A male high school student hates a girl he once liked, and it makes him feel bad.

Hello! I'm so happy you asked for help. I'm here to support you in any way I can. I also want to praise you for being so aware of the emotional state and psychological feelings you show in relationships. Good awareness is the first step to making positive changes.

It's so interesting how our relationships with external things can reflect our inner selves. The parts of others that make you uncomfortable and upset are also part of you, but you might have been afraid to face them because you think that the parts of yourself with these traits are bad and will not be accepted. So when you are not aware of this part of your emotions, you will unintentionally project the emotions of your inner self that are not accepted onto others, and release this part of your emotions by being dissatisfied with and harsh towards others.

From what you've told me, it seems like your dislike of the girl's good qualities is rooted in your inner jealousy. It's as if this part of you is lacking and deficient, and you haven't yet found a way to make up for this inner deficiency and distress. But you care about this part in particular, so you project it in the opposite way, that is, as disdain, dislike, and harsh criticism of these parts of others. What do you think?

So, the outside world is like a mirror that helps us understand ourselves better. Especially when we see parts of others that make us feel uncomfortable, it's good to try to actively perceive whether this part is within ourselves. Then, we can heal this part of ourselves through our own active learning and growth.

Hi, I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. I just wanted to say that the world and I love you!

Hi, Topic Author. How are you doing?

If she likes you right now, do you still hate her? That's the first question I want to ask you after reading your whole message.

I think you can probably understand that whether you like her or hate her, she's already got your attention (it can also be said that she's triggered you internally, and then there are many voices and much confusion within). In this situation, I feel that this emotion (whether positive or negative) has given me a relatively strong feeling.

What she really means isn't as important as what you make of it. What she says might be the same as what you think, or it might be different (you can't ask, and even if you do, the other person might not tell you the truth), but either way, you get all riled up.

I can see that you seem to have some doubts about yourself too. It seems like you feel like you're not good enough, that you're terrible, and that you're powerless (both towards yourself and towards the relationship). You seem to be desperately trying to focus your attention back on yourself (I get the feeling that you don't even like this affected version of yourself), but then you end up asking a question about what she thinks (back to her again).

I think there's something you can do for yourself and your relationship right now. You should clarify how you really feel (you seem confused and torn to me), and this is a great opportunity for you to grow (I always think so whenever people encounter external people or things that trigger very strong emotions in them).

Here's my take, and there's something you can do about it. Let's talk it through.

Take a look at yourself. I think you can allow yourself to hate/like the other person and accept that.

One really painful feeling is that you resist your own affected self. That's because deep down you want to pay attention to the other person, but this makes you feel powerless and inferior, which is a very painful feeling (the more painful the feeling of being different from your expected self), and then you blame the other person for affecting you, and then resist this self.

Next time you find yourself in this situation, try telling yourself, "I know I'm thinking about her and I'm willing to admit that." Then, tell yourself, "I'm going to bring my attention back to me." Repeat this a few times until you feel better.

You'll find that when you do this, you feel a sense of relief, which is an acknowledgement and acceptance of who you are in the moment. There's nothing better than accepting yourself.

It's interesting to note that our feelings of dislike or like are actually carried by a person, and it's even possible that it is not her. What I mean is that you can write down the qualities you like about the other person, and you can also write down the qualities you dislike about the other person. Then, you can compare them with yourself to see if you discover that it may be something you lack, or something you have.

You'll see that what you care about most may not be the other person themselves, but what you want and don't want. At this time, she's a mirror for you, reflecting your inner self and showing you what you really want and care about.

The two methods above might help you become more aware and alleviate some of your suffering. But in the end, you need to face the suffering of "unable to get" or feeling powerless and break through it.

Finally, I want to say that it requires long-term commitment and perseverance. It's about how you view yourself and finding your own strength. I see that you have a tendency to hide, which is unnatural and not generous, and that you don't feel very confident in yourself.

This is the self that needs to complement any relationship and focus on oneself. How would I describe it?

You can be generous in hating and in loving. Many things are no longer a hindrance, but are fluid. There is also not much fear at this time. This internal view of yourself does not depend on conditions (because conditions can be lost), but on your true acceptance and love of yourself.

At this time, you can be generous and try to understand the other person's intentions. It doesn't matter if the other person doesn't tell you; you're allowing the other person to like or dislike you.

This is a very high level, a healthy mentality, and a very high level of self-esteem. It's an ideal state, but it's not unattainable.

Wishing you the best.