After spending time with girls to a certain extent, will you feel at a loss, inferior and anxious?

Hello, host. I'm honored to answer your question. From your description, it's clear you're unable to have deep contact with the opposite sex. You experience inferiority and anxiety during contact, which I'm going to help you overcome.

I'm going to ask you a question before I answer yours. What was your relationship like with your father and some of your same-sex elders during your childhood and adolescence? When you interacted with them and communicated with them, did they give you more positive or more negative feedback?

In other words, your actions and abilities will be either affirmed or denied.

If you interact with your father or other elders of the same sex and they give you more criticism and blame, it will affect the way you position and evaluate yourself in life. This is wrong. When interacting with the opposite sex, you will feel that you are not worthy of having in-depth interactions with such an outstanding person, which will in turn generate feelings of anxiety and fear. This is also wrong.

The problem is that you are too self-doubting and care too much about things during the dating process due to your lack of confidence. In psychoanalysis, Freud divides human development into the oral phase, anal phase, and Oedipus phase.

These behaviors are manifestations of the Oedipus complex, a psychological mechanism that combines a sense of achievement with immaturity. He is worried that a deeper connection with an outstanding woman will lead to harsher punishment, so he will have a sense of accomplishment that surpasses his own father. In future interactions with these women, he will experience a lot of fear and anxiety to prevent himself from achieving these due achievements.

These subconscious thoughts lead to excessive suspicion of the opposite sex and excessive concern about the other person's behavior. The goal is to avoid falling in love and gaining the approval of the opposite sex, and to avoid betraying their father.

These problems are caused by criticism and attacks from same-sex parents, which makes us lack self-confidence in socializing with the opposite sex. We believe that our achievements in socializing with the opposite sex cannot exceed those of our father or other elders of the opposite sex. This is a false belief. Once we are about to enter a deep understanding with the opposite sex, these notions hidden in the subconscious will prevent you from further deep communication with the opposite sex. We must understand the cause of the problem. Our achievements do not depend on the evaluation or denigration of anyone. They depend on our contributions. In socializing with the opposite sex, the recognition of outstanding girls is more valuable than the recognition from same-sex elders in the family.

We must break free from the constraints of our original family and achieve self-realization. This also includes establishing a happy new family with an outstanding member of the opposite sex.

I'm excited to go on a date! 1983. The world and I love you!