A 16-year-old girl, suffering from insomnia for years, what should I do when my parents don't care about me?

Dear Question Asker, It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

I empathize with your circumstances and wish to extend a gesture of solidarity at the outset. It is my hope to convey that there are numerous individuals who are receptive to your narrative and willing to extend benevolence.

It is important to note that the discrepancy between one's actual self and one's parents' expectations does not necessarily reflect one's fault. There is no obligation to align oneself with the expectations of others.

Parents have high expectations of their children. These expectations may result from the parents' unfulfilled wishes, which they may project onto their children. In other words, parents may attempt to shape their children into an ideal image of themselves, hoping to prove their own worth. This can manifest as a desire for their children to excel in certain areas, or to possess certain traits.

Conversely, it is accurate to conclude that you are highly proficient. Had you not demonstrated such capabilities, your parents would not have anticipated that you would achieve the highest grade in the entire class or secure the first prize in the piano competition, and they would not have engaged in frequent debates about these expectations.

Regardless of the extent to which parents seek to exert control over their children, their expectations and desires are ultimately personal and may even be unrealistic. Children are brought into the world by their parents, yet they are not mere extensions of their parents' identities.

First and foremost, it is imperative to disassociate oneself from the notion of being responsible for the expectations and desires of one's parents. It is crucial to recognize that one's actions should be guided by what is feasible and not by the demands of others. It is not the responsibility of the child to adjust to the circumstances, but rather for the parents to adapt to the present situation.

Secondly, it is recommended that you compose a written account of your thoughts and communicate it to your parents.

The manner in which your parents conduct themselves leads me to believe that they do, in fact, care about you. Their arguments are largely focused on you, which suggests that they are aware of your importance. If parents were truly indifferent to their children, they would not engage in such behavior. They would prioritize their own interests and not concern themselves with your potential for good or ill. Parents who exhibit such behavior are, therefore, arguably unqualified.

It is therefore inadvisable to become unduly concerned about the possibility of your parents no longer wanting you. Even if they were to take drastic measures for the sake of their children, it seems reasonable to suppose that they would continue to love you from the bottom of their hearts.

It would be beneficial to compose a letter in which you articulate your recent thoughts, feelings, worries, and anxieties. Despite your best efforts to comply with your parents' expectations, you may still experience feelings of inadequacy due to perceived limitations in your abilities. It can be challenging to discern the root cause of your parents' discontent and to identify the source of your own shortcomings. The constant negative feedback from your family can further exacerbate these difficulties.

It is a natural inclination for children to desire to please their families. The desire to see one's parents happy, to be approved of, and to provide them with enjoyment can, however, result in them unwittingly assuming significant responsibilities, which can ultimately lead to fatigue.

It is my hope that you will verbalize these feelings, which will in turn provide you with a sense of relief and prompt your parents to reflect on the matter.

I wish you the best in your endeavors.