After graduation, unemployed at home, afraid to face the neighbors, worried about being talked about what should I do?

Hello! I've read your text and I can see where you're coming from, but I have to say I don't quite agree with your thoughts and actions.

First, you mentioned that you hope to go to a company at the level that your school's undergraduates should go to. This is a great goal! There are just a few things you need to consider in this regard: 1. During your time in school, what level is your comprehensive ability compared to your contemporaries? Are you in the top 20%, in the middle, or a bit behind?

Secondly, how likely is it that someone from your school will get a job at such a company? Thirdly, what are the chances of getting a job at such a company, without the factor of fresh graduates?

I hope these three questions help you to remember whether this is the only company that is worth working for. As far as I know, no university undergraduate can get into a good company. No matter how good the university is, only the relatively outstanding students have such opportunities.

Secondly, I think it's important to remember that your mother's nagging and opinions are just that — opinions. As a university graduate, unless you're studying for a postgraduate degree, you should be able to support yourself.

From what you've told me, it sounds like you went to a really great university. I'm sure you understand all that better than I do!

There's no such thing as a free lunch, my friend! You can't eat and live off your family and not allow your parents to nag. Their nagging is more about their concern, and partly determined by their level of seriousness.

For instance, it's a great idea to think about whether you should take the civil service exam, especially if you can learn from your parents' life experiences.

I'd like to say a few words about your "high expectations and low skills." I'm not sure if I should put this in inverted commas because I don't know you well enough. You could be really talented, or you might have high expectations and low skills and be overestimating yourself. Either way, I have some advice to share with you. College students of your generation are unlikely to work for one company for the rest of their lives. So first find a job that will let you put food on the table, and then improve your abilities and prepare for a better career.

After all, when you choose to take the postgraduate entrance exam, you have already missed out on the chance to start your career as a fresh graduate. The opportunities after that are no different from job hunting again. There is absolutely no need to worry about whether you can find a satisfactory job the first time!

Please forgive me if I say something inappropriate! I really hope I can help!

Hello.

I really like what you said: "I think this is normal."

People who grow up in the spotlight are not necessarily happy. It's clear from the text that your stress tolerance level has reached its limit.

It's natural to dislike being asked questions, but those who ask and discuss the questions don't feel it; they're used to gossiping.

Read "The Biography of Gandhi" and combine it with "Nonviolent Communication" to experience the "nonviolent non-cooperation" model. Read it several times for a deeper experience.

In other words, neither meet the other person's expectations nor frustrate them. And neither should you provoke their anger and hostility.

The act of "avoiding" is internally driven and caused by the external environment. Meet their gaze and say confidently, "I've received your concern."

The act of "avoiding" is internally driven and caused by the external environment. Meet their gaze and say confidently, "I've received your concern."

But I am the master of my own life. I am not going to rely on your inquiries to make me successful overnight.

"

Believe in your sovereignty. It is sacred and inviolable. Participate in and practice it.

Deal with the emotional setbacks, and then move on to the matter of financial independence. You can choose whether to continue studying for a master's degree or to get a job you like.

Upgrading your degree is a good idea, but you need to think about what you want first. You never know how the trend will change in a few years if you just go along with the crowd.

You need to be aware that what you learn in your freshman year and what you need to use after graduating in your senior year may have changed completely, even if you learn to code.

Your abilities can be cultivated slowly, and you can reduce your anxiety by believing in yourself.

If you appreciate life every day, you will invent a product that solves people's pain points. There are few people who really know how to live. Your neighbors and elders are among them. They are unwilling to open their minds and try a brand new life.

Best wishes!

Best wishes!

If you can't do whatever you want at home, it can make you feel a little uncomfortable, so give your host a hug!

It's okay, we can't change what our neighbors say. So let's look at how to change our own thinking and whether we can ignore these comments.

