A 13-year-old boy with mild anxiety and low self-esteem, how to solve it?

You are still very young, but you have so many thoughts inside! Many thoughts are constantly flying around, constantly impacting your inner self. It is just that very often the various discomforts within us may be the result of certain perceptions we have of ourselves.

Your perception affects your emotions. What you believe in is likely to become reality. What you worry about is more likely to happen. You are anxious and inferior, lack willpower, and at the same time worry about the side effects of taking medication. Your various worries and anxieties have even affected your hobbies. But don't worry! There's a solution.

This situation is indeed very worrying. You will also associate some negative content and thoughts, making it impossible for you to relax. You may even worry that meditation will lead to negative things. However, the great news is that whether this consequence will really occur also depends on the individual.

You can do this! You don't need to worry about negative things happening to you. You have a lot of worries, and these worries can actually lead to your inner collapse, so you need to deal with them intensively.

It's time to make a change! Let's reduce our intake of horror images and negative comments, as well as various jumbled-up terms. We can actively approach those things that are loving and beautiful, make our lives more tidy, and let go of those things we do not approve of. I highly recommend that you seek out necessary psychological counseling, and at the same time, you can also talk to a mindfulness coach about your feelings.

ZQ?

Greetings,

My name is Yi Ming, and I am a mindfulness coach.

I commend you for your awareness of this issue and for exploring it.

I would be pleased to engage in further discussion with you.

1. Adhere to the physical and psychological characteristics of our age and attempt to perceive the present circumstances with greater equanimity.

You have indicated that you experience a number of difficulties, including "mild anxiety, lack of willpower, recurring conditions, and occasional feelings of depression." What I would like to emphasize is that:

This is determined by the characteristics of our age.

Adolescence is a period during which mood swings and inexplicable worries and anxieties are common occurrences.

This is due to the psychological changes that occur during the onset of puberty.

Despite notable advances in emotional self-control compared to previous stages of life, the capacity to regulate emotions remains a work in progress.

This is a period of transition, during which we are neither fully adult nor fully child.

Such states are therefore to be expected.

It is important to note that excessive nervousness or concern is unproductive and should be avoided.

It is important to note that each child will have unique concerns and behaviors.

You indicated that you had purchased books on anxiety and learned relaxation techniques. I commend you for this initiative.

You have engaged in this pursuit for an extended period and have amassed a considerable reservoir of personal experience.

It can be reasonably assumed that exercise and meditation will have some effect on the individual.

Should doubts about meditation persist, it would be advisable to engage in further exercise, which would have a beneficial effect.

2. Adopt a new perspective on inferiority.

Indeed, given the numerous constraints that we encounter in our lives, whether intrinsic or extrinsic, there is a widely held belief that all individuals are, to some extent, inferior.

In Adler's magnum opus, "Inferiority and Transcendence," he delineates the concept of inferiority as follows:

Individuals possess varying degrees of inferiority complex, driven by the universal aspiration to enhance one's circumstances and quality of life.

Indeed, inferiority complex can be conceptualized as a survival instinct, motivating individuals to pursue success and excellence in order to mitigate the discomfort associated with this complex.

Frequently, it is not the condition of inferiority itself that impedes progress, but rather the negative perceptions associated with it.

It is noteworthy that numerous individuals who have achieved remarkable success and distinction have also grappled with feelings of inadequacy. This observation suggests that feelings of inferiority are not inherently problematic, but rather a natural aspect of the human experience.

The aforementioned concepts can be contextualized as follows:

If one is able to identify a positive aspect to one's inferiority, it can lead to an increase in confidence.

3. How might one better extricate oneself from the current predicament?

"On a daily basis, I engage in a constant internal struggle with my own thoughts."

On occasion, the images I had previously encountered online, or the comments made by online users, will resurface in my mind.

Additionally, there is a phenomenon known as vicarious thinking, which entails a tendency to anticipate negative outcomes and subsequently act in accordance with those expectations.

In such instances, it is advisable to maintain a state of awareness.

"The multitude of thoughts that occupy the mind makes it challenging to achieve a state of concentration and relaxation."

It is a common misconception that thoughts affect us more when we are not paying attention to them. In fact, thoughts are constantly occurring, and it is only when we are aware of them that they have the potential to affect us more.

In the future, it would be beneficial to attempt to observe the thought in the same manner as one would observe clouds in the sky, without attempting to control or resist it. Thoughts can be likened to clouds in this regard, in that they will drift around and come and go.

It is recommended that the subject simply allow the situation to be as it is.

It is recommended that the subject simply allow the situation to be as it is.

This is also applicable in instances where one is concerned about the potential for witnessing something unfavorable.

