After chatting with a close friend, you feel negative emotions and your relationship with her gradually becomes distant. What should you do?

Hello, I'm June!

I think it's so brave of you to describe your emotions so honestly! It must be hard to see your best friend drift apart from you after growing up together, but you're handling it so well!

Hug me!

From your description, I can see that you have invested two different roles in your best friend, and when the two roles conflict, your anxiety arises.

Role 1: Mother

"She is very emotional and gets tangled up in things. She relies on me a lot and often asks me for advice, and I love being needed!"

As you can see from this description, you are so lucky to have a best friend who is also like a mother and daughter! You have cared for and accompanied her as she grew up, and have given her a lot of advice on life.

The role of mother has given you some great experiences! As you get older, your former "children" no longer need your protection and guidance. This feeling of no longer being needed makes you feel lost and sad.

Role 2: Rival

"We got married in the last two years. She is not as qualified as I am, but she married a better husband than me. I was a bit resentful at first, but I have slowly come to terms with it. I haven't been doing well at work in the last two years, and my health isn't good either. But she has made rapid progress and her career is booming. She is now better than me in every way..."

From this description, it can be seen that although you are best friends, you also regard her as a competitor. You compare your beauty, abilities, etc.

An opponent who is inferior in every way to you has nevertheless managed to live a better life than you. This makes you feel resentful and unfair.

Best friends are supposed to share the little joys and sorrows of life. But when you mix in complicated character emotions, it's an opportunity to treat them with a "special heart"!

If you still cherish this friendship, you can absolutely get along with each other as equals! All you have to do is strip away the superfluous roles.

I really hope these points will help you understand yourself in a whole new way! Best wishes!

I'm a listener at One Psychology, thank you for asking.

You said that when you and your best friend are together, you feel like a spare tire. This feeling is probably true. Once a person has a family and career, her focus will be on her family. If you are really close friends, your relationship and feelings should be very good.

She likely feels that he values the family above all else, but she's unable to let go of you. She turns to you when she needs you, but she doesn't emotionally support you in return.

You need to ask yourself: what role or position are you in this relationship? Are you always being taken from, or are you getting something in return?

You're in a strange situation, right? She only comes to you when her husband ignores her, and then vents her negative emotions on you. Does this affect your life, work, and studies? If you find this kind of relationship difficult and embarrassing, then you should slowly distance yourself from it.

She will either grow and realize that getting along with others should be mutually beneficial, or the relationship will slowly fade and you will no longer be in contact. Either way, you will undoubtedly experience a loss.

You can tell her how you feel, but I doubt most people can do this, nor would they want to. Some relationships just slowly drift apart without saying anything.

You need to decide whether this relationship is getting closer or further apart. Ask yourself: what can you gain from it? If you never get anything out of it and you feel drained, you need to ask yourself whether you want to distance yourself from this relationship. Look for signs that it could get better.

From your description, it's clear that her demands on you are not excessive, but they are also draining your enthusiasm and commitment.

Some relationships just drift apart. That's fine. Find a relationship that gives you support, encouragement, and help, and where you can also be of benefit to each other. The world and I love you.

Hello, question asker! It's a pleasure to have met here. Perhaps we could chat together?

I apologize, I don't recall where I read it, but if you're interested in taking your relationship with your partner to the next level, you might consider learning to listen to each other's problems. Of course, this may vary from person to person. For instance, when I adjust my mindset to the fact that she confides in me about her problems, such as work, exams, life, and even small details, I view this as a sign of her trust in me and her feeling of safety in confiding in me.

When I think this way, I don't have thoughts like "this is making me feel like I'm always the one emptying her emotions out." Of course, everyone has times when their mental energy is low and they're troubled. At these times, it's important to remember that what's most valuable is simply being there, even if it's just listening.

If you are a psychological counselor and a client, then listening and even unconditional positive attention are two of the primary prerequisites or basic skills for responding to a client. In our daily lives, however, it is not always easy for us to treat friends and even family members with such a degree of care. As a result, we cannot necessarily expect ourselves or others to treat those around us in this way.

It may be helpful to consider the possibility that what you need is a friendship that maintains a dynamic equilibrium, where you have each other and she has you, and you can share each other's worries and joys.

