39 years old, my baby is 8 months old, is the workplace like a battlefield? I keep wanting to run away.

That's a great question.

New mothers also have to deal with the challenges of the workplace, and they can do it.

The phrase "you also need to prepare for the industry's qualification exam" shows that there are some high-quality resources.

There are various barriers to entering a profession. The questioner is already in the profession and has identified a way to overcome burnout: a round of qualification exams.

Absolutely. There is a way to look at this with a positive mindset and see it as an opportunity.

The leader and colleagues' actions make the questioner feel very uncomfortable.

The poster deserves respect and recognition for the value of their position.

If you're too easily recognized, you'll fall harder in the future. If you polish your achievements constantly, you'll definitely shine.

As a mother and an independent woman, you need a stable personality to support your self-growth and child education.

So, whenever you start to doubt yourself, remember this:

I want to know exactly what I'm afraid of and why.

I will find ways to alleviate fear, anxiety, and self-deprecation.

I know I've been through a lot, but I've learned a lot along the way. I've come out the other side stronger than before. I am great.

Greetings,

Fortunately, I am able to offer some counsel.

I would like to begin by congratulating you on the birth of your son, who is now eight months old. It is, however, important to recognise that this period of new motherhood is characterised by significant psychological fluctuations and changes.

From a relatively comfortable position at the outset, to a period of absence from the workplace, and now a return to this position, it is inevitable that a certain degree of discomfort will be experienced.

Now that you have been back in your position for three months, you find that you are still not very comfortable with the job. Due to the nature of the work, you are required to organize the team on a regular basis to learn and discuss technical issues. Additionally, you are assigned the task of searching for information and preparing it for the team.

From the initial configuration of your role and responsibilities, does it appear that your team has addressed your current circumstances, which is why you were tasked with locating information?

It may be the case that you feel that, due to the necessity of being flexible with regard to time, you are able to locate information at times that are not scheduled. As a result, you are presented with this related content.

However, one's ability to locate pertinent information is not optimal, and the discussion of related technical issues can be somewhat overwhelming. There is a sense of searching for information that does not fully align with one's actual circumstances, particularly in the context of caring for a child and a family. There is a certain degree of internal challenge.

Furthermore, after searching for information, one must then explain it. Additionally, the leader's expression conveys a lack of satisfaction, which leads to the perception that one's efforts are not recognized. This, in turn, results in self-blame for perceived deficiencies in one's abilities. Given the nearly year-long absence from the position, it is understandable that one's performance may be perceived as slightly diminished. This may result in the loss of some previously acquired skills. This situation can evoke feelings of panic and uncertainty.

It is therefore necessary to consider this situation in a rational and objective manner. It is possible that your team has acted in your best interests by assigning you the task of preparing the materials.

In the event that an individual identifies a skill or task that they are not proficient in or have limited experience with, it is recommended that they propose an alternative plan of action when the tasks are assigned at the beginning of the team meeting.

It may be beneficial to discuss with your colleagues whether you could delegate the task of information gathering to other team members and attempt a different approach. As a team leader, it is also your responsibility to ensure that tasks are distributed in a reasonable and fair manner to your subordinates. This process can serve as an opportunity for you to assess and develop your ability to plan and manage tasks effectively.

In light of our inability to adequately prepare the preliminary information, we propose assuming a different responsibility, which may address your current concerns.

The leader's frequent interruptions and tendency to assign other individuals to speak may indicate a lack of satisfaction with the contributions being made. However, this does not necessarily imply that the individual's performance is deficient. Rather, it suggests a discrepancy between the leader's expectations and the group's actual output.

It would be erroneous to assume that the leader's thoughts are always entirely accurate. However, it is possible that the content in question was not fully comprehended by the leader, resulting in the selection of an alternative candidate. Given that we have recently resumed our duties, the leader will likely be well-acquainted with the subject matter and discussions that transpired in the group and during meetings.

Furthermore, it is essential to adapt to the leader's style when joining a new group. The rationale behind the leader's interruption may be to facilitate exercise during meetings while also encouraging integration and knowledge acquisition about the current operating model. In this context, the leader may allow other individuals to report and listen to you.

In light of these considerations, it is imperative that we approach this situation in a rational manner.

In such a case, one's personal abilities are of a high quality. Consequently, when reporting, one endeavors to showcase one's abilities, including any skills that may not be immediately apparent.