It is important to remind oneself that thoughts are merely thoughts and do not represent objective reality. By doing so, one can achieve a sense of relaxation.

Should the individual possess the requisite resources, they may also seek the assistance of a qualified counselor, which may facilitate their ability to navigate this challenging period.

One must have faith in one's own capabilities and believe that through continued investigation and training, one will undoubtedly become more proficient.

I wish you the best of success!

Hello question asker!

I understand your mood and state. You have mild anxiety and low self-esteem. Let's look at the following:

"Mild anxiety, lack of willpower, worried about side effects of medication."

Mild anxiety doesn't require medication, but I don't understand how the questioner determined he had it. It seems to come from online resources. If you feel unwell, go to a regular hospital for a diagnosis. Online information may differ.

The condition is recurring. Sometimes I feel depressed. My hobbies have dissipated due to anxiety. Depression is not accompanied by anxiety or panic.

I'm not sure if the depression the questioner is referring to is a mood or a diagnosis. There is a big difference. The former is normal, while the latter can be considered a disease. The questioner needs to confirm this.

"My thoughts race. It's hard to concentrate and relax."

"My mind is full of thoughts, and it's hard to concentrate and relax."

What does this thought mean? Record it next time it happens. When you're not focused, don't try to focus. Just take notes.

What does this thought mean? Record it next time it happens. When you can't concentrate, don't try to concentrate. Just keep a record.

Then think about whether these thoughts make sense. When you have a similar situation next time, you will see that these thoughts are not real.

Then think about whether these thoughts are reasonable. The next time you have a similar situation, you will realize these thoughts are not meaningful.

"For meditation, ever since I read that it can cause mental disorders, I worry that it will make me anxious and prevent me from resolving my anxiety."

"For meditation, ever since I read that it can cause mental illness, I worry that it will make me feel anxious and prevent me from resolving my anxiety."

This is like a "medical syndrome." If you see symptoms online, you might think you have the same problem. Be careful and spend your time on things that are more helpful.

"Sometimes I see bad pictures online or read negative comments that come back to me.

"Sometimes, I think of horrible images I saw online or negative comments from people on the internet.

I worry that I will do the same when I see something bad. (For example, when I see "jump off a building," I worry: what if I jump off a building too?)

When I see the word "loneliness," I feel depressed even though I'm not lonely.

Here are ways to overcome low self-esteem:

Here are some ways to overcome inferiority complexes:

Correct self-understanding

Everyone is unique. A comprehensive self-understanding includes interests, personality traits, ability levels, etc.

▪Get feedback from different people.

Ask friends, family, and relatives for feedback. Compare your current self with your past and ideal selves, and also with others.

Start with small things around you.

Use positive suggestions.

Write down negative thoughts like "I can't do it" or "I'm inferior." Then, cross them out to remind yourself to stop thinking this way.

Write positive suggestions next to them, like "I can do it" and "I'm the best."

Be more encouraging.

Read about celebrities and compare yourself to them. Find qualities you have in common with them. Affirm yourself and motivate yourself.

I hope my answer helps.

I hope my answer helps. Best wishes!

Dear colleague, I can see that you want to improve your situation and you are constantly looking for ways to adjust your state. I hope that my response can support you.

It's okay to feel confused. Let it affect you while you work through it. Meditation, mindfulness, and scientific methods can help you improve. The problem isn't the problem itself. The truth behind the problem is what you need to focus on.

After checking, you're only mildly anxious, which is something most people experience. Some people are even unaware that they're anxious.

There's a gift behind every anxiety.

You're still a kid, but you're already exploring yourself and trying to make yourself better. Use a scientific and reasonable approach to deal with it properly.

Solving problems can also lead to new problems that make you feel confused. At this age, it's important to be carefree. Talking to your closest friends is also a good way to relieve stress.

The root of anxiety is having expectations of yourself and hoping for a positive outcome. Uncertainty about the current situation, internal tension, and every anxiety hides a gift behind it, reminding you at any time to recognize it.

Moderate anxiety helps you be more efficient at what matters to you and pay more attention to the present.

It's important to be able to express your needs in a way that is firm but also gentle.

Do you feel like your parents have too much control over you at home? Do you feel like your family is too cold?

As a student, it's important to learn to express your needs. The way your parents treat you is often influenced by how they were treated, so they may treat you in a similar way. Parents cannot give you what they do not have.

As a child, you can accept the gift or not. Just express your thoughts firmly but gently.

It's important to set clear boundaries with your parents and take charge of your own affairs.

At the end of the day, you're the one who has to walk the path of life in the future, and your parents are just there to help you along the way. Kids need their parents' love, but many parents think they know what's best for their children and can be pretty inflexible.

