27-year-old woman, constantly troubled by emotional issues, seeking answers and clarification?

Good day, host. I hope my response proves useful to you.

Furthermore, I have experienced challenges related to emotional issues and have been engaged in the process of exploring these challenges. I have identified several strategies that I believe may be beneficial to share with you.

I have discovered that when I am in a negative emotional state, it is an optimal time to gain insight into my own psychology. I can become more intimately acquainted with my own emotional landscape, learn to regulate my emotions, and cultivate a more constructive relationship with my emotions in the following ways:

It is important to be aware of the core reason for your emotions.

When emotions arise, I attempt to identify the underlying cause. What specific needs are not being met?

Through constant self-awareness and reflection, you may identify the root cause of your emotions. Once you have identified the core issue, you can then work to resolve it, which will lead to a fundamental improvement in your emotions.

For example, I previously experienced frequent instances of frustration when the behavior of others did not align with my expectations. I had certain expectations regarding my mother-in-law, my husband, and my children, including that she would not exert control over me, that he would be present in my life, and that they would demonstrate proactive engagement in their learning.

When they do not align with my expectations, I experience negative emotions. I later identified that my core issue is applying my standards to demand compliance from others, and when they do not meet my expectations, I become frustrated.

When I relinquish my personal standards, accept each of them, and refrain from forcing them to align with my expectations, my emotional state becomes considerably more stable.

However, the underlying cause of anger varies from person to person, as everyone has unique internal needs. It is these unmet needs that trigger emotional responses.

A colleague of mine frequently becomes angry when others fail to recognize and accept him. However, the underlying cause of his emotions is actually his lack of recognition and acceptance of himself.

There is a psychological principle that states that when we lack something internally, we will seek it externally.

When we are always seeking external affirmation and recognition, it indicates an internal need for self-acceptance. If we continue to look outward for recognition and acceptance, we may find that others are inconsistent and cannot always affirm and recognize us. Additionally, we cannot control the actions and thoughts of others, which can lead to feelings of unrecognized and unaccepted. This can result in a negative cycle.

It is essential to take a moment for introspection and self-reflection. We must learn to affirm ourselves, recognize our strengths and weaknesses, accept our imperfections, and embrace our identity as a whole.

After learning to affirm and accept himself, my friend's emotional stability improved. He noted that external evaluations no longer significantly influenced his emotions. He stated, "Once I recognized and accepted myself, I realized my outlook on life had shifted. I'm less affected by others' negativity because I understand my strengths and weaknesses. They may criticize me because I don't align with their expectations. I'm also grateful for positive feedback, but I recognize that it's based on my performance."

Human cognition, emotions, and behavior are closely linked. They are like gears meshing together: as soon as one of them moves, the other two will definitely follow. Therefore, when we can identify the root causes of anger and then adjust our cognition and behavior accordingly, our emotions will also improve significantly.

It is important to accept all your emotions.

It is important to note that when we are able to manage our emotions, whether positive or negative, we are effectively managing ourselves. Emotions are an inherent part of the human experience, and it is essential to learn to accept them fully.

It is not necessary to deliberately address negative emotions; however, it is beneficial to acknowledge them and utilize them in decision-making processes. Emotions are neither inherently positive nor negative; they serve a purpose in understanding ourselves and navigating the world.

It is essential to cultivate a positive view of emotions. This entails not judging any emotion that arises and not determining the quality of each emotion.

When evaluating the quality of emotions, individuals tend to gravitate towards positive emotions like happiness and joy, while avoiding or resisting negative emotions like depression and irritability.

Both holding on to positive and negative experiences and resisting them consume energy and trigger emotional fluctuations and conflicts, trapping individuals in a cycle of emotional distress.

It is important to maintain a positive mindset and avoid placing emotions into two distinct categories. This approach can help reduce inner conflict and struggle.

This approach allows you to manage your emotions with greater detachment, reducing their influence over your decisions and actions.

This will enable you to exert control over your emotions.

It is recommended that you use reasonable methods to release emotions.

You also stated that emotions should not be suppressed. I agree. Freud once said that suppressed emotions will likely manifest in a more intense manner when they are released.

It is possible that many people will cry to release their emotions. While crying is an effective method for releasing emotions, it is only a temporary solution. There are also other methods that can be used to relieve emotions, including:

If you require a means of escape from pain, you may wish to consider expressing your innermost feelings and thoughts in writing. There is no need to worry about neat handwriting or the logic of the content; simply express yourself. You may also find it helpful to identify a suitable individual with whom you can discuss your inner worries and pressures, while simultaneously receiving the love and support of your friends.

If the issue is self-negation, it is important to enhance your sense of self-identification, provide yourself with constructive feedback and affirm your self-worth. Additionally, developing your cognitive abilities can be achieved by reading books such as "Accept Yourself: Transcend Your Inherent Weaknesses", "Accept Your Imperfections" and "Rebuilding Your Life".

If you are experiencing sadness due to a particular individual, you can identify the person you wish to connect with, engage in a sincere exchange, and express your needs to them. Only when we express our needs and feelings will our hearts not be so suppressed.

If you require a method of releasing anger, you may wish to consider engaging in strenuous exercise, such as boxing, running, or kicking. Alternatively, you could utilise stress balls, pillows or sandbags, or even paper for tearing. Another option is the empty chair technique, which involves placing an empty chair in a room and assuming that the person you wish to communicate with is sitting in it. You can then express your thoughts and feelings, including any anger or abuse, to the chair as much as you like.

The aforementioned information is provided for reference only and is intended to be of assistance. Best regards,

Hello, question asker.

It's been a while, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to discuss emotions with you. Let's see:

It is not possible to suppress emotions, but what if someone is prone to experiencing them? How should someone who is prone to experiencing emotions be viewed?

Dr. Tal, the instructor of the Harvard Happiness Course, once said, "We must allow ourselves to be human." In other words, when things don't go as planned, negative emotions such as sadness, anger, and guilt will inevitably arise, and we will experience a period of transition. This does not mean that we have failed or are useless, but rather that it demonstrates our humanity and rich sensitivity.

It is important to allow ourselves to feel negative emotions, to accept the impact they have on us, and to accept our own vulnerability. If we can allow others to be kind to us, we should also allow ourselves to be kind to ourselves.

Perhaps it would be helpful to learn how to get out of the black hole of negative thinking. What is the thinking pattern when we are deeply immersed in negative emotions?

Let's consider this: when a leader offers criticism because they are not satisfied with our work results, it's natural to feel a range of emotions, including anxiety and sadness. When we're deeply immersed in negative emotions, it's not uncommon to have doubts about the deeper meaning of their words.

He offered some constructive criticism. Could I have done better? These doubts, with their accompanying feelings of doubt and self-doubt, will keep circling around in your head again and again, and it will be hard to stop them.

This is a common trait of negative thinking. Once it emerges, it can intensify, leading to feelings of anxiety and depression. It's important to recognize when this is happening and to challenge the negative thoughts by offering a more constructive perspective.

As an example, you might consider responding to the thought "I can't do anything right" with something like, "What led me to believe that? What could I have done differently?"

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether I have done anything good today. Additionally, it might be beneficial to engage in a healthy distraction.

It might be helpful to try exercising, reading a book, or cooking a sumptuous dinner for the family as a way of getting out of the negative thinking pattern.

Could I respectfully inquire as to the source of that person's emotions? How might one coexist with emotions in a rational manner?

It seems that when the brain regulates emotions, there is a division of labor between the left and right hemispheres. This means that when the human brain processes emotions, it does not process different emotions in one area. Rather, it appears that the left hemisphere is responsible for positive emotions and the right hemisphere for negative emotions.

Emotions are not just feelings, but are closely linked to our physical structure. For example, research suggests that anger is mainly influenced by the prefrontal lobe of the brain, while anxiety is mainly related to the amygdala.

It is also fascinating to note that the left and right sides of the brain play different roles in emotion regulation. The left side is associated with positive emotions like happiness, while the right side is linked to negative emotions like sadness. These intriguing scientific findings offer valuable insights into the complexities of emotions and their regulation.

Perhaps we could start with how to properly manage anger.

To manage anger, it would be helpful to understand it rationally and comprehensively. It may also be beneficial to recognize that anger can have a positive meaning. Anger can serve as a kind of "alarm" for our emotions, helping us to be aware of our needs and to protect ourselves, rather than retreating and submitting. It can also help to make the other person more aware of our bottom line, which could contribute to establishing a more positive relationship.