We've always been a society of personal relationships, and it's something we're really good at! We love chatting about each other, but sometimes we can get a little carried away and forget to set some boundaries. It's not so common in other places, but it's still something we need to be aware of.

The host can view these neighbors, like elders, as people who care about you and not as "meddlers."

They'll always care about you like this: right now, whether you're working; in the future, whether you have a boyfriend; and then when you get married and whether you want to have three children. It's a lot to take in, I know! But you've got to get used to it and gradually accept their crossing of boundaries. It's not easy, but you can do it!

In her book, "Why Family Hurts," Wu Zhihong talks about the importance of setting boundaries. It's something that many older folks in China could benefit from learning. They often cross boundaries without realizing it, thinking they're just being loving and caring, but they can inadvertently hurt others.

I'd love to chat with you about how you can find your own advantages and make a great plan for your future!

"I used to be the best student in this school," this may be the thought that has always limited your performance. We've all been there!

There's a psychological state called "shaking goals."

We all know how it goes. You really want to get something or do something well, but you end up failing because you're too focused on the goal. It's like you're on the brink of success, but then you stumble. It's okay, we've all been there!

It's totally normal to care about the outcome, but when we care too much, it can make us nervous and anxious, which makes it harder for us to perform at our best.

The subconscious mind will then lead you to think, "Because I am the best, I must always be the best!"

This kind of thinking can really hold us back from growing and developing. Unfortunately, it can also lead to not doing so well on an important exam like the postgraduate entrance exam.

First, let go of the idea of being perfect and embrace your imperfect self.

At this time, it might actually be a good thing for something like this to happen! It gives you a chance to really examine yourself and see yourself more comprehensively.

We can't be the best all the time, and that's okay! It's important to remember that we shouldn't live our lives for the opinions of others, but for ourselves.

While you're at home, it would be great if you could take some time to think about what you like and what you love.

I'd love to know what you would do without pay.

Once you've found that passion, you can then look for a suitable career development plan in that direction.

When you focus on the future and what you want to do, it'll become clearer and clearer what you want to do.

Secondly, try to see the positive in failing the postgraduate entrance exam. There are always two sides to every story.

Life is always full of twists and turns, with moments of glory and also moments of low ebb. We've all been there!

If you're feeling low right now, know that it's just a short while until you start climbing again.

All uphill roads are hard, but it's so worth it to see the amazing view from the top!

Once you've found your interests and passions, you can start planning your future!

After all, we all need the ability to escape from the land of right and wrong. It's so important to be able to leave this home and survive independently.

There are so many young people who are constantly striving to leave the sad place of their childhood behind. It's so inspiring to see them turning pressure into motivation!

Landlord, you can also take action and arrange things for yourself every day. When you are immersed in things, you might not think about your neighbors as much.

And last but not least, remember that focusing on self-growth is always the first priority!

Freedom is all about having the ability to do what you want, when you want, and having the desire to do it. When you're able to do more and more, and you don't have too many material desires, you'll feel more and more free.

Do you really have to find a job? Well, the good news is that you don't necessarily have to! According to the China Flexible Employment Market Research Report released in 2020 by a certain recruitment platform, the post-90s and post-00s flexible employees account for more than 50%.

You've got this! As long as you have the ability, you can become a think tank and collaborate with more companies and platforms.

Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that times are changing, and work isn't what it used to be. It's not just a job that lasts until retirement.

Remember, constant growth and self-transcendence are about so much more than just passing university entrance exams and postgraduate entrance exams. At work, you've got to keep learning and improving!

A lifelong learner is the only person who can remain invincible in the future society. And you can be that person!

So, young people, cheer up and run! When your sense of purpose becomes clearer and you find your truest self, those voices will eventually drift away, and you will eventually encounter a better version of yourself!

Come on, you can do it!

Hello.

I'm here for you.

Your current situation is probably a bit like a sudden gap in your life. You are uncertain about the future and feel anxious. You need a space where you can calm down and figure out the way forward.

