Always anxious and afraid of something that will never happen, catastrophic thinking, what can be done?

Hello!

After reading your account twice, I feel your anxiety. I'm here to help! I'll give you a gentle hug from a distance to show you I care. You can also use the "butterfly stroke" – crossing your arms in front of your chest and gently and regularly patting yourself – to reduce your anxiety.

You say that you have a habit of thinking, which is to "worry" before a disaster strikes, worrying about the one thing you fear the most. This is a kind of catastrophic thinking. You have put this kind of catastrophic thinking into your romantic relationship. But here's the good news! You can change your thinking and your relationship will change too!

The good news is that you can change your catastrophic thinking! You can stop worrying about losing love, being abandoned, and the impact on your relationship with your current boyfriend.

You had sex with your ex-boyfriend in your first relationship, and now you feel tainted. But you know what? That's not true!

If your current boyfriend had a relationship with his ex-girlfriend, would you think he has a blemish? So this blemish is a definition you have given yourself.

I suspect that the root cause is that you don't feel good enough, that you are dissatisfied with yourself. I suspect that if you are not good enough, it means that you are not worthy of your current boyfriend, and that you feel unworthy in your current intimate relationship. But I also suspect that you are worthy of your current boyfriend! And you are worthy of a happy, intimate relationship.

You say that your current boyfriend is very good, both families approve, and you two love each other very much. You feel that this is a blessing from God, and you are especially lucky!

But you always feel unworthy. If your current boyfriend finds out about your past relationships and discovers the blemishes you yourself have identified, it will trigger more feelings of unworthiness in you and you will become even more inferior in the relationship.

You are absolutely thrilled in your current intimate relationship! Both partners take care of each other's emotions and value each other. You adore your current boyfriend, and I suspect you already have a feeling that you are not worthy of him. You don't want anything to increase your unworthiness, and I totally get it!

You love him, and he loves you! This is your current life experience, and you feel that it is a rare and happy one that you don't want to lose.

You learned that your current boyfriend and your ex's cousin have a mutual acquaintance, and suddenly an idea popped into your head: "If they have sex and he films it and then sends the videos to your current boyfriend, your happy world will be destroyed." I guess this is highly unlikely to happen. The most likely scenario is that you will continue to encounter other setbacks in your life in the future, some of which you can imagine and some of which you cannot.

Every couple has ups and downs, and that's okay! When you encounter an obstacle, or when you encounter an obstacle in your imagination, you have the power to choose how you respond. You can choose to belittle yourself and let the feeling that you are not good enough for your current boyfriend take over, making you constantly blame yourself, regret, and worry. Or, you can choose to see this as an opportunity to grow and learn.

In a relationship, it's important to maintain a certain degree of balance. However, you don't think you're good enough, and there is a sense of unworthiness. In your eyes, this means that you are in a low position in the relationship, and you are climbing up to him. So, how can you make this relationship last long?

An unequal relationship, a self-deprecating relationship, in which there is always a feeling of not being good enough for him. How long can the relationship last?

Absolutely! Solving the root problem—that you are dissatisfied with yourself and don't think you are good enough—is the fundamental solution to the problem of being trapped in a catastrophic thought loop in the future, with all the entanglement, anxiety, and fear that it brings.

You can contact a counselor and ask them to accompany you on your journey of exploring your subconscious and understanding yourself better. They will be there for you every step of the way as you work together to break free from the cycle of catastrophic thinking that causes you to become entangled, anxious, troubled, worried, and afraid.

The world and I love you, and you should love yourself too!

First, we need to understand that your anxiety isn't just about that unpleasant past experience. It's also about the fear of future uncertainty and how this uncertainty may affect your current happy relationship.

1. Confront your fears and figure out where they come from.

Fear is often hard to pin down, but we can try to identify the root behind it. In your case, it seems like the fear may come from worrying about the unknown. It's like you're worried that something from the past will suddenly intrude into your reality in some way and have a devastating effect on your existing happiness.

This fear is stopping you from relaxing and enjoying your time with your current boyfriend.

To get to the bottom of this, you need to confront your fears and work out what's really going on. You can do this by keeping a diary, talking to a friend or professional.

You can only resolve it when you truly recognize what it is.

2. Take steps to reduce uncertainty.

Once you've identified the source of your fear, the next step is to take proactive measures to reduce this uncertainty. In your case, this means you need to ensure that what happened in the past won't affect your present or future.

First, you might want to think about cutting off all contact with your ex. This could mean deleting his contact details or avoiding following his social media updates.

This should help you avoid coming into contact with him unintentionally, which should reduce the chance of you becoming anxious as a result.

Second, you can talk to your current boyfriend about your concerns. Let him know about your past experiences and your concerns about them, and discuss together how to make sure that this past doesn't affect your present and future.