It is important to note that the expression of anger should be controlled within a reasonable range.

It can be helpful to allow a brief period of time for emotions to subside before responding to a situation that has caused anger. When we are in the midst of anger, we may not be thinking clearly and may make decisions based on our emotions.

It might be helpful to take a moment to calm down before trying to solve the problem rationally.

Additionally, empathy can be an effective means of managing anger. Anger often stems from self-protection after being violated, but this self-protection is often excessive and selfish. It is important to recognize that the more angry you are, the more biased your perspective may become, which could potentially intensify conflicts. At this time, it can be helpful to actively jump out of the cycle, think from the other person's perspective, and look at things from their point of view. This approach can allow us to more comprehensively, rationally, and objectively understand the problem, and it can also help us better control our emotions.

One possible way to reduce negativity might be to become more aware of negative thoughts and to accept them without judgment or emotion.

"Treat yourself kindly" suggests treating yourself in a similar manner to how you treat your friends. Due to traditional educational thinking, we have been encouraged to be strict with ourselves and lenient with others. This can result in us being overly critical of ourselves, particularly when we make mistakes or experience negative emotions. We may suppress our natural tendencies to make mistakes or seek help, which can prolong and intensify the negative impact of emotions.

It is also important to treat yourself with tolerance and kindness, care for yourself as you would a friend, and allow yourself to express emotions.

First, you might consider trying to reconstruct the event, learn to look at things from multiple perspectives, objectively evaluate yourself, and actively find a breakthrough. Second, it may be helpful to consciously understand negative experiences as temporary, not permanent. Finally, you might want to try to absorb the principle that you should be kind to yourself and appreciate yourself from now on.

Another approach is to increase one's awareness and accept negative thoughts. It is possible that negative thoughts can breed negative emotions, which may affect the way we think.

The author suggests that mindfulness has the potential to break the cycle between negative thoughts and emotions. It's as if negative thoughts are like a spring: the more we try to suppress them, the more they seem to rebound.

It may be helpful to consider that the more we try to ignore or eliminate negative thoughts, the stronger they may become in our minds. One approach to reducing negative emotions could be to become aware of negative thoughts and accept them openly, without evaluating them or causing any emotions.

It may be helpful to learn to calmly observe the content of your thoughts in a non-reactive way. You could regard negative thoughts as clouds floating by in the sky, and just let them pass by without deliberately reinforcing them. This could be a useful approach when you accept a difficult task at work, for example. You may find that your negative thoughts kick in, and you may think, "I may mess it up."

Dear Questioner, I extend my sincerest regards and hope that my reply will prove to be a source of inspiration.

I will begin by discussing my own situation. I am emotionally unstable. When I encounter something, especially when it touches my heart, I will express my grievances and resentment loudly. I have caused a lot of pain to those around me, and it has not improved for many years.

Subsequently, through constant awareness, reflection, learning, and finally improvement,

The question remains: where do emotions come from?

Let us examine the root cause of emotions. An unstable emotional state in parents can result in emotional issues in children. During childhood, unmet needs may lead to repression.

There are numerous grievances in the family that are not expressed in an appropriate manner. There are also a great many judgmental standards in the heart, which lead to wrong perceptions.

These emotions are stored within us and will be activated whenever a trigger is encountered.

By enhancing our awareness, we can move away from fixed thinking and adopt a more flexible approach.

If you consistently operate in your own world and interact with others in a demanding and complaining manner, your emotional state will only intensify. Conversely, if you take responsibility for your actions, recognize your shortcomings, and strive to understand yourself better, you will be better equipped to understand others.

When you experience emotions, allow yourself a brief period of reflection. By understanding the feelings of others, you can develop a positive mindset and alter your perceptions of others.

By enhancing your awareness and eliminating rigid beliefs about what should and must be, you can alter your thought process, which will foster positive emotions and gradually dispel negative emotions. When your heart is at peace, wisdom will emerge.

It is important to be able to express your emotions correctly, without judgment, and to express your needs. It is also important to be able to convey your thoughts to others and to work together as a team.

Emotions serve a protective and satisfying function with respect to our sense of security and worthiness.

The essence of emotions is also an internal sense of insecurity, low self-worth, controlling others, and even denying others to satisfy one's own sense of security and self-worth. It may seem that an emotional outburst is protecting us, and it's also beneficial to release it appropriately and express the internal fear and pressure.

It is important to be mindful of your own feelings and needs, and to learn to love yourself.

As adults, how do we maintain good health? It is essential to recognize that every emotion has an underlying unmet need. It is crucial to be mindful of your needs and feelings at all times, avoiding self-aggression and self-repression. By giving back to others the emotions that our original family brought us, we can reduce the burden on ourselves.

It is important to maintain emotional stability in order to be able to take care of those around you, understand others better, and achieve harmony in all kinds of relationships.

I hope you find this information useful.

It is also called the ancient brain. It is located in the innermost layer of the brain and has evolved over 100 million years.

This is something all animals have. It controls our muscles, heartbeat, breathing, body temperature, and more.

It makes sure we stay safe and helps us respond quickly to things around us. When we feel fear, it makes us fight, run away or freeze.

My senior classmate went to the police academy to teach about lie detection and microexpressions.

He told me that when people commit crimes, it's their reptilian brain that's activated. They're like beasts.

Don't activate someone else's reptilian brain when communicating.

The emotional brain

It is in the middle of the brain and is also called the mammal brain. It has been around for 50 million years.

It manages emotions and feelings and is found in all mammals. It can bring emotions such as love, anger, and fear to action. Emotion management in the emotional brain is about respect and trust.

The emotional brain is social, not just about the individual's survival, but the survival of the family and the group.

The emotional brain is black and white, resistant to change, and triggered by negative language.

This is what we call emotional. It's instinctive and has been around for a long time. We need to be aware of it.

The visual brain

It is also called the higher brain or rational brain. It is unique to humans and very young, with a history of only 2 million years.

It is the cerebral cortex, divided into two hemispheres.

The visual brain controls most of the brain's intelligence. It helps us adapt to visual projections and reasoning. The visual brain has powerful functions. It helps us solve problems.

Why?

Before anything is invented, it must first exist in the inventor's mind. First there is a general idea, then it gradually becomes clearer, and finally it is produced.

We all live in emotions because that's how our brains work. Being rational is something we can work on. Maybe the point of our lives is to be a little more rational when we close our eyes than when we open them.

Next, I'll answer the question, "What should we do if we're prone to emotions?"

Emotions are inherited and have a meaning.

We need to find the good in bad emotions.

The earth's living environment is not just for us.

Our ancestors lived in a dangerous world. They faced natural disasters, attacks from animals, and man-made disasters. How can we avoid them?

Negative emotions protect us.

For example:

Fear: You're walking down the street and see scaffolding in front of you. What do you do?

If you can, take a detour.

If you can't avoid it, you'll walk under the scaffolding.

Fear tells you to avoid unsafe places.

If you lose your fear, you'll be in dangerous situations without knowing it. These genes can't be passed on. Fear is a negative emotion that protects us.

Anger. The nice guy is scary when he loses his temper.

If you never lose your temper but suddenly do, it's scary. He's also protecting himself.

It means, "Don't think I'm easy to bully. I can be scary when I lose my temper."

Is this not a good emotion that protects us?

Sadness: We let trivial matters occupy us, leaving us numb and confused.

Sadness helps us focus on what's important.

They make us stop and think. They remind us not to live like a machine, but with a sense of humanity.

I gave a few examples of how negative emotions are important to us.

The earth is not made for us, and we are as insignificant as an ant. These emotions are trying to protect us and help us live better.

It's good to have emotions. Don't suppress, reject, or avoid them.

Go see it. What do you learn? What do you need?

What will you do next time?

When you're emotional, take a moment to understand what's going on. You'll learn more about yourself and see that your emotions tell you a lot about who you are. Be grateful for your emotions and try to make friends with them.

"How do you handle your emotions?"

I think you'll have some ideas now. You'll find the right way for you.

Some emotions come quickly and go just as quickly. Anger is very energetic, but a prolonged tantrum is unpleasant.

When it comes, take a short break.

Take a 5-second sip of water after 30 seconds.

Leave the scene that made you angry, calm down, and ask yourself, "Why was I so angry?"

Sadness can last a long time. It has no energy, but it can cling to you for a long time.

Give yourself time every day to feel sad.

Let yourself feel sad. You'll find you need less time to immerse yourself.

Maybe after a month, you only need 5 minutes to feel better.