It is not uncommon for long-term friendships to experience fluctuations in dynamics. You have demonstrated remarkable resilience in maintaining your friendship over the years, which is no small feat. This has undoubtedly been a meaningful and fulfilling journey.

Sometimes, it's important to speak up and sometimes, it's best to wait for the right moment. Trust is a valuable asset in any relationship. If you have faith in your ability to connect with someone, you'll be able to build a strong foundation. However, if you're uncertain, it might be helpful to take a step back and assess the situation.

If you are completely determined, you probably wouldn't have come here to ask questions. I'm sure there are many beautiful and irreplaceable moments in your relationship. The path for the next step is clear to you.

I would like to suggest that you believe in yourself and believe in the good.

Wishing you all the best, with love from me and the world!

Hello, my name is Strawberry.

Given the questioner's confessions and troubles, the long-time best friend, who had always maintained close contact, offers a sense of emotional support. However, the questioner may also feel a sense of dependence on the best friend, which could be beneficial in maintaining a reliable relationship.

The questioner's best friend is someone who tends to be indecisive. She is not as well-off as the questioner, and after she married a husband who is more successful than the questioner's current partner, the questioner experienced feelings of resentment. I commend the questioner for expressing her inner thoughts, as she is able to perceive her own challenges and emotions and work through them independently.

Perhaps there are some underlying reasons for this reluctance.

It's understandable that the questioner feels resentful towards her best friend. After all, her friend is not as well-off as she is. However, it's important to remember that her friend married a man who is better off than she is, and her career is also flourishing. When we look at ourselves in contrast, we might realize that our work is not going well, our health is not good, and our husband still has complaints about us. These factors could have contributed to her best friend losing her reliance on her.

The questioner seems to be struggling to accept the situation, but not because of the girlfriend, but because of herself. In the original situation, she was doing well and was doing better than her girlfriend, so why has the distance suddenly widened? It seems that the questioner's self-esteem has been hurt, so behind the unwillingness to accept the situation is actually hidden dissatisfaction with herself.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider who has changed.

After her best friend got married, she seemed to become more dependent on her husband, perhaps a bit more indecisive, and very obedient to her husband's words. She only came to the original poster to complain when her husband was indifferent to her. From here, let's take a look back at the original poster's description of her best friend's relationship with her before she got married. She was very dependent on the original poster and would ask her about everything. She was an emotional person.

It would seem that the best friend is still the best friend. She seems to have changed very little, except that the person she relies on has changed from the question asker to her husband, and her degree of dependence on the question asker has decreased. It is possible that the question asker feels that things have changed between them because she has been influenced by her husband's words, and thinks that her best friend, who has no independent opinions, will feel that she is not as reliable.

From what we can see, the questioner's best friend seems to view her as a reliable listener. It's possible that she sees the questioner as someone who can offer comfort and guidance, particularly when it comes to emotional issues. This suggests that the friend has a certain level of trust in the questioner.

Perhaps it would be helpful to assess your own abilities.

Given the challenges she is facing at work, her health concerns, and the difficulties she is experiencing with her best friend's husband, it is understandable that the questioner's own emotions have been affected. If she does not address her own issues, she may find herself continually trying to resolve her best friend's problems and provide support, which could lead to feelings of being overwhelmed and dissatisfaction with her best friend's behavior.

The questioner has been friends with her best friend for many years. She is aware that her best friend is only able to do so much. While she can't help her much, as a best friend for many years, the questioner hopes that her best friend can stand up for her when her husband says that the questioner is no good. Perhaps it is because she has always been paying for her best friend, but she feels justified in enjoying the questioner's devotion to her while neglecting the questioner's feelings. This is also the reason why she no longer wants to just give without getting anything in return.

It might be helpful to consider your own abilities in this situation. It seems that your best friend's negative emotions are making the questioner feel uncomfortable. Perhaps the questioner could try to express that their abilities are temporarily limited and that they don't want to hear too much negative or bad information. It might be a good idea to switch topics when contacting each other, and to remember that you are not the only source of her emotional outpouring, which might make you feel uncomfortable.