If you're open and honest with each other, you can work together to set some ground rules or agreements to build a stronger, more trusting relationship. Of course, the first thing you need to do is make sure that your partner really doesn't care about your past.

If he's a traditional guy who cares a lot about his girlfriend's romantic history, you should think carefully about whether you should take the initiative to confess your own romantic history.

3. Develop a positive mindset and coping strategies.

On top of taking steps to reduce uncertainty, you also need to develop a positive mindset and strategies for dealing with potential challenges.

First, you need to believe in your ability to handle any challenge. Look back on past experiences to see how you've overcome difficulties and challenges.

This will give you a boost in self-confidence and help you handle future challenges with more confidence.

Second, you can learn some ways to cope with potential challenges. For instance, when you feel stressed, you can try deep breathing, meditation, and other relaxation techniques to relieve tension.

You can also learn some communication skills, emotional management, and other techniques to better handle problems in your relationship with your current boyfriend.

4. Stay focused on the present and the future.

Finally, you need to focus on the present and the future, rather than dwelling on the past. Your relationship with your current boyfriend is the most important part of your present and future, and you should cherish and work hard to maintain it.

You might want to set some common goals and plans to strengthen your bond and rapport. For example, you could plan future trips together, make a fitness plan, learn new skills, and so on.

These activities will help you get to know each other better and build a stronger sense of intimacy and trust.

At the same time, you also need to focus on your own growth and development. Make the most of your life by learning new things, developing your interests and hobbies, and making new friends.

This will help you feel more confident and independent when facing future challenges and uncertainties.

To sum up, you need to take a series of steps to reduce uncertainty, develop a positive mindset and coping strategies, and focus on the present and the future. By doing this, you can gradually overcome anxiety, enjoy your current relationship, and create a better future together.

Hello! You are aware of a tendency to catastrophize, to be preoccupied with the worst possible outcome even though you know rationally that it will not happen. This is an opportunity for you to learn to relax and trust your instincts.

From your account, it's clear that you value your current intimate relationship very much and cherish the feelings you have with your boyfriend. This makes it particularly important for you to protect your relationship from any potential risks. On the other hand, it may also be related to the harm caused by your previous relationship. You feel sick when you mention your ex and past relationships, and you consider it a stain on yourself. This is a great opportunity for you to accept this experience in your heart and move forward!

When a part of ourselves (including experiences) is not accepted, we have the opportunity to learn and grow. If we cannot let go, we may form an assumption that this event is a stain and will never be accepted. We may also project this assumed conclusion onto others, for example, thinking that once your boyfriend finds out, it will destroy your relationship.

You and your boyfriend have a great relationship! You both have pasts, but you're focused on the present and future. Your relationship is based on a sincere mutual understanding, which is so important!

This understanding and the emotional connection you have is the best solution to the problem. You can find an opportunity to express your feelings to him appropriately! For example: "I sometimes think that if we had met earlier, it would have been great. Although I know that the present and the future are something we both have to build together, it is still quite difficult to think about past experiences." Listen to what he has to say!

A good relationship is not about being completely stress-free. It's about working together to solve problems in various situations and make the relationship stronger!

You can also deal with the psychological distress left over from past negative experiences. It is not your fault that you met a bad person, but a setback. You were very brave and powerful in defending your boundaries and ending that harmful relationship. You respected your own needs and bottom line, and started over to establish a better intimate relationship. This shows that you can grow from all life experiences and pursue your happiness. This is a valuable inner resource.

The good news is that you can take control of your anxiety and learn to manage it effectively. The more you recognize and appreciate your own abilities, whether it's overcoming challenges, healing from trauma, or building a new life, the less anxiety will affect you. Even if you still have anxiety, it's okay. You can learn how to live with anxiety, not trying to eliminate it, but instead focusing on the things you enjoy and the positive feelings you have in the moment.

Hello, question asker! I'm June Lai Feng.

The way you describe your thinking is called "catastrophizing," which is a pretty common cognitive bias. It's the tendency to imagine things in the worst possible way, even when reason tells you that this is unlikely to happen.

This way of thinking not only makes you feel constant anxiety and unease, but it can also affect your relationships with others and your daily life.

From a psychological standpoint, there are a few potential causes for this situation.

First, there's a lack of security. This may be due to past experiences, especially an unhappy experience with a former partner, which has led to a lack of inner security, so that you are easily over-sensitive and worried about potential threats.

Second, you might have post-traumatic stress disorder. This could be because of a bad experience you had with a former partner. It could make you more prone to excessive anxiety and associations when faced with certain similar situations or possibly related things.

