A 17-year-old girl, I don't know why I'm so reluctant to study, feeling depressed and confused...

It is not uncommon to experience a sense of disillusionment with the educational system. It is rare for individuals to maintain a genuine passion for learning throughout their academic careers. Some individuals may engage in rigorous academic pursuits from an early age, yet this does not necessarily reflect their academic performance. It is unclear whether you are currently enrolled in high school or college.

In high school, the pressure is generally higher. This pressure is not only self-imposed but also derived from external sources, including teachers, parents, classmates, the environment, and other factors. This can lead to feelings of anxiety and a desire to gain strength to combat these challenges. When setbacks occur repeatedly, when aspirations are repeatedly thwarted, and when the desired future is not immediately realized, individuals may experience confusion.

Emotions can be conceptualized as a form of energy. The human heart possesses a multitude of layers. An individual may exhibit a negative and world-weary aspect, as well as a positive and optimistic inclination. They may demonstrate care and compassion towards others and the world around them, while also exhibiting resentment and indifference. This exemplifies the multifaceted nature of human nature. It is not inherently problematic to experience a sense of being in a daze. The tendency to engage in decadence can also serve as a form of self-regulation for the body and mind. When we are decadent, we are less inclined to engage in activities, allowing the body and mind to rest and recuperate.

Pessimism can facilitate the observation of a greater number of phenomena, while despair can engender intense emotional experiences. Given your fatigue, it would be prudent to engage in sufficient rest. If you perceive the world to be devoid of interest, absurd, and devoid of purpose, then allow this perception to persist. Negative emotions can serve as a form of catharsis. There is a distinction between positive and negative, and it is not feasible for any individual to consistently maintain an exclusively positive emotional state. Seeking assistance is essentially a process of learning to regulate and understand oneself. One's needs extend beyond the provision of mere emotional comfort; they also encompass a more nuanced approach and methodology.

As individuals mature, they inevitably must learn to gradually disengage from their original family, namely their parents' family. Among children of similar age, there is a general reluctance to engage in communication with their parents, a sentiment that I, too, have experienced. Writing can serve as a cathartic and healing process. As one writes, the heart can experience a gradual process of healing and release, irrespective of the specific content or process involved.

In conclusion, I extend my best wishes to you.

Dear question asker,

From reading your account, I can sense your inner confusion and pain. As the title suggests, I am unsure why I am reluctant to study. I believe I am not inherently unmotivated, but rather seeking to understand my own motivations and desires. Everyone wants to live each day happily and with energy.

I wonder if that's right?

It is often said that I am suddenly very depressed, but I am unsure why. From Freud's theory, we humans are dominated by the subconscious. The subconscious is what we are not aware of, but just because we are not aware of it does not mean that it does not have an effect.

Perhaps it would be helpful to try to sort it out.

1. "There may be some conflicts with my parents, but I don't want to talk about it, let alone communicate with them. It seems like I have a lot of resentment." It is possible that conflicts with parents may contribute to depression. From the perspective of family therapy, the child's symptoms are meaningful. The symptoms are not the child's alone. They are maintained by the interaction of family members, or what are the symptoms maintaining?

It is often the case that a child's problems reflect the problems between the parents. I remember someone saying that children are born observers and saviors in a family.

It is not uncommon for children to unconsciously use various methods to save their parents, such as skipping school, getting sick, or even fighting with teachers and classmates. While they may not realize it, these actions often come from a place of wanting to protect their parents, even if it means sacrificing themselves.

It might also be helpful to consider your own relationships with teachers and classmates. Children who do well in school are often well-liked by their teachers, and it's possible that they may have fewer conflicts with their teachers. Do they have good friends at school? Have they ever had conflicts with their classmates? Have they ever been bullied? Children who do well in school may be less likely to be bullied.

It would also be helpful to consider whether there are any physical health issues that could be affecting the child. If the student has positive relationships with their classmates and teachers, is well-adjusted, has no physical health concerns, and is performing well in their academic studies, it may be worth exploring whether there are any underlying family issues that could be contributing to these observations.

I'm not sure what grade the questioner is in. I hope these questions are helpful. I'd like to ask how you viewed your parents when you were young.

Could you please tell me a bit more about your relationship with your parents? Do you feel that they understand you?

Could you please tell me if you feel your parents give you enough love and care? And if not, what would you like them to give you most of all?

