28, everything has been terrible, standing at the crossroads, without courage

After reading about your childhood, I'd feel unlucky. I've encountered so many unfortunate things.

I feel helpless and disheveled at the crossroads of life. I don't even have the desire to cry!

You are hurt inside, and it's harder to see than an injury outside. It's like someone who has broken a bone: everyone will tell them to rest.

Your family will take care of you. No one knows how sad you are. Sometimes others will add salt to your wounds.

Rest up since you've been injured. Don't fall in love, don't get married, and don't worry about finding a direction to work towards.

You haven't hurt anyone.

Suffering is a constant in life. If you survive early suffering, your life will become easier. Think about your experiences. You have survived them all. Without these experiences, life would be boring. Joking aside, you wouldn't have anything to show your descendants.

If you are injured, rest and take care of yourself. The future is unpredictable.

The I Ching says you have to descend into the abyss to ascend. You're already at the bottom, so gather your strength.

Think about the good things. You can still learn and make a living, which means you can survive and make your own choices.

It's not going well, but it's pretty cool.

If you're not happy today, come and vent. Many people care about your mood and want to help. I want you to know that even though we're strangers, we can empathize and be kind.

I hope to comfort you when you're having a hard time.

Hello, question asker.

If I could, I'd give you a hug to comfort your troubled soul!

It doesn't matter if you're talking about a career, a relationship, or a plan for your life: you're at a crossroads and you don't know which way to go.

I imagine it's a job that's full of anxiety, confusion, and pessimism, right?

You've made a lot of sacrifices and fought a lot of battles on your own. You've also decided to go it alone and not rely on others.

It's really impressive how hard you've worked to get to where you are today.

Your first priority should be to find a way to settle yourself down. If you have a little financial foundation, you might as well take a break.

It might be a good idea to take some time to rest and recuperate. It could be worse to go to work feeling anxious.

If you're in a financial crisis, you need to figure out how to make ends meet first. Even if you first find

No matter what job you can get that pays the bills, you have to get yourself out there.

It's clear you're someone who likes to learn and has read a lot of books. I think the spiritual nourishment in the books

Something that nourishes you and becomes part of your character—something you might not normally think is useful.

Maybe it'll be a game-changer for you in your career or life at some point.

It's also clear that you're perceptive and introspective, and you know that overworking

You've been so busy that you've lost track of time.

If that's the case, you might want to learn from these lessons of failure and use some of your experience to help you achieve your goals.

How can you get the resources you need to drive progress in your life?

If you can still count on others, can you use their support to get through the tough times?

The most important thing you can do right now is to make a good plan for your life.

Let's talk about self-awareness.

1.1 Career Planning

(1) Personality type and characteristics

Write it out according to your own personal characteristics, write it on a piece of paper, and try to describe yourself in a few words.

What kind of person are you?

Take your own personality traits and use them to make an analysis.

(2) Motivation and aspirations

Are you someone who has a strong desire to succeed, or someone who has a low desire to succeed?

This is shown by:

Do you have a strong desire to succeed and are you willing to put in the work?

How would you rate your initiative? Do you jump right in and get the job done after you get a task?

Are you a person of integrity, not greedy for small gains, and not emotional?

Do you have high standards and a strong will to achieve your goals? Do you have a heavy sense of responsibility and won't rest until you reach them?

(3) Interpersonal communication

How does your interpersonal motivation show up in your work?

First, how do you handle relationships with others? Do you work well with others?

Do they keep their distance from friends and stick to their own space?

They also have certain communication skills that help them work well in a team.

(4) Frustration tolerance

You're also very tolerant of frustration. Here are some examples:

Are you the kind of person who keeps going when things get tough? Do you learn from your mistakes and take on challenging tasks?

Are you willing to take the plunge into new and uncertain situations without being afraid of failure?

And see failure and setbacks as great motivators for progress.

Can you manage your emotions well, move on from setbacks quickly, and refocus?

(5) Advantages and disadvantages

What are the advantages?

On the downside,

(6) What kind of job are you suited to?

What's your area of expertise? What professional qualities and skills can help you avoid making the same mistakes again?

On love and marriage:

If you're thinking about rekindling a relationship, what aspects of yourself need to be adjusted? What personality traits are holding you back?

