Although you won the labor arbitration, do you still feel a bit sad about accepting the outcome?

You see yourself as a fair person who wants to stand up for yourself when you're bullied, but you also understand the other person's perspective. When you think about how you've been treated unfairly, though, it makes you feel pretty aggrieved.

First, adjust. You said you'd drag it on and waste time, and that's what you've done. Getting more money isn't necessarily the best choice for you. I don't know if you've found a good job, but when you do, just turn the page and go to a new environment.

Just a heads-up: Labor arbitration isn't recorded during the mediation stage. If a trial does happen, it'll be recorded. The next company you work for will probably be concerned about whether you're a troublemaker.

A successful mediation is a good thing, even if it means getting back less money. Think more positively about it.

Second, think back to what negotiation skills the company representative used in this mediation. You can learn from the other party, too. First, they suppressed the other party. They were more imposing and threw mud at the other party to make them angry.

After getting his emotions all worked up, he became soft and close, making you feel sorry for him. He gave you a sweet treat after a slap in the face, making you doubt your own decisions and demands, and reduce your demands out of sympathy.

Ultimately, going to labor arbitration isn't the best way to end things. It's a good opportunity to reflect on what you did.

If it's the company's problem, you might want to be a bit more careful when choosing a company next time.

If it's the leader's problem, then in your next job, you should also learn how to get along with your leader and protect yourself. And of course, you should also think about what you can improve.

Best of luck!

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to inquire about your experience. I am eager to hear your thoughts on the matter. Best regards, [Your name]

In your initial statement, you indicated that you had prevailed in the arbitration process. However, you still appear to be experiencing negative emotions. I believe the underlying cause of these emotions may be:

[Indeed, you experienced a significant decline in interest in the arbitration process, and the outcome differed considerably from your initial expectations.

As a result, you feel a great deal of regret and unease about the way you handled the situation. You believe that you were influenced by their various tactics during mediation and that the outcome did not align with your expectations.

When your interests are harmed, you may be inclined to tolerate the other party's actions and tactics. On the one hand, you may feel frustrated, but on the other hand, you are compelled to accept the outcome. It is natural to experience a range of emotions in such a situation.

First and foremost, it is only natural to feel a certain degree of discomfort in such a situation. It is therefore important to allow yourself to experience these feelings.

Secondly, it is important to forgive yourself. You are not a professional, and this was your first experience in this type of situation. Your reaction was understandable. Due to your eagerness to close the case, you made a decision and followed the other party's pace, which successfully achieved the goal of quickly closing the case.

Third, your compassion for the other person demonstrates that you are a kind individual, and that is why you are unable to tolerate the difficulties she has described. While a person can earn money again if they survive in society, kindness is the most valuable quality in human nature.

[Like your kindness?] Naturally, they also took advantage of this and became angry.

Fourth, acknowledge your losses and take responsibility for your actions. Affirm that you lost money in this mediation because you were kind and inexperienced.

Fifth, this matter is concluded and no longer requires your attention. There are always opportunities for financial gain. Continue to pursue them.

Furthermore, it is worth considering whether the non-payment is having a significant impact on your life.

Regarding the comments made by the other party about you and their negative assessment, it is evident that they are expressing their own character and views. It is advisable to maintain your own course of action and not be influenced by their remarks.

As long as you have a clear conscience, you can be confident that you have not misled anyone.

Consider another perspective. If you truly desire the amount you expect, will the other party allow it to go unresolved? If they do not, you may encounter further challenges.

Therefore, the adage "break the bank to avoid disaster" is applicable in this context.

It is impossible to predict the future, but one thing is certain: misfortune and blessings are interdependent.

The combination of causes and conditions is the truth. Accept this truth, adjust your attitude, and resume your financial activities.

Hello!

Your question made me think of how you must feel. Dear Hug

When reality and expectations don't match, you'll feel lost.

This is normal! I've had something similar happen, but it was about consumer rights.