There are all kinds of voices around you, telling you that you've made a mistake and making you more anxious.

When you're in a bad mood, try to calm down, take care of yourself, and practice staying calm in a crisis. If you can do this, you'll be stronger during good times.

With this strength, you will be happier and more confident when life is easier. Use this time to face your inner self and repair yourself.

You feel annoyed when elders in the compound who have watched you grow up ask you about your work every other day. You want to avoid them, but you don't want to seem indifferent. You're afraid of being gossiped about by your neighbors, so you don't know how to respond.

These feelings are a mix of anger and fear. They're not fully understood and suppressed. When your neighbor asks about your work, these feelings can make you feel uncomfortable and unsure of how to respond.

Your neighbor asks you about your work every other day. I think that's intrusive and judgmental. You may be able to sense it. If it were me, I would feel angry, like my life is being spied on, and like I'm being treated badly.

We can't demand how others treat us, but I'll be clear that I don't want this kind of treatment. I'll see the anger and accept it. When facing your neighbor, you don't want to attack or say something rude. You just want to be left alone. Your response may be a smile or a joke.

Anyway, the answer you're comfortable with has power.

You might also feel afraid. Afraid of being gossiped about by your neighbors.

This fear is about doubting yourself when you're out of work. Not having a job and discussing it with neighbors are external factors.

These external conditions reflect your inner self. They may make you doubt yourself. You may think: I'm not good enough.

You have negative thoughts and feelings.

These thoughts and feelings are not true. You are unemployed and looking for work.

Look for work. Keep doing what you do every day and enjoy life.

Just because you don't have a job, you don't need to feel bad. Even ordering takeout is okay.

If you have a job, is ordering takeout okay? This logic is ridiculous.

You may have accepted this logic, so you are trapped by it.

Many of us believe that if you don't get married and have children by a certain age, you're doing something wrong.

These ideas don't belong to us. They were planted in our hearts as we grew up under the judgment of our parents, schools, and society.

We judge ourselves and others by these standards. We even pass them down to judge our loved ones and children. But these standards and judgmental logic harm everyone.

When we were young, we were often criticized, neglected, and abused by our family members. These standards and logic are like shackles with thorns, engraved in our flesh and blood. Even as adults, if we make a mistake, we may feel like we're not good enough or worthy of love.

If we can see the harm these judgments and logic cause us, and see that they come from past experiences and are not true, we choose not to believe them and to enjoy real life. Everyone will be happier.

Next time you see your neighbor, feel yourself. Focus on this moment to feel support and acceptance.

Break away from the past, focus on the present, look for work, take care of yourself, and enjoy the present.

I hope this helps. Best wishes.

#Hello, I'm Gu Yi, and I'm as modest and self-effacing as ever!

We may be afraid of what others may say, but what do we feel?

Embrace external opinions!

From what you've told me, I can tell you're a hardworking and sensible child. We've always presented a good image to others, but factors such as failing the postgraduate entrance exam and not being employed at the moment have made you think you've failed. This is damaging your good image over the years, but it's also an opportunity for you to learn and grow!

That's why, when we go out, no matter who we meet, as long as they are people we know, we can't help but think about these things. It's a great way to keep our minds active! But, in the end, meeting people can become a bit of a pressure, causing us to rather walk with our heads down, pretending not to see. That's okay, though! We can choose to focus on the positive. The only people who really care about this matter are ourselves. It's our own sense of psychological disparity that deepens our level of care about this matter. That's something to be excited about!

And the neighbors' discussions are a normal thing. No matter what state we are in, they will discuss it. This is the life of the market; no matter which neighbor we meet, they will ask about work, marriage, and other situations. This is the life's fire and smoke, and it's a wonderful thing!

We can't escape it, so let's embrace it and make the most of it! It's great to know what other people are saying, but don't worry about it.

Give yourself some planning!