What are the main obstacles to further relationship development?

What about your own communication style or attachment style?

Cognitive model? Level of mentalization?

What about empathy?

All of these things affect how relationships develop.

In closing, I'd like to say to you:

The world is not as rosy as we like to think, but it's also not as bad as we imagine.

I'm counselor Yao, and I'm here to support and care for you!

Despite the challenges, there are still individuals who suggest, "Why not consider meat porridge?" Even if financial resources are limited, there are experts who advise against renting out family property. Even if one is already working diligently, there are still those who encourage pursuing a different venture, such as a ride-hailing business. It's important to recognize that even if one is working hard, others may not fully comprehend the situation.

You are still relatively young, yet you have already encountered a number of significant challenges. These include difficulties within your family, the pain of a romantic relationship, the pressure of slander, and a range of other extreme experiences. These experiences have had a negative impact on your inner energy. You have already demonstrated your desire to improve yourself and become more qualified.

However, you lack the time to devote to this task, and you may also disagree with other people's views. Your performance at work is not meeting expectations, and there are still a lot of struggles and difficulties. Despite our collective knowledge, we still face significant challenges in navigating life's complexities.

Given the potential for change in any number of directions, it is understandable that you would feel uncomfortable and helpless. You have observed many things and have decided not to get married. You feel that it will require too much energy and have a low tolerance for risk. These feelings may be a result of past negative experiences.

I advise that you undertake the requisite meditation training or psychological counseling to stabilize your emotions. You may also wish to consider taking a psychological test on the underlying emotional trauma of a relationship. Some past experiences can also be used to improve and re-evaluate your relationship. Coffee still has a fragrant moment when it is placed in boiling water, and a sword's edge is honed from hardship. I wish you well.

Please advise.

Dear questioner, I'm sending you a big, warm hug! It'll warm you up and me too!

We all face disappointments in life. It's so important to recognize the successes alongside the disappointments, or we can end up suffering. From what the questioner has shared, I can tell that they are a highly motivated, independent, and hardworking person.

Some of our experiences are just too much for us to handle on our own, and that's okay! We all need a little help from our friends sometimes. It's clear that you're looking for some guidance, and I'm here to help. If you're feeling stuck, don't hesitate to reach out to a professional counselor. They can help you navigate your current challenges and gain a better sense of life.

The questioner has been trying to escape from an unpleasant family atmosphere since childhood, from relationships to work. They've been striving to obtain a high level of education, starting a business, and breaking up with a partner. It's clear that there's a part of our interpersonal interactions that needs improvement.

●Interpersonal communication analysis Our inner parents, children, and adults are in a constant state of flux. When our parents and children appear more and more often, we are unable to respond with the right emotions or take the right actions. I suggest that the group leader read the book "Today's Ta" to help you understand this better.

It's really helpful to understand our inner parents and children and to connect with our inner adults. We can use human-computer interaction and communication to work through our uncomfortable inner emotions and heal childhood trauma, which is often called our inner child.

●When we think we are at our worst or worse, in fact, if we hold on a little longer, we will find that the future is actually not that bad. I want to give you all the confidence you need to get through this!

If you're facing some tough times and need a little help getting through them, don't hesitate to reach out for psychological support. They can help you reframe your perceptions, adjust your emotions, and change your behavior in ways that will help you feel better.

Hi, I'm Yingying, your counselor!

I love you, world! And I love you, too!

Hello!

Hug you~ There's absolutely no need to be afraid. We all have our own stories, but we can all relate to the pain, suffering, and endurance experienced during the journey to rebirth. It's totally normal to feel disappointed and angry about past experiences, helpless and fearful about future expectations. These are just the cries of emotions building up inside.

We all have to build our own lives, and the first step is to accept ourselves, warts and all, and then give ourselves a little boost.

How can we possibly find the energy to go on?

Everyone who is experiencing pain wants to find a solution to their problem and free themselves (some people even subconsciously initiate this process). But the more they want to do this, the more anxious they become. They look haggard because they've been lacking energy and an outlet for their emotions for a long time. At this time, they can all discover very clearly that they cannot find the universal solution, and become even more anxious.