If it isn't an imposition, might I inquire as to whether there are any other siblings in the family? I'm curious as to how many years they are apart.

It is possible that these questions may relate to any pent-up emotions you may have.

If I understand correctly, you have built up a lot of resentment. Could you please clarify whether you mean resentment towards your parents? What have they done that has made you so angry?

Could you please tell me what the most impressive thing is? I would also like to know what you would like your parents to do.

If they don't do what you want, how do you typically respond? Do you find yourself getting angry?

Could you perhaps suggest some positive and healthy alternatives to these ways? What kind of person do you aspire to be?

Could you tell me a little bit about what your ideal is? I'm wondering what it would take to achieve that ideal.

2. I tend to feel anxious and overwhelmed by my surroundings. I often find it difficult to engage in conversation and tend to view things from a pessimistic perspective.

It would be interesting to know when people tend to feel anxious. We have been told by Mr. Zhang Daolong that parents who are anxious often have children who are anxious too.

It is possible that from an early age, parents argued, and the child was most afraid of their parents leaving, which could have led to a tendency to worry and become anxious whenever they argued.

Gradually, the threshold for anxiety in the face of problems becomes increasingly sensitive.

How might a person's pessimistic personality be formed?

1. Childhood trauma

It is often the case that a person's pessimistic outlook is shaped by long-term frustration, a lack of encouragement to succeed, or a significant setback experienced during their formative years. A person's childhood is an experience that leaves a lasting impression, and it is not uncommon for it to influence one's perspective and outlook on life.

If a person's childhood is overshadowed, for example, by abuse from parents or bullying from classmates, it is possible that a large amount of negative energy may accumulate in the heart, which could potentially lead to a pessimistic mentality.

2. Inappropriate educational concepts

It is possible that a person's pessimistic personality may be related to the education they received.

Thirdly, it could be said that there is a depressive temperament in the sky.

It could be said that temperament is something that is born with us. Some people are born optimists, while others are born pessimists because they have a depressive temperament. People with a depressive temperament may be inclined to overthink things and are sentimental.

It is possible that they may behave in an isolated and uncooperative manner, and they may also be introverted and pessimistic in character.

It might be helpful for the questioner to consider seeking support from a school counselor, who could offer a different perspective. In some cases, one-sided text may not be as effective as face-to-face communication.

I've gone through puberty, and I understand the original poster's feelings.

At 17, you'll notice changes in your body, nervous system, and psychology. Your views and ideas will also change.

Your emotions will be very sensitive, and you will react strongly to changes. Depression, anxiety, and irritability will occur frequently, and you may become depressed for no apparent reason.

You have lots of ideas about the future, but you're not sure what to do. You might think you want to do one thing, but then you read something that makes you think you'd like to do something else. This can make you feel unsure about what you should do now.

Talk to your teacher or school psychologist. They can help you concentrate on your studies. But they may not address the bigger issues you're facing.

The questioner is doing well in school. Read some introductions to developmental psychology, especially Erik Erikson's theory of the eight stages of psychological development. Many families and schools now base their education on this theory.

The main task of adolescence is to develop identity and avoid confusion.

You have achieved a state of identity when you have clear values and goals, and you have taken action to achieve them. This means having a clear career direction and understanding what you need to do to achieve it.

People will feel more stable and their lives will be more fulfilling.

Not everyone can achieve self-identity easily. You may still be exploring, which can take a long time and be difficult. During this process, emotions can be unstable, and one's state and learning can also be affected.

Once you choose a career, you will know who you are and everything will go well.

The adolescent stage is influenced by physical and mental development, as well as school, friends, family, and the media.

As the questioner said, you have some conflicts with your parents. Family relationships and atmosphere affect children's growth. It would be best if the questioner could communicate with their parents.

If you can't talk to your parents, can you ask relatives or friends to help?

I don't know how the questioner is doing with the homeroom teacher, other teachers, and classmates. Does he or she have friends to talk to or a school psychologist? Sometimes, having someone to listen without making judgments and to whom you can talk about negative emotions can be helpful.

Hello, I'm Mu Rong.

From your writing, I can see that you seem to be tired of studying, feel helpless about your parents' lack of understanding, and blame yourself for your negative emotions. It seems that you really want to stay motivated and positive at all times. You are very observant and you understand your own feelings. That's great, so give yourself a pat on the back.

