After the divorce, how should I respond when the child requests to meet their father?

Hello, question asker! First of all, congratulations on your divorce! You have escaped from the trash man and gained the possibility of a new life.

From your description, this man asked you to have sex with him in a hotel after the divorce, and if you refused, he would mock you. This man has serious character problems, but you can work through them together!

If you have a lawyer friend, you can ask for advice. This man has already sexually harassed you, and is currently verbally harassing you. Don't let this continue! It's time to take a stand. In order to prevent the harassment from escalating to physical harassment or worse, such as drugging or rape, and to protect your child from further trauma, and to ensure the personal safety of the two of you, it is not recommended that you continue to meet with his father in private with your child. But don't worry! There are ways to make this work.

1. Set the rules for meetings in black and white. If the rules are not followed, you have the power to refuse to take the child to see the father.

For example, no insults or sarcasm, no sexual harassment, and meet in public places, accompanied by a third party (such as the child's uncle or grandmother or your best friend, etc.).

If he refuses to sign the rules, you can meet in court. It's a great idea to secretly record the conversation as evidence, and keep a record of his nasty words and deeds, just in case. That way, you can provide them as evidence to the judicial authorities.

2. Explain to the child about his father selectively. I absolutely believe it's a great idea to share as much as you can with your child about their father!

If his father is a person with character problems, and you try to embellish him, it will be easier for the child's inner order to collapse, and the child will follow his father's example. His father doesn't know what respect is, and under the influence of his repeated meetings, the child will also be negatively affected. But here's the good news! You can help the child avoid this fate by explaining to him clearly now that the reason you don't want to obey his father unconditionally and meet him is because his father doesn't respect his mother, insults her, and speaks rudely, which causes his mother to feel very hurt inside and this is the reason for the divorce.

It's a great idea to explain to the child why you don't want to obey his father unconditionally and meet him. It's because his father doesn't respect his mother, insults her, and speaks rudely, which causes his mother to feel very hurt inside and this is the reason for the divorce.

Absolutely! You can totally leave out the part about the hotel room. The child is still young and won't understand the concept of a hotel room just yet.

This is also a great chance to chat with your little one about respect. If they're still too young, you can easily show them the ropes with some polite and impolite behavior examples.

I truly believe that through your patient and careful influence, your child will gradually understand your intentions and difficulties.

Best wishes! I'm so excited for you and I really hope you can start a new life soon!

Let's take a moment to analyze the situation together.

After a divorce, it's so important for a child to spend time with their dad, especially when they're young and need the love and care of both parents. But when the ex-husband makes disrespectful demands, like staying in a hotel room, it can be really tough for the mother.

On the one hand, she wants to meet the child's needs and let him feel the presence of his father's love. On the other hand, she doesn't want to lose her dignity in the face of her ex-husband's disrespect, and she doesn't want the child to be hurt in this environment.

It's so hard when you're in this situation. The mother may feel helpless, angry, or even desperate because she not only has to deal with her ex-husband's inappropriate behavior, but also with her child's emotional needs.

At the same time, she may also have doubts about her abilities and be unsure of how to make the right choice in this complicated relationship.

Reassure your little one.

When you're dealing with this issue, it's really important to focus on how your child is feeling. Kids are so innocent, and they shouldn't have to be caught in the middle of their parents' disagreements.

So, it's really important that the mother tries to communicate with the child in a calm and rational manner to let them understand their situation and difficulties.

Specifically, the mother can tell the child, "I know Dad wants to see you, and I really want you to be with him, too. We all love you very much, and we're here for you no matter what."

"Sometimes, though, Dad's behavior might make Mum feel a little uncomfortable. We can work through this together." Through this kind of communication, the mother can let the child know that their feelings are important, and at the same time let them understand that the parents' problems will not affect their love for their children.

It's also a great idea to encourage your little ones to share their feelings and let them know that they can always chat with you about anything. This will make them feel safe and help them to feel less stressed.

How can we work through this together?

It's so important to stay calm and rational when faced with your ex-husband's disrespectful demands. Try not to let anger or emotions get the better of you. Instead, use clear thinking to analyze the problem and find a suitable solution.

It's important to be clear when rejecting your ex-husband's disrespectful demands. At the same time, you can explain your position and principles to him so that he understands why his behavior is unacceptable.