When you calm down, ask yourself, "Why am I so sad?"

The steps are the same.

1. Accept it.

2. Wait until you calm down and ask yourself why.

Keep asking until you find the answer.

This helps you see your emotions and true self. After acceptance, you can become more rational and peaceful.

How should I view people who get emotional easily?

Accept them and know they're still growing.

As you become more aware of your feelings, you can try to influence them.

They get to know themselves better and accept themselves as they are.

One last question: "How do I become calm?" I recommend keeping a mindfulness diary.

Describe the stimulus as objectively as possible.

What I think about the event.

What emotions did this thought make me feel?

Why did I act this way? What are my expectations/needs?

Next time I'm in this situation, how can I act differently?

Record strong emotions with a pen to understand yourself better.

Painful feelings and recording experiences make you stronger.

I hope you find peace and calm with yourself in the future. You can do it too! Good luck!

Hello,

The original poster

After reading the post, I noticed that the poster was very emotional. At the same time, I also saw that the poster was brave for facing his own heart and actively seeking help on the platform, which helped him understand and understand his emotions better.

So, we make the necessary adjustments and become a better version of ourselves.

Next, I'll share some observations and thoughts that might help the original poster gain a broader perspective on their emotions.

1. Emotions often come on without us realizing it.

Darwin proposed the theory of evolution, which suggests that our emotions are innate. According to the theory of evolution, the development of specific emotions in specific situations is the result of natural selection. For example, when danger strikes, we feel fear, and this fear makes us flee from the danger.

When we meet someone we like, we feel affection, etc. These emotions are good for our survival and development.

That's how they've been passed down from generation to generation.

So it's our natural instinct to feel a certain emotion in a particular situation. We often only become aware of our emotions after they've already happened.

For instance, if someone is afraid of snakes and sees one, they'll be overcome with fear, which will make their heart race and make them want to run away. These are the changes our emotions cause in our bodies and minds, and only afterwards do we realize that we are afraid.

It's actually good that emotions come before our thoughts in most cases. But it's also easy to lose control of our emotions without realizing it. Emotions are something everyone has. People who are prone to emotions are often sensitive to life, and this sensitivity is a great advantage!

This helps you experience life in a richer, more three-dimensional way.

2. Learn to be aware of your emotions.

Do we need to learn to get along with our emotions? It's important to be aware of our emotions. As we become more aware, we can capture our inner feelings better and better, so we can stop and spend some time with our emotions. This often helps relieve our emotions.

Our emotions are messengers, and it's our heart that sends them. When we're aware of our emotions, it means we've accepted the message our heart is sending.

At that point, the messenger's job is done. Often, he disappears.

For instance, I'd never noticed before how anxiety manifested in my body. After studying psychology, one day I was really uneasy. I noticed my heart was beating fast and I felt uncomfortable in my chest area. I stopped, focused on my heart, felt it, and asked what was wrong. It told me I was anxious. I asked what would make me anxious because I was a little worried about my future and was under a lot of pressure.

I suddenly understood my emotions and the anxiety disappeared.

So, you can train yourself to be more aware. One way to do this is to focus some of your attention on your body. This helps you to notice which part of your body is not feeling well. You can then focus on that part and ask it what's wrong. If it can express itself, you can ask it what it wants to express.

Often, at this point, our emotions will calm down.

When our emotions arise, they often have a physical manifestation, although this isn't always the case. Many people just don't realize it.

So, it might help the host to practise more in their daily lives, become more aware of their body and do some relaxation exercises. The more sensitive we become to our body, the more we can become aware of our emotions.

3. Learn to express your emotions in a way that's appropriate.

The poster in the post said they learn to live with their emotions. We also need to learn to express our emotions in a reasonable way, not to get carried away by them, but to face them head on.

At this point, we can learn to live with it. Once we realize that we've been holding back a lot of emotions, we can find a good time and place to let them out.

One way to express your emotions is to write down your feelings and thoughts, including what kind of environment, situation, and person you're feeling them in. This can help relieve your emotions and show you the patterns behind them. Then, you can ask yourself why you're feeling a certain way in a certain situation.

Why do you feel this way in this situation? What are your underlying psychological needs?

This is what the host needs to think about and explore. Often, exploring our own inner needs will help us connect with our true selves and the truth.

Listen to the different voices inside yourself. Respect them. Give them the chance to speak up. Then, talk it over together. This way, you'll have fewer conflicts inside you. It's like a house with many rooms. Each room has a voice. Each room has the chance to speak up.

Often, it's because these voices aren't expressed that there's repression and conflict.

4. Figure out what's driving your emotions.

Our emotions are the outward expression of what's going on inside our heads. Some of our simpler emotions might be accompanied by a series of psychological activities within ourselves. Emotions are also the bridge to our inner selves.

So, we need to use our emotions to understand what we need and ourselves better.

Once we've identified our own needs, we can go out and meet them. For instance, there was a woman who used to look forward to her husband giving her gifts on holidays. When he didn't, she would get upset and even lose control of her emotions.

But then she learned to satisfy her own needs. During the holidays, she took the time to recognize her emotions and gave herself a little something special. Once her needs were met, her inner emotions disappeared.

So, as adults, we need to learn to meet our own needs when others can't.

I hope these are helpful and inspiring for the poster. I'm Zeng Chen, a certified psychosynthesis coach. If you have any questions, just click on Find a Coach, and we can have a more in-depth chat.

Hello! I'm happy to answer your question.

The questioner has asked many questions. Let me answer the three most important: What is emotion? How do we deal with emotions?

How do you get along with an emotional person? These three questions will help.

What is an emotion?

Psychology says that emotions are how people react to things. There are only two types of emotion: positive and negative.

Both positive and negative emotions are a kind of body defense.

Emotions help people adapt, survive, and develop. They can be a source of motivation, convey information, and communicate ideas between people. Emotions also impact people's physical and mental health. Negative emotions caused by stress can lead to a decline in health. Emotions can either promote or undermine behavior and cognition.

Every emotion is valuable. Even though negative emotions can damage the body and mind, we should regulate them, not suppress or avoid them.

"You have the freedom to be happy, and the freedom to be angry." Emotions are neither right nor wrong. They help a person achieve balance between mind and body. Emotions protect a person's entire autonomous system and functions, just as the body's stress response to pain.

How do you handle your emotions?

Many of us are affected by our emotions. It's easy to have an emotional stress reaction when we're under a lot of pressure.

It can cause us to act on our emotions in ways we don't mean to, like losing our temper or acting violently. If we don't deal with our emotions, they can affect our physical and mental health.

What are the psychological mechanisms behind emotional stress reactions?

1. Acting out means acting without thinking.

If a person acts out a lot, it means they can't control their emotions.

2. "Acting out" or "acting together" in a relationship is the realization or manifestation of unconscious fantasies.

"Acting" is more common in two-party interactions.

When facing our emotions, we should first accept ourselves. There is no need to overreact or suppress it. Just be aware of your emotional response.

Then learn to talk to your emotions and understand where they come from. It's never too late to start. Explore why you feel the way you do and learn to cope.

Ask yourself what you want to do and express when emotions come.

What emotions do I want to release? Will they hurt others?

You can also find ways to release these negative emotions without hurting others. If you get emotional, take a deep breath, count to 10, and then see what to do.

How do you get along with an emotional person?

If you know someone is prone to emotional outbursts, watch for signs. Some people are usually calm but can become obsessed with being right when they encounter controversial opinions.

You might end up arguing or even fighting. When getting along with someone prone to emotional outbursts, pay attention to the areas where they're prone to outbursts. Avoid arguing with them in these areas.

To get along with an emotional person, you need to understand why they are stubborn.

These views may be related to upbringing, experience, or life experience. If a person can think this way, he will listen and observe more.

Sometimes, you have to show weakness to calm an emotional person. It's not shameful. It just means you've won in terms of your attitude.

Once you've calmed him down, you can make your request. The questioner will find it easier to get along with emotional people.

I hope this helps the original poster!

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I really understand your dilemma. Let me give you a warm hug first.

The issue you're facing is:

1. How should we handle our negative emotions, and where do they come from?

2. How should we treat people with emotions? How should we coexist with emotions?

3. How can we achieve a peaceful state of mind?

Let's look at the problem together.

1. How do negative emotions come about? They exist as feelings and arise simply because our instinctual desires cannot be satisfied, or because we think too highly of ourselves. Inevitably, we make comparisons in our interactions with others. When expectations and reality differ, we begin to feel negative emotions, which are also referred to in Buddhism as ego attachment.

