After the holiday, do you feel emotionally drained? Is it separation anxiety?

Hello, I'm Gu Daoxifeng, your heart exploration coach, and I'm ready to help you on your journey to a healthier, happier you!

This year has been the most incredible New Year's Eve I've ever had since the pandemic began! I went back to my mother's house with my child and chatted with my siblings about life. It was so inspiring to feel that no matter how far away I am from home, I will always have people who love me around me. It even gave me the urge to have another child to make sure my own child never grows up lonely!

The New Year is a time for family reunions! It's a great chance to catch up with your siblings, friends, and relatives that you don't usually see. The New Year is a precious opportunity to get together and celebrate.

Absolutely! There's nothing wrong with finding a reason to get together. And whether or not you play happily together may depend on the people you see. So, the questioner may want to try asking themselves: Do these people want to go to these gatherings and meet these people? If so, then perhaps the happiness comes from the heart and has nothing to do with acting.

People are social animals, and there's nothing better than being around other people! Moving from the hustle and bustle of a group of people to the solitude of being alone requires an adjustment period. But it's worth it! Two people are livelier than one, with emotions to share, happiness to accompany, and sadness to share. It's better than being alone in any way!

Some people are the only one who is sober when everyone else is drunk. The more lively it is, the more lonely they feel. The questioner may try to feel if this loneliness only occurs when they are alone, or if it also occurs when they are back in the circle of contact with others. If it is the former, it will take time to adapt from being in a group to being alone. If it is the latter, it's an opportunity to explore whether the questioner's inner world is prone to loneliness!

If you're a sentimental soul who yearns for love, you're in luck! You may be more sensitive to changes in emotions and the environment, and have a stronger ability to capture them. So, why not try telling yourself that parting is for a better encounter, and that looking forward to the reunion next year will make you feel better?

The questioner may try to accept the existence of this emotion in themselves, try to distinguish between separation anxiety and state adaptation, and—get this—acceptance itself will also reduce our sense of unease and make us feel better!

There are so many ways you can adjust your state! Try participating in interpersonal interactions, shopping, reading, and more. These activities can help distract you and help you feel more in control.

Give yourself some time to adjust! It takes a little while to get used to a new change. Allowing yourself to embrace new changes and giving yourself time to adapt will help you become more self-consistent.

You've got this! Try keeping an emotional diary, recording the causes of your anxiety, and setting up targeted adjustment plans. This will give you a greater sense of control and help you feel more in charge of your life.

I highly recommend reading "Burns Anxiety Self-Help Therapy" and "Burns New Emotion Therapy"!

Wishing you the very best!

Hello. The feelings you mentioned are pretty common. One of the main things people talk about with the "long vacation syndrome" is fatigue and anxiety.

In today's world, family members, old classmates, and old friends often live in different places and don't get to see each other much. They usually only get to catch up during the holidays. Especially during a holiday like Spring Festival, which is all about reuniting and spending time together, it seems like "being happy together" has become a mission that everyone is trying to accomplish.

So, the whole holiday experience is pretty different from normal life. We need to get into the swing of things and do our part pretty quickly.

While intense parties and entertainment can be fulfilling, they can also be exhausting. Many people feel like they're constantly rushing from one event to the next. People have a strong need for stability. Meals, sleep, work, study, and leisure all follow a consistent rhythm, and the holiday schedule can disrupt this, which is also related to consumption.

When the holiday is over, we have to quickly get back into our old routine. It can feel like the last few days never happened, which can be hard to adjust to. For people who have to leave their hometown, relatives and friends behind, it will be particularly tough to adapt because our emotions and moods don't switch on and off like a "switch." Our emotional changes are a process, and short-term high-frequency fluctuations often lead to anxiety and fatigue.

From a psychological standpoint, separation anxiety tends to be more persistent and recurring, with intense anxiety, uneasiness, or even fear of being separated from familiar environments or people. It often makes the person afraid of relationship breakdown—for example, separation can feel like abandonment—and sometimes leads to physical and social functional effects.

General post-holiday anxiety isn't usually a big deal. It's more of a natural emotional response to certain situations. You can keep an eye on how you're feeling and how it's affecting your life. If you feel like it's getting out of hand, you can get a professional assessment.

If it's just a short-term reaction, you can try getting back to your daily routine to help you feel more in control.

I truly believe that feeling fulfilled is often more about your state of mind. It doesn't have to be about entertainment or being with other people. It can be about doing something meaningful or rewarding.

Have you ever noticed that the time seems to fly by during the holidays?

It's probably because during this time, we're often just killing time. Whether we're entertaining ourselves or others as an audience, we're always trying to fit in. And at the same time, we don't need to worry about the consequences, so we can relax. For all these reasons, time seems to pass quickly, and we don't feel much of it.

We've all been there! When we feel like time is running out, it's often because we're focusing on one thing. And when we feel like time is dragging, it's probably because we're not super excited about doing something.

Happiness is not being overdrawn. We just get attached to a moment before that made us happy and want to keep the memory of it. But when we come to our senses, we'll see that many things are still following one after another, making us a little breathless.