The fear we are afraid to face is essentially our inability to deal with our current situation. When we were preparing for the test, we could say with justification that we were preparing for the exam when faced with questions from others. But now that we have not passed the exam and do not have a clear next step, we have become timid. But there's no need to be timid! We can still take control of our situation. We can still pass the test. We can still take the next step. We just need to believe in ourselves and our abilities.

We just need to remember that we can always make changes to our plans and find new ways to belong.

❀It's an exciting time! Whether we're preparing to find a job or to continue World War II, either course of action is possible. All we need is conviction in our hearts and action in our hands. When we have our own plans and know what we need and what we want next, the opinions of others and outside influences actually have less of a harmful effect. After all, we can defend ourselves very well!

I really hope that the questioner can plan for the best and make a difference in his or her own beautiful age! It's totally normal to encounter difficulties and lack of understanding in life, and it's really not necessary to take it all in. We will encounter the problem of people's changing attitudes step by step, and we'll be totally fine!

You can't stop your neighbors from talking, but you can decide what they talk about! So cheer up, young man!

Wishing you the very best!

Hello! Here's a hug.

Your question reminds me of my niece. Every time I see her, I ask if she's finished her homework, which makes her angry. I also ask her questions she doesn't like.

I don't know what to talk about with a junior high student. I can't even understand what she says. I can only ask what you want to eat, and your auntie will take you out to eat.

She didn't have anything to say to me. If it was just the two of us, we would stare at each other.

The elders in the courtyard probably don't know what else to say when you ask about postgraduate studies and work. They lack a common language foundation.

If you don't want them to ask, start the conversation. For example, you could say, "Hi, Uncle, you went for a walk, Auntie, the vegetables you bought are really fresh, you look younger and younger, I heard it's going to rain tomorrow, your little grandson is really cute, etc.".

You say you're more of a homebody. You probably can't say anything if you don't have to. This method works, but it's more suitable for those with social anxiety.

Then you may have to think about it differently.

The elders may not know what to say.

Secondly, they probably feel they have to say hello to their neighbors when they meet. It's not directed at you.

Third, they may not have bad intentions. They just want to know.

If you're annoyed, ask them for help finding a job. Tell everyone you meet. They'll avoid you.

This method is damaging and won't solve your problem.

You haven't found the right job.

After graduation, you should get a job to support yourself. It doesn't matter if you can support yourself, the key is to have a job.

You're afraid of being gossiped about and unhappy with your situation.

You've been unemployed for almost six months since graduating.

In the past six months, you probably weren't happy with your postgraduate entrance exam results or with yourself. How did you stay strong?

From a psychological point of view, you are staying in this uncomfortable circle, but it's actually your comfort zone.

You failed the postgraduate entrance exam. Your friends have started working. You haven't. You can blame your failure to work on the exam.

If you look for a job and don't find one, or if you do find one but don't do well, you'll probably think you're not good at work. To avoid this, your subconscious mind might stop you from looking for a job or make it hard for you to find one.

Ask yourself what you're afraid of. What will happen if you don't have this fear?

Then try to do what comes after fear.

I'm both Buddhist and pessimistic, sometimes motivated and positive, a counselor, and I love the world.

Furthermore, my mother has also been critical of my decision-making. I have previously received several job offers, but I did not pursue them because I was not satisfied with the opportunities presented. I had not actively sought employment opportunities, which resulted in a lack of experience in interviewing for positions. I had hoped to gain experience through these offers, but my mother perceived my actions as being overly ambitious.

I informed her that my neighbors often criticized me for consuming takeout food rather than preparing my own meals. My mother then asserted that if I fail to fulfill my work obligations, the responsibility lies with me. This raises the question of who is to blame for not cooking for oneself.

I am genuinely disconcerted. Is there something inherently problematic with merely seeking employment that offers a reasonable degree of satisfaction and then proceeding to fulfill one's professional obligations? I frequently order takeout meals because they are more palatable than the food I am capable of preparing and allow me to dedicate time to other pursuits. I am simply reluctant to expend my limited time on tasks that I am not particularly adept at.