Given the long-standing nature of their friendship, it is to be expected that the best friend will be able to empathise with the questioner's feelings. However, if the best friend chooses to distance themselves, it could be perceived as a unilateral decision to maintain the relationship. This may result in the questioner becoming increasingly fatigued and unable to care for themselves. It is important to remember that a good friendship is based on mutual understanding and respect.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Wishing you well.

Dear Sir/Madam, After reviewing your description, I believe that your best friend's negative emotions may be affecting you. However, from your description, it seems that the gap she has created for you is more significant than her negative emotions. Best regards, [Your name]

Previously, your relationship could be described as complementary. She gained a sense of security, understanding, and companionship from you, while you gained respect from her, recognition from others, and a sense of pride in being a strong person.

You have maintained a balance in this environment of "each taking what they need."

However, as time goes by and people change, she can still get what she needs from you. In contrast, you have gradually lost what you were once proud of: your determination, strength, and excellence. This has even led to a loss of balance. This gap is the biggest source of your distress.

Furthermore, she relies on her husband, and his negative comments about your husband are a disguised violation of your dignity and interests, which exacerbates this sense of disparity.

On occasion, you may perceive the other person as seeking an opportunity to express their frustration, which can lead to feelings of victimization. In addition to not achieving your desired outcome, you may also feel that the other person is mocking you or acting in a self-important manner.

Coping with this situation:

1. It is essential to be determined to be the best you can be. Your sense of excellence, pride, and self-confidence does not come from comparing yourself to others and being better than others. It comes from your own beliefs and self-worth.

In other words, it is not possible to influence the decisions of others. It is therefore essential to take control of your own life and to avoid excessive involvement or even decisions by others.

2. It is important to consider your current resources. These include your time, family, happiness, achievements, hard work, and even your personal attitude. However, in the midst of change, you are using your own disadvantages to compare with the advantages of others. This is an ineffective use of your resources and may result in added pressure.

3. Reduce sensitivity. It is possible that you are not aware of this change in your relationship with her, but you will become increasingly suspicious and worried, which makes you more sensitive and causes you to project things onto yourself.

It is always possible to adopt the mindset that other people have their own lives and that you should focus on living yours.

4. If maintaining this friendship with a respectful and equal mindset is not feasible, it is advisable to maintain a respectful and equal distance.

In light of the changing environment and times, it is important to seek out new sources of value, such as children, reading, and other hobbies.

Best regards,

Good morning,

The original poster:

From reading the post, I can sense that you have some reservations about the relationship and that you are experiencing some discomfort. However, I also see that you have taken the initiative to seek help on the platform, which I believe will help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and make choices and adjustments that align with your needs.

I hope that sharing my observations and thoughts in the post will help the hostess gain a more diverse perspective.

1. Perhaps we could explore where our negative emotions come from?

In the post, you mentioned your relationship with your best friend, from the beginning when the two of you needed and depended on each other to the current negative emotions you feel when you get along. This has made you a little confused and you're unsure of the best way forward.

I appreciate your confusion and doubt. It suggests there may be aspects of this relationship that we could benefit from reflecting on and exploring further.

If I may, I would like to explore with you where our negative emotions come from. I would be grateful if you could compare the emotional state you experienced at the beginning of the relationship with the emotional state you are experiencing now.

At the outset of the relationship

You were always in close contact, and we had a lot of fun and many unforgettable memories. She is a very emotional person, and she often relies on me for advice. I also enjoy the fact that she needs me. From this information, I assume that you experienced a sense of comfort, mutual need, and a deep sense of connection; a sense of your own value.

I'd like to take a moment to reflect on the current state of your relationship.

She has grown and developed in ways that I haven't, and her relationship with me has naturally shifted to her husband. She still reaches out to me when she's facing challenges or when her husband isn't paying her enough attention, but I feel like I'm not as central to her life as I once was. I'm not sure if I'm still the first person she turns to for emotional support.

From this information, it seems that the hostess may be experiencing some discomfort. It's possible that she doesn't value you as much as she used to, that she's starting to distance herself from you, and that she may not feel as confident as she once did. By comparing these two situations, we may be able to gain insight into where our negative emotions come from.

From a psychological perspective, it could be said that our emotions are driven by our needs. By identifying our needs, we may be able to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves.

