like you didn't deserve to live, which made you hostile towards the world and made you dislike it? Or were you severely criticized by people you looked up to, such as parents, teachers, leaders, etc.? This made you feel like no one liked you, that you were not worthy of love, that you were not good enough, and you came to dislike the world. You always need to figure out why you dislike the world and then slowly adjust your perception.

Second, I suggest you think about the reasons you've found in a logical way.

Rationally, you can better understand yourself and reality.

To view things rationally, you need to do two things, which will actually help you adjust your perception:

It's important to understand that who you are now is not the same as who you were before.

If you don't like the world and don't want to come to this world, and if your experiences as a child and your experiences growing up are related, then you have to realize that the current you is completely different from the you at that time. You have changed, you have knowledge, experience, and growth, and you are capable of looking at yourself rationally, knowing that you have shortcomings, but also many advantages. At this time, you can look at your advantages more, which may slowly change your perception of yourself and in turn change your perception of the world. When you look at yourself positively, you will be full of confidence and hope for the world.

It's also worth noting that the people around you now are different from those who used to deny or belittle you. The people around you are likely to treat you with respect, understand you, give you time, and wait for you to slowly change for the better. This may also change your perception of the outside world.

Second, remember that things don't have to stay the same. You can change them.

When you take the initiative and put in the work, your mindset is bound to shift, as is your view of the world. Here, it's important to learn to view yourself with a growth mindset and recognize the power of your abilities and time. Plus, you've already identified the issue, which is a great first step.

Once again, I suggest you focus on yourself and think about what you can do to slowly build up your hope and confidence in the world.

When you think about the reasons you've found, you can also figure out what to do. At this point, you focus on yourself and try your best to do well.

For instance, when you're feeling down about being in this world, you can remind yourself that you have your bright spots, you contribute to the world (think back to your own bright moments, there must be some, big or small), and you are unique and good enough in your own way. You are worthy of love. Repeat this to yourself a few times and it might change how you see yourself and the world.

If you're not feeling positive about the world, it can help to think about the warmth and kindness you've experienced. I'm sure your growth experience has included such moments as a stranger's smile, a word of encouragement and support from family and friends, or a kind reminder from a stranger. When you focus on these warm moments, it can help to shift your perspective and remind you that the world is full of joy and love.

You can also listen to the positive comments about the world from people you trust, which may also slowly change your perception of the world.

You can also accept your shortcomings while recognizing your strengths. Accept what you can't change and work on what you can. When you focus on improving yourself, you're more likely to accept and like yourself. When you can accept yourself, you'll gradually accept the imperfect world, and in turn, change your perspective. In short, you need to understand that you can take action to change the status quo.

Once you start taking action, all those negative emotions will start to dissipate. Sometimes, taking action is the best way to combat negative emotions.

I hope my answer helps. If you want to talk more, just click "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom, and I'll chat with you one-on-one.