I think this is probably how holiday syndrome emerges. It's a combination of external and internal factors. So, it's important to learn to adjust our mentality and find our own rhythm, which may be better.

Hi, I'm Mo Xiaofan, a heart exploration coach. If you have any concerns or need to talk about something, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my personal page. I'm here to listen and support you.

Hello, dear stranger! I've read your words and I feel your nostalgia for the holidays, as well as your lonely heart. I've also read your confusion. You long for the hustle and bustle and are reluctant to give up the lively holiday life. Could this be a kind of separation anxiety?

First, if we want to solve psychological confusion, we need to know what separation anxiety is.

Separation anxiety is a normal, natural response to the emotional distress experienced by infants and young children when they are separated from their loved ones.

I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. It's that sadness and pain that a baby or toddler feels when they form an intimate emotional bond with someone and then have to separate from them, as a way of refusing to part. This anxiety should have occurred when the baby or toddler was young, but because you were not helped by your parents to resolve the separation conflict, this separation anxiety has accompanied you as you grew up, becoming an emotional obstacle and an invisible wound deep within your heart.

That is, deep down inside, you might feel a lack of security and a lack of love has led to your loneliness.

I'm not sure if you feel sad and hurt inside, but I'm here to help.

You said you feel lonely, and I totally get it! When you can't calm your emotions, that's why you'll go to the 壹心理 platform to ask questions and hope that someone will lend a helping hand to help you.

I think so!

Secondly, we'll chat about ways to help you feel more at ease with separation anxiety.

I'm guessing you're around my age, so I'll speak to you like that.

If you're in school, you can start to become more independent. This could mean doing chores by yourself, going shopping or even watching movies on your own. It's a great way to learn to do things on your own and to reduce your dependence on others. If you're in primary school, you can have a chat with your parents about how you can become more independent and reduce your dependence on them.

If you're an adult in a profession like teaching or a college or graduate student with summer and winter vacations, we'd love for you to check out the link below.

Separation is a natural part of life, and love is a way of coping with it.

It's totally normal to feel a bit scared when you're apart from your loved ones. It's a natural feeling, and it's okay to have it! It's just a matter of recognizing that it's a subconscious worry, and that you're not really aware of it. So, it's important to be aware of the emotions that arise within you and give yourself a little TLC.

And you also need to accept that.

It's okay to feel this way sometimes. We all have to learn to love ourselves.

"People are destined to part, no one can live without the other."

"Love is always changing, and that's okay!"

"The world is not perfect, and there's no such thing as unconditional love."

It's only natural that we'll all experience some form of separation in our lives. After all, we can't stay together forever! But even though we'll naturally part ways, separation is actually another kind of meeting.

Take some time for yourself, sweetheart.

Try some fun aerobic exercises like yoga, badminton, running, or meditation!

Take some time to connect with your body.

Or, you know what else can help you relax? Travel! Go to famous scenic spots, go see mountains and rivers, connect with nature, and breathe in the fresh air.

It's a great idea to develop interests and hobbies, seek personal development, and broaden your social boundaries!

I remember a psychological effect that I think you'll find really interesting. It's called the neutralizing effect. When you face separation, you will feel unspeakable sadness or loneliness, as if you have been abandoned. In fact, others have no intention of abandoning you or isolating you. It is your illusion, so you cannot immerse yourself in the feeling of separation and become unable to extricate yourself. Instead, you should explore the beautiful future and not lower your expectations for the future.

And finally, I just want to wish you all the very best!

Hello. I see you.

The expectations and homecoming before the Chinese New Year; the reunion and bustle during the Chinese New Year; the quiet and pressure after the Chinese New Year create a big gap for people, no doubt about it. The Chinese New Year is like firecrackers and fireworks – it is lively and then quiet.

We enjoy gathering together, but we don't like to part ways. We also know that all good things must come to an end, and that there is no banquet that doesn't end.

Your experience is real and normal. Many people feel the same way.

Let's talk more about the other feelings you mentioned.

1. Regarding "emotional overdraft"

You said the various activities during the Chinese New Year have caused you to "emotionally overdraw." I agree. These days, young people want to express themselves freely and live diverse lives. But during family and friend gatherings during the Chinese New Year, they tend to hide some of their individuality and embrace some unified expressions. That's what you mean by "playing happily together."

We are deeply involved in it, and we also suppress a part of ourselves for the sake of the collective. This undoubtedly leads to some "emotional overdraft."

2. About "separation anxiety"

When we were young, we often expressed our reluctance to leave home and go to school. As we grew up, we gradually felt the need to "mature," and we stopped expressing ourselves in this way, even suppressing our feelings to some extent.

However, our feelings are real, and we just really don't want to part. This is not a problem. I don't know if you used the term "separation anxiety" because you think it is a "problem" that needs to be solved, but it is not.

You think growing up means you shouldn't be reluctant to leave home?

I am confident that the above perspective will be helpful to you. Best regards!

Good morning, my name is Coach Yu, and I would be grateful for the opportunity to discuss this topic with you.

Emotional perception is our ability to recognize, control, and regulate our emotions, and it is also a manifestation of emotional intelligence.

