Almost 3 years after graduating from university, my personality has become more introverted since starting work, and I dare not initiate communication.

Gaining insight into the mind is a wonderful thing! It can help us to share more often. I must admit, I'm a bit of a soliloquist!

It's a common misconception that a person is either introverted or extroverted. In reality, introverts can also be outgoing and extroverts can also be reserved. We're all a mix of both!

I'd love to share my thoughts on the topic of not daring to communicate actively, as the original poster mentioned.

I think communication is limited for a couple of reasons. One is that you think it's a matter of character, but I think it's more that you've been influenced by your environment.

Have you ever heard of environmental homogeneity? It basically means that when we're used to facing an environment in a certain way, we often default to this environment. It's totally normal! Even if we want to change, it can be really hard to break old habits. But don't worry, you're not alone!

I can relate to this so much! It's not that you don't want to fit in with everyone else. It's just that whenever you try to do so, you may have the words on the tip of your tongue, but inexplicably swallow them back. You do this once, twice, and even three times, and slowly you'll realize that you no longer really want to fit in with them, and you also don't really care about that circle. And that's okay! It's great to live in your own comfortable circle.

It's okay to watch dramas and play with your phone when no one is bothering you. This kind of false happiness will eventually come to an end. When you come out of your own circle and try to integrate into the wider world again, you'll realize that it's not always easy to fit in.

But one thing is for sure: if you want to communicate with others, you will always find common ground. It might feel a little strange at first, but it'll be ok! When you open your mouth again, it always takes a little courage, but you've got this!

You might be a little narrow-minded and hold a grudge sometimes. We all do! It just means you have a small frame of mind, and on a smaller scale, it means you are tying up your own thinking.

Have you ever noticed that people who are a bit petty and easily offended are usually low-level employees? It's pretty rare to find such people among managers at the middle or senior levels. I'd love to know why that is!

I want to make a really important point, and that is that there is a big difference between the levels and circles you are in. People in these levels and circles are not saying that they have never been petty or never held a grudge. They are saying that in the accumulation of daily work experience, they have been influenced by different circles and have become open-minded and people with a big perspective. This kind of situation is often acquired later in life. You like to be alone and don't like to be in groups. In today's era of interpersonal relationships, at a level like yours, if you don't take the initiative to take care of other people, why do you think other people will take the initiative to talk to you?

To put it simply, these days, relationships are all about "being a good match," which means both people have something to offer each other. This is in line with that old saying, "All the world's a stage and all the people in it are merely players."

Don't be afraid of this phenomenon! It's just a workplace interpersonal rule. If you don't go with the flow and just want to live in your own space all day, how can you possibly expand your outlook on life?

Don't limit your thinking to a limited space, my friend! Go out boldly, and you will see a different landscape, meet different people, and slowly your circle will become enriched.

And finally, a few words to leave you with:

You're not the center of the world, sweetheart. You're just one little dot on a big map. Out there, no one is living up to your expectations. I know it's a harsh reality, but it's also a gentle reminder that the world is a big, beautiful place and there's so much to explore.

Hello!

I'm so happy you asked this question! I really hope my advice will be helpful to you.

I totally get it. It's a common issue for introverts when they start a new job or join a new team. They often feel a bit out of their depth, don't interact much with their colleagues, and take a little while to settle in.

There's no need to rush. Many introverts find this a challenge, but it's simply a matter of changing the way they communicate and interact. The good news is that being an introvert has little to do with being able to integrate into a team. Teams already have a variety of personalities! So, whether you're an extrovert, an introvert, impatient, unsociable, or anything in between, you can find your place and integrate well.

In a team, the role of the practitioner is really important. If you're not comfortable expressing yourself, there are still lots of other ways you can contribute. Getting stuck in practical work is a great way to build your confidence. But at the end of the day, teamwork is all about communication and understanding.

Even if you're an introvert, don't be afraid to speak up if you have an idea or think the current task isn't the best fit. It's through open communication and discussion that we can all contribute to creating the best solutions and results.

If you always keep your thoughts to yourself, no one will know what you are thinking, which may not only delay your work, but also lead to misunderstandings among team members. In short, don't resist cooperation because of your personality. Once you have this mentality, you will naturally reject others on the team, which is definitely not what we want! Just do your best to try to fit in and be your true self.

Hello, I'm Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who likes to use images to explain things.

From what I've read, it seems like there's a little girl wrapped in a transparent cover.

From what you've told me, I can see you after work, and I'm curious about what you were like before work. She was also an introverted girl, but how did she interact with her classmates?

Does she have any good friends? How did she meet, get to know, and become friends with those strange classmates?

Humans are social animals and need relationships to survive. But you can control the distance in a relationship, which can be close or far. For example, nowadays, even if someone doesn't go out for a month, as long as they have a mobile phone with money on it, they'll be fine. Delivery boys can take care of our lives at the "summon." We don't have to bargain, compete, or be suspicious.

Now you're in a group at work, and it's a different ballgame than it was when you were a student. When faced with complex situations, you tend to protect yourself with a "glass bubble." This glass bubble can indeed protect you, but it also isolates you. Colleagues can actually feel that there is something between you and them.

As you mentioned, when your colleagues were sharing food, they left you out. Maybe they didn't really want to do that. They probably just couldn't find a way to interact with you. They couldn't just break the glass, for fear of hurting you and themselves.

And when it comes to communicating with your boyfriend, you're in a passive state, adopting an evasive approach, as if you're afraid that his passion will overwhelm you. When you're engrossed in TV dramas or variety shows, what's it like to be immersed in your own world?

Is it a sense of security? It seems that people who tend to avoid attachment do have a harder time forming close relationships with others. But as long as you're willing to make adjustments, you can improve and reconstruct your attachment.

So, what are the hallmarks of an avoidant attachment? A lack of security, a lack of love, a sense of distance (including psychological distance), an inability to form close relationships, inferiority complexes, extreme face-saving, learned helplessness, independence and resistance to social interaction, quick mood changes, internal conflicts, a fondness for cold violence, nitpicking about their significant other, fear of conflict, dislike of making demands, possessing outstanding qualities, being sensitive and delicate, and so on. These are common characteristics of avoidant personality types. However, because of individual temperament types and degrees of avoidance, the manifestations are different. Not everyone with an avoidant personality has all of the above characteristics.

You're wondering how to regulate your emotions. Given that I don't know your upbringing, I don't think I can give you advice that will be of much use. Everyone can understand the reasoning behind your feelings, but you can't unblock the feeling of being unable to speak and having what you want to say stuck in your throat with reasoning.

It's crucial to work hard to correct your perception, build self-confidence, gain inner peace, and be able to feel loved and loving.

How can I adjust my perception of myself? You can read more books to discover the world and your true self through objective descriptions in the books, and slowly adjust your incorrect past perceptions. You can find this in a safe and stable relationship. From your description, I can tell that your boyfriend is stable and tolerant. Try to tell him how you feel, and it will slowly help you recognize yourself again. You can also seek help from a psychological counselor. We can help you get out of it through professional means. If you can establish a good counseling relationship, this is actually the safest and most stable path to growth.

I hope this analysis and the suggestions I've made are helpful to you. If you'd like to discuss this further or need more support, you're welcome to make an appointment for psychological counseling. Best wishes!