However, the leader's interruption may lead to self-doubt regarding one's abilities and perceived lack of satisfaction with one's performance.

Such thoughts may lead to feelings of discouragement and self-doubt, prompting the question of whether one's hidden skills are truly inadequate or if the industry is not a suitable fit.

In light of the aforementioned considerations, it may be prudent to re-examine the suitability of one's current position and industry. It is essential to ascertain whether these remain aligned with one's long-term aspirations and personal interests.

Furthermore, it would be beneficial to conduct a comparative analysis between one's pre-pregnancy and current work roles. It is crucial to acknowledge and accept the changes that have occurred. After all, practice makes perfect.

It is not uncommon to experience a decline in abilities during this period; therefore, it is unnecessary to become overly concerned. It is essential to identify the specific areas that require improvement and implement the necessary adjustments.

Moreover, you have formulated plans for pursuing a career in the industry, as evidenced by your preparation for the qualification exam. This indicates that you still have a strong interest in the industry. However, it is crucial to re-evaluate the strategies and mindset you employ to navigate your current circumstances.

Furthermore, the addition of a new life to one's family necessitates a reorganization of personal, life, and developmental plans.

Furthermore, you are currently contemplating the preparation for the forthcoming examination, yet you are experiencing difficulties in recalling certain elements of the curriculum. It is unlikely that you should be unduly concerned about this, given that a pronounced decline in hormonal levels is typical following pregnancy, which may have an adverse effect on your emotional state and cognitive abilities. However, this can be effectively addressed through a combination of daily health maintenance and memorization practice.

In light of the prevailing circumstances, it is imperative to first consider one's own life trajectory, secondly to assess the necessity for alterations to one's career plan, and thirdly to evaluate the implications of interactions with one's superiors. As long as meticulous preparation is undertaken, even if performance is not optimal, the result will be a demonstration of genuine capability. Continuous improvement is the key. Finally, there are the managerial issues within one's team and the role and task allocations for one's personnel.

It is my hope that through your continued adjustments in these areas, you will be able to achieve a more harmonious work-life balance.

I wish you the utmost success.

Hi, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun. I'm here to support you with warmth and listen to your emotional story with sincerity.

I can see you're feeling a bit conflicted. You're returning to the workplace, facing new challenges, and dealing with higher expectations from your leaders and normal competition among colleagues. It's a lot to take on, and it's making you feel overwhelmed and even like they're being hypocritical.

It can be really discouraging when you've put in the work and prepared carefully, but your leader still doesn't recognize or appreciate your efforts. It can make you doubt yourself and start to feel negative about your abilities.

Let's start with a warm hug and then take a look at what's on your mind.

Everyone wants to be seen, affirmed, and accepted. But when a leader rejects you (interrupts you and lets someone else speak), it makes you feel pretty worthless and like you're incompetent.

?1. Self-acceptance

When we're criticized, rejected, or accused by others, it can lead to self-doubt and self-negation, which is really just a lack of self-acceptance.

A person's self-worth is based on their own perception of themselves, not on what others think.

If parents are quick to criticize, deny, and accuse us when we're young, it can start to shape our own self-perception. It's easy to feel undervalued, become overly sensitive, and have a fragile ego, which can lead to low self-esteem.

On the other hand, kids who are often praised and recognized by their parents tend to have a high sense of self-worth and show great confidence.

Confidence is having faith in yourself as a person and not letting self-doubt or self-deprecation get in the way because of what you've done wrong or what you're unable to do.

One simple way to boost your sense of worth is to give yourself positive feedback, affirmations, praise, and acceptance on a regular basis.

You can check out my article, "The Root of Psychological Problems Is Actually..." to learn more about how our sense of value affects us and how we can improve it.

2. Self-adjustment

Mothers who are also working women need to learn how to balance their family and work lives.

Your anxiety also comes from your ability to balance these two things. You need to be aware of what's going on.

Be aware of your worries and fears. Speak up about them, and they'll automatically be halved.

People are focused on the positive, which can make us anxious and impatient. We focus more on what's outside ourselves than what's inside. At the same time, we become more sensitive to people and things around us.

Here's a suggestion:

1. Get out there and communicate more!

It's important to communicate with your family. They're there for you, so use them as a support system. If you're feeling frustrated or emotional, talk to your family and partner about how you're feeling and listen to their advice. Just sharing your desire to take care of your children and run a successful business with them is a great way to heal.

