A friend of mine has started to exhibit self-harm behaviors, what should I do?

I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

From what I can see, the poster is a very kind and helpful person. Regarding the situation with your friend, it would be helpful to try to understand what might have caused it and to find a way to deal with it that is more reasonable and professional. If she is willing, she might benefit from seeking professional psychological counseling.

I would like to suggest that perhaps we should reconsider the idea that it is acceptable to joke about one's own body. It may also be helpful to reflect on whether the ways in which we love our children are truly aligned with their inner needs. There are many reasons why self-harming behavior occurs, and we should be open to exploring them.

It is worth noting that a significant proportion of Chinese adolescents engage in self-harming behavior, with figures reaching as high as 15%. This can be a challenging and complex issue for parents to navigate.

In the past, people with mental health problems were those with severe mental illnesses (schizophrenia, depression, etc.). However, in recent times, there has been an increase in the number of young people with mild mental illnesses or psychological problems, such as depression and anxiety, Internet addiction, school refusal, eating disorders, self-harm, and so on. This suggests that the psychosocial risks leading to mental health problems in adolescents are becoming more prevalent. Since mild mental illnesses are more related to psychosocial factors, it is likely that this group of people is on the rise.

Adolescents are in a period of significant internal development and also a period when impulsive behavior is particularly prevalent. When children in this period lack some skills to effectively manage emotions and happen to learn about this method, they may be inclined to use this behavior as a way to release emotions. Once they are in pain, they may turn to physical pain as a means of coping with emotional distress.

From what I have learned, it seems that there are still quite a few junior high school students who use this method of relieving stress by cutting their skin with a blade. This seems to be especially the case for those who are easily criticized by teachers at school, who do not receive enough parental love at home, or who are afraid to face setbacks and actively deal with them. After learning about this method, it appears that they use it to help them release their emotions.

It's possible that they don't think about it that much and are simply unaware that releasing emotions in this way is not the best option.

How might we be of assistance?

1. Assist them in identifying the underlying motives for self-harm. In most cases, there are specific situations that trigger this behavior. To provide the most effective guidance, it's essential to first understand the source of their emotions and the reasons behind self-harm.

2. It would be beneficial to show them more care and love, provide them with support and strength, and establish a good relationship with them. When they feel loved and supported, their hearts will gradually be filled with love. When their hearts are full, they will not look for it in other ways.

3. Assist them in learning to manage their emotions and stress in a healthy manner.

If self-harm is done to escape pain, you might consider expressing your innermost feelings and thoughts in writing. There is no need to worry about the neatness of your handwriting or the logic of your content; you can express yourself as much as you like. You may also find it helpful to talk to someone you trust about your inner worries and stress, and at the same time feel the love and support of your friends.

It may be helpful to consider that if self-harm is used as a form of self-punishment, the person may benefit from support to enhance their self-identity, receive positive feedback, and practice self-affirmation. They may also find it beneficial to read books such as "Accept Yourself: Transcend Your Inherent Weaknesses" and "Accept Your Imperfections" to gain a deeper understanding.

If self-harm is done to attract attention, it may be helpful to find the person with whom the individual wants to connect, have a sincere exchange, and express.

If we express our needs, we may find that we feel less oppressed inside.

It might be helpful to consider alternative ways of releasing anger that do not involve self-harm. Some examples include vigorous exercise, such as boxing, running, kicking, and so on. You could also try squeezing stress balls, pounding pillows or sandbags, tearing paper, or using the empty chair technique to release emotions. This involves placing an empty chair in the room and assuming that the person you want to talk to is sitting in it. You can then express your thoughts and feelings, including any abuse or anger, to the chair.

It is important to remember that we should not treat people who engage in self-harming actions differently. Everyone longs to connect with others, and our sincerity and concern could potentially be a source of support for them. It would be wonderful if everyone could find a reasonable way to release stress and have the ability to love themselves.

I wish you the best.