First, you feel depressed and don't want to study or communicate with your parents. It's clear that your depression is suppressing your motivation. You're worried that something bad will happen if you release your emotions or some kind of motivation. This feeling seems to be similar to what you said about being "easily distracted by the environment."

Think back. Do your feelings of repression and worry come from school or from home? What feelings are you trying to suppress?

Think back: Do your feelings of suppression and worry come from school or from home? What feelings are you trying to suppress?

You have a day off. You're free to do whatever you want. What do you want to do?

When you return to reality and have done what you wanted, what will be the consequences?

Secondly, you have demonstrated that you can overcome depression with a glimmer of hope. This shows that your motivation is strong and almost bursts through the depression. You are excited by this energy and want to continue motivating yourself. However, you say that your hope quickly dissipates, which indicates that you are experiencing disappointment and a sense of worthlessness. I believe that I can see a "switch" that controls your motivation.

Think back. I want you to tell me if a thought or an event occurred to you. And I want you to tell me how you felt when this event or thought came up.

I believe that finding it will help you experience more excitement and a sense of worth.

?

Once again, humans are innately able to feel emotions, which helps us recognize events in our surroundings and perceive our own needs. When positive emotions arise, it means our needs are being met. For example, when we feel full of energy, we know we've had a good rest.

Once more, it is an inherent human ability to feel emotions. This helps us understand the events around us and perceive our own needs. When positive emotions arise, it is clear that our needs have been met. For example, when we feel full of energy, it is likely because we have had a good rest or feel a higher sense of worthiness.

When negative emotions arise, it means that our needs are not being met. For example, if you feel depressed, you need to express and talk about yourself.

?

You said you would write in your diary to adjust yourself, which is a great idea. Writing is a way of self-expression. However, you blame yourself for forgetting the content of your diary, which is holding you back from writing in your diary.

You said you keep a diary to adjust yourself, which is great because writing is a way to express yourself. However, you blame yourself for forgetting the content of your diary, which suppresses your motivation to write in it.

Use the diary as an opportunity to talk and express yourself. That will make you feel better.

In addition to keeping a diary, you should also engage in sports, singing, and painting. Do whatever you enjoy.

I am confident that the above will be of help to you.

I am confident that the above will be of help.

Hello, child. I hope this helps.

I can relate to your description. When I was your age, I was the same. We had a lot of conflicts, cared about other people's opinions, were easily influenced, and wondered about the meaning of our lives. We had a lot of thoughts and ideas that brought us suffering. This is normal. There are ways to adjust, relieve anxiety, and explore our needs and desires.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Emotions

First, know why you're feeling a certain way.

When you feel angry, sad, or saddened, think about why.

Through awareness and summary, you can find the reason for your emotions. Once you know your core problem, you can work to solve it and improve your emotions.

I used to get angry when people didn't meet my expectations. I expected my mother-in-law to leave me alone, my husband to be with me all the time, and my children to learn on their own.

When they don't meet my standards, I feel bad. I later discovered that I get angry when I demand others meet my standards.

When I accept others and let go of my own standards, my emotions become more stable.

Everyone gets angry for different reasons. Our emotions are a sign that our needs have not been met.

The three parts of human cognition, emotions, and behavior are linked. When one moves, the others do too. If we can see why we get angry and change our thinking and behavior, our emotions will improve.

Accept your emotions.

When we accept our emotions, we accept ourselves.

We don't need to deal with bad emotions, but we can take them with us. Emotions are neither good nor bad. They help us understand ourselves and feel the world.

We need to see emotions as positive and not judge them.

If you judge emotions as good or bad, you'll follow and cling to good emotions like happiness and joy. You'll avoid and resist bad emotions like depression and irritability.

If you focus on the good and avoid the bad, you'll drain your energy and create more conflict.

Be mindful and don't categorize emotions as good or bad. This reduces inner conflict.

This way, you can treat emotions with detachment, and they will have less influence over you.

Then you can control your emotions.

Use reasonable ways to release emotions.

Our emotions are not repressed. They will erupt in a more violent way.

Keeping a diary is a good way to release and channel your emotions. But we need to keep writing in it to be effective. Make counseling a way of life. It can help you maintain emotional stability.