It's so easy to ignore our inner feelings, isn't it? We've been doing it for so long that we've become really good at it! But, when we ignore our feelings, we ignore the problem too. And, when the problem arises, it can feel overwhelming. It's like our feelings are at a loss, too! And, we can feel helpless in the face of the problem, which can feel extremely powerful.

Let's say, for instance, that we come across a series of minor issues that can sometimes get our nerves all riled up. We haven't felt this way before, but at this moment, we're feeling especially sensitive and it's hard to accept it. Our emotions are at risk of either exploding or collapsing at any time. But, if someone shows up in our lives who genuinely cares about us, even if it's a cute little animal, and they approach us with affection and try to play with us, it can really help to heal our hearts.

So, life is like a mirror, reflecting different images. If we always see things the same way, we'll only see the same old images. But if we can change our perspective, we'll see a whole new world of possibilities!

Hey there! So, you're at a crossroads. How do you move forward?

Crossroads can be pretty overwhelming, right? It often feels like all roads lead to Rome, but they also seem to lead to places further away from our inner selves, where it is difficult to turn back. The symbolic meaning of the "crossroads" can make us feel pretty complex and uncertain, and therefore a bit anxious.

How do you choose your own future path, my friend?

1. Be kind to yourself and take the time to understand what you truly want.

Many people, standing at a crossroads, will become unusually astute or sensitive. We all want to live our lives to the fullest, and we all have an idea of what we want inside us. It might not be clear yet, but it's there, deep down in everyone's heart. So, when your thoughts are disconnected from this inner image, it can be tough to make a choice. But don't worry, the strength within you will return, helping you to make the choice you have inside you. Just like the original poster, they're beating their own story, and they're feeling a bit hesitant, but gathering energy for themselves.

It might not seem like the perfect choice, but I promise it will help you get to your "ideal country."

2. Take a deep breath and soak in the beauty of life.

When life gets hectic, it's totally okay to take a little break from your usual routine. You can go on that trip you've been dreaming of, try out that restaurant you've always wanted to eat at, take a pottery class to learn a new hobby, or simply relax on the sofa with a good book. It's not about doing something exciting or high-level, but about gaining new experiences, filling your life with positive energy, discovering the beauty around you, and embracing the beauty of life.

It's only when we feel the beauty of life that we're motivated to get involved. If we're constantly encouraged or scolded, we lack the strength to move forward.

3. Learn to grow and mature yourself, my friend.

Once you've had enough time to process everything, it's time to start learning how to grow. The value of experience is that you can use it to nourish your life and turn it into something meaningful. Even the painful experiences you've had with your family, ex-boyfriends, and subsequent partners can teach you something. It's about finding the positive in every situation and using it to your advantage. You're not a victim to your circumstances, you're a survivor! This is the metamorphosis of growth and the beginning of gaining strength.

If you've made it this far, you'll see that everyone needs to take responsibility for their own pain as an adult. This is the only way to stop being a victim in life and to stop letting the pain and hatred inside grow. The way to change is to change our thinking. I need to see my pain and save myself. And the best way to save is to first accept yourself, accept what's passed, and plan more responsibly for your future. This will help you become a more objective and mature self.

I hope you're doing well!

Hello, questioner!

From what you've shared, it's clear you've had a lot of rich experiences. I admire your courage!

But too many setbacks can really affect our self-worth and make us feel powerless. It's okay. I've also experienced learned helplessness. Let's take a look together at what we can learn from our past.

You brought up your parents. The impact of your original family on you is huge. It might take a lifetime to learn to "reconcile" with your parents and with yourself.

▫️You tried to build a close relationship, but your boyfriend cheated on you, and the pressure from some sensationalist media reports also made things difficult for you.

The book Intrinsic Motivation talks about three sources of happiness: autonomy, competence, and a sense of belonging.

Good relationships can give us a lot of spiritual and emotional strength. We may not have had a good family of origin, but we can still build good relationships with others through learning and practice.

This is a given, but we need to be aware of our own inner needs and what kind of behavior we use to satisfy them.

Take it slow and be aware.

▫️You said you've read lots of books, but when things really happen, you're at a loss.

