36 years old, married, no children, never had children, feel like life is meaningless?

Hello. Give yourself a hug. You have worked hard and endured a lot. If you feel that the chaos in your life is caused by not having a child, then let's solve the problem of having a child.

First, you and your husband should go to a top-level hospital for a check-up to see if there is anything wrong with your health. It's not just you who should be taking tests and taking medicine; your husband should go too. Second, if there is nothing wrong with your health, the possible reason for not being able to conceive a baby is your mood and state of mind. If you can afford it, you should go on a trip for a while to relax in a better environment. Third, you can go straight to in vitro fertilization if your physical condition allows. The technology is very mature now, and many people around you want a baby.

Once you've sorted it out, you'll see that most of life's troubles are caused by not having children. Traditional Chinese values are quite deep-rooted. Most people feel that they are missing out if they don't have children, and parents definitely want you to have children.

It's normal that you can't convince yourself of this idea, so don't try. Tell yourself, "I accept you and I want a child." This is a very normal idea.

Your husband must also be looking forward to having a child, and the two of you can calmly have a good chat. You don't know what it's like to not have a child.

Everything has two sides. You decide which side you focus on. Don't say you've suffered workplace violence and depression.

.

You have already overcome it, and you deserve a better life. You are in a much better situation than someone who is severely depressed and unable to work, or someone who doesn't have a job.

Hello, dear questioner!

Hello! I'm Mr. Yao, a psychoanalytic counselor on this platform.

If it's okay with you, I'd love to give you a big hug to comfort your heart, which is feeling so anxious and confused right now. I know you're feeling helpless and close to despair, and I'm here to help.

From what you've shared in your post, it seems like you're an unmarried woman at an advanced age who is struggling with depression. It also seems like the treatments you've tried for infertility, including medication and doctor visits, haven't been as effective as you'd hoped.

It's so hard when you're feeling disappointed and depressed, and even lose the meaning and value of life in the future and in life, and want to end the idea of having children.

I can imagine how you must be feeling. It's so hard to convince yourself, and you're worried about not being able to tell your husband. It's totally understandable that you're feeling torn and consumed by internal conflict.

From a traditional ethical perspective, there are three kinds of unfilial conduct, and the greatest of these is not having any descendants. In an authoritarian culture, if a woman is unable to bear children,

I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now. It's so hard when you're going through a crisis of self-worth, so I want you to know that you're not alone.

I'm not sure about your physical condition, given how long you've been dealing with depression and infertility.

Let's not focus on the biological reasons why women of childbearing age aren't pregnant. Instead, let's look at it from a more dynamic perspective:

First, we have the "original sin" brought about by the parent-child relationship in the original family.

If a child has a very tense relationship with their parents and has suffered serious domestic violence at an early age, it can be really tough for them. It's like their subconscious mind is retaliating against their parents by not wanting to have children or get pregnant.

And they might even take revenge on their parents!

And the second thing is worries about the role of mother.

If someone is worried about the changes that having a baby will bring and thinks they might not be ready to be a mum, it's totally normal.

It's totally normal to have doubts about your role as a mother. These doubts can sometimes cause subconscious conflicts that make it harder for you to feel the desire or take the right steps to have children.

And last but not least, we have the conflict caused by the demanding image and body standards of women of childbearing age.

If you're always worrying about how your pregnancy, childbirth, and raising a child will affect you, and you're concerned that childbirth will cause your body to go out of shape,

And then, sadly, the subconscious will also suppress the desire to have children.

And last but not least, the impact of an unhappy childhood can also play a part.

If someone is born into an unfortunate family and grows up in an unstable and disharmonious environment,

When you reach childbearing age, you might be going through a bit of a transitional period, worrying about raising children.

It's also possible that you might worry that your children won't be well cared for, which could make you feel like you don't want to have any more.

And last but not least, the Oedipus complex.

If an individual has a special bond with their dad in their early years and still has some unresolved feelings,

If there are problems, then the individual may feel that pregnancy means betrayal of the father when they grow up and give birth, which

And it can get in the way of normal reproductive motivation.

I just wanted to let you know that the above theory is only based on theoretical assumptions and is not an absolute truth.

The reproductive role is a really complex social issue that's affected by lots of different things, like physical health and the social environment.

There are so many different factors at play here! Economic status, personal views on marriage and childbearing, and so much more. It's just not possible to make any kind of generalisation.

I just wanted to circle back to your post and suggest that if you really want a baby of your own, you might want to think about how to...

It's so important to adjust your emotions. Fluctuating emotions can make it really difficult to get pregnant. You might also want to consider traditional Chinese medicine.