2. It is important to remember that relationships are constantly evolving.

Every relationship is a two-way street and is constantly evolving, so it may be helpful to take a dynamic view of the relationship. As the poster in the post mentioned, after your best friend got married, she relied more on her husband, and only when her husband ignored her would she turn to you.

Such experiences can, unfortunately, lead to some unfortunate outcomes.

I would like to discuss with you the question of whether your best friend or your husband is more important to you. Do you rely on your husband more, trust your husband more, or trust your best friend more?

When you encounter unhappy things, who do you feel you would benefit most from talking to? Your husband or your best friend?

We hope that these questions will help you to gain a deeper understanding of yourself.

While I don't know your answer, I believe many women would likely choose their husbands over other relationships. At this stage, our husbands often become the most important people in our lives, and we invest a great deal of energy into our relationships with them and our families.

It may be helpful to consider that the couple relationship becomes the first priority at this time. It could be beneficial to re-evaluate the position of other relationships.

It might also be helpful to consider how we can relate to others from their perspective. We may have placed our husbands first and become more dependent on them.

It is also possible that others may be able to do so. However, if we ourselves are unable to do so, it may be challenging to ask others to do so as well.

It may be helpful to view relationships from a dynamic perspective, as they are inherently dynamic.

3. Show respect for our feelings.

It is always difficult to predict the future of a relationship. A relationship inevitably goes through periods of closeness and periods of separation.

It is therefore difficult to predict what the future holds for this relationship, as the decisions we make now may change in the future.

At this time, we may wish to consider respecting our current feelings.

As adults, we must take responsibility for our emotions. When we feel uncomfortable in a relationship, we may temporarily try to keep some distance. Sometimes, keeping a distance does not mean that the other person is not good enough, but that we do not feel very good about spending time with the other person. We must take responsibility for our feelings.

Perhaps we can respect our own feelings in the moment. It seems that every relationship has its own rules, and going with the flow may be an option.

I hope these words will be of some help and inspiration to you.

It is often the case that the truth is difficult to hear and can cause feelings of discomfort.

If this is understood, the problem will be resolved.

From your description, it is evident that the root of your difficulties lies within yourself.

It is my sincere hope that you will read this carefully.

Firstly, the intensity of your jealousy is excessive. You observe that your closest associate has a harmonious marriage and a flourishing career.

In many ways, your best friend has surpassed you, which has led to feelings of jealousy.

The situation is undoubtedly painful. Despite your assertion that you are relieved, your feelings of jealousy remain unchanged.

The situation has not changed, and it continues to cause distress.

It is not possible to cease these feelings.

It is widely acknowledged that jealousy represents a significant impediment to personal growth. It is a phenomenon that persists.

Those who are envious will never achieve anything of note. Those who have a large heart will achieve great things.

The size of one's heart is directly correlated with the capacity for compassion, the extent of one's influence, and the number of concerns one is able to manage.

It is possible to achieve a great deal, to assist a great many people, and to receive

The extent of good fortune is considerable.

Henceforth, it is imperative to refrain from feelings of envy.

It would be beneficial to offer blessings to your best friend, who is currently enjoying a fulfilling and prosperous lifestyle.

A colleague has achieved a measure of success in their chosen field.

A fellow student has established a thriving enterprise.

It is recommended that you bestow blessings upon all those around you for their achievements.

As a result, one's heart will expand in size, and one's blessings will concomitantly increase in magnitude.

As a result, one will become kinder and more graceful, and, as a natural consequence, one will experience an improvement in one's quality of life.

Luck is a factor that cannot be ignored.

Secondly, it is imperative to recognize that the bond between a husband and wife is inherently more profound than that of two best friends.

A couple constitutes a family unit, the relationship between whom is protected by law.

No matter how close one may be to a best friend, it is imperative to recognize that the bond between a husband and wife is unparalleled. It is crucial to avoid attempting to emulate or surpass the unique relationship between a husband and wife.

If one desires to exert control and possess one's best friend, and if one understands these relationships,

As a result, a harmonious and mutually beneficial relationship will naturally evolve.

I extend my sincerest wishes for your well-being.