2. The simplest way to eliminate negative emotions is to not take yourself so seriously. That means acknowledging and accepting the existence of emotions, allowing them to be there, and not caring about them.

3. The questioner has a lot of internal mental conflict, overthinking things that don't mean much. First, just be yourself.

4. When you look at someone with emotions, just think that they are being ruled by their desires and controlled by a very strong ego. Behind all emotions is suffering. Greed, anger, jealousy, etc. are all about putting too much importance on oneself.

Here's the solution:

(1) Breathe deeply, love yourself unconditionally, accept your negative emotions, and allow them to exist, rather than trying to eliminate them.

(2) You can meditate or listen to the Diamond Sutra to help you let go of your resistance and release negative emotions.

(3) It's okay to let other people's negative emotions exist, but don't take on their problems.

(4) Try to take your mind off things by doing something active, like running, playing ball, singing, or climbing mountains.

(5) Avoid wasting mental energy on unproductive thoughts and focus on honing your skills through practice.

(6) Stay focused on the present, don't worry about what's coming tomorrow, don't dwell on what happened yesterday, cut back on what you want that's unreasonable, and learn to slow down.

I hope this helps. Best regards, [Name]

It is my hope that you will be able to respond from the perspective of an ordinary person's life, without an official reply.

I am pleased to have this opportunity to engage with you further on this matter.

Let us proceed to examine the statements you have made.

You have been experiencing emotional distress for some time and are seeking pertinent assistance.

You have stated that it is not possible to suppress one's emotions. In such instances, what course of action do you take?

Furthermore, I am interested in learning how to interact with individuals who exhibit emotional behavior.

Furthermore, it would be beneficial to understand how one can manage their emotional state.

The question owner has indicated that they seek to gain insight into the origin of emotions, the appropriate way to regard individuals who experience them, and strategies for managing one's own emotional state.

It appears that you are experiencing some challenges in managing your emotions. Let us examine strategies for taking incremental steps towards achieving your desired outcome.

Anger is a psychological construct.

In "The Courage to Be Disliked," the author posits that one is not "dominated by anger and fly into a rage," but rather, "creates anger for the purpose of flying into a rage." In other words, one creates the emotion of anger in order to achieve the goal of flying into a rage.

He additionally stated, "Anger is, in fact, merely a 'tool' that can be utilized or not." It is uncertain whether this response adequately addresses the inquiry regarding the genesis of emotions.

Erikson posits that emotions arise from one's perception of an event. In other words, events do not directly cause emotions, but rather, the way in which they are perceived does.

To illustrate, some individuals may perceive a funeral on their commute as an ominous sign, whereas others may view it as an auspicious occurrence, potentially indicative of imminent professional advancement and financial gain.

Emotions are intrinsic to the individual.

The source of the emotion indicates that it is a personal emotion. Therefore, when an individual in one's immediate circle is experiencing an emotional state, the responsibility for that emotion lies with the individual in question, and it is not a reflection of one's own emotions.

In the event that the other person intends to use this emotion to attack or control you, however, the situation is more complex. To illustrate, if a parent loses their temper because their child has poor grades, the emotion is the parent's, but the parent may use this emotion to discipline the child.

Indeed, there are alternative disciplinary approaches that do not rely on emotional outbursts. Therefore, it is pertinent to question why such an approach is employed in the first place. The answer, arguably, is that it is a convenient method.

It is important to identify the underlying message that the emotion is attempting to convey.

Upon the emergence of an emotion, it is advisable to take a deep breath and become aware of the underlying cause. This could be the result of a need that has not been fulfilled or a perception of disrespect, unappreciation, or invisibility.

Alternatively, it may be a sense of loss of control. To illustrate, if a child does not obtain the desired toy, it will express its frustration through crying and attempt to satisfy its needs in this manner.

It can be posited that all emotions are the result of an unmet need. Therefore, when an emotion arises, it is important to be mindful of the underlying need that is not being fulfilled.

As long as one is aware of the emotion, one can then satisfy the underlying need. There is no such thing as a "good" or "bad" emotion; they can all be beneficial.

It is also recommended that the reader peruse the text entitled "The Courage to Be Disliked." Furthermore, it is advised that the reader consider seeking psychological counseling, which is available on the Yixinli platform and in traditional settings. Such counseling can assist the reader in developing a deeper understanding of their emotions.

I am merely offering my perspective in the hope that it will be useful to you. References

For further information, please refer to the following sources:

Kishimoto Ichiro, Koga Fumitake, translated by Qu Haixia. The Courage to Be Disliked [M]. Beijing: China Machine Press, 2022.

I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

I am truly grateful and thankful for having the opportunity to meet you.

You mentioned that you don't require an official answer, and I must admit that I don't have one to offer either. From a practical standpoint, I've experienced growth and maturation in gradual stages.

At only 27 years of age, you are already contemplating such profound matters and developing a heightened sense of self-awareness.

I hope my suggestions will be of some help to you.

First of all, it's important to recognize that emotions are objective and exist for everyone. They can be divided into good and bad, with the former often associated with feelings of positivity, confidence, and happiness.

It is important to note that negative emotions can potentially lead to feelings of self-depression and inferiority. Therefore, it is crucial to recognize that the emergence of any emotion represents an opportunity for awareness and understanding.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to consider how to express emotions in a constructive manner. This can be likened to when people suppress themselves when something happens to them. This can be seen as a form of self-protection and resistance from the weak against the strong. There is also the potential for an outburst to cause harm to others or even oneself in a short burst.

If I might make a suggestion, this kind of irritability is like a gas tank that is about to explode. It would be helpful to slowly release the gas little by little to relieve this emotion.

Third, it would be beneficial to learn to coexist with your emotions in a way that allows you to become a calm person. This will require constant self-awareness, keenly noticing changes in your emotions and finding the root cause of these changes.

It could be the original family, unfair treatment, etc. It is likely that behind every emotion is an unmet need. It would be helpful to clearly understand the reason for your emotional changes in order to grasp the root of the problem.

If I might suggest, being calm means having seen through the needs behind the emotion, that is, the root cause of the emotion. It might be helpful to consider that suppressing emotions could potentially lead to an explosion one day. Perhaps it would be beneficial to accept the emotion calmly and adjust one's self-perception in order to coexist with the emotion, and more often than not, with positive emotions.

I believe the world is beautiful, and I want to say that I love you.

Hello, landlord!

I'm happy to discuss emotions with you.

How do you handle your emotions?

Freud also said, "If you don't express your emotions, they'll just keep coming back in a worse form."

I think that when we have emotions, we should do two things: first, identify what we're feeling, and second, express ourselves in a reasonable way.

1. Identify the emotion.

Biologists say there are six main types of emotion: anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise. We can identify our emotions by comparing them to how we were feeling at the time, so we can express them better.

2. Expressing emotions

Different emotions have different ways of being expressed. Take anger as an example. It's a very strong emotion with great destructive power. So, when we feel very angry, we can try to calm down first:

First, take three minutes to pour a glass of water and drink it.

#2: Take a walk outside to calm down.

③ Get a friend to talk through your experiences with you.

This process helps us avoid acting in an extreme manner. Then, we can use non-violent communication to express our feelings and demands to the other person and resolve the problem.

How should we view people who get emotional easily?

First of all, there's no right or wrong when it comes to emotions. Both positive and negative emotions have their positive side. For example, anger gives us the strength to resist unfair treatment; fear enables us to avoid danger and survive; and sadness allows us to better understand the feelings of others.

The key is knowing how to express these emotions.

People who are prone to emotions tend to have a passionate and colorful life. They may also have a stronger ability to feel the emotions of other people and things. This is their advantage, but they should also pay attention to expressing their emotions reasonably and harmlessly, so as not to affect the people around them.

Where do human emotions come from?

As we discussed earlier, biologists divide our core emotions into six categories: anger, disgust, fear, joy, sadness, and surprise. These emotions can be further divided into positive and negative emotions.

My own view is that emotions come from certain areas of the brain (like the cerebral cortex) that respond to themselves and to other people and things.

It's related to both the environment and personal characteristics. That means people react differently to different situations, and different people react differently to the same situation.

How to live with your emotions and stay calm

In addition to what we talked about earlier, I think there are two really useful tips that can help us improve our emotions and calm our minds.

The first thing to do is to learn to look at the people and things around you in a positive way.

