A second-year student, he is consumed by anxiety and always fantasizes about stabbing himself in the heart.

Hello, question asker.

From what you've said, I think one of the main reasons for your anxiety and burnout is probably the gap between your high self-expectations and your actual achievements. As a doctoral student, you often have high expectations of yourself in the academic field. You've only published one article in Chinese, which hasn't met the standards you've set for yourself, which has caused a strong sense of loss and anxiety.

Secondly, putting off tasks during the holidays, such as not wanting to move at all and lying in the dormitory all day, may be caused by a fear of tasks or a lack of clear goals and plans. When faced with many things to do, they feel unsure of where to start, so they choose to escape and temporarily relieve their inner stress through rest.

On top of that, if they don't talk about their situation with friends and family, it could be because they're anxious about being judged or rejected. This can make negative emotions build up even more.

Finally, the intense regret and disturbing thoughts at the end of the holiday may be due to a psychological phenomenon called self-punishment. Feel extremely guilty about wasting time, and then have fantasies of self-harm.

Here are a few suggestions:

Take a good look at how you see yourself, think about what you want to achieve, and break down big goals into smaller, more manageable steps. This way, you can gradually work towards your goals and build up your confidence and sense of accomplishment. Before you go on vacation, make a detailed list of tasks, plan your time effectively, set yourself a specific completion time, and think about what rewards you could give yourself along the way to keep you motivated.

Switch up your thinking, start a positive self-talk routine, and go from "I can't do it" to "I can try." Nurture an optimistic outlook. If you're facing something you can't tackle solo, you can safely open up to friends, family, or mentors about your struggles. They might be able to offer fresh perspectives and practical support to lighten your mental load.

It's also a good idea to reduce anxiety through things like exercise, meditation, or listening to music, so that your body and mind can get sufficient rest and recovery. And in addition to academics, it's important to develop your own interests, enrich your life, and avoid focusing too much on academic pressure.

It's also important to remember that this situation can be changed. By making gradual adjustments to your mindset and behavior, you can definitely break free from depression and regain a positive state of mind for learning and living.