A lurking belief, sometimes a bit too star-struck?

You want to get married but can't. You want someone to keep you company but worry that marriage will make you lose your value. You're anxious about finding the right partner.

Your first sentence was "I want to get married," and your last was "Where can I find a suitable partner?" It's consistent.

Your subconscious mind can express itself in many ways. This is not a writing mistake, but it shows you want to get married and find a partner. This comes from your subconscious mind and is what you want.

You're analyzing why you're not getting married. The title says it: "There's a small but scary belief inside, sometimes a bit of self-adoration." Even the most ordinary person is their own star. If you agree, is this a scary belief?

No one can be a star to everyone.

Everyone is different. If you care too much about what other people think, you will lose your uniqueness. Celebrities become celebrities because they are different.

"Being married means being a housewife, guarding a home and a man." This seems related to your concept of marriage. You've never been married, so where did this come from?

Is this a complete or partial concept? If so, why do people still need companionship after so long?

Marriage involves necessities and nourishment. Necessities are also nourishment.

If you're comfortable being single, that's fine. Everyone's lifestyle is valid. If you're single and thinking, you need to figure out why.

If you don't want to get married, where does your conflict come from? Do you have two voices in your head, one for getting married and one against it?

You're a good analyzer. You have your own thoughts, and that's attractive. You're not single because you're unattractive. There's something inside you that's pushing you away.

You can talk to a teacher in the psychoanalytic school to gain new insights.

I hope this helps!

At Yixinli, I love you!

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

You've already realized that this way of trying to gain attention isn't working for you. There are so many other ways to get attention and feel cared for, or to feel valued!

I just want to give you a heads-up that using your unmarried status like this is a risky move. It's not worth it!

So, at the end of the day, your anxiety is really about finding the right partner, which is totally understandable!

I'd love to offer you some friendly advice!

First, let's try to set aside our preconceived notions and see what your real needs are.

It's so interesting how people think that being married means being a housewife! It's like there's no other possibility, that you can only take care of a home and a man. It seems like once you get married, nothing else matters, and being single means that everything is full of possibilities.

It's funny how being unmarried seems to be more valuable and attractive. For example, if someone asks if someone is married, if they are married, people will lose interest, but if they are unmarried, people will pay attention or want to get to know them.

It's a common misconception that getting married means you have to give up your individuality. The truth is, you can absolutely stay young, energetic, and fashionable even after tying the knot! You don't have to stay home all the time with your husband. You can still pursue your own interests and do all the things you've always wanted to do. You're still you after marriage. You don't lose your identity because of marriage. As Li Jian said, "A good marriage is like adding wings to a tiger." After getting married, the world is your oyster! A truly good marriage will make you a better version of yourself, help you become a more complete member of your family, and give you a lot of warmth, support, and strength. Those who really want to pay attention to and understand you will not do so because you are married or unmarried. Many of my friends still care about me after I got married, and they are still interested in my development and growth. In marriage, we also don't lose our value, and our value will become more diverse...

People who truly have the ability to love aren't trying to attract everyone's attention and affection. They're just happy to be in a stable, long-lasting intimate relationship.

It's so important to learn to pay attention to and take care of yourself, enhance your sense of self-worth, establish new beliefs, and live with positive expectations.

From what you've told me, it seems like you could use some more attention and a boost to your self-worth and ability to take care of yourself. I've heard you mention these needs quite a few times, and I can see why. We all have an internal sense of what we need, and it's important to recognize that. You've already mentioned that you can use other ways to satisfy these needs, and I agree. A good intimate relationship can be a great way to feel fulfilled. It's more stable than other options, like being single, which can feel more open-ended. It's not that there's something wrong with being single, but it can feel less secure. It's like you're waiting for someone to show up and give you all the attention, care, and recognition you need.

And most importantly, you must establish an internal constant object, give yourself enough attention and care, and enhance your internal self-worth. This will make you feel more secure in a relationship and attract someone who is also internally stable.

It's so important to believe that you can meet the right person. You have to believe that he will support you, pay attention to you, recognize your value, and give you the care you want. Only when you believe that such a person exists will you pay attention to such a person in your life, be attracted to them, and have the possibility of continuing to interact with them. When you maintain such a positive belief and live with positive expectations, you will also feel hopeful about the future and believe that you will eventually meet your own happiness.

? Look for some reliable ways to create more possibilities for you to meet the right person.

If you're short on friends and it's tough to meet people your age, don't fret! There are plenty of reliable ways to meet the right person.

Some of my friends met at a mutual friend's wedding. Others found each other online and just clicked. Some were introduced by matchmaking services. And some met at work and just hit it off!

These are all totally possible ways to think about it. If you really, really believe that you will meet the right person and that your marriage will be happy, then you will definitely move closer to that direction. Even if there are some difficulties in the process, you will absolutely "have your heart's desire" because when you really want to accomplish something, the whole world will make way for you. ?

I hope this is helpful for you! Sending you lots of love and best wishes!