1. Learn to give yourself a pat on the back and appreciate yourself.

If you can't even recognize yourself and see problems everywhere, you'll naturally look at others with the same attitude. There's a famous saying in the psychological community: "Behind your disgust is an unaccepting self." A person who is rich and warm at heart naturally finds everything lovely.

2. Treat others with tolerance and gratitude.

Everyone has their bright side, and every event has a positive aspect. If we can be tolerant and look at things in a positive light when we encounter some bad people and things, it can really help us to keep a cool head and see the bigger picture.

As the famous quote in the book Intimacy says, the secret to maintaining an intimate relationship is to appreciate your partner, express your gratitude, and do the above two things consistently.

The second thing to do is to find hobbies that help you to relax and keep fit.

Hobbies are a great way to boost our self-esteem. Many artistic hobbies, such as flower arrangement, calligraphy, painting, and music, can help us relax.

In high school, I listened to piano music for three years on the way to school; in college, I stuck with learning calligraphy for many years; after graduation and starting work, I started teaching myself psychology. I still do these three hobbies today, and I think they've played a big part in shaping my character.

I hope you find these thoughts and views helpful.

Good day. My name is Jiusi, and I am a licensed psychological counselor. I hope you find my response to be of assistance.

Indeed, many individuals are grappling with the answer to your question. The reason is that it is relatively straightforward to define emotions, and we have an internal framework for distinguishing between positive and negative emotions.

The questioner states that people cannot suppress their emotions, and I concur. It is not advisable to attempt to suppress one's emotions.

In his book, Change Starts with the Heart, Roy Martina, one of the world's leading experts in body-mind healing, introduces the concept of "emotional whipping."

Emotional lashings refer to a particular emotion that has become fixed in our subconscious mind. In our subconscious mind, it is akin to an obstruction or blockage that impedes the flow of blood to our body's vital organs, leading to their swelling and inflammation. This, in turn, affects our physical health.

Let us now examine the question posed by the inquirer.

1. What is the recommended course of action if I am prone to emotional responses?

This is beneficial. Our emotions are the reactions of our innermost selves. What specific event or circumstance led to this emotional response?

Our emotions provide insight into our inner selves, allowing us to discern whether we are happy or annoyed in response to a given event.

2. What is the appropriate way to interact with individuals who display heightened emotional reactivity?

I believe this is an issue that is not widely acknowledged. It is inevitable that we will carry our emotions with us as long as we are awake.

Some individuals display these emotions more openly than others. It is not a simple matter of ease or difficulty.

From a third-party perspective, it would be interesting to see if those who are neither happy nor angry truly have no emotions at all.

3. What are the origins of human emotions?

Our subconscious mind has the perception that the self we perceive is not truly an accurate representation of ourselves, which can make it challenging to gain a comprehensive understanding of oneself.

It is possible that the questioner is unaware that the onset of emotions is not under our control. There are instances when we may experience inappropriate emotions in inappropriate situations.

For example, there are occasions when we may engage in a heated discussion with our partner over a relatively minor issue, despite having no desire to do so.

4. How can one effectively manage their emotions in a rational manner? What strategies can be employed to achieve a state of calm?

By understanding and accepting oneself, one is able to maintain a state of reason and emotion in balance at all times.

Some people believe that problems should be addressed rationally. However, I believe this is not a realistic approach. If we all made decisions based solely on reason, we would not be able to consider the full range of factors that contribute to a situation.

As humans, it is not feasible to adhere to a rigid, predefined process.

It is, in fact, quite straightforward to become a calm and composed individual. All it takes is to remember the age-old adage, "Treat others as you would like to be treated."

While it is relatively simple to articulate this concept, it is much more challenging to put it into practice.

For example, many people believe that communication is simply a process of sharing ideas between two or more individuals, with the goal of reaching a consensus.

It is not always possible for those with different ideas to remain emotionless. There are occasions when it is necessary to impose our own ideas on others.

Successful communication is not about eliminating differences; rather, it is about acknowledging them and moving forward.

I hope my response is helpful to the questioner. I sincerely hope that the questioner can resolve the current issue soon.

Thank you for your time. I am Jiusi, on Yixinli. Best regards, Jiusi

The five questions presented in the comment are progressive in nature. While the poster did not provide his own thoughts on the matter, the intrinsic logic of the questions themselves can elucidate the confusion and preconceptions that the poster experienced during the cognitive process.

In the following section, I will present my personal thoughts on the aforementioned five questions, with the aim of facilitating further reflection by the topic owner.

Firstly, it is not possible to suppress emotions; however, what if an individual is prone to experiencing them?

First and foremost, the questioner elucidates his own perspective in the initial sentence of the inquiry, positing that humans are inherently incapable of suppressing their emotions. This assertion demonstrates the questioner's comprehension of the law of development, which dictates that "blocking is not as effective as releasing."

The current issue is that one becomes emotionally reactive with undue haste. In other words, the generation of emotions is excessive, impeding the ability to regulate them effectively.

In my estimation, the following is the most reasonable conclusion to be drawn from the evidence presented:

First, one should endeavor to consciously observe the emotions that are generally involved in the phenomenon of "prone to emotions."

If the emotions are relatively singular, it indicates that the content behind the emotion is relatively focused. Conversely, if the emotions are diverse, it suggests that the emotions are expressing their respective appeals. In general, there are these kinds of expressions for common emotions:

Fear is a fundamental response to imminent danger, prompting us to avoid the source of threat.

The emotion of sadness or depression functions as a signal to withdraw from external stimuli, reduce activity, and gather resources. Additionally, it serves as a social cue, prompting others to provide support and assistance.

Anxiety is a state of mind that looks to the future and aims to prepare the individual for potentially negative or dangerous events.

Anger is a natural response to perceived intentional harm, abuse, or bullying. It serves as a reminder that action is required to defend oneself or one's loved ones.

2. What is the appropriate perspective on individuals who are prone to emotional responses?

Emotions are frequently classified into two categories: "positive emotions" and "negative emotions." It is probable that the original poster is not interested in discussing the former, as evidenced by the comments. The latter category, the manifestation of negative emotions in general, as previously mentioned, can evoke a pronounced sense of unease in humans, prompting them to direct their attention to potential threats and avoid circumstances that may endanger their well-being.

In the absence of negative emotions, an individual may exhibit characteristics such as frivolity, insecurity, and unrealism, which could potentially endanger their well-being.

The question "prone to emotions" can be seen as follows:

These emotions appear to manifest with excessive frequency, thereby triggering a persistent state of psychological distress.

In this instance, it seems probable that

1. The regulatory mechanism for the occurrence of negative emotions is impaired.

As a human being with a body and a mind, one cannot discuss the mind without considering the body. Given the significance of this psychological phenomenon, it is essential to ascertain whether there is a disruption in the neurotransmitters secreted by the individual brain or an abnormality in the transmission between neural pathways, should emotions occur with undue frequency.

It is also recommended that individuals seek the assistance of a qualified mental health professional at a psychiatric hospital to ascertain the nature of their condition.

2. The discomfort caused by negative emotions has exceeded their adaptive function.

To illustrate, the fear of snakes was initially evolved as a mechanism to deter us from the potential dangers posed by the venom of this creature. However, we have subsequently extended this fear to encompass all slippery objects in life, which represents a deviation from its original adaptive function.

3. What is the source of that individual's emotional state?

This section was addressed indirectly in the preceding question. Here, I will provide a summary of the relevant points.

1. The Biological Basis of the Brain

2. Needs in Biological Evolution

4. How might one coexist with emotions in a rational manner?

This question must be divided into two distinct scenarios.

1. In the event of severe and prolonged symptoms, it is imperative to seek the guidance of a qualified professional.

Similarly, the recovery from a common cold can be facilitated by the administration of appropriate medication or by maintaining adequate levels of warmth. However, the treatment of a new crown necessitates the implementation of specialized isolation and therapeutic measures.

Similarly, if the emotional distress experienced by the questioner is caused by adverse emotions caused by some life events, and the emotions persist for no more than two weeks, they can help themselves. However, if it has been two weeks or more, and the degree is more severe, it has already interfered with our daily lives in the following three negative ways, and professional and systematic psychological treatment or counseling is indicated:

Physiological reactions may include

The symptoms include loss of appetite, insomnia, and visits to the hospital for tests that fail to yield a physical cause for the pain.

In the social sphere, the following issues may arise:

Emotional distress impedes the formation of daily interpersonal relationships and the advancement of interpersonal communication.

The third category of adverse emotional experiences occurs during study or work.