Upon realizing that I was unable to gain admission to a Fortune 500 company, my mother began suggesting supernumerary positions in academic institutions. This approach seems analogous to suggesting that if one is unable to gain admission to Tsinghua or Peking University, they should simply settle for a second-tier university. Furthermore, I am disinclined to pursue employment in an institution. The employment landscape in private enterprises is already challenging, and my circumstances are not being adequately recognized. I am simply seeking to apply for positions at companies that our school's graduates are expected to pursue.

My mother consistently encourages me to pursue a teaching position in the public sector and to become a teacher. However, I have made it clear to her that I am not interested in working in the public sector. Despite my objections, she maintains that the public sector is more stable. She frequently sends me job announcements and inquires daily about my application status, even though I have not applied. Subsequently, I did apply and take the test, but I did not approach it with the necessary seriousness. In response, she asserts that I will not secure employment if I do not take it more seriously and that I lack the ability to think critically about my goals. This criticism is particularly hurtful.

Greetings,

The host's feelings of being aggrieved and misunderstood are understandable, given the circumstances.

I am Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. After a thorough examination of the post, I initially discerned the host's sentiments of being wronged and misinterpreted.

Furthermore, it is evident that the individual in question has exhibited courage in articulating their most intimate sentiments and has proactively sought assistance on this platform. This initiative will indubitably facilitate a more profound comprehension and recognition of the self, thereby enabling a more adaptive approach to self-regulation.

Subsequently, I will present my observations and thoughts on the aforementioned post, which may assist the author in considering alternative perspectives.

1. Examine the underlying motives behind your emotional state.

As observed in the aforementioned post, the host indicated that the reason for their prolonged absence from their domicile was due to their failure to gain admission to a postgraduate program and the subsequent lack of progress in their job search. Additionally, the host expressed a certain degree of apprehension regarding the potential responses of their neighbors. After carefully reviewing this information, it is evident that the host's sentiments are comprehensible.

It is undoubtedly challenging to confront the remarks of one's neighbors. It is probable that a significant proportion of individuals would likely empathize with the host's sentiments.

The objective of this exercise is to identify the underlying needs that give rise to our emotional responses.

What is the underlying cause of this fear? How do you feel when your neighbors discuss you?

If these feelings are to be expressed, then what form will they take? Through questions of this nature, it may be possible to ascertain the underlying needs that give rise to our emotions.

In this context, I would like to present my perspective, which may not necessarily align with yours, but may serve as a reference point. It is evident that the comments from your neighbors have had an impact on your self-esteem. You have previously achieved commendable academic results, yet individuals with lower grades than you have secured employment, while you have not.

Therefore, although the neighbors' comments may not be intended to cause harm, they may nevertheless result in feelings of self-love being damaged. Inevitably, comparisons may also be drawn.

Conversely, the neighbors' comments may be genuinely vexatious. When an individual seeks guidance, it is imperative to recognize that the capacity to respond resides solely within the individual in question.

Consequently, one might also choose to avoid such interactions due to a fear of potential consequences.

2. One may experience distress when expectations are not met.

Additionally, the post examined the relationship between the original poster and her mother. It appeared that the mother also lacked comprehension of the poster's perspective and had expressed negative opinions about her, suggesting that she was incapable of performing tasks successfully.

I had never genuinely considered my own desires. I was profoundly wounded.

I empathize with your situation. I was also experiencing a degree of sadness following my failure to pass the postgraduate entrance exam. In addition, I was particularly vulnerable due to the comments made by my neighbors. Consequently, I required support and understanding at that time.

However, my mother did not comprehend my perspective and instead dismissed it. This may evoke feelings of frustration and sadness in the host.

From a certain perspective, however, this sadness and grievance may be attributed to our expectations of our mothers. We anticipate that our mothers will understand us, provide us with physical support, and consider our perspectives.