In terms of treatment, from the large number of cases I've had the pleasure of seeing, traditional Chinese medicine has proven to be a little more reliable than Western medicine for infertility.

Of course, the most important thing is to try to adjust your mentality so that you can face any future changes with an ordinary heart.

Throughout this journey, it's so important to remember to take care of yourself and consider what resources can support you.

I'll be here for you at 17psych.com, cheering you on and keeping an eye out for you. You've got this!

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope you find this information useful. Kind regards,

After carefully reviewing your description, I empathize with your situation and wish to extend a supportive gesture. I hope you can perceive some warmth and assistance. It's possible that, at this juncture, having children is not your primary focus, and instead, prioritizing self-care and inner balance is more crucial. When your physical and mental well-being is enhanced, it will positively impact the child. Furthermore, when your state is optimized, you may find that having a child naturally aligns with your needs. While you currently desire a child at the conscious level, it's possible that your subconscious may hold a different inclination. This discrepancy could be a reflection of a conflict between your conscious and subconscious minds. You can clarify what having a child means to you and identify the needs it can fulfill. Can this be resolved through the act of having a child?

You may gain a deeper insight into your own character.

I advise you to:

The first step to ensuring your physical and mental wellbeing is to prioritise your physical and mental health.

From your description, it seems that your current physical condition is not optimal. You mentioned that your mood has recently become less positive. If you are unable to adjust it yourself, it is recommended that you seek the assistance of a professional psychologist. There is no obligation to take medication; counseling is also an option. In fact, if the condition is more serious, medication alone may not be sufficient. Instead, it requires adjuvant treatment with psychological counseling to help us relieve emotions, adjust cognition, gain inner strength, and grow. At the same time, you can also use some effective psychological methods to heal yourself, such as keeping a daily mood diary, practicing mindfulness meditation, relieving stress and releasing pressure through exercise, reducing anxiety through walks in the forest, etc., and finding the right person to talk to for understanding and support. Emotions need to be channeled and expressed, not suppressed all the time. When emotions can flow, you will gain physical and mental relaxation.

2. With regard to the matter of having children, it would be advisable to ascertain the type of needs you believe a child can fulfill for you. Furthermore, it would be prudent to determine whether this is the sole need that can be met by having a child. If you do indeed have a child, it would be important to assess whether this will enable you to achieve your desired state of happiness.

You have indicated that you hope to have a baby and believe that you will be very happy. It appears that you are basing your happiness on having a child. Of course, children are a gift of life, and for mothers, they can feel a special happiness. However, we must also consider the challenges that parenting presents. If our inner state is not adjusted well, we may still have some restrictive beliefs and encounter obstacles that prevent us from relaxing and being happy. Even if we have a child, we may not necessarily achieve that state. We can identify the needs we believe a child will satisfy and determine whether such needs can only be met by having a child.

If there are currently no children, can I achieve my own level of happiness? Is it feasible for us to reach a point where I can enjoy life regardless of whether I have children?

3. It is crucial for you to learn and practice self-acceptance, regardless of whether you have children or not, and regardless of your circumstances. When you can accept yourself, you can relax and improve continuously.

From your description, it seems that your happiness is contingent on a particular set of circumstances. I can relate to this feeling, as I previously limited myself in a similar way. When I did not have a child, I also felt that it would be beneficial to have one. Then, when I had a child, I felt that it was not a complete situation, and that it would be advantageous to have another daughter. However, I was unable to become pregnant with a second child, and through subconscious painting analysis, I discovered that in my subconscious mind, I had no motivation to have a second child. Once I understood my true intentions, I gradually let go of the matter of having a second child. Even when faced with other people's gossip and expectations, I was able to understand myself, make my own choices, and accept the consequences of my choices. I accepted my true state of life, and thus no longer felt constrained.

I have numerous acquaintances who exemplify this profile. They have consistently aspired to become parents and have pursued a multitude of avenues, including injections, medication, and in vitro fertilization. Despite their efforts, they remained unable to conceive for an extended period. However, when they relinquished their fixation and recognized the possibility of a fulfilling life without children, they became pregnant shortly thereafter. When individuals can genuinely accept themselves, their imperfections, the inherent limitations in life, and the reality that perfection is unattainable, they are less prone to enduring distress. Acceptance fosters relaxation. It is not about ceasing actions; it is about aligning with reality and striving while accepting it, allowing natural processes to unfold. This approach fosters a more positive outlook.

Please refer to the above for your information. Best regards,

Hi, I'm happy to answer your question and hope my suggestions are helpful.

The issue you're facing is actually two problems, and we need to distinguish between them and address them separately.