Hello,

I'm Kelly. I understand your reluctance and conflict. Let's talk.

"She was my best friend from junior high, and we've been close ever since. We've had many happy times and memories.

I'm happy for you that you had such a friend. I think of the people who have been in my life.

Those who haven't had innocent friendships are a bit regretful. This is when we explore friendships, so happy times are hidden deep in our memories.

Maybe we think of those times in little moments.

Just as we often think about our childhood, it's gone.

When we were young, we wanted to grow up. When we grew up, we wanted to be young again.

"She's emotional and relies on me for advice. I enjoy that she needs me."

This shows that the questioner can be trusted and has her own opinions. Asking you to help her make decisions saves your friends the trouble of thinking for themselves. This is a good complement and a kind of balance.

She is reliable and shows you can help others.

Friendship and love are the same. Many couples are one strong and one weak.

We all grow up and move on.

A baby is attached to its mother, but they grow apart.

Things change, so cherish the present.

This is true of family members and friends too.

We got married in the last two years. She's not as good as me, but she married better than me. I'm a little resentful, but I've let it go.

Close friends and sisters often feel this way. The better the relationship, the more you feel like something is missing. You're more open about your feelings, while others think about it or feel jealous but don't say anything.

The questioner is frank.

You've learned to wish your friend well, which is a result of your own growth.

I haven't done well at work for two years, but she's done well and her career is going well.

Everyone goes through different stages in life. You are a person with your own thoughts and abilities. I have also felt this way. During the pandemic, I quit my job. A very good job suddenly disappeared, and I also experienced a period of depression.

I figured it out. I used to be able to get a good job on my own or with help. The pandemic made it hard, so I quit. I've been traveling for many years, so I'm afraid to travel. I should adjust my mentality and use my experience and knowledge.

I used to like psychology, so I studied it.

We learn from meeting and working with others. Our views change.

Your friend has made progress. Maybe it's because her husband has worked hard, or maybe it's because your friend has grown. Look at her as a bystander. See her strengths, the way a husband and wife should get along, or that she still "needs" her husband. He works hard to protect and provide for her.

I forgot we were friends. I tried to understand her past with a strange mentality.

People change.

She's better than me in every way. She depends on her husband more. She's indecisive and listens to her husband a lot. Her husband is dissatisfied with me and my husband. He also makes her friends think they're unreliable.

Her best friend has shifted her dependence because she spends more time with her husband. As the saying goes, "like red ink affects the ink, so does the company one keeps affect the person." Spending a lot of time together affects each other.

Friendship is friendship, and the relationship between husband and wife is closer. Many of us will go through this process. My best friend and I, who have known each other since childhood, transferred our experiences to our nuclear families after we got married and had children.

Her husband's dissatisfaction is his opinion. You don't know each other well. Your friend's husband doesn't know much about your marriage.

If your friend told you what her husband said, who told you to listen?

Your friend is not mature. She doesn't have clear boundaries. Learn to set boundaries and distinguish between your friendship.

Don't let your friendship affect your marriage.

Be yourself, take care of yourself, and focus on your own family.

She only comes to me to complain when her husband doesn't pay attention to her. This makes me feel like a spare tire. She only comes to me when she's in a bad mood or when she's in trouble. This makes me feel like I've always been her emotional trash can. Friends to her are just useful, and nothing can get in the way of her own self. I don't know if I want to maintain this friendship. Every time I talk to her, it brings me nothing but negative emotions.

I suggest the questioner do what he or she wants. If you don't like listening to her complain, you can refuse.

Let your friend think about herself. Distance can be good.

A true friendship is tested by life's challenges. A true friendship is tested by wealth and poverty.

Friendship is revealed in times of both wealth and poverty.

Maybe distance will make you appreciate each other more or help you grow.

Our emotions can be influenced by others, especially if we're not feeling well. We should love ourselves and avoid letting others affect our emotions.

A boundary is to protect yourself. If you can't handle your emotions, they'll take over.

Professional counselors need years of training. They have to deal with their own emotions and protect themselves while helping clients see the problem and analyze it objectively.

Don't get emotional.

It's up to the questioner to decide if they want to keep the friendship.