In "The Plastic Me," Chen Jiejun suggests that many people may find it challenging to cope with their emotions and navigate life's challenges because they often confuse feelings, emotions, and thoughts.

Perhaps it would be helpful to define what we mean by "feelings." We can think of feelings as the physiological and biological responses of the human body to external stimuli.

For instance, if someone were to stab you with a needle, you would feel pain. Similarly, if the north wind were to blow in the winter, you would feel cold. It could be said that feelings encompass not only reactions to external stimuli, but also to internal stimuli.

As the questioner wrote, after the holiday ended, I found myself feeling somewhat emotionally drained.

Perhaps we could define emotion as people's reaction to feelings.

For instance, if the surrounding environment is very hot, it can cause sweaty palms and an accelerated heartbeat. Emotions and feelings may manifest as irritability or excitement when the body is enthusiastic and the heartbeat is accelerating. It is thought that emotions and feelings generally respond through the peripheral nervous system of the nervous system.

As the questioner wrote, I find myself feeling somewhat lonely and nostalgic for the hustle and bustle of the holidays. I also feel that perhaps my happiness has been somewhat depleted.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this. It could be defined as how a person understands and interprets their feelings and emotions.

It seems that thoughts generally do not arise in the peripheral nervous system, but in the central nervous system, as they involve understanding and interpretation.

As the questioner wrote, holiday life fills me up, but it seems to be just a reason to briefly come together. Could it be that I'm suffering from separation anxiety?

Next, we will take another look at this process to see if we can gain a deeper understanding of the changes in our emotions and how we can manage and express them in a way that helps us to perceive our emotions more clearly.

Perhaps we could try to ask ourselves: What were my thoughts at the various parties and entertainment activities during the holidays? What emotions and feelings did they bring about?

Could I ask you to share your thoughts after the holiday is over? I would also be very interested to hear what emotions and feelings you think it brings up in you.

Perhaps we could also try to ask ourselves, at the end of the holiday, what it is about being lonely that I feel more and miss the hustle and bustle of the holiday. What is it about being lonely that I feel? What is it about missing the holiday that I feel?

Could you kindly elaborate on the underlying need that arises when one is contemplating separation anxiety?

Perhaps we could also try to ask ourselves: what do these thoughts remind me of? And if the anxious emotions could speak at this moment, what would they say to me?

It may be helpful to view feelings, emotions, and thoughts as a coordination between the nervous system and the brain. When this relationship is harmonious, it can contribute to a sense of inner peace.

It is always possible to be aware of our emotions, to try to reconcile with them, and when negative emotions such as anxiety arise, to promptly say "stop", take a deep breath, and quietly watch them without any judgement. It may be helpful to allow the emotions to come and go freely like clouds, and to drift away slowly like fallen leaves in the water. You may also find it useful to record what you are feeling at the moment.

Your writing is for your own benefit, so please feel free to express your feelings honestly and openly. This will help us gain insight into the origins and effects of our emotions and also help us identify the root causes of our problems.

At the same time, it might be helpful to consider making some buffer arrangements for our recent work or study and life. It's okay to allow ourselves occasional nostalgia and anxiety, slowly accept the status quo, and slowly say goodbye to the holidays. It's important to respect your own emotional rhythm.

If this is something that is troubling you, it might be helpful to seek support from someone you trust, such as a family member or friend. You might also consider speaking with a counselor, as emotional release can be beneficial in helping to alleviate feelings of heaviness and blockage in the heart.

It would be beneficial to continue exploring the path of self-improvement and self-awareness, just as the questioner, to perceive and feel from the little things in life. With time, we will gradually discover our own unique value and construct a self-assessment system, which will help us to face life with greater ease.

You might find it helpful to read "The Plastic Me."

My dear friend, I totally get where you're coming from. In today's fast-paced world, we're often caught up in a whirlwind of activity and stress, seeking a quick escape and some much-needed relaxation. Holiday gatherings and entertainment activities can be a great way to unwind, but when they're over, we might feel a bit adrift and lonely because we haven't found that deep sense of connection and fulfilment we're all searching for.

It's totally normal to feel this way after a holiday or special event. Many people experience something similar.

Separation anxiety is when you feel anxious when you're apart from someone you love. It can happen when you're on holiday, but it can also happen when you come back. It's totally normal! What you're feeling is more like a "post-holiday blues," which is a common emotional response.

It's totally normal to feel a little anxious after a holiday. We're all used to interacting and connecting with others, and when that contact is temporarily interrupted, it can make us feel a bit uneasy and lonely.

To help you cope with this feeling, try to get back to your normal daily routine as soon as you can after the holiday is over. This will help your body and mind to adjust. Take some time to think about what you are really looking for.

Is it a temporary escape or a deeper sense of connection and fulfillment? It's so important to know your needs so you can find ways to satisfy them!

In the days that follow, setting new goals and plans for yourself can help us stay positive and excited about the future. If you feel suddenly disconnected from friends on holiday and feel lonely, you can share each other's daily lives through social media or the phone.

It's totally normal to feel lonely and lost sometimes. We all go through these feelings, and they're just part of our emotional experience. The good news is that we can gradually adapt to and overcome these feelings through positive actions and attitude adjustments.