Because of the differences in the times, many parents can no longer keep up with their children's pace and don't understand their children's thoughts. This causes their children to experience internal conflicts constantly. As a result, they become a stumbling block to their children's progress.

It's important to set clear boundaries with your parents. You need to remember that your future is in your hands. It's great that you're so kind and considerate, but you also need to love yourself. When you love yourself, you'll be able to receive more love from others and give love to others. Parents control their own destiny and are responsible for their own lives.

Show them respect, even if you don't agree with their decisions.

Your happiness is important, and life is all about learning and growing.

The best way to repay your parents as a child is to live a happy and healthy life, which will give them peace of mind. If others can't give us what we need, we have to create a good life for ourselves.

Everyone should learn how to create happiness.

Life will have its share of difficulties and obstacles, which will also test and hone you. Get out there, open your heart, and realize that everyone has their own set of challenges. By listening to other people's stories, you'll see that they've also faced their fair share of disappointments. Life is a process of experience.

Live in the moment and make the most of the process.

You're facing challenges head-on, constantly striving to improve and explore. At this stage, you're excelling and exceeding expectations because the past is unchangeable and the future is uncertain.

Live in the moment and enjoy the beauty around you. While the result is important, if you put in the work, the result will follow naturally. Be brave and be yourself. You're one of a kind.

Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for inviting me to respond.

From your description, your symptoms do not align with those of OCD. However, you have indicated a suspicion of "compulsive thinking," which includes experiences such as constant thoughts, difficulty concentrating and relaxing, and a daily struggle with your own thoughts. Additionally, you have mentioned seeing words like "jumping from a building" or "loneliness," and thinking about related content vicariously. These thoughts are challenging to control with your conscious mind.

These obsessive symptoms are indicative of excessive internal anxiety. When an individual is in a state of anxiety, they may experience a gradual loss of interest and hobbies, as well as a shift towards a depressed mood. This represents a transition between the two emotional states, anxiety and depression.

You may wish to consider seeking the assistance of a psychiatrist who can provide a diagnosis and assessment, and advise as to whether medication may be beneficial. In the field of medicine, there are drugs which can be used to treat corresponding emotions and feelings.

Adherence to medical advice can significantly benefit your situation.

Additionally, you may wish to consider seeking the assistance of a professional counselor on a psychological level. It is important to note that the so-called mild anxiety and low self-esteem are not something you were born with. Rather, they must have been brought on by certain experiences in your life. By sorting through and acknowledging these experiences, you will come to understand yourself better and be able to deal with anxiety or depression at the root, and develop mature self-esteem and confidence.

You are still in the early stages of your professional development, with significant potential for growth.

From your account, it appears that you may have a fairly robust sense of uncertainty. For instance, external perceptions, attitudes, or views can rapidly impact your current understanding.

The external perceptions and attitudes that you encounter in your daily life are often contradictory or conflicting. In order to navigate these situations effectively, you must be able to adapt and adjust your approach in real time, which can lead to increased internal conflict. This may be a contributing factor to your current state of anxiety.

Best regards,

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

It's so great to see that you've been actively adjusting yourself! However, just a heads-up that meditation or other relaxation methods can only provide temporary relief. To truly solve the problem, we need to have a deeper awareness of the origins of our emotions.

It's so important to recognize the core reason for your emotions.

When you feel those emotions coming on, take a moment to think about why you're feeling angry, sad, or whatever it is you're feeling. What needs of yours might not be getting met?

You can find the core reason for your emotions by being aware of and thinking about them a lot. Once you know what the root of your problem is, you can start working on it. This will make a big difference to how you feel!

For example, I used to get pretty upset when other people didn't act the way I thought they should. I wanted my mother-in-law to let me be, my husband to be with me all the time, and my kids to be more proactive in learning...

When they don't meet my standards, I feel bad. I later realized that I had been using my standards to demand things from others, and when they didn't meet my standards, I got angry.

When I let go of my own standards and accept each of them without forcing them to be the way I want them to be, my emotions become much more stable.

But the core reason for anger differs from person to person because everyone's inner needs are different. In fact, that's why we have emotions! They're our way of showing that our needs in our hearts haven't been met.

One of my dear friends often gets upset because others don't recognize and accept him. But the real reason for his emotions is actually his lack of recognition and acceptance of himself.

There's a helpful little law in psychology that goes something like this: when we're missing something inside, our natural tendency is to look for it outside.

It's totally normal to want others to affirm and recognize us. But if we're always looking for that external validation, we might find that others are just as unstable as we are. Nobody can always affirm and recognize us, and we can't control the actions and thoughts of others. This can lead to a negative cycle where we feel like we're constantly lacking recognition and acceptance.