I advise the original poster to protect themselves, learn more, make themselves happy, and maintain a distance.

Independent thinking is important.

Loneliness is a lifelong topic. Friendship is important, but optional.

Yixinli has many communities where you can interact with others.

Happy!

Click "Find a coach" to continue communicating.

Hello, question asker.

From your description, it's clear that your friend has some negative emotions and is also very dependent on you. You're jealous that she's doing better than you, but you quickly adjust your mentality, which shows that you have a strong ability to regulate. This is likely why your friend is willing to confide in you about her negative emotions. Your friend is happy to be friends with you because she sees that you have this mentality.

People like positive people and they also like to avoid being negatively influenced. When we get caught up in a situation where someone pulls us into negative emotions, we feel depressed. You have not left because you have always played the role of regulating negative emotions, so your friends have always relied on you, and you are also willing to take on this role to save your friends, so it is normal for your friends to be attached to you.

If we are constantly affected by the negative emotions of such a friend and we ourselves have a lot of worries, it will seriously affect our body, mind, and emotions and may also aggravate our negative emotions.

Do not let your friend's negativity influence you. Learn to maintain boundaries. Your friend has a family too. Your involvement may make his partner feel that you have ulterior motives and may say bad things about you to your friend, affecting your relationship with your friend.

The questioner should avoid friends with negative energy as much as possible. This does not mean cutting off the relationship. We always play the role of the person who regulates emotions in our current relationships, which only makes us more and more tired. We are not responsible for other people's emotions. We are only responsible for our own affairs, even if this person has a close relationship with us.

You must learn to take care of your emotions, calm down, and not be influenced by others, especially those with whom you spend time every day. You need to be aware of your emotions, look at the reasons they arise, and not let yourself get caught up in emotional depletion.

If a friend has negative emotions, do not become overly dependent on them. You can also encourage your friend to seek professional counseling from a counselor, who can help you understand why you have these emotions and provide assistance in solving your current problems.

I am confident that my answer is helpful.

Hello,

Take a moment to pat your shoulder and take a deep breath. Perhaps it would be helpful to temporarily withdraw from the "negative environment" brought about by your best friend. Among human emotions, friendship has always been a particularly generous and selfless emotional commitment. On the one hand, it is not as bound up as family ties, and on the other hand, it is not bound by "interests" as in intimate relationships. So if there is any emotional commitment that is the purest, then it must be friendship.

I find myself drifting apart from my best friend, and I am often surrounded by negative emotions. I would be grateful for any advice on how to handle this situation.

She is a close friend I met in junior high school, and we have maintained a close relationship ever since. We have had a lot of fun together and many unforgettable memories. She is very emotional and gets very tangled up in things. She relies on me a lot and often asks me for advice, and I am happy to be able to support her in this way.

In the past two years, we have been getting married one after the other. She is not as qualified as I am, but she has married a husband who is perhaps better suited to her. I was a little resentful at first, but I have gradually come to accept the situation. My work and my health have not been as good as they could be over the past two years, but she has made rapid progress and her career is doing very well.

I believe she has now reached a point where she is better than me in every way, and her dependence on me has shifted to her husband.

From the beginning of their acquaintance to the later stage when they both got married, the questioner and her best friend have always striven to maintain their friendship. The best friend is someone who thinks "emotionally" and has not made much progress. She is used to relying on others. From the description, we can also gain insight into the personality of the questioner. Compared with her best friend, the questioner is more rational, assertive and independent. This also very clearly shows the way they have been getting along. When encountering various problems, feeling unfair, jealous, sad and aggrieved, the questioner can still use rational thinking to restore emotional balance.

I'm not sure what has changed, but there seems to be an issue with this consistent pattern of getting along.

She tends to be indecisive and often listens to her husband's words. It seems that her husband is not entirely satisfied with my husband and me, though I'm not sure why. Her husband also encourages her to view friends as unreliable. She often turns to me only when her husband is not paying attention to her. This makes me feel like I'm a spare tire, and she only comes to me when she's in a bad mood or having trouble. This makes me feel like I've always been her emotional trash can, a gas station on her way up. She views friends as something to be used, and nothing can get in the way of her own self.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to continue this friendship, as I often find myself feeling negative emotions when I talk to her.