Seek support: Mothers can turn to their loved ones, friends, or even professionals for a helping hand. They can provide a shoulder to lean on and words of wisdom to help mothers get through this tough time.

If the ex-husband's behavior crosses the line into harassment or becomes a threat, the mother can also consider seeking help from legal institutions.

It's so important to set some ground rules for meetings. After all, we want to protect the rights and interests of the mother and child. So, why not negotiate with the ex-husband to set some simple rules? For example, they can agree to meet in public places to avoid being alone. Or, they can ask a third party to accompany them to ensure that the meeting is safe and respectful.

These simple rules can help reduce conflict and misunderstanding, so that your little one can spend time with their dad in a happy, harmonious environment.

It's so important to pay attention to the emotional needs of the child when dealing with the relationship with the ex-husband. The mother can really help her children by understanding their feelings through communication with them and giving them lots of love and support.

At the same time, she can help the kids see things in a positive way. She can show them that their parents' decisions are made out of love and concern for them.

If you're a mom and you're feeling overwhelmed, it's okay to ask for help! You can find a professional counselor who can offer guidance and advice on how to navigate this tricky situation.

Summary I hope this summary has been helpful for you!

The issue of children meeting their father after a divorce is a complex and sensitive topic. When faced with disrespectful demands from their ex-husband, it's so important for mothers to remain calm and rational, and clearly express their position and principles.

It's also important to remember to take care of your little ones' emotional needs and give them lots of love and support. By setting some simple rules for meetings, getting help and advice when you need it, and making sure you're coping well yourself, you can make sure your kids grow up happy and healthy.

It's important to remember that your feelings and dignity are just as important as anyone else's. Here are some suggestions to help you deal with this complex situation:

It's time to set some clear boundaries with your ex!

Before meeting with your ex, it's a great idea to send a quick message or give him a call to make sure you're both on the same page. Let him know that this meeting is all about your child's happiness and that you're not looking to reconcile.

Be clear with him that you won't accept any insults or inappropriate demands. Let him know that if he keeps this up, you'll end the meetings and consider legal options.

It's time to boost your self-protection awareness!

It's a great idea to meet your ex-husband with friends or relatives, or even in a public place! That way, you can all enjoy the meeting together and ensure your safety.

If your ex-husband makes unreasonable demands, such as "opening a hotel room," you have every right to refuse and make it clear that this behavior is unacceptable.

It's so important to communicate with your child!

Tell your child that although dad is an important part of his/her life, sometimes adult relationships can become complicated. Make sure your child understands that the meetings are for his/her benefit, not to get back together—and that's a good thing!

Let your child know that it's totally normal to have feelings, and that you're always there for them, no matter what!

Get the support you need! Seek legal and psychological support:

If your ex-husband's behavior continues to be inappropriate, you have the power to take legal action to protect the interests of yourself and your children!

Seek help from a counselor to deal with the resulting emotional distress and learn how to protect yourself and your children in this situation. This is an amazing opportunity for you to learn how to take control of your life and your children's lives!

It's time to build self-confidence!

Get out there and learn new skills! Join social activities and meet new people. These activities will help you feel more confident and empowered.

Keep in touch with your family and friends who support you. They're a great source of confidence!

Now, for the big moment! It's time to respond to your ex-husband's request to have sex in a hotel.

You have the power to set boundaries and protect your relationship with your children! When you refuse such requests in a firm and clear manner, you're not just standing up for yourself, but also for the parent-child bond.

If he keeps making these demands, it's time to put a stop to it! You have every right to protect your rights and those of your children through legal means.

Above all, remember how amazing you are! You have the right to say no to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or is insulting.

At the same time, there's so much to gain from maintaining a respectful and cooperative relationship with the ex-husband. It's a great way to ensure your child's healthy growth!

Hello, I'm Strawberry!

Divorce is not always about parents being selfish and only considering their own feelings. In fact, divorce does not mean that parents are being irresponsible towards their children. It can only be said that when faced with a marriage full of conflicts, choosing to divorce is sometimes a relief and a new beginning, rather than torturing each other.

Let's dive into the real reason for the marriage breakdown!

Facing an irreparable marriage, the questioner and her partner made the empowering choice to divorce. In order to give their child complete love, they let their child know that even though their parents are no longer living together, the love they give their child is the same or even greater than before—and that's something to celebrate!