Talk to your boss. Give them a regular update on what you're doing. Share your thoughts and feelings, but also listen to what they have to say. Communication isn't about pushing your own agenda or trying to "change" the other person.

The goal is to find common ground and communicate in a way that's open and honest.

Find out what exactly your leader dislikes about you, and whether it is simply your work or other factors. Sometimes, leaders really like it when you communicate honestly, so don't expect them to read your mind.

2. Self-care:

You can develop your ability to be mindful and love yourself, and boost your heart's energy through meditation, so you have more motivation to devote to your work and life every day.

Work is just one part of life. When you come up against a problem, take a step back and look at it from a distance. That's the role of "awareness." Seeing is the first step to making a change, and seeing gives you the right to choose.

Shift your focus from what's going on around you and the other person to what's going on with you and your inner world. Boost your self-confidence, and as your sense of worth increases, you'll find that negative comments from others don't matter as much.

I'd also suggest reading "Being a Working Woman" and "Growing for Life," as well as watching "The Devil Wears Prada" and "Du Lala Rising." Confident women are attractive and competitive, but they also have to be open to learning.

I hope these tips are useful for you. Have a great day! ?

If you want to keep in touch, just click "Find a coach" in the top right or bottom of the page. I'll be in touch and we can work together one-on-one.

Hello!

I'm a mindfulness coach. Learning is a treasure.

From your description, I can tell you're anxious, irritable, tired, and overwhelmed.

I won't go into returning to work after having a baby, but I have three pieces of advice:

First, try to understand yourself and comfort yourself.

It will make you feel better and help you think about what to do next.

You're 30, your baby is 8 months old, and you've been back at work for 3 months. You're not used to your new situation and are anxious and self-doubting. This is understandable because many mothers who return to work after having a baby are not used to their new situation. From preparing for pregnancy to giving birth, mothers have devoted a lot of time and energy to these tasks. After giving birth, hormones change, which may cause emotional fluctuations. Try to understand yourself, comfort yourself, and "see" that anxious, self-doubting, but temporarily at a loss for what to do, and impatient self. This will give you mental energy to think about other things. Otherwise, your mind will be filled with negative emotions.

If you accept yourself, you can change the situation. It may sound strange, but it's true. Change is based on acceptance.

Secondly, think about your own state.

Rational thinking helps you understand yourself and reality.

To look at it rationally, do these two things:

You'll know if you're suited to the job when you've put in the effort.

You can give yourself time to try and then decide if this is the right career for you.

You can change the situation.

When you take the initiative, you'll naturally change. So will your attitude toward work and your feelings about it.

When you think about it like this, some of your negative feelings might go away.

Focus on yourself and think about how you can feel better.

When you think about your situation, you can figure out what to do. Then, you focus on yourself and try your best to do a good job.

If you doubt yourself, remind yourself that many mothers find it difficult to return to work. Your mood will likely become more stable when you remind yourself in this positive way.

You can also remind yourself that you have time to improve. When you learn to view yourself as a developing person, you will feel better. Look at the advantages you have.

You can accept that you cannot change your shortcomings for now and focus on what you can change. For example, if you have a poor memory, you should examine why. You should also examine the areas your boss is dissatisfied with you and make changes. This may also improve your mood. After you have invested time and energy in making changes, you will know whether you are suited to this career.

You can also talk with your family, especially your husband. This can help you feel better. They can also support you and give you advice. This can help you change.

Taking action helps you feel better.

I hope this helps. Click "Find a coach" at the bottom to talk one-on-one.

It's totally normal to feel a bit out of your depth when you've only been back at work for three months. It's a type of work that requires constant learning and discussion of technology, which can be a bit daunting. But you've got this!

Pregnancy and childbirth are huge life changes for women. They impact not just our bodies, but our whole lives. Our living environments and priorities shift, and we often don't realize it until we look back on our experiences.

And neuroscience research has shown us something really interesting! It turns out that our brains are like muscles. If we use them often, they get stronger and more powerful. But if we don't use them much, they slowly start to weaken.

The common saying "three years of idiocy after pregnancy" is actually a lighthearted way of saying that it's totally normal to feel a bit rusty after being out of practice for a while. It's not that you're not smart, it's just that you've been out of the loop for a while and are just getting back into the swing of things.

"Every time I'm assigned a task, I do my research and get ready," which shows that you are trying very hard to adapt to your new job and new workplace identity. You're doing great!