Inability to complete studies or daily work, etc.

2. It is of a mild nature and of short duration.

A variety of self-help techniques exist within the field of psychology for managing emotions. By consistently engaging with these techniques over an extended period, individuals can develop a psychological muscle memory for emotional regulation, which can facilitate the ability to coexist with emotions. This article will present one such technique as a potential avenue for consideration.

The initial step is to identify the emotion.

In order to begin, one must prepare the necessary materials, which include paper and a brush. Once these items are assembled, the individual should select a color that appeals to them and begin to fill the paper with that color as much as possible. After this step is complete, the individual should take a moment to quietly observe the color, as it will trigger a certain mood that is difficult to describe in words. The individual is then encouraged to take as much time as necessary to name this mood and to remain in this mood for as long as they wish in order to experience and feel it fully.

Secondly, it is important to remain with the emotion.

Once one has been able to maintain this indescribable mood for a period of time, negative emotions will inevitably arise. At this juncture, it is essential to direct one's attention to the emotion in question. This can be achieved by engaging in a dialogue with oneself, wherein one inquires about the bodily sensations, feelings, and expectations that accompany the negative emotion. This process of self-reflection and communication can facilitate the coexistence of negative emotions.

The third step is to "pack" the emotions.

The third step is to "pack up" one's emotions.

In a single sentence, describe the negative emotions and bad moods you have experienced. Then, select a color to represent the mood described in the sentence. Finally, imagine packing up all these bad emotions one by one, crumpling the paper or placing them in a beautiful box.

5. What is the path to attaining a tranquil state of mind?

5. What is the path to attaining a tranquil state of mind?

Regardless of the method employed, this is a process that requires sustained and consistent effort over an extended period of time.

The pinnacle of equanimity is the absence of positive or negative emotional states. It is a state that is attained by only a select few individuals across all historical periods and geographical locations.

As ordinary people, it is advisable to accept one's emotions. When emotions arise, it is beneficial to foster a friendly relationship with them, or alternatively, if one is not inclined to become overly attached, one can simply observe them as they come and go. Over time, a tranquil state of mind will become the norm, which is the essence of mindfulness.

An increase in tolerance for emotions and a reduction in distress caused by emotional feelings will, over time, result in the attainment of a state of equanimity.

I am not a psychologist who explores human nature; rather, I am a spiritual therapist who cares for the human heart. I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I saw your request. You made a request at the end, asking for an answer that is not official, but from the perspective of an ordinary person's life. I thought to myself, "Why is there an official answer in your mind? Does that mean a theoretical answer with more theory?"

I'm going to answer your question, even though I haven't studied psychology. I'm interested in your question, too. If I give an official response, it probably won't be right. So I'll just answer your questions one by one!

Your first question is:

People cannot suppress their emotions. What if they are prone to them?

You came here to ask a question because you have emotions. You thought of consulting here as one of the solutions.

You're probably in the relationship stage at 27, or maybe you're already married.

I believe that confusion at this time should be related to relationships and marriage. This is also a time when emotions are easily generated. People have their own problems at every stage.

These emotions are easily generated.

Tell me, what do you do when you get emotional?

We don't share the same views as our parents. If our mother nags us, we can talk sense into them, have a little argument, and argue with them on the basis of reason. There are also siblings, friends, and family. I firmly believe that this doesn't affect relationships too much, so there's no need to suppress emotions.

If you get emotional at work, talk to your colleagues or leaders about it. If you don't want to communicate face-to-face, chat on WeChat! If you don't want to talk about it yourself, find someone you trust to talk to.

If it's about emotional matters, then we are independent people, and we are not afraid of the other person. We just be ourselves. If we can't stand them, we'll just separate. If they can't stand us, we don't care about them. There's no way emotions will be suppressed in this way.

That's enough about the first question. Let's move on to the second.

People with emotions should be viewed as they are: people.

This needs to be explained. People are advanced animals and it is only normal to have emotions.

I firmly believe that it is normal to treat people with emotions in a normal way. If you see someone with positive emotions, you should be happy for them. If you see someone with negative emotions, you should be worried for them and try to find a way to help them get over it as soon as possible. This is the mindset of most kind people!

And now, the third question:

I want to know where that person's emotions come from.

I believe this question would be better answered officially, given the advancements in psychology and science. We now know that humans are advanced animals with a complex brain structure, including the autonomic nervous system, hypothalamus, and cortex. This provides a clear physiological basis for the production of emotions.

I believe it is possible to think this way in life. We know that in life, there are nine out of ten things that are not as good as they should be. Despite this, we can still be happy.

Worry, disappointment, despair—they're all part of life. And so are happiness, joy, and contentment. Emotions are a constant, and they're always with us.

And now, to your fourth question:

You coexist with your emotions rationally.

When we encounter something happy, it's natural to want to share that emotion with others. There's no need to be rational about it.

The key is to be rational and accept that things don't always go as planned. Negative emotions are a normal part of life, and we have to face that fact. Life is full of disappointments, and that's normal. We all have to face it, and not just you or me. Think about how many people have been affected by the current pandemic.

We must think positively and rationally about being blocked and unable to work. That's good. Just rest whenever it's easy, and enjoy the current state of mind. Fortunately, it's not particularly worse, which means that we are content with whatever state we are in. This ensures that your rationality and emotions coexist.

We have reached your last question, and it is clear.

I'm going to tell you the way to become a person with a peaceful mind.

If you truly desire something, and you keep that desire in your heart, you will find it!

I say this because you want to be a calm person. You pay attention to the fact that you are calm for a while. You know that although it hasn't reached your goal, it's not that bad. You've gained a lot!

If you're in a relationship and the worst thing that could happen is losing the love of your life, then you need to ask yourself: why are you relying on someone else to carry your burden? Why are you letting them hug you and feed you? You have your own hands and feet, you're healthy, you can go anywhere.

His leaving us is his biggest loss. I used this extreme example to show that reaching a certain stage and seeing the benefits of that stage is similar to the question above about getting along with rationality and emotions. In other words, if we are content and grateful, we can ensure a more peaceful state of mind!

We don't ask for much. We don't need food to be good or clothes to be nice. We can live a simple life, eating and wearing what we can!

We shouldn't expect too much. Look at the people caught in the war and the people suffering from the pandemic. Look at those who suffered in ancient times. The monarchs had it worse than we do now!

Furthermore, 27 is the prime of life, when the body is at its best and healthiest. The children are still very young and can't do anything, and the elderly are sick. Think about how happy you are at the age of 27!

After all this rambling, this is what I think. This is the perspective on life you were talking about. This is the level I'm at. I know that what you've read here has been of some small benefit to you.

I am pleased and thankful that you came here to ask questions. This has given me the chance to chat with you about these issues and to work through my own feelings. It has also helped me to achieve a greater sense of peace. Thank you!

In the future, we will join hands and calm our minds!

The world and I love you!

Dear questioner, I'm excited to answer your question!

Everyone has emotions, and they're a natural part of life! Some people have particularly strong emotions, and when these emotions start to appear, they can be accompanied by great pain. However, over time, the intensity of the emotions will weaken, and the number of occurrences will also decrease. Some people are very good at controlling their emotions, so you can see that people with high emotional intelligence basically will not be affected by emotional backlash. If they are affected by emotional backlash and do not know how to control their emotions, their emotions will control them and cause impulsive behavior. But don't worry! There are plenty of ways to learn to control your emotions.

An emotion can be so strong that it is difficult to control, such as anger. As long as you are not provoked, you will not be extremely angry. I am like this. I have caused many conflicts. I have tried to control it in the past, but as long as I don't think this way, the situation will get worse. So when you encounter this situation, don't think about suppressing and getting rid of this emotion, as this will only strengthen it. When you decide to enter a stimulating environment, you should, according to your own abilities, have some contact with it, gradually deepening your involvement. You should not suddenly put yourself in the most unbearable environment. Embrace the challenge!

The great news is that you can learn to accept these emotions and coexist with them. It all depends on your tolerance. If you begin to be able to tolerate them, their intensity will gradually weaken. It might be difficult to tolerate them at first, but that's OK. You're not alone. At this time, the best way is to stay away from stimulating environments and calm yourself down. After a period of time, you will find that living in a restricted environment will cost you more. At this time, you will begin to slowly be able to tolerate this pain, which is the beginning of recovery and a very important stage. We can also, within our abilities, find a goal to make life fulfilling, so that you can better accept these emotions.