From the latter half of the description, it becomes evident that a significant factor contributing to change is the "debut of the best friend's husband's identity." It seems that the best friend's perspective is gradually shifting towards a more collaborative approach, which involves considering the perspectives of her husband and the questioner. However, when she still faces challenges in managing her emotions independently, she tends to seek guidance from the questioner, which might lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration, and a sense of being let down. These are understandable emotions, and it's natural to feel a need for consistency and affirmation in our relationships.

It would be helpful to be aware of your best friend's emotional way of thinking and her inability to be independent, which is also reflected here. This is consistent with the questioner's evaluation of her character. She has always said that this is the personality of such a person, but when it comes to marriage, her best friend has not ushered in the next stage of growth in her life through marriage, so she is even less able to handle her own emotions, her husband's negative emotions towards the questioner's family, and taking care of the questioner's emotions. This is an area where her best friend could improve.

How should we handle disagreements in friendship?

1. It is important to respect each other's boundaries.

When getting along with others, it's important to maintain a sense of appropriate boundaries so that we don't feel invaded or disturbed. This sense of boundaries also exists in friendships. While friendships are not like intimate relationships, because 24-hour constant togetherness can lead to obvious friction, it's still necessary to set boundaries with your partner. Friendships don't mean that you can get along without boundaries. It's still important to respect each other's ideas and ways of doing things. You can give advice when appropriate, or remain silent. However, setting boundaries is always the foundation for enjoying a relationship!

If your best friend tends to interrupt you frequently, you might consider expressing your feelings and demands in a calm and gentle manner. This may be a new approach for her, but showing respect for her thoughts and position will not make her feel ignored. If she can appreciate your more mature attitude towards things, it may help the friendship to continue developing.

2. Allow the other person the space to grow.

It is worth noting that the questioner is the one who needs to grow first, as the best friend is more likely to think emotionally. This emotionality can give rise to a sense of volatility and a strong ability to feel negatively. It may be that excessive interference and help are not the most helpful approach for the best friend to take in this situation. Instead, it could be more beneficial to rely on others to make decisions. This may seem like challenging news, but it is important to remember that when the best friend cannot take care of their own emotions, it is better not to prevent the other person from growing, but to improve their own abilities and face setbacks independently. Setbacks can often stimulate the greatest growth.

3. It might be helpful to consider lowering your expectations of your best friend.

Regardless of the relationship, when you really observe and explore it in detail, it is not difficult to discover that what really makes the relationship fail is often a discrepancy between expectations and reality. We may feel disappointed and powerless when the other person does not give the expected response, but it's important to recognize that individual standards are often subjective. This highlights the need for both parties to establish positive communication in order to avoid misunderstandings from deepening.

In the case of best friends, they have always been dependent on each other, and this strong emotion sometimes blurs reality, that is, exaggerating the other person's ability to meet their own expectations. Under the constraints of existing conditions, one party's lack of understanding and denial may inadvertently stimulate the other party's emotions of anxiety and anger. Perhaps lowering expectations could be a way to allow the other person to be imperfect, while giving the other person room to improve themselves. This approach incorporates the components of understanding and tolerance, and it may help the two parties to get along more easily without feeling more pressure.

Everyone's situation is different, especially when it comes to emotions. We can try to improve our emotions and minimize the effects of imperfect situations.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you continue to do well!

Hello! I'm happy to share my views with you.

People want forever. We wish for happiness, joy, and youth. But we know that nothing lasts forever. Everything changes.

Life has different stages, and our needs and priorities change. We will lose touch with some people and things. For things we have to let go of, forcing them to remain only consumes goodwill.

Mr. He Jiong said on a TV show, "I have many friends and care about the people around me, but I've never wanted to keep anyone by my side forever because it's hard. Some people are only there for a while."

Everyone else is just a passerby in our lives. Some stay longer, some stay shorter, but they all leave. It's unrealistic to think we can keep others in our lives forever.

Don't dwell on why you grew apart. You were just each other's passenger at a certain point.

When someone leaves, say goodbye with a smile and best wishes. Then start a new journey.

I'm Xiao Dong, a counselor. Have a happy life!