I felt lost and miserable. I thought I hadn't caused the other party any actual losses. I'd only paid a deposit and hadn't used any services.

You can get some of your money back, but the other party has been vague.

No response.

This is because there is a difference between what we expect and what happens, which makes us feel bad.

"Psychological attrition" in mediation and arbitration

After the other party couldn't produce evidence, they tried to attack you. Then they tried to find out about your parents and use it to pressure you into compromising.

You will feel terrible. You will feel like you've made a mistake. You will feel pressure.

This process is draining and affects your normal life and mental state. You don't want this to continue, so you just agree.

Take action and create value.

I understand why you feel bad. You've worked hard but haven't been rewarded. It makes you feel worthless.

Dear, find your value in other things! Look for it in the things you like and are curious about. You are good and valuable.

You deserve better.

I hope my answer helps. I love you!

Hello, question asker!

From your account, it's clear that initially, the company was at fault and you had evidence to prove it. The other party had no evidence and was just trying to sling mud at you. You didn't want to drag it on for too long and felt the mediator was kind. The amount was less than you could have originally got, but you still agreed. You felt the mediator might have been trying to complete the case settlement rate, and after you signed, the other party verbally insulted you, so you felt regretful again.

I originally reduced the amount by so much and signed, but I didn't expect the other party to be so unscrupulous and start belittling me with words again. If I had known, I wouldn't have been softhearted. I take responsibility for being gullible and softhearted. I don't know if I understand it correctly!

1. Accept the fact that it has already happened.

I understand your feelings. You blame yourself for being too soft-hearted, too easy-going, and gullible. You thought the mediator was not bad, but you realize now that they just wanted to settle the case.

It's infuriating that after I reduced the amount of money so much, the other person changed his attitude and started verbally abusing me again after signing the contract.

This incident is indeed very uncomfortable, but since it has already happened, you must accept it. Refusing to accept it will only lead to you asking, "Why me?" and "Why did I meet someone like that?"

If you keep dwelling on this matter, you are only fighting against yourself and against the fact that has already happened. You cannot change what has already happened. If you keep falling into this cycle, it will only cause more internal conflict. If you have already been unfairly treated, and you still can't let go of yourself, then you may feel even more sad.

You must accept this fact and reflect on yourself in light of this incident if you want to move forward.

2. Look at things from another perspective.

We all know that what happened was wrong. But apart from the harm it has done, is there anything positive about it? What can we learn from it?

This incident has revealed a weakness in your character. You are prone to giving in or giving up your principles easily.

Reflect on what led you to this point. Don't make the same mistake again. If you do, find a new way to deal with it that doesn't make you feel bad.

3. Learn to care for and empathize with yourself.

Caring for yourself is about improving yourself mentally and achieving mental order through self-guidance and self-care. When you feel hurt, it's time to step back. Especially when you doubt yourself the most, you need to look at yourself again and realize that these thoughts are not necessarily true and that they are hurting you.

You must always tell yourself, "Don't be so hard on yourself. Be a little more forgiving. Even if you didn't do a good job this time, who's to say you haven't made a mistake once? Just let it go."

You need to learn from your mistakes. Fighting against them is pointless!

Finally, ask yourself this: What do you think of yourself after this incident?

Tell me what you can't stand about what you did. I want to know why you can't stand it when you make mistakes.

I need to feel less bad about it. What should I do?

Tell me what this uncomfortable feeling reminds you of.

The world loves you, and I'm here to show you why.

Dear question asker, I am honored to have the opportunity to address your question.

From the questioner's description, it seems that the questioner has recently encountered a challenging situation. When faced with offense and attack from others, we may feel compelled to defend ourselves, but when others ask for reconciliation, we may be willing to consider it for the sake of maintaining a positive relationship.

We treat others with kindness, but they treat us with malice, and even make us feel weak and vulnerable. As Confucius said, "Repay kindness with kindness, repay malice with justice." What does this mean?