Consequently, when mothers fail to fulfill these expectations, individuals may experience feelings of loss and hurt.

3. Attempt to relinquish your expectations of your mother.

Our expectations of our mothers may prove detrimental to our emotional well-being. Consequently, it may be beneficial to disengage from these expectations and acknowledge that our mothers are not inherently empathetic.

When this is achieved, it is possible to avoid becoming emotionally lost.

It is not accurate to conclude that we are aggrieved and hurt simply because our mother does not understand us. This realisation may assist us in adjusting our emotional state.

4. Attempt to alter one's perspective and adopt a new point of view.

Everything has two sides, as illustrated by the yin and yang in the Tai Chi diagram. It may therefore be possible to derive some positive meaning from these unfortunate experiences.

If one were to adopt a different perspective, one's mindset might shift. For instance, these experiences could be perceived as painful and frightening.

However, these experiences have also served to develop our capacity to withstand adversity and to engage in introspection.

If one considers the passage of time, it becomes evident that a great deal has been suffered and lost in this matter. It is possible that, in the future, greater benefits may be gained as a result of these abilities.

The original poster may benefit from considering the issue from a different perspective.

From a psychological perspective, interpersonal relationships are a catalyst for personal growth. While such relationships may evoke feelings of discomfort at times, this is arguably a necessary aspect of the growth process.

It is my hope that these insights will prove beneficial and inspiring to you.

Hello, landlord! I'm Xing Ying, a psychological counselor at One Mind.

I've read your post carefully and I can feel your frustration and annoyance. Let's get you back on track. I'll give you a pat on the shoulder: "Hi, would you like a cup of coffee?" Let's sort out the events that are currently troubling you:

1. I failed the postgraduate entrance exam and I'm currently unemployed.

2. Frustration caused by the gap (the student who studied the best in college is now lagging behind).

3. I simply could not face my neighbors and elders, and they kept asking.

There are two ways to resolve problems: by solving the external reality or by solving internal distress. You must adjust your own perception while changing the external reality. Consider external and internal factors simultaneously to solve the problem.

You failed the postgraduate entrance exam and your job search was unsuccessful. You are temporarily at home.

You have three options: retake the exam, work harder, find a job, or stay at home.

First, identify what you have gained from the failure of the postgraduate entrance exam.

When I first decided to take the postgraduate entrance exam, I was full of enthusiasm and thought I could bear the consequences and pressure of failure. I was wrong.

You nailed it! You have a knack for distilling past experiences into concise summaries, which is one of the reasons why you've consistently been the top student in the hospital.

The value of summarizing lies in how it transfers the experience gained to other similar things.

What kind of inspiration does this experience give you?

From your question, it's clear you've already chosen a career, but it's not going well for now, and it's tough to find a job you're happy with.

I believe we can agree on this. We must face reality if we are to solve the employment problem. We need to have some original, optimistic ideas about employment. We must also anticipate the difficulties we may face.

If the employment situation remains bleak, I will make a choice. I will decide whether to lower my employment standards and settle for the first offer.

I will find alternatives for dealing with future situations.

In terms of thinking habits, I can give you a piece of workplace advice: in the workplace, in addition to having good professional skills, companies will value those who can provide feasible alternatives when making any proposals.

Psychology helps us from the inside out, relieves psychological distress, and finds inner strength. However, it also acknowledges the necessity of facing reality and dealing with real-life problems. The solution to all psychological distress is a sense of control, strength, and freedom over our real lives. Your current worries stem from reality, so facing reality is inevitable.

We've covered the reasons for reality. Now let's look at inner distress.

1. Frustration caused by a gap (the student who studied the best in the courtyard is now lagging behind).

As an excellent student, you have high expectations of yourself. This will keep you in good shape, but you must also accept that you cannot always maintain a leading position. Even world champions cannot guarantee that they will always be champions.