I think it's also important to understand the difference between the subconscious and the conscious. The subconscious reacts much faster than the conscious. When we're faced with familiar situations and relationships, our brain will react quickly based on past experiences, which is why you say, "When things really happen, they are so overwhelming."

If we don't catch our mistakes and fix them, we might make the same ones again.

▫️So is this situation really impossible to change? Absolutely not.

If we want to learn one of the movements in a dance, playing it twice as fast may still be too fast for beginners. So what should we do?

Take your time and practice often. When you slow down, your brain can better understand the movement. And when you watch and practice repeatedly, the movement becomes part of your subconscious.

If something has already happened, we can look back and see how it really happened based on our memories. Why did we react that way at the time?

Every action and emotion you have is a way of hiding your true inner needs.

There's no such thing as good or bad when it comes to needs. They just need to be met and responded to. What makes us feel distressed and unable to face and accept is often the inappropriate ways and methods we use to respond to and meet our inner needs.

Gain inner strength

▫️I've experienced learned helplessness myself. When a task is more difficult than you can handle, there's a higher chance of failure. But that doesn't mean you're incapable. It just means you're not ready to tackle that particular task.

However, after experiencing a lot of failures, this can really knock our confidence. So it might be a good idea to start with small things, lower our expectations, and do things that we can handle or even do well with a little effort. And think about why this was possible.

What are the objective and subjective factors? First, gradually build up your self-confidence and find a sense of success.

If you can, it's a good idea to look for professional psychological counseling. It can be really helpful to have someone else there to give you a boost.

In my day-to-day, some of the more effective strategies I've employed in the past are:

First, record your thoughts in a diary.

Second, talk to friends or strangers to get your thoughts in order and hear other people's opinions.

I'll also be including some useful methods in the book that I'll be applying in my own life.

④ Don't act on impulse when something comes up. Meditation is also a great way to stay aware.

I'm a bit of a blank slate, but I love the world and I love you! Thanks for reading!

My dear, the past was challenging, and you have experienced significant difficulties. You have demonstrated resilience through hard work, academic pursuits, business ventures, and a dedication to living your life to the fullest. You possess courage and strength. While you may feel your strength has been depleted, it has likely also grown. If it has not grown, where did you find the strength to face failure repeatedly?

Despite repeated setbacks, you have the resilience to keep trying and to start over. You possess a unique inner strength that enables you to persevere through challenges.

Life is full of disappointments. It is possible that you observe others as happy, but they were only happy at the time you observed them. It is likely that everyone has their own set of disappointments, which you have not yet encountered. It is possible that the next opportunity for happiness is just around the corner.

It is widely understood that everyone experiences challenges and difficulties in life. However, it is important to recognize that others may not have faced the same struggles, nor can they fully empathize with your pain or make decisions on your behalf. Fortunately, you have demonstrated resilience and strength in facing these challenges. Your presence here is a testament to your determination and resilience. Thank you for sharing your experiences and inspiring others to persevere through adversity.

It is important to recognize that people are often inclined to see things in a way that aligns with their expectations. For instance, if you believe that you cannot receive assistance from others, you may unintentionally limit the support available to you. Regardless of your current decision, whether it is to remain single or to pursue a romantic relationship, it is acceptable. These outcomes are not immediate, and there is no need to rush them. Instead, focus on your present circumstances, your physical condition, your surroundings, and the factors that contribute to your happiness, strength, and interests.

It is a well-known fact that life is difficult and that we will all eventually leave this world. Therefore, it is important to challenge ourselves, embrace new experiences, let go of expectations, prioritize sleep and nutrition, and approach each task with dedication and focus, without dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about the future. It is natural to reflect on the past, but it is essential to recognize when it is time to refocus on the present. By paying attention to and accepting ourselves in the present moment, we can cultivate self-love and resilience.

You will find strength in books. You may wish to consider reading some books on positive thinking and psychology. When you are unable to contain your emotions, you may wish to call a helpline, arrange to meet with a friend, or speak with a counselor. There are always solutions to problems.

Life is always full of problems, one after the other, and we always solve one and take a step forward. Each problem solved is an asset that no one else has. In the future, there will only be fewer and fewer problems and more and more happiness, until you walk out of the gloom and into the sunshine.

My name is Liu Yong. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that the world and I love you.