During parent-child interaction meetings, it's so important for the child to have his father there to meet the host, especially since the child is still young. Many couples find that they have many shortcomings when they're too close, but that's okay!

After separating, they can get along harmoniously! They have reflected on their failed marriage and seen the problems that caused the conflict. They have truly let go. A husband and wife were once the closest of partners. After letting go of the past, they can at least refrain from confronting each other, even if they cannot be harmonious, for the sake of their children.

From the questioner's words, it is clear that the questioner's ex-husband has not yet had the chance to reflect on the consequences of the divorce, nor has he realized his own problems. During parent-child interaction time, he does not yet care about whether he brings happiness and joy to his children, but instead focuses on his own sexual needs and even demands that the questioner satisfy his sexual needs.

After being rejected by the questioner, he even verbally hurt the questioner to achieve his desired goal. From the behavior of the questioner's ex-husband, the questioner can be said to have made the right decision in choosing to divorce. It is not that the questioner feels disrespected, but that in the mind of the questioner's ex-husband, he has never learned to respect the questioner. This is also the real reason for your divorce, and it's a great reason!

How should I face this relationship?

The couple chose to divorce because they realized that they needed to move on from a marriage that had reached a point where neither of them could solve it on their own. Parents have the amazing opportunity to choose the life they want, and they can't ignore their innocent children. Responsible parents, especially, have the chance to truly let go of the past because of their children's various problems.

☀️ Refuse unnecessary contact: The questioner is the mother of the child. In normal circumstances, when the questioner meets with the child, even if it is just the two of them, the child needs his father to accompany him. This is probably the ex-husband's petty mind, as can be seen from the requests he makes every time they meet.

And there's more! You also need to be able to tell whether he'll try to use the child to entangle you. In normal times, regardless of whether your ex-husband contacts you or not, you can confidently refuse to pay any attention.

Once the questioner has her own principles and perseverance, her ex-husband will see that she is no longer the wife he can manipulate and that she deserves respect. He will realize that her current relationship is no longer one he can casually attack and bully.

☀️ Think more: The questioner cares about and loves her children. She knows that every meeting will be unpleasant and that she will be subjected to her ex-husband's cold words, but she still goes to the appointment. For the sake of her children, she continues to put up with her ex-husband's various unreasonable behaviors.

Facing such a selfish partner, the questioner, because she can see his true colors and sees no hope for the future between the two of them, has chosen to separate. This is an opportunity for the questioner to find someone who will treat her better! Faced with such a selfish father, it can be said that it has an impact on the growth of the child. Although more parent-child contact allows the child to feel the love of the questioner,

However, once the child returns to his ex-husband's home, the love the child feels will be unstable, and the child will not be able to grow up physically and mentally healthy. But don't worry! There's still plenty you can do to help. Consider this aspect more, re-plan parent-child interactions, and try to spend more time with your child.

☀️Become stronger: When faced with her ex-husband's disrespectful behavior, the questioner didn't know how to resist forcefully, let alone how to make him change his actions and reflect on his behavior. But she can! If the questioner could change her ex-husband, then she wouldn't have chosen divorce as an outcome.

The questioner knows that she doesn't have the confidence or strength to respond correctly, and she is also clearly aware of her unpleasant emotions. But there's nothing she can't change! If she can't change her ex-husband, then she should change herself and become stronger.

In front of your ex-husband, what made the questioner not confident in herself? Well, the good news is that the questioner can make changes in the areas where she is not confident. For example, if she is not confident in her financial situation, she can try to change it. There is no need to meet any standards. When the questioner can become financially independent, maintain hobbies as appropriate, give full play to her strengths, and arrange and plan her life rhythmically, she will feel satisfied with her life, and her self-confidence will also improve.

I really hope my answer helps the questioner! Wishing you the best!

Hello, question asker! I'm June Lai Feng.

It's totally normal for kids to want to spend time with both parents after a divorce. Your ex's disrespectful behavior is unacceptable and might be affecting your emotional and psychological well-being.

I get it. It's normal to feel angry and disrespected when your ex-husband disrespects you and makes unreasonable demands.

It's totally understandable that you feel this way, and you have every right to refuse any behavior that makes you feel disrespected or uncomfortable.

Let's look at this from a psychological point of view.