I believe that if someone treats me well, I will treat them well in return. Similarly, if someone treats me badly and insults me, I will do my best to respond in a way that is fair and in accordance with the rules or regulations.

In the world, there are always people who feel they are being treated preferentially, and think that as long as they can cheat others out of their money, that is a talent, and they take pride in it instead of being ashamed. In the face of these ungrateful people, we should consider that we should not let past mistakes punish ourselves.

Perhaps it would be helpful to remember that the only way to fight back against these people is to become stronger and better and better. I would like to offer the OP a supportive gesture and some encouragement.

As the question is posted on this platform, I would like to offer some advice to the questioner regarding his emotional state.

It might be helpful to accept the facts as they are.

It's happened, it's over, and it's natural to feel a sense of disappointment or unexpected hurt in the moment.

Nonetheless, acknowledging your sadness can be beneficial in helping you to recover and move on.

Take a moment to calm yourself, take a deep breath, and do nothing for a while. Allow yourself to think about how you feel, but try not to judge or analyze. You could think, "I feel sad and angry because of the other person's belittling and ungratefulness."

It can be helpful to express your feelings in a way that allows you to distinguish them from your nature. It's important to remember that how you feel is not a reflection of failure or a lack of humanity.

It may be helpful to consider that trying to ignore your emotions or deny your feelings may not be the most effective approach. In some cases, this can make it more challenging to address and work through these feelings.

It is important to allow yourself to experience your emotions.

It is understandable to experience a range of negative emotions, such as sadness, frustration, confusion, or anger, when the person who wronged you attempts to reconcile but is met with belittling or insulting behavior. It may take some time to regain composure.

It is important to understand that these negative emotions may continue to be a part of your experience for some time to come. It is not advisable to force yourself to overcome them or to try to forget about them and move on, as this may have the opposite effect.

In the days to come, the questioner may experience fluctuations in their emotions. On some days, they may feel better, but on others, they may feel sad again. If the questioner feels that these emotions are significantly impacting their work and life, they may wish to consider seeking the guidance of a professional psychological practitioner for psychological intervention.

It would be beneficial to learn to control your emotions.

It is understandable that the poster may not be able to ignore or change the emotions they experience after being hurt. However, it is possible to try to control them. Emotions are an important part of being human. They allow us to feel for others and think about others.

However, if you allow them to do so, they will inevitably take control of your life. You may wish to consider implementing some strategies to control your emotions, such as taking positive action.

For instance, if you feel that you have been treated disrespectfully by the other party after accepting mediation, you might consider putting these experiences into writing or recording a video and posting it online. Alternatively, you could discuss your feelings with your friends and family.

It might be helpful to focus on other things for a while. Before trying to think clearly again, it could be beneficial to take a break from the problem.

You might consider going for a workout or taking a trip to help you feel more upbeat.

It might be helpful to try not dwelling on the past.

It may be helpful to acknowledge that the event has caused you pain and that, when it is over, you don't have to feel bad about it anymore. It might also be beneficial to try not to let the situation affect your nature, as it is something that has happened to you.

Once you have accepted reality and attempted to move on from it, it may be helpful to consider changing your thoughts in order to avoid dwelling on the past.

To avoid dwelling on the past, it might be helpful to consider what lessons can be drawn from the situation and to make a plan to prevent any repetition of the same mistakes. It could also be beneficial to think of different ways to improve your current situation, or to write a list of the lessons you have learned.

In the aftermath of a challenging event, it is important to find the strength to move forward and take action.

Perhaps it would be helpful to allow time to heal the wound.

It is possible that past wounds may resurface at certain times and cause distress to the person in question. In such cases, it may be helpful to allow sufficient time and space for the matter to subside.

It is possible that, with the passage of time and a change in perspective, you may come to understand the reasons behind their hurtful words. When faced with past hurts, it is important to respond calmly and allow time to heal. With time, the original poster may also come to see things differently.