It's so frustrating when the leader is not satisfied with your contributions and always interrupts you to let someone else speak. Not only does this increase the pressure and frustration you're already facing after returning to work, but it also makes it seem like the leader can't bear to listen to you speak. This can make you feel ashamed and frustrated, which is totally understandable!

I'm not sure if the leader is using this approach to "show you how it's done" or if they want to "replace" you with someone else. It seems like they're trying to show that "another person" might be more suitable than you for the position of "substitute team leader."

"Some of the people under me help out, but most of them only show their true colors when the boss is around. This situation could be a normal manifestation of workplace competition, or it could also be due to the questioner's own projection.

I totally get it. After everything that's happened, it's only natural to feel anxious and doubt yourself. And it's okay to wonder if you're right for the job. The text says you're the "substitute team leader," and your performance isn't meeting your leader's expectations. But that doesn't mean you're not qualified to be an ordinary member of staff!

"Your brain just can't remember. It's not that you can't remember, it's more likely that you're a bit rusty. This just requires the questioner to give himself some time to adapt, which I'm sure he'll do in no time!"

The questioner says he's 39 years old in the title, but in the content he says he's 30. This shows he's feeling a bit anxious, so anxious that he got his own age wrong! But it could also show how he currently feels, that he feels he's 39, not 30.

If the "substitute team leader" is causing the questioner a lot of anxiety, pressure, and distress, it might be a good idea for the questioner to temporarily "take a step back," discuss it with the leader, remove the position of substitute team leader for the time being, and just be an ordinary staff member. The leader can then appoint the questioner when the conditions are right.

I really think this could be a great option for you, your child, and your leader. As your child grows up, the hardworking questioner will absolutely excel. He just needs to take a little break from some things for now.

We all have limited energy, after all!

I really hope my reply has been helpful! I'm sending you lots of love and best wishes!

Do you feel frustrated now? Do you lack self-confidence?

You're questioning your abilities and choices.

You're questioning your abilities and choices.

You felt anxious and at a loss.

You felt anxious and at a loss.

Your baby is eight months old and may just be starting to recognize strangers, which is also a time when they particularly need their mother. I imagine you are also under a lot of pressure with childcare. Do you have family members to help out?

Your baby is eight months old, and you suspect that he may just be starting to recognize strangers, which is a time when babies especially need their mothers. You must be feeling a lot of pressure with childcare, right? Do you have family members to help out?

You have been appointed acting team leader. You are expected to be very conscientious and responsible at work, which is why you have gained the recognition of your leader. It's just that now, every time you are assigned a task, you have already looked up the information and made preparations. However, every time you give a presentation, the leader is not satisfied and always interrupts to arrange for someone else to give the presentation. At that time, you should have felt particularly frustrated and unappreciated.

You have become a temporary team leader. You must also be very conscientious and responsible at work, which is why you have gained the recognition of your leader. However, now, every time you are assigned a task, you have already researched the information and made preparations. Yet, every time you give a presentation, the leader is not satisfied and always interrupts and assigns someone else to give the presentation. At that time, did you feel particularly frustrated and unappreciated?

At the same time, you felt humiliated and ashamed.

Do you feel that you lack management skills, that you are not recognized by your subordinates, and that you are powerless? Do you already doubt whether you are suited to this job? If so, you need to take control of the situation.

You wrote "39 years old" in the title and "30 years old" in the text. I'm guessing the 30-year-old you has already developed a 39-year-old mentality.

You have to be a good mother at home and a good employee and team leader at work. It's not easy, but you can do it!

So now, back to you at 30, you need to give yourself permission.

You must allow yourself to learn slowly, grow slowly, rest, and play relaxed.

At the same time, you must adjust your mindset to an adult state at work. If you encounter a situation where your leader "assigns someone else to speak," you can allow yourself to feel frustrated and anxious, accept your emotions and feelings, and at the same time, focus on the matter at hand. This is an opportunity to learn from someone who is more experienced than you.

Listen carefully to this person and see if they speak better than you.

Listen carefully to this person and see if they speak better than you.

Listen carefully to this person and see if they speak better than you.

What are the positives here? What can you learn from this?

How will you improve and surpass him?

Every setback is an opportunity to learn and improve. You have to fail and make mistakes to grow.

"Everything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"

Everything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Take your time! You can do this.

Take your time! Allow yourself to take your time!