Your ex-husband's disrespectful behavior may make you feel angry and dissatisfied. His unpredictable behavior may make you feel anxious and fearful, worrying that he may harm you or the children. His disrespectful behavior may make you feel inferior and helpless, feeling unable to cope with the situation. These emotions may stem from disappointment in your ex-husband's behavior and concerns about your own rights and interests.

Your self-confidence might have taken a hit, which could be down to the adjustment period after the divorce and getting used to your new role.

On the one hand, you have to deal with your ex-husband because of your kids. It's normal to feel conflicted and helpless in that situation. It's also normal to feel angry and resentful after being hurt by your ex-husband's words.

On the other hand, a lack of confidence and strength to respond may come from problems in the previous marriage, or there may still be some complex emotions towards the ex-husband, or the sense of self-worth may not have been well established, which makes it difficult to know how to respond in this situation. This internal conflict and entanglement will make you feel very uncomfortable.

When it comes to the child's emotions, they might ask to be with their mum when they see their dad because they need someone they know to be there to help them feel safe. This shows that the child might be worried about being on their own with their dad, which could be because they're confused about the divorce or unsure about what their dad is doing.

Young children naturally depend on and emotionally need their parents. They want both parents to be around because they need security and emotional connection.

Your ex-husband's behavior might be a sign that he's not aware of his own boundaries. He hasn't recognized the changes in the relationship since the divorce and is still trying to get along with his ex-wife in an inappropriate way. His disrespectful and sarcastic comments might reflect some unhealthy psychology, like trying to boost his sense of worth by putting others down or expressing his dissatisfaction with his ex-wife or desire for control in this way.

Your ex-husband's behavior might be a sign that he's struggling to cope with the divorce and his relationship with you. Setting clear boundaries is important not just to protect your rights and interests, but also to set the right expectations for behavior with your children.

To change this situation, you need to work on your self-awareness and sense of worth, make sure you know your boundaries with your ex-husband, respond to his unreasonable behavior with a firmer and more confident attitude, and at the same time pay attention to your mental health and emotional regulation to better handle this complex relationship and emotions.

First, take a firm stand and let your ex-husband know that you don't accept his disrespectful behavior and that you want him to stop. Being able to communicate effectively and express your feelings in a confident way, for example by saying something like, "I feel disrespected, and I hope we can focus on the needs of our children," can help you express your feelings more confidently.

Second, set some boundaries and make sure your ex-husband knows that you want to maintain a purely parent-child relationship without any other inappropriate behavior.

If you feel unsafe or threatened, you can call the police or get legal help.

Then, try to avoid meeting alone and being alone with your ex-husband, especially in situations that might lead to inappropriate behavior. You can choose to meet in public places or with other people.

Next, work on your self-confidence and self-esteem. You have the right to refuse unreasonable demands. Focus on your growth and development. Become stronger and more independent.

Above all, believe in your ability to handle the situation and don't let your ex-husband's behavior affect your life. At the same time, pay attention to your child's emotional and psychological health and provide him with a stable, safe, and healthy environment in which to grow up.

Happy Mother's Day! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Hugging you, hugging? Can you feel the love? It's okay if you're feeling a little surprised. It might be that the father wants to show the child more love and attention, which is great! It's also normal for him to say something disrespectful to you and not know how to deal with it. You're in a situation that can make you feel anxious and overwhelmed, but you're doing great!

However, remember that everyone has their own value and dignity, including yourself and your partner. Don't feel ashamed or self-deprecating! You have every right to refuse anything you are not willing to do.

First, if you're feeling unsure about how to respond to the other person's request, try communicating directly and expressing your feelings and confusion. You can tell the other person that you're a little confused and upset, but you'll get through this!

Second, if you feel scared or upset, you can seek support. And you should! Sharing your feelings and confusion with family, friends, or professionals can help and support you.

Most importantly, remember to be your own best friend! Don't let the actions of others affect your self-esteem and confidence.

If you feel unable to cope with the situation, don't worry! There are plenty of amazing professionals out there who can help, such as counselors and therapists.

Remember, you are amazing and you have the power to choose the response that suits you best! Everyone has their own feelings and needs, as well as their own unique way of dealing with problems. You are unique, so you get to choose how you respond!

You have the right to protect yourself and make choices that are in your best interests! This issue may be difficult to deal with, but you can do it! I'm cheering you on!