There are so many great ways to reduce the impact of emotions and become a calm person!

For example, the fantastic exercise method: whenever emotions arise, we can do some exercise, such as running, cycling, and other aerobic exercises!

And now for something really exciting! ②. Self-suggestion.

When we are troubled by emotions, we can suggest to ourselves not to be controlled by them. And guess what? Actively suggesting to ourselves can help us break down our emotions and get out of them faster!

And there's more! You can also listen to some soothing music. Not only does music relieve fatigue, but it also reduces the backlash of emotions.

And now for the fourth step! When you're facing intense emotional changes, it's time to calm down and think about which emotion it is.

And there's more! Once you've identified an emotion, try to find two words to describe your feelings right now. You might be surprised to find that you have more than one emotion.

You might even discover a deeper emotion that's hidden behind a superficial one! If you find yourself caught up in certain emotions, take out the list and write down two lines of your current feelings: one listing the emotions you feel strongly, and the other listing the emotions you feel lightly.

Take your time! For each emotion on the list, ask yourself honestly if you have that emotion. There's no need to rush. Identifying your emotions is much easier by accurately expressing them in words, and confirming a word from the list that accurately expresses your real-time feelings. Then figure out the reason behind the emotion!

I really hope this helps the questioner!

Emotions are a wonderful part of life! Women and girls have a lot of them, and you're still young, so you have plenty of time to experience them. The people around me are mostly girls in their early twenties, and they have a lot of emotions every day, too!

You feel like you've been dealing with emotional challenges all the time, but you haven't identified the specific emotions. You can describe this more accurately in the future to gain a deeper understanding of your state and the full range of your emotions.

You can describe those feelings in more ordinary and concise language. You said that people cannot suppress their emotions, and indeed they cannot. So when you are prone to emotions, you can talk to the people around you. If someone doesn't want to listen, then you can find someone who is willing to listen!

We can find people who really love themselves, such as our best girlfriends, our best roommates, and so on. People who are prone to emotions are usually also people of character. They have many views on the things that happen in our lives, and when views and moods come together, it is easy to have more intense emotions. But that's a good thing! It just means they're passionate about life and have a lot to offer.

Human emotions usually come from the amygdala of our brain. You can search for this. In order to use a more colloquial perspective, I won't go into detail. The great news is that we can also discover that reason and emotion can always get along together! You can make decisions through reason or through emotion, and both are possible. The prerequisite is that you can calm yourself down, so you need to talk to someone about it.

ZQ?

Hello, I'd like to discuss this with you.

First of all, it's natural to have emotions, and many of our behaviors are instinctive reactions. This is also something that can hold us back. People who can control their emotions are the ones who succeed.

Many people want to go to Qinghua or Peking University, but only some can. There are external influences, like economic foundation and family environment,

It's also possible for a poor family to produce a noble son. And there are plenty of wealthy people whose children aren't enrolled in prestigious schools.

The key is being able to control your emotions.

Second, the situation itself may not be stressful, but the emotions can be. You can trace any emotion back to a cause if you calm down and analyze it carefully.

It doesn't matter if it's because of the weather, because you don't feel well, or because of something else that's come up unexpectedly. I think the best thing to do is to take your mind off it and focus on something else.

When you realize that your emotions are out of control and could have serious consequences, it's time to take a step back and distract yourself.

For instance, if something comes up at work and you're running late, you might feel frustrated. Instead of dwelling on it, try focusing your attention on something else, like what you're going to eat for lunch.

Don't spend time on unimportant things. Instead, change your mindset and get ready.

Finally, how do you balance reason with emotion? The ancients had a good saying: think twice before you act.

When we're doing things, we should make a habit of thinking things through, weighing the pros and cons, and not letting momentary impulses take over. In this fast-developing information age, don't be influenced by too much fluff, roll up your sleeves, and get to work!

If we combine what we know with what we do, we'll eventually meet a better version of ourselves.

It is a fallacy to assume that one is incapable of experiencing emotions.

It is a universal human experience to have emotions. For the average person, it is challenging to entirely avoid them. However, there are two main approaches to managing emotions:

The first category is that of being controlled by emotions.

If one loses one's temper at the slightest provocation, it is impossible to exert control over one's emotions, which will manifest unbidden.

The second aspect to consider is the ability to control emotions.

When one observes oneself becoming emotional, one does not suppress or release the emotion, but rather transforms it. This transformation is often conceptualized as a separation between the "small self" and the "true self." The "small self" is associated with the five poisons of greed, hatred, delusion, arrogance, and doubt, whereas the "true self" is seen as pure, equal, and aware, and is imbued with perfect wisdom.

If one employs one's "true self" to observe the emotions of one's "small self," it is akin to using water to extinguish a fire: the fire is extinguished wherever the water is applied.

The "true self" can be defined as a kind of high-dimensional wisdom. When high-dimensional wisdom is applied to the examination of low-dimensional emotions, it becomes evident that emotions are essentially artificial constructs, and that the so-called anger and complaints are in fact self-generated.

Therefore, in conclusion, if an individual asserts that they are unable to regulate their emotions, this can be regarded as a mere excuse.

The cultivation of the mind is the solution to all concerns.

The root cause of negativity in individuals is the influence of the heart. Mind cultivation can address any issue in life, but this requires an understanding of one's true self. The true self represents an individual's genuine nature. By engaging with this true self, one can gain wisdom and reduce the intensity of concerns.

I extend my sincerest wishes to you.

From your question, I can tell that you are a very self-aware person. In fact, everyone has control-my-emotions-and-tears-2783.html" target="_blank">emotions, and I often get emotional and feel uncomfortable, too!

How should we view people who are emotional? It's only natural to have emotions! If someone has no emotions at all, they must be very boring.

Robots don't have emotions, right? But at the same time, who would want to be friends with a robot? We are endearing because we have emotions.

We all feel sadness, anger, jealousy, longing, resentment, and hatred from time to time. They're all part of being human! While they can make us feel bad, we can't do without them. Love, happiness, contentment, and joy make us feel comfortable and at ease, and give us confidence.

You might be wondering, "People can't suppress their emotions, but what should they do when they have emotions?" Well, first, we just need to distinguish between having emotions and the related behaviors that arise after having emotions.

It's totally normal to feel angry. We might even feel it inside, but it happens so fast that we don't always notice. Sometimes, when we can't stand it inside, we might unconsciously use external behaviors to help vent our bad emotions. This could be anything from breaking things, yelling, or hurting ourselves or others. At this time, the emotions have already been transformed from the invisible brain into external behaviors. This is when we can see the emotions.

It's so important to create a sense of comfort for ourselves if we want to be a calm person. There are so many simple ways to do this! For example, you could dress up a little more beautifully before going out this morning, or find a piece of clothing you like. In the evening, you could have a dinner you love, or make more friends, listen to music, chat about gossip, watch movies and drink tea. If something goes wrong, try not to see or hear it, and let it pass for a while. After an hour or a day, when you come back to it, you'll probably feel less angry than you did when it first happened.

If you encounter an annoying person who makes you angry, perhaps you can adopt the spirit of Ah Q: I'm not taking you seriously, arguing with you about right and wrong is useless, and it's not like it'll make a difference, hahaha, I'm not getting angry, if I do, it'll just make you mad!

The intensity and duration of the emotions that trouble us can affect us a lot. So, are we feeling furious or indignant?

Are you feeling really happy or excited? When our emotions get too strong, it's good to take a step back and control them in a positive way. If we don't, we might start to feel angry, which isn't good for us.

On top of that, how long our emotions stick around can also affect us. For instance, how long does a low mood last? Is it just a day, or half a month?

Oh my, it's still a year away! I can already tell this will have a big impact on our lives.

Take Lin Daiyu, for instance. She's the kind of person who gets a little sad sometimes, but it's just a passing feeling. If it sticks around for too long, it can start to shape who you are. This kind of sadness is attractive, not just to you, but to others too. It's like a lot of great works of literature. People are similar in many ways, and that's just part of what makes us human.

Because of such feelings, amazing things can be created! Think of all the great works of literature, painting, and music that have come from people who were feeling passionate about something. It's important to pay attention to our emotions, to see how intense and long-lasting they are. We can even make a little table for ourselves, with a scale of 0-10, to track how we felt when we lost our temper this time.

Similarly, it can be really helpful to categorize your emotions. You could try happiness, sadness, and anger. Then, just observe how long each of them lasts. Is it a day? A month?

