After every argument, it's me who has to pacify, unsure whether to continue with this friendship.

Hello, dear young lady.

Hello, my name is Liu Yong, and I'm a listening coach.

After reading your description carefully, my first impression is that, in this matter of B, either A also likes B, or A likes you and doesn't want you to develop a relationship with B. That's why there are so many strange behaviors.

Of course, this is just my feeling, for reference only. I think you, as the person involved, can try to sort out your usual interactions with each other, and you should have your own judgment in your heart.

In your friendship, when she feels neglected, she will get angry and ask you to comfort her. If you are willing to comfort her, it means you are happy to do so. If you feel unhappy comforting her, then there is something wrong with the way you get along with each other. You are only meeting her needs, not your own, so whether you want to continue your friendship or not also depends on you.

People get along with each other because they're kind and considerate. It's not about being nice just to be nice. It's about genuinely caring for one another. So, if you're feeling tired, it's your heart telling you that you don't want to continue. In fact, what we need to care for most in our lives is our own hearts. Take a moment to observe your inner feelings, discover your inner needs, and strengthen your inner strength. When we learn to know ourselves, we will know what we want and will not be troubled by the appearances of various things.

Hello, host! I'll give you a hug in four dimensions. Then follow me and relax. An, close your eyes, smell the flowers with your nose, puff out your stomach, and slowly exhale through your mouth.

?1.a is a personality that is always looking for ways to satisfy its own needs. She treats you in her own way, and while it might not always align with your preferences, it's a reflection of her unique approach to relationships. While her style might come across as a bit intense at times, it's important to remember that she's just trying to show you how much she cares.

?2.a: Your friendship is casual and fun! You're better off with a good friend. She's not afraid to be herself, and her low self-awareness makes her a little intense. The more you tolerate her, the closer she gets, and her love for you makes you nervous in a good way!

?3. You can try to tell her how you feel, and let her gradually accept it, so that the friendship can return to the right track. You can also choose to give up the friendship because you are going different ways and don't see eye to eye.

?4. If we don't tolerate and compromise from the heart, it will lay a hidden mine in the friendship. But don't worry! Just be yourself, take care of your own feelings first, and then you can maintain a good friendship.

5. A friendship between two people is like sand in your hands. The more you try to hold on to it, the more you lose it. So, just let her go! If you have tried your best and cherish what's left, just let it be.

I really hope this helps the original poster! Either way, I hope the original poster learns to love themselves, learns to say no, and follows their heart. It's totally okay to do everything yourself and let the rest go with her. Respect is mutual. We need each other's comfortable space. Thank you so much! I really hope this helps.

Hello!

I'm glad I read your description. Youth is wonderful! You can still play around. But from your description, I suspect you are also feeling helpless and frustrated.

Let's look at the situation.

1. You told Girl A at the table that Boy B likes you. She started acting strange. It seems like she cares about you and Boy B, but it's confusing.

2. I have to go to her and comfort her when I get angry. Sometimes it's useless to say sorry; she only stops being angry when I give her something to eat. I'm really tired.

Why does Girl A care about you and Boy B? What did she look like when she saw you were embarrassed?

Does she like seeing you make a fool of yourself? Or is there another reason?

Is she into B boys too?

Secondly, how to deal with unfriendly provocation? Wise people use their words instead of violence. People with high emotional intelligence turn conflict into peace.

How should we respond to unfriendly provocation?

Avoid conflict.

People who argue usually have three mindsets: to persuade, vent emotions, or express themselves.

Guide the other person gently to express what she wants to say. We want to solve problems, not provoke conflicts.

Then, express your feelings and thoughts accurately. A girl will only know you mind if you get angry. We just need to anticipate three questions before a conflict arises.

1. What's the theme?

2. What do I want to achieve?

3. What arguments can help me achieve my goal?

There's a famous saying in the US: "If someone tries to give you a gift and you don't accept it, it'll end up with the person trying to anger you."

Classmate, do you know the answer now?

Good day, question asker. My name is Evan.

There is no universal definition of a friend. Some friendships are based on incompatible personalities, while others are founded on differences in nature. A true friend is someone who can empathize with the questioner and consider their perspective. Based on the questioner's description, it appears that the questioner and this classmate are in a passive role, with the questioner often expected to fulfill emotional needs or ideas.