It's so important to look within and learn to love ourselves, our imperfections and our whole selves.

My friend learned to affirm and accept himself, and it changed his life! He said, "After I accepted and recognized myself enough, I discovered that my world really changed a lot. I'm no longer so agitated by other people's negativity, because I know what kind of person I am. They only disapprove of me because I don't meet their evaluation standards. Of course I'm also happy when others affirm me, but I know that they only affirm me because I meet their evaluation standards..."

Human cognition, emotions, and behavior are all connected. They're like gears meshing together. As long as one of them moves, the other two will definitely move together. So, when we can understand the root of our anger and then adjust our thoughts and actions, our emotions will also improve greatly.

The great news is that ideas can be adjusted and changed!

It's totally normal to have lots of negative thoughts when you're feeling nervous or worried. But don't worry, things aren't as bad as you think. Thoughts are just thoughts, and you can change them.

You can absolutely clear out those negative thought patterns and establish positive ones through your own efforts. I know you can do it! You'll get out of your predicament and get better and better, I just know it.

It's so important to remember that these thoughts you're having right now are just thoughts. Thoughts aren't facts, and they don't have to be real. They can be changed, and you can change them! Make positive adjustments to your thoughts, and your feelings will be different.

It's okay to have these thoughts, but try not to reinforce them. Just accept that they're there.

It's totally normal to have some strange, scary, or negative thoughts pop up now and then. These are our pesky distracting thoughts, and just like emotions, they have their own journey from start to finish. If you acknowledge their presence and know they're just a meaningless "distracting thought," ignore them, and they'll quickly disappear.

On the other hand, if you pay too much attention to it or argue with it, you might end up feeling tied down by it.

So, my advice to you is to go with the flow!

It's totally normal for distracting thoughts to pop up. We just need to let them be there. While we're allowing things to unfold naturally, it's important to focus on what we should be doing. That could be work, studying, or chatting. Just do what you should be doing!

I know it can be tough at first, but I promise you'll get there! It's okay if your distracting thoughts still cause you pain at first. Just remember, they'll naturally disappear sooner or later. And as long as you try your best to do the things you should be doing in real life, you'll be amazed at how quickly they'll disappear without you even noticing as you get on with your work!

It's so important to pay attention to timely release and release your emotions.

It's important to remember that emotions can't be suppressed. They have a way of finding their way out, and they often do so in a more intense way.

There are lots of ways to let go of your emotions!

It's so important to socialize with the right friends and talk about your worries and confusion. Look for friends who can give you support and encouragement, and make sure you feel comfortable with them.

It's so important to take care of your body and mind! Go exercise, do those sports you like, and relax your body and mind while also getting better and better at it.

● Try writing therapy! It's a great way to get all your inner feelings and thoughts down on paper. Don't worry about whether your handwriting is perfect or if it makes sense. Just let it all out and express your feelings however you like.

● Punch pillows and sandbags to release your anger by hitting soft objects. It's a great way to let out all that pent-up frustration!

Have you ever tried the empty chair technique? It's a great way to release emotions. All you have to do is place an empty chair in the room, sit down in it, and then express yourself to it. You can say whatever you want, even if it's angry or abusive. It's a really effective way to let go of negative feelings. Give it a try!

Always give yourself a little pep talk! Or, if you're feeling down, try swapping out those negative thoughts for some positive ones.

The Pygmalion effect is a great reminder that we tend to get what we expect. It's not about what we want, but more about what we expect.

If you expect with confidence and truly believe that things will go well, then they will! It's the opposite, too. If you believe that things are constantly being hindered, then these obstacles will arise.

This effect has really inspired me! It's made me think about how important it is to have positive beliefs. When we have positive beliefs and attitudes, when we are confident, and when we believe that good things will happen, it's so important to always hold onto this positive expectation!

Because positive beliefs lead to positive behavior, and positive behavior often leads to positive results.

We all want to become the best versions of ourselves, and we're willing to put in the work to make that happen. But if we let ourselves believe that we can't do it, we might find ourselves stuck in a rut.

I'd like to leave you with a lovely quote from The Reconstruction of Life: "I am the master of my own thoughts, and I choose to think positively." Focus on and insist on positive thinking strongly, and positive thinking will be established in a very short time.

I am the master of my own world. And you are, too! The beliefs you choose will create your reality. So, let's start changing things now!

If you have a moment, I highly recommend reading the book Rebuilding Your Life. It's an amazing resource that I'm sure you'll find inspiring, helpful, and encouraging.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I understand your distress. First, I'll give you a warm hug.