First of all, when it comes to depression,

Depression can be split into two types: psychological and physical.

If it's a physiological depression, we should follow the doctor's advice and take medication or other medical treatment. It's like having a high fever, up to 40 degrees. You can't recover health by yourself. You need to take antipyretics or medicine and an intravenous infusion.

If it's psychological depression, we also need to consider how severe it is. Given your current situation, it's still a good idea to get professional help to figure things out and make adjustments. Even at a certain level, it's also important to get a doctor's advice to see if medication is needed.

Depression can affect both your mental and physical health. Even if it's a psychosomatic depression, you might still have some physical symptoms due to the serious impact it has on your body. These can be treated with medication.

The second reason is that we want a child.

This could be because our bodies aren't in the best shape, so we haven't been able to have a baby yet. Or it could be because of our illness, which has messed with our hormones or our physical condition. Or it could be because of our age—our fertility might be on the decline, making it tougher to have a baby than it would be for someone younger.

It's also important to remember that having a baby is not something that one person can do alone. It involves the partner, so it's essential for both the husband and wife to work together.

I'd suggest that the couple get some tests done together, especially ones related to fertility. Then, they can choose the treatment that works best for them, whether it's Western medicine or Chinese medicine.

Finally, these two aspects affect each other because they are both our own bodies. So, it's important to communicate with the doctor and inform both attending physicians of our current demands or our current physical condition. This is because drugs can also affect each other. Sometimes, when taking one type of medicine, you cannot take another type. The doctor needs to know our situation in great detail before they can make a better judgment and provide a better treatment plan.

I hope that with some self-reflection and the help of professionals, you can find the right way to adjust to your needs.

I love you all!

Good morning,

A kind gesture like a pat on the shoulder can go a long way.

"A 36-year-old married person without children, who feels that life is meaningless?

After experiencing a number of challenging situations, including workplace violence, depressive moods due to illness, and frustration in marriage, in addition to many other emotions that may not be immediately apparent, you may feel a sense of disappointment.

Emotions can be influenced by external factors to a great extent, which can sometimes make it challenging to find a sense of equilibrium in our lives. When this happens, it can lead to feelings of meaninglessness and a tendency to dwell on negative thoughts, which in some cases might even manifest as depression.

It is worth noting, however, that if negative emotions are allowed to persist, they can have a detrimental impact on work and life, as well as on the quality of interpersonal relationships.

For instance, I feel that those around me may not fully comprehend my situation. Despite my desire for communication and understanding, I find that they are reluctant to engage in conversation. Relatives, friends, and partners may not possess the necessary insight to provide the understanding and assistance I require, which can intensify my feelings of personal helplessness and loneliness.

It is therefore important to maintain a positive sense of self-confidence when facing challenges or difficulties, as emotions and behaviors often interact with each other. By understanding emotions and learning to manage them effectively, we can better care for ourselves and meet our needs in a more satisfying way.

If I am able to achieve satisfactory results in the workplace and in terms of physical health, I will have the energy and ability to seek outside help, such as seeking help from family members and partners, for example. If I am not able to achieve satisfactory results in the workplace and in terms of physical health, I may have a negative evaluation of myself and a low self-esteem. When I confide in them about the emotional troubles that bother me, although sometimes the problems cannot be completely resolved, I will feel emotionally understood and comforted.

At the age of 36, a period of multiple role transitions, the pressures encountered in life and work can be significant. It is therefore important to find someone who can do everything to the best of their ability. We need to learn to clearly perceive the objective environment, and for new problems or challenges, we also need to have a fresh integration of resources.

It is important to remember that issues between partners, such as having children, are not solely the responsibility of one individual. It is essential that both partners share the pressure and effort involved. It is also worth noting that maintaining a positive and peaceful mindset is beneficial for the mother-to-be's chances of getting pregnant.

It is worth noting that excessive mental worry and emotional stress may not be conducive to pregnancy. This could also potentially affect the body during intimacy. It may therefore be helpful to seek the support and help of partners when facing problems in intimate relationships.

In the case of frustrations at work and physical concerns, it may be helpful to reflect on previous experiences and abilities in order to identify useful experiences and retain valuable insights. In some instances, seeking the guidance of a professional counselor or doctor may be beneficial for healing from an illness. A doctor can provide a clearer understanding of the problem and assist in releasing and guiding negative emotions.

It is important to remember that we can always rely on ourselves. When we are faced with challenges that we cannot overcome alone, it is helpful to learn to understand our emotions and seek support from others. This can help us to navigate difficult situations more effectively.

I hope my answer is helpful to you in some way.

Wishing you the best!