In the face of harm, it is important to take care of yourself, work hard to strengthen yourself, and show those who have hurt you that their actions have minimal impact on you. Otherwise, it may lead to feelings of complacency and happiness within them.

As the saying goes, those who do evil have few supporters, while those who do good have many. It is often the case that those who infringe on the interests of others do not last long. As Hanshan said, "Ten years from now, what will become of him?"

"

It is my sincere hope that my answer will be of some assistance to the questioner.

Hello!

Host:

Hi there! I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I've read your post and I totally get how you're feeling right now. It's so brave of you to share your thoughts on drinking milk and to actively seek help on this platform. I'm sure it'll help you understand yourself better and adjust your state of mind, so you can feel happier.

Next, I'd like to share my observations and thoughts from the post, which I hope will help the poster to look at the situation from a more diverse perspective.

1. I can see you're feeling pretty aggrieved, and it's only natural to feel a little sad too.

From the post, we can see that the other person is being unreasonable and even disrespectful to you. For various reasons, you have made concessions, sacrificing your own interests.

Then, of course, we'll feel a little aggrieved and maybe even a little angry with ourselves. We might even blame ourselves for being so "cowardly" at the time.

It's so frustrating when you know you're right and have the evidence, but you still don't get what you deserve. At least you should get more than you are getting now! When you think about this, I think it can really affect your mood.

So, what can we do right now? Well, we can accept our emotions and let them be there.

It's so important to remember that the more we resist our emotions, the more painful they can become.

It's like insomnia — the more you try to sleep, the more you can't sleep. So, try to accept your emotions for what they are.

2. Why not try looking at the problem from a different perspective?

I can see you've been wronged, and I'm really sorry. It seems like you've also sacrificed your own interests and haven't been respected. I can relate to that. If I put myself in your shoes, I would feel sad too.

But it seems like there's nothing we can do to change it now, right?

So, should we let this past event affect our mood? We've already suffered, but do we want to let ourselves suffer even more?

On the other hand, we can use this incident to grow ourselves! Let's see what better choices we can make in this incident.

I'm here to help you protect your own interests.

This matter is what it is, but the growth we experience through this incident will be so helpful and beneficial in our later lives, don't you think? And then, from some perspectives, is this gain not another kind of reward?

So, the original poster can now focus on the present, the part that they can control. Think about what parts of this matter you could have done better, and think about your understanding of human nature through this matter. Think about whether it is better to separate emotions and reason appropriately when dealing with things. I think all of this will be of great help to you.

3. It's okay to express your emotions.

In the post, the host mentioned he was feeling a bit down. So on the one hand, we can try to accept our emotions, and on the other hand, we can also try to express our emotions.

It's so important to express our emotions and to listen to them too. When we do this, it helps to relieve them.

So, the host can try expressing their emotions using the same methods they used before. You can also use the common psychological method of writing to express yourself.

It can be really helpful to write down our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. When we write, we can listen to our emotions and also organize them in a way that makes sense to us.

And you know what? Expressing our emotions often helps to relieve them. It can also help us to move forward more easily.

I really hope these words will be helpful and inspiring for you!

Dear Questioner, Thank you for your inquiry.

Such experiences, including encounters with unscrupulous tactics, can evoke negative emotions.

You privately anticipate the conclusion of this situation, despite having achieved a favorable outcome.

I would be pleased to speak with you and provide any assistance I can.

1. Identify and acknowledge feelings of regret.

Regret is defined as a negative cognitive emotion.

Regret is a negative emotion based on cognition. It occurs when an individual realizes or imagines that a better outcome would have resulted if a different action had been taken previously.

It is an emotion that nearly everyone has experienced, and it is particularly common.

It is particularly prevalent because there is often a discrepancy between the desired outcome and the actual result, and there is a tendency to believe that a different approach could have yielded a superior outcome.

From another perspective, it could be considered a form of self-attack.