Crying is also a way to release emotions. However, it is only temporary. There are other ways to release emotions:

If you need to get rid of pain, you can use writing to express your feelings and thoughts. Don't worry about the handwriting or the logic of the content, just express yourself. From your description, I can see that you don't want to communicate with your parents, but you have some resentment towards them. You can express this in writing. You don't have to show it to them, but you can write it out and then tear it up. You can also find the right person to talk to, express your inner worries and pressure, and at the same time feel the love and support of your friends.

If it's due to self-negation, improve your sense of self-worth and practice self-affirmation. Read books like "Identifying Yourself: Transcending Your Inherent Weaknesses," "Accepting Your Imperfections," and "Rebuilding Your Life" to improve your thinking.

If you are sad because of someone, find the person you want to connect with and have a sincere conversation. Only when we express our needs and feelings will we feel better.

If you need to release anger, you can do so through exercise, stress balls, or the empty chair technique.

2. About being lost

Who hasn't been confused as a young person?

We've all been there, searching for meaning. It's a process of confusion and exploration, eventually leading to certainty. But life has a way of throwing us curveballs, so the cycle starts again.

How do we find meaning when we're lost?

First, find out what we like.

If you haven't thought about your hobbies, just think about the following:

What makes you feel energetic and vibrant?

What books or movies do you like?

What topics do you like to talk about?

What did you love as a kid?

Your answers show your greatest interests.

Learning and working are ways to express your self-worth. Your skills (like negotiation, painting, photography, and writing) help you enter and adapt to society. They also help you find your direction.

Set goals for yourself.

Zhong Nanshan said, "People need goals."

A goal gives direction to a country, company, or person. It guides our actions and improves self-control.

Reasonable goals can inspire us.

A person who knows why they're living can endure any kind of life. We all have a sense of purpose.

When you feel lost and life is meaningless, set yourself a reasonable goal. It will help you find joy and value in life again.

Learn to motivate yourself.

Motivation is what makes us act. To succeed, we must find something that will inspire us to keep going.

Money can solve many problems, so we often use it as motivation to study and work hard. However, this motivation fades over time. What really supports us is our inner desire to persevere. This kind of motivation lasts.

Why are internal motivations like self-improvement more sustainable than external motivations like wealth?

Psychologists say that working on yourself is important for survival and development.

Psychologist Maslow arranged human needs in a pyramid model: physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. People can only turn to more complex needs after their basic needs have been met.

Once we have basic needs met, we focus on safety and security, then social connections. To be happy and successful, we need respect. Ultimately, we want self-worth and success. In today's society, our external needs are met, while our need for respect and self-realization is endless.

When you feel empty, you need to do something meaningful. Some people devote themselves to their careers.

So, you can look at your strengths, see what you want, and set goals. Keep working towards who you want to be. You'll feel better.

Good luck!

It's normal to have complex emotions, especially negative ones. But it's also normal to realize that these emotions are irrational. Your individual self has already experienced a lot of uncomfortable and unstable factors, and at this time you need to think about it.

For instance, you might be feeling anxious, disturbed, unwilling to speak, depressed, pessimistic, confused, or even hopeful. It's normal to have a lot of thoughts and emotions at this age.

♠Seventeen-year-old girl so doesn't want to study, feeling depressed and confused

I'm doing pretty well with my studies, but I do have some conflicts with my parents.

♠I don't want to communicate with them. It seems like there is a lot of resentment.

Depression

➗➗➗➗Resentment

If you're feeling energized, why not use that time to learn something new or get creative? It'll help you understand why you're feeling so energized.

Now, let's set a goal for the future.

You need to find something you really want to do.

It's up to you to say goodbye to confusion.

If you realize that you are pessimistic, desperate, decadent, and boring, and if this state of mind has affected your life, it's probably best to go to the psychiatric department of a hospital for a diagnosis. This may not be the best state of mind for you.

This is the perfect time to put in a good fight. You can also apply to university to give yourself a more attractive future and make more equally outstanding friends.

You can also visit romantic Turkey, as well as Tokyo and Paris. These are all achievable goals, and of course you should also set yourself some realistic goals that suit you.

I also suggest you look into psychological counseling. It seems like you're carrying a lot of negative emotions and self-criticism. It seems like you have a lot on your plate, so it might be helpful to have a professional counselor help you work through things and learn to enjoy life again.

You can also try some mindfulness meditation exercises to help you see the world with a more positive outlook and let go of any past issues.

What do you think?