If you consistently meet the needs of another individual to the point of excess, they will come to view this as the norm. What they perceive as beneficial is, in fact, a romantic notion. The questioner fulfills the needs of their classmate, but they are unable to meet their own emotional needs through this relationship, leading to fatigue.

In the event of a dispute, it is the responsibility of the host to take the initiative and back down. Without some useful interaction, it will undoubtedly lead to fatigue. How to deal with this friendship requires careful self-reflection by the host, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

Show your questioner some encouragement and support. How can you determine if your colleague is a valuable professional contact?

What is the best way to proceed with this friendship? I will offer some advice to the original poster.

It would be beneficial to examine this friendship in more detail.

There are various types of friends. Some are helpful, some are ordinary, and some may even be considered false.

As Confucius said in the Analects, there are three types of friends who are beneficial, and three who are harmful. Those who are straightforward, forgiving, and well-read are beneficial.

"A friend who is fawning, obsequious, and deceitful is harmful." The meaning is that there are three kinds of friends that are beneficial, and three kinds of friends that are harmful.

It is advantageous to cultivate relationships with individuals who exemplify upright character, possess integrity, and demonstrate extensive knowledge. Conversely, it is disadvantageous to form alliances with those who engage in sycophancy, engage in flattery but harbor negative sentiments, and are adept at persuasion through charm.

"

The questioner can assess the relationship between themselves and their friends and consider the benefits that their friendship has brought them.

A true friend has many additional characteristics beyond those mentioned in the Analects.

While friends may not always provide the feedback you desire, they are willing to listen when you are facing challenges.

In the presence of friends, one feels relaxed and is able to be oneself.

Friends will provide support when needed.

Friends maintain consistent communication, not just when they require assistance.

Friendships encompass both positive and negative experiences.

Friends are concerned about your well-being and your personal safety.

Your ideas will be respected by your colleagues.

Determine whether the relationship is worth maintaining.

As previously stated, there are both beneficial and detrimental relationships. How, then, can one ascertain the nature of a relationship and determine its value?

Consider whether this individual seeks something from you when you are together. A problematic associate may:

The individual may engage in behind-the-back communication.

Use you to advance their position on a particular social ladder.

Use you to gain proximity to an individual with whom you have a connection.

Copy your homework or use your expertise.

They may also be seeking information from you.

They will only contact you when they require something from you.

It is recommended that you test the strength of the friendship.

To test the strength of the friendship, consider asking the classmate to assist with a task or to confide in her about your difficulties.

Observe her response to your needs and assess whether she is helpful or uncooperative. A genuine friend will offer assistance when you are in need.

Regardless of the circumstances, a strong friendship will remain intact. Friends enjoy spending time together and having fun together.

When a plan is made with a colleague and then altered, how will the colleague react? For example, if a plan is made to go to the movies together, but something comes up at the last minute, how will the colleague react? If the colleague thinks that the decision to give up spending time with them for someone else is foolish, then it's time to consider how to move forward with this relationship.

It is important to be aware of the potential for jealousy to impact the dynamics of a friendship.

Jealousy can have a detrimental impact on the dynamics of a friendship, particularly when there is a desire to gain proximity to the individual in question. It is crucial for genuine friends to overcome their initial feelings of envy and prioritize the bond of friendship above all else.

The following are indications of jealousy: 1. Your colleagues never celebrate your achievements, and sometimes instead of offering congratulations, they find fault with you. 2. Your colleague will start to distance themselves from you, and you can feel the "negative energy" from them, even when you are in a difficult situation, they only consider their own position.

Maintain a professional distance.

If your current colleagues make you feel uncomfortable, they often assert themselves and demand that you listen to them. In such cases, it may be advisable to maintain a certain distance from your current associates.

If the other party consistently leverages your friendship to request certain actions, you may consider politely declining, citing your current academic focus and limited availability for other commitments. You can also tactfully decline some of your friend's requests that may be outside the scope of your current responsibilities.

If your current relationship with your colleague makes you uncomfortable, you may wish to consider reducing your contact with them. This will allow you to create some distance, avoid unnecessary conflict and prevent any undue pressure from their behaviour. It is important to avoid ignoring or avoiding contact with them entirely.

Such behavior is unprofessional and may result in the disgruntled individual engaging in negative discourse about you in the presence of mutual acquaintances.