It is not uncommon to experience regret. However, it is crucial to identify the lessons learned from such experiences and to develop strategies to avoid similar situations in the future. Additionally, it is essential to cultivate effective coping mechanisms to overcome these feelings.

2. To address any residual concerns, you may wish to consider a rationalization of your actions.

You must have your own reasons for making this decision.

For instance, you may wish to conclude the matter as soon as possible and are reluctant to engage with the other party's verbal pressure tactics or mudslinging.

At the very least, we accepted mediation and were able to resolve the issue in a relatively short period of time, although the outcome did not fully align with our expectations. However, it did meet some of our needs.

Let's put this behind us and move forward. Your success in this instance provides compelling evidence that the other party was at fault.

From this incident, it is evident that you possess a kind and sympathetic disposition.

The other person's actions are their responsibility. You have provided the best possible assistance, and your actions were appropriate.

It is not within our power to control how others behave, but we can always remain true to ourselves.

Regarding the other party's disparaging remarks, that is a matter for them to address. Despite our own reservations, we made the compromise out of sympathy for them. We had no expectation that they would behave in such a manner. We can attempt to distinguish between what is their concern and what they say, which does not imply that they are in the wrong.

This is the concept of topic separation in psychology.

While the other party is ultimately responsible for their actions, our response to them is a matter for our own conscience.

In the future, when we encounter such individuals, we should endeavor to be as kind and sympathetic as possible.

3. Gain insight from this experience.

As a result of this experience, we can learn to recognize the different ways in which people may respond to a given situation.

We can gain insight from this experience by questioning why we were so distressed.

Is it still too lenient a stance?

If the other party had been more considerate and sincere, it is likely that we would have felt a great deal better.

From this incident, we observed the different reactions of individuals in similar circumstances.

The individual then altered his tone and continued to implore me, citing various factors that had led to his current situation. These included significant pressure, a reprimand from his superior, the assertion that company funds were not his to utilize, and the claim that he was acquainted with my distant relative, who resided in the same village. Additionally, he stated that my father had also been contacted by his relative. While this interaction initially evoked a negative emotional response, it ultimately proved to be a valuable learning experience.

Should similar situations arise in the future, we can prepare ourselves in advance.

For instance, it is advisable to adhere to your initial position, refrain from getting involved in the actions of others, demand a ruling in accordance with the law, and accept the outcome of the ruling.

Please disseminate these suggestions.

Take a moment to acknowledge your feelings and wish yourself well in moving forward from this challenging situation.

Embarking on a new venture with renewed vigor and vitality.

Best regards,

Greetings. I am a mental catcher, a nationally certified second-level psychological counselor.

After a thorough examination of the account in question,

You experience a degree of regret for agreeing to conciliate, which even impairs your ability to sleep.

The defendant, with a pleading attitude, elicited a sympathetic response from you, and you ultimately agreed to terminate the mediation at a price that was nearly half of the original amount.

After signing the document, the other party verbally belittled you once more. This appeared to prompt a sudden realization that his posture of begging you was, in fact, insincere. Following this realization, remorse emerged naturally.

From the narrative, it appears that you are a benevolent individual. The other party, who had been persistently hostile and aggressive, suddenly exhibited contrition and supplication after the mediator's intervention. You appeared to have entirely forgotten the preceding events and felt compassion for him. You ultimately consented to terminate the mediation at a price that was approximately half of the original amount.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether such occurrences have transpired in the subject's life.

While kindness is undoubtedly a commendable quality, it is nevertheless important to recognize that extending kindness to someone who has caused you harm may inadvertently facilitate their ability to inflict further harm. This raises an important question: how should one navigate such a situation?

In the event of encountering an individual who may cause harm, it is essential to develop the ability to discern such individuals early on.

Your benevolence must be tempered with discernment.

The aforementioned content is intended for reference purposes only and is offered in the hope that it will prove useful. Should you have any queries, please do not hesitate to leave a message.