We cannot monopolize the world, and we are not capable of doing so. Being the leader is the result of hard work, and being the laggard is also the norm.

Even the geese flying south know this truth, changing the lead goose at the right time. I am certain that after this period of low mood, you will gradually accept it too. It is not that you are lagging behind; it is simply that others also have their strengths in other areas, just that they did not show it when you were a student. When you enter society, this feeling will only become stronger and stronger. You must accept your own limitations and appreciate the excellence of others without comparison to ultimately gain more support and recognition.

2. They can't face the neighbors and elders, and they keep asking.

You were the best student in the orphanage from a young age, and they have watched you grow up. They like you a lot, and you're used to presenting your best side to them.

Feel it. What kind of emotions are hidden in their token of comfort? They want to care about you, but they're afraid of hurting you.

They want to care about you because you have always had excellent grades and you respect your elders.

They like you because they watched you grow up, you have always had excellent grades, and you respect your elders.

They're afraid of hurting you because you seem fragile.

When you face them, you look like this [you don't want to meet them, you just want to hide and walk away]. Later, I didn't explain much, I just agreed with whatever they said.

Imagine facing them with an optimistic attitude, smiling and saying, "I failed the postgraduate entrance exam, but that's okay. I gave it my best shot. Next, I'm going to look for a job. I've decided to give myself three months (or whatever time you set for yourself) to take my time and choose carefully, while also taking a break before setting off again. What would they do then?"

Your boredom is caused by your dissatisfaction with your current situation, lack of a clear plan, and inability to accept your temporary setbacks. I know this might not make you happy, but it's the truth.

You need to accept yourself for who you are, not try to be someone you're not. The world and I love you just the way you are!

Good day, inquirer. In a society where relationships are superficial, the greatest fear is being questioned about one's personal life by acquaintances in the name of concern, particularly when academic or professional challenges are encountered. There is a lack of clarity regarding boundaries with acquaintances, and those who have observed one's growth from childhood believe that "inquire[ing] about one's well-being" is an expression of concern.

A generational gap exists between you and your elders and neighbors. Their standards for a good job and a good life are distinct from yours. The elders' gaze is akin to that of a ruler, and it appears that each inquiry is a grading of your excellence.

It is challenging to accept that one's personal choices and lifestyle are not subject to external scrutiny and judgment.

Furthermore, you are acutely aware that your perfunctory attitude towards your elders is somewhat impolite and inappropriate, given that they have no malicious intent and are merely concerned about you. You may have been brought up to respect the elderly and love the young. Even if they do something wrong, as a younger generation, you should not contradict them in public or challenge their authority. It is important to maintain a respectful and courteous demeanor towards your elders.

It is important to be mindful of one's emotional state in such circumstances. The individual may have experienced setbacks in their pursuit of admission to graduate school and in their job search. They may be grappling with feelings of frustration and anxiety. When interacting with these elders, it is crucial to maintain a sense of composure and to respond to their concerns in a manner that is perceived as respectful and attentive, even if one is feeling overwhelmed.

Conversely, one might consider whether one is content with one's current circumstances. Originally, one was the most accomplished student in the courtyard, but now one and one's peers have diverged from that path. One elected to take the postgraduate entrance examination, while the others proceeded directly to employment. Based on the current outcomes, it is possible that they have already secured employment and an income, while one is still in the job-hunting stage. It may appear that one is lagging behind, but is that truly the case? One might inquire as to the original rationale for taking the postgraduate entrance examination.

Please describe your plans for the next five years. Additionally, please provide a comparison between your current self and your self from the previous year.

When one truly accepts oneself, whether in one's studies, work, or life in general, it is believed that one will be able to interact with one's elders and neighbors in a confident and positive manner. This is because one is a person who is capable of taking responsibility for one's own choices. In short, one is the master of one's own life.

I wish you the utmost success in all your future endeavors.