You are facing the following difficulties:

1. You experience mild anxiety, but you have strong willpower. You are simply worried about the side effects of taking medication.

2. The illness comes and goes, and interests dissipate due to anxiety.

3. I have too many thoughts, I am too defeatist, and I have difficulty concentrating. I have read online comments about meditation, and they have had an impact on me. I fight with my own thoughts every day.

4. You experience excessive anxiety, constant worry about the future, and feelings of nervousness and loneliness.

Let's break this down.

1. The questioner has a low tolerance for uncertainty. It is likely that the questioner grew up in a demanding family environment, or that their emotional needs were not met, making them sensitive and insecure. After getting used to being fully protected by their parents, the questioner will panic whenever they try to do something for themselves because they have never done it before. They do not have a good acceptance process for the development of uncertain things.

Avoidance of uncertainty is a common tendency, but it only serves to increase anxiety, creating a vicious cycle.

2. The questioner likely has a high need for control. We must recognize that sometimes we artificially increase certain cues, which has the opposite effect. For example, when we go to sleep, if we give ourselves the awareness that we must fall asleep, it will sometimes inhibit our ability to fall asleep, which will make us even more anxious and irritable.

3. The questioner may have been trying to manage their own stress rather than the source of the stress. Chronic stress is a cause of anxiety, but controlling stress itself is not a good idea. We ignore the problem that comes from the constant stressors in life and learning.

The problem is often with other people. We assume that stress is a constant result because we cannot change other people. We try to control our own stress, such as through meditation or positive thinking. Sometimes, this backfires. If there are always stressors around, such as study stress and interpersonal stress, the questioner will feel anxious all the time.

4. It is likely that the questioner is also used to being pleasing and always used to sacrificing their own feelings to please others. Over time, they will feel unimportant and fall into anxiety.

Here's the solution:

(1) Accept yourself unconditionally. Whether it's meditation or online comments, just let it be. Absorb only what is useful to you. You can meditate, but do it in moderation.

(2) When faced with all kinds of uncertainty, tell yourself that although it is uncomfortable, it does not mean that there is danger. You don't have to like uncertainty, nor do you have to reject it. Learn to live with it, and don't try to get away from it.

(3) Accept that bad things happen. Trying to control the uncontrollable will only make things worse.

(4) Stop the meaningless internal mental depletion of the self and stop overthinking.

(5) Accept your own helplessness, rather than being numb. Be bold and express your true feelings.

(6) Distract yourself. Go on a trip, try a new hobby, go for a walk, or just relax.

(7) Adjust your lifestyle habits, get a good routine going, get enough sleep, get some sun, walk the dog, and relieve anxiety through some appropriate exercise.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful. I am certain that you will soon emerge from your difficulties and embrace a brighter future. The world is full of love and support for you.

First and foremost, it is always best to avoid taking medication unless it is absolutely necessary. If possible, it is always preferable to try to avoid developing this kind of anxiety/a-17-year-old-boy-feels-he-has-an-obsession-is-it-a-psychological-problem-what-should-he-do-14812.html" target="_blank">psychological problem in the first place. Secondly, meditation is not harmful. If you are able to immerse yourself in meditation, it can be a very beneficial treatment.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that reading books on psychology about anxiety may not be the most beneficial use of your time at this stage of your life. Given that you are only 13, it is likely that the emotional instability you are experiencing is a result of puberty. Regardless of the cause, it is important to remember that you have the capacity to immerse yourself in activities that interest you and to let go of anxiety. Many people find it challenging to identify something they are truly interested in, so it is worth giving yourself the space to explore different interests. Whether it's playing games or reading novels, as long as it helps you to forget about unpleasant things, it is worth considering whether medication might be a helpful addition to your current approach. If you feel it could be beneficial, it is certainly worth trying. Exercise and meditation are also excellent ways to heal if you can stick with them. They can be beneficial activities that can improve people's thinking and behaviour, even if they are not specifically used to treat anxiety. It is also worth noting that you have already identified things that interest you and that you have no problem with exercise and meditation. This puts you ahead of many people your age. As long as you continue to pursue your interests and find ways to improve, you can achieve great things.

I would like to respectfully suggest that it is not the kind of nourishment that will bring one true joy and contentment.

Regarding comments from netizens on the internet, I would gently suggest that you could perhaps do as I said. It might be best to ignore everything unless you think it's valuable. Of course, you can also read about completely transparent knowledge such as medicine and law. As for things like horoscopes, geomancy and other things that are not verifiable, you might like to take them as entertainment, otherwise you might find yourself wasting time.

If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact me or send them privately. I hope this information is helpful.