It is often the case that we cannot ascertain the thoughts of others. However, we can certainly invest more time in our positive relationships, those that bring us happiness, relaxation, and tolerance. Ultimately, the decision to continue or end a friendship is up to the individual. While forming a friendship is not a simple process, ending it should not be taken lightly.

It would be prudent to terminate the relationship only when you are certain that the other party is engaging in hypocritical behavior.

I hope this information is helpful to you.

Hello,

Host:

I am Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. After carefully reading the post, it is clear to me that the poster is very tired of maintaining this relationship.

The poster has also bravely expressed his distress and sought help, which will undoubtedly help him understand and recognize himself, adjust his behavior, and take care of his emotions.

Next, I will share my observations and thoughts in the post, which will undoubtedly help the poster to look at the situation from a more diverse perspective.

1. Why is A like this?

From the post, it is clear that the poster gets angry because I don't let her touch my thighs. She also gets angry because I don't notice her when I'm chatting with other classmates.

And so on and so forth. But every time she gets angry, I'm the one who has to appease her. Sometimes you have to give her something to eat before she'll stop being angry.

These messages clearly show that she has high expectations of the relationship and expects you to respond to her promptly and pay attention to her. She must feel like a "child" in this state.

She acts like a child expecting nurturing love. Why is this?

I believe it has to do with her own internal lack.

People with internal deficiencies often seek external satisfaction when they cannot satisfy their own needs. They expect external relationships to satisfy their needs and, when they don't, they get angry. Some even test the relationship and test the friendship.

Determine whether the other person truly likes me and if they will leave me. They will do things that ordinary people don't understand. Of course, a specific situation must be analyzed on a case-by-case basis. This is just an association, and the poster can use it as a direction for exploration.

2. Identify the benefits of maintaining this relationship.

The post indicates that the poster is the one who gives in this relationship and endures. Has the poster ever questioned why?

You need to ask yourself why this relationship makes you so tired, yet you are still maintaining it. Only by exploring this question can you begin to understand yourself better.

From a psychological point of view, the choices we make are often beneficial, and we only make them this way. We simply need to recognize the benefits ourselves.

Some people stay in bad relationships because they want to be seen as "good people." They think that their own flattery and giving reflect their value.

The specific host can explore this direction and better capture inner feelings and thoughts.

3. What kind of relationship can last?

Next, we will discuss what kind of relationship can last. From the post, it is clear that the current relationship of the poster is a relationship of depletion.

This relationship has been draining for you, so you feel tired and exhausted. And what does this feeling of tiredness and exhaustion make us do?

Do you want to push her away and cut off the relationship? If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll end up distancing yourself from her.

No one can be consumed all the time.

In long-lasting relationships, both people are giving and receiving. When I'm in a good mood, I give.

When I'm not in a good mood, I accept your care and support. This is how a relationship can be balanced and long-lasting.

4. You must take care of your own feelings.

From a psychological point of view, in interpersonal relationships, you must listen to your inner voice and feelings. No matter what the other person is like, your feelings will not deceive you.

As we discussed in point three, we can only have the energy to take care of others if we take care of our feelings and emotions.

For us, taking care of our feelings and emotions is the most important thing. I hope these will be of some help and inspiration to you.

Good morning, colleague. I can see the confusion you are facing right now, and I extend my support to you.

You are currently facing some interpersonal challenges. Please accept this additional gesture of support.

I am unsure if you have had the opportunity to read the book A Change of Heart.

The book states that in this life, we only need to be aware of three things: our own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven.

It is my personal opinion that your friend also has romantic feelings for the boy. Otherwise, why would she be so nervous about you being with him?

Should you terminate the relationship with B, she will be free to pursue B.

If you allow your emotions to be provoked by her actions, you will become susceptible to her manipulation tactics, which are also known in psychology as the "gaslight effect."

Given your discomfort with this individual, you may choose to ignore her.

The more she becomes agitated, the more you should ignore her.

Over time, she will realize that her outbursts are not justified and that her actions are futile.

It is important to remain firm in your stance, regardless of the comments she makes.

If necessary, you can simply turn around and walk away.

If she still has a modicum of self-awareness, she will understand that you do not wish to be friends with her and therefore maintain a certain distance from her.

I hope you are able to find an effective solution to the problem you are facing soon.

Please be advised that these are the only suggestions I can offer at this time.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you. I am available to assist you further if needed.

At Yixinli, we extend our best wishes to you and the world.