Just three short months! After such observation, you'll know yourself better, and you'll slowly get used to seeing yourself from another perspective. Before you know it, you'll be as free from bad emotions as you are now from good ones!

You said to try to answer from the perspective of an ordinary person's life, and I'm a full-time counselor, so I'm not sure if it will bring out a professional way of thinking and style. I really hope my answer can help you!

Smile, shake hands, and good luck!

Good evening! I just wanted to give you a 360-degree hug.

From your question, I can tell you have a clear mind and some knowledge of psychology. You want to know how to answer questions and solve problems when you are troubled by emotions.

When I saw your problem, I immediately thought of a book called "High Sensitivity is a Gift." The author is a highly sensitive person herself, so she really understands the feelings and suffering of highly sensitive people. She's also received professional training in various types of psychotherapy and has found ways to help highly sensitive people live happier and more relaxed lives.

I think you have some of the characteristics of highly sensitive people, such as being sensitive to capturing information and having a high ability to empathize. I suspect that you also have other characteristics of highly sensitive people, such as a strong sense of responsibility, a richer inner world, and a desire to explore spiritual needs.

It's worth noting that high sensitivity is a normal phenomenon, and that it affects a significant portion of the population—about 15% to 20%.

But highly sensitive people are particularly prone to getting exhausted because they have high expectations of themselves and strive for perfection. At the same time, they pay great attention to their emotions, for fear of affecting others. They have a lower sense of self-esteem, which may be related to their personality and the environment in which they were raised.

So, what can we do about it?

First, you need to stop depleting your own energy, learn to accept yourself, and love yourself.

The internal conflict of high sensitivity is like an internal war, constantly draining internal energy.

The main reason we feel depleted is because we don't accept ourselves and think we're not good enough.

For instance, you might think that you shouldn't have emotions. But, as a human being, you will have emotions. If you don't have emotions, you're basically a robot.

Sometimes, not having emotions is also a kind of emotion, which is suppressing them. Suppression is temporary, and if you suppress too much, it will backfire.

So, it's important to accept that everyone has emotions and that our emotions are just a little more sensitive than others. There's one in every five people who is just like you. So, accept yourself, don't feel that it's your fault to have emotions, and don't expect to live like other people.

I'm actually a very sensitive person, but I tend to be most sensitive when I watch TV dramas. I cry at the sad parts even before the TV shows tears. Recently, I can't even watch sad things on the news because just reading the headlines makes me want to cry.

For instance, when I saw the news about the China Eastern Airlines crash today, I felt the urge to cry right away.

I'm used to this kind of thing, crying while watching the Three Kingdoms.

I'm not as sensitive to other things, like what other people think of me. I don't really care about that stuff.

I think it's pretty good. When I feel like crying, I watch TV dramas or sad news. The other day, I watched "Water Margin" and saw Wu Song's blood splashing on the Mandarin Duck Tower, and I cried.

Secondly, you can learn to let go, especially emotionally, and just live your best life.

For instance, you might want to consider watching less news, particularly the kind that could cause you to feel emotionally up and down. You could set aside a specific time each day when you don't watch the news or check your friends' feeds.

Third, you need to learn to manage your emotions.

Emotions and thoughts always go hand in hand. You can't control your emotions directly, but you can use your thoughts to influence how you feel.

For instance, say you have a colleague who passes you by without saying a word. If you dwell on it, you might get annoyed that she's looking down on you.

But if you want, she's probably too busy to talk to me, and you'll feel much better.

If you're interested, you can also look into cognitive behavioral therapy to help you change your perceptions and beliefs.

That's all for today. I'll leave you with a few book recommendations: "High Sensitivity Is a Gift" and its practical companion, "Emotional Detachment."

I hope you can find a way to get on better with your emotions soon.

I'm a counselor who's often both Buddhist and depressed, but I also have moments of positivity and motivation. I love the world and I love you.

Good day, my name is Yiyashu.

After reviewing your correspondence, I understand your desire for guidance in navigating your emotional distress and seeking solutions.

The initial inquiry may appear to be about emotions, but the underlying motivation is likely to be a desire for clarity and understanding regarding emotional challenges. The questions are posed with the intention of gaining insights that can help alleviate discomfort and confusion.

In your text, you stated, "People cannot suppress their emotions, but what if they are prone to them?" This indicates that you have likely read extensively on the subject of psychology or taken courses in the field. Many of these sources emphasize that suppressing emotions is not a productive approach. You previously relied on suppression as a coping mechanism but have since shifted to a more open approach. However, without suppression, you may experience a range of intense emotions. How can I best support you in navigating these emotions?

This may be the core issue you're trying to convey.

I would like to take this opportunity to share some of my thoughts on this issue.

As someone who previously attempted to suppress their emotions, I have experienced the adverse consequences of this approach first-hand. In the past, when I had positive interactions with my family or colleagues, I often held negative feelings towards them. I often had strong emotions about the people and things in my life. Whenever I experienced these emotions, I chose to suppress them, which often resulted in negative consequences.

I was also under the impression that I could suppress my emotions indefinitely. However, this is not a sustainable approach. Emotions are like water flow; attempting to hold them back only results in them accumulating. Eventually, in a specific situation, the straw that breaks the camel's back will emerge, leading to a complete breakdown and subsequent explosion. This kind of explosion can have a significant negative impact on relationships and may also result in embarrassing and challenging circumstances.

I believe the reason the original poster asked in the post what way to become a calm person is probably because you also often lose your temper after you can't hold back your emotions, making the scene difficult to watch, etc. Therefore, you are interested in learning a more effective way to manage your emotions so that you can avoid letting them get out of control and resulting in embarrassing situations. Is this correct?

Given the numerous disadvantages of suppressing emotions, how should one handle a multitude of emotions that require expression? Apart from suppression, what alternative approach offers a more effective means of dealing with these emotions?

One method I utilize frequently is to address and express my emotions in a measured manner each time they arise.

For instance, if you have some dissatisfaction with your family, there are typically two extreme ways to deal with emotions: one is to refrain from expressing your emotions and suppress the anger, and the other is to lose your temper when you cannot hold back any longer. In fact, there is a third way, which is to express your emotions in a reasonable manner each time you experience a trace of dissatisfaction, so as to release the aggression at that moment.

There are numerous methods for releasing aggression in a subtle manner. I can recommend a book and a course to the questioner that I have found to be very useful for my own learning. The course and book are from Congfei's teacher. The book is entitled "Understanding Anger" and the course is called "Dui Dui Class."

This book and course have taught me how to appropriately release aggression in a variety of ways while maintaining my boundaries.

It is worth noting that the term "arguing" is often used in this context. Arguing can be defined as a micro-measurement of the release of aggression, an action that expresses emotions. When engaging in an argument with another individual, it is important to ensure that one does not suppress their emotions, nor does one attack the other person. Instead, it is essential to convey one's emotions to the other person in a reasonable manner.

It is not a simple matter to learn how to argue with people. One must practice frequently to become proficient. Through continuous trial and practice, one can learn when and how to say the most effective things.

The questioner is encouraged to study this book and course carefully and communicate more with similar colleagues. This will be very helpful for you to find that "degree." This "degree" is actually an intuition that you find through constant practice. When you practice more, you will really get it.

In closing, I will address your question regarding individuals who display emotional volatility.

It is often the case that individuals who display heightened emotional responses are those who have experienced past instances of neglect or mistreatment.

If an individual's emotions are consistently disregarded, overlooked, and misunderstood, they may become particularly susceptible to emotional outbursts in interpersonal situations where others fail to acknowledge or comprehend their feelings. This emotional state can be described as a combination of anger and sadness, driven by a sense of frustration at being overlooked or misunderstood.

For instance, individuals who display a proclivity for anger may do so as a means of ensuring that their opinions are heard and respected.

It is also possible that an individual may have experienced significant distress in their family of origin or in other aspects of their life, resulting in the accumulation of unresolved pain. When a similar situation arises, they may experience a flashback to the original trauma, resulting in the reemergence of the pain associated with that event.

Another factor to consider is that individuals who tend to suppress their emotions may be more prone to experiencing them. This is because attempting to conceal them can lead to a stronger urge to express them. It is important to recognize that our emotions require acknowledgment and expression.

If you frequently experience heightened emotional responses, it is important to extend compassion to yourself. This includes recognizing the impact of past experiences, such as neglect, misunderstanding, and a lack of support, which may have contributed to your current emotional state.

In conclusion, I would like to extend my support to the original poster by acknowledging that they were once wronged. To the individual who has experienced trauma: