Afraid of what others think of you, how do you relieve social anxiety?

Good day. I am a licensed psychological counselor at Yixinli. I have treated numerous patients with social anxiety. As you indicated in your description, the fundamental aspect of social anxiety is the fear of others' evaluation. This encompasses not only negative evaluation but also, in some cases, even positive evaluation, which can also induce anxiety.

Indeed, social anxiety is a prevalent phenomenon, affecting a significant proportion of the population. While many individuals experience varying degrees of social anxiety, only when the intensity reaches a certain threshold does it meet the criteria for a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder. Seeking assistance is an important first step in addressing the issue, indicating a willingness to make necessary adjustments.

In addition to environmental, cultural, genetic, and temperament factors, the following factors also contribute to the development and maintenance of social anxiety:

The initial factor is negative self-evaluation, which encompasses negative thoughts about oneself and negative self-definitions.

Secondly, individuals may avoid social situations and adopt safe behaviors to relieve anxiety, such as remaining silent, speaking less, or being less open.

The third factor is an excessive focus on self-expression and the social environment.

Fourthly, the self-image in the eyes of others is a significant factor, and work is typically carried out gradually from these aspects.

One may consider the use of social logs, which allow the recording of thoughts, behaviors, and emotions in social situations. This can facilitate understanding and exploration of avoidance behaviors and safe behaviors, as well as the learning and practice of social skills, from simple to complex, in a gradual manner. This approach allows for observation of changes in thinking, behavior, and emotions in conjunction with the social logs.

For further reading, one might consult such texts as "Living without Anxiety," "CBT Treatment of Shyness and Social Anxiety," and "Become Friends with Strangers in 5 Minutes." Should self-adjustment prove ineffective over an extended period, it may be advisable to seek the assistance of a professional counselor.

Hello, It is perfectly normal to have these small anxieties. We all want to perform perfectly, but we just perceive the degree of attention from outsiders differently.

First, you have to accept yourself, your imperfections, and your inadequacies. Nobody's perfect, and you don't have to be. Nobody can please everyone in social situations, and that's not what you're trying to do.

Don't be so demanding of yourself. It's normal to have negative evaluations. Work hard and show the world you're a positive, motivated person.

Secondly, when faced with negative comments, if what he says does exist, then you must admit it with a smile and promise to do better next time. Admitting your own shortcomings is a very courageous act.

Everyone makes mistakes. It's normal to make mistakes or feel inadequate. Learn from your mistakes and correct them.

Finally, accept yourself unconditionally, accept that you will make mistakes, and accept that others will have negative opinions of you. You can and should accept that you have shortcomings and that others may have negative opinions about you.

Good morning,

Perhaps a gentle pat on the shoulder could be helpful.

[Fear of what others think of you. How might one find relief from social anxiety?

Could I suggest that the underlying issue here is the fear of receiving negative comments? If the questioner were to adopt a different approach and stop listening to other people's comments, how do you think that would affect my behaviour?

It is possible that once you go out, you may be judged by others, and there may be negative comments. This could potentially lead to feelings of being threatened and uneasy, which might make it difficult for you to act naturally.

Perhaps we could view changing your perception as an experiment in objective self-observation.

It may be observed that with a change in perception, my behavior will change in this way. It is possible that I may not be as nervous as before, because at this time, my thoughts are indifferent. Even if I hear a thought that is different from what I expect, I will choose to ignore it, so my behavior may be more determined.

It is also possible that I may still experience some nervousness, even if I choose to ignore it. In that case, it would be helpful for me to consider where this nervousness may be coming from.

It may be a lack of acceptance of oneself. For example, there is often a voice in the head that hopes for greater social flexibility or a slightly different way of behaving. When we don't behave as we expect, it can be challenging to accept ourselves as we are. This can lead to internal conflict, and it's important to recognize that social anxiety can be a way to relieve this conflict.

It is also possible to discover other sources of anxiety through awareness. To do so, we can work to improve our awareness, for example through mindfulness meditation, paying more attention to current experiences, and whether we can face problems with a more positive mindset. These are all effective ways to observe thinking methods and re-evaluate life experiences.

It might be helpful to make a plan to change. There's no need to expect strongly that you will achieve a certain goal, but you can more naturally embrace the change, because this is a process of re-establishing new cognition, so we need a period of re-establishing balance.

Since the questioner did not provide more specific content, I'm afraid I cannot give more detailed answers at this time. From the description of the question content, it seems that the CBT practice method might be a helpful approach to control or relieve anxiety by adjusting cognition and abandoning irrational beliefs.

I hope my answer is helpful to you in some way.

I wish you the best!

Hello, landlord, I came across your description and thought I might be able to offer some inspiration and help.

In the article, you mention that you are concerned about how others might perceive you. It seems that when someone offers a differing viewpoint, you experience a certain level of distress.

This can also have an impact on our future social interactions.

Many of us have likely heard that it's best to be ourselves and that it's challenging to fully become someone else, even with the best efforts.

Indeed, there will always be a few people who hold a condescending attitude along the path of life.

We would never presume to tell you what to do, but we do sometimes find it difficult to disagree with others.

We have also heard the story of three people making a tiger. When one person says something less than complimentary about us, we tend to be unfazed.

If someone else offers a negative opinion, it can lead to some self-doubt. If that opinion is shared by a third party, it can be challenging to maintain confidence in oneself.

Such behaviors may indicate a lack of confidence in oneself and a tendency to live according to the opinions of others.

Sometimes, other people's opinions of us can be unhelpful. It's not always necessary to care about them.

It is important to remember that it is enough to be ourselves. Despite our best efforts, we will never fully become someone else.

If others offer us helpful advice, we can take it on board.

We can then listen and learn from experience. When others offer us negative or unfavorable opinions, we can choose to accept them with an open mind while also recognizing that they may not align with our personal beliefs or experiences.

We are not overly concerned with what others think.

We have the option of meditating in an unoccupied environment.

Take a moment to close your eyes and reflect. We can review the opinions of others and then consider them in light of our personal experiences.

Perhaps the best way forward is to calmly and carefully consider the causes, processes, and results of a problem.

Then we can come to a conclusion as to whether it is beneficial to ourselves.

I hope these thoughts are helpful to you.