Again, you may have a tendency to think negatively, focusing on the downside of situations and ignoring the positives. This can make you more prone to anxiety and worry.

Some people are just more prone to anxiety. It's in their DNA or it's something they picked up along the way.

Then, you might be an overthinker, always thinking about things over and over again, even if they haven't happened. This kind of overthinking can lead to unnecessary anxiety and worry.

Finally, it's worth noting that emotional states such as anxiety and depression can make catastrophic thinking worse. When people are in a negative mood, they're more likely to have negative thoughts.

To do this, we need to understand that this way of thinking isn't your fault. It might be caused by a combination of factors, such as past experiences, personality traits, or environmental pressures. But you don't have to be trapped in this way of thinking all the time. Here are some suggestions to help you gradually improve this kind of catastrophic thinking:

First, recognize that your thinking is biased and that your catastrophic thinking is a cognitive bias, not a reflection of reality. Learn to question and challenge these negative thoughts.

Second, take a step back and look at the facts. Think about what evidence there is for and against your concerns. Ask yourself, what is the actual evidence that disaster will happen?

Once more, try to adopt a more realistic mindset and replace catastrophic thinking with a more positive and realistic outlook. For instance, you could tell yourself, "Although there are risks, I can take measures to deal with them" or "Even if the worst happens, I can handle it."

Then, focus more on the good times you have with your current boyfriend and enjoy the happiness in the present, rather than dwelling on the past or what might have been.

Additionally, try to adopt a more positive mindset and focus on the good and positive aspects of your life. A positive mindset can help reduce the impact of catastrophic thinking.

Next, self-affirmation: Remember your strengths and values often, and don't let past events affect your self-perception too much.

Finally, in terms of that unpleasant experience you mentioned from the past, I'd suggest trying to view it with more tolerance and understanding. While past experiences can't be changed, you can reduce their impact on the present and future by changing the way you think about them.

Keep in mind that you now have a great boyfriend and a happy life, which is something to be grateful for.

It's time to let go of the past. You have a great boyfriend and a happy life now, so don't let the past continue to haunt you.

I just wanted to say that I love you and I wish you happiness!

Give the questioner a big hug! I can feel the anxiety and unease in the questioner's heart. It's totally understandable that the questioner still has feelings about the past, even though they know that the present is more important. It's natural to feel shame, remorse, self-blame, and anxiety about things that have happened in the past. But, these feelings have now transformed into anxiety about the uncertainty of the future, which is causing the questioner to feel distressed.

You think you've moved on from worrying about the past, but you're still feeling anxious about the future and uncertain about things that haven't even happened yet.

The past is gone, and no matter what, it will never come back. But the feelings it brought about have not disappeared, and they remain deep within the questioner's heart without the questioner being aware of them. It's totally normal to feel this way! Just like the information the questioner described about the ex-boyfriend, it can be seen that the questioner deeply regrets and blames herself for choosing this person.

On the other hand, it's understandable that the questioner didn't have a clear idea of how to choose the right romantic partner and stick to their standards back then. It's not easy to know everything about men! That's why the questioner chose such a romantic partner and got involved with him. It's natural to feel like it's your fault for choosing such a partner and that you're not good or smart enough to choose such a partner. But I'm here to tell you that you're not alone!

I think it's important to remember that although that guy did have a lot of problems, he is not useless and has some good qualities that made the original poster satisfied at that time. Otherwise, the original poster would not have looked at him and chosen him. And this does not mean that the original poster is bad, unable to do anything, or not smart. It is just because the original poster did not have this experience at that time and had not yet learned how to rationally, objectively, and comprehensively understand men and relationships. It is just like a child who has not gone to school and does not know how to write or do arithmetic. There is nothing to be ashamed of or regret.

This experience is also a kind of wealth. It is precisely because of this relationship experience that the questioner has been hurt. But there's a bright side! By reflecting on it, the questioner can make progress and grow in thinking. And by learning to think about how to define and choose the right partner for oneself, the questioner can find happiness in the future.

It's so great that the questioner has found such a wonderful partner! It really shows how much their thinking has matured. If they're worried that talking to their current boyfriend about it will affect their relationship, they can always look into finding a good psychological counselor for formal counseling. It's always good to get things out in the open and work through any issues. Then, they can focus on building a happy relationship with their current boyfriend.

I hope these personal opinions are helpful for you, the questioner, to think about.

The questioner's inclination to envision the worst-case scenario and formulate strategies to mitigate potential risks stems from a desire to avoid feelings of insecurity and uncertainty. This inclination manifests in the form of anticipatory planning to address various possible outcomes.

Given that your current romantic partner is an optimal choice for you and you value him, you are particularly concerned that you may lose him due to your previous missteps in being excessively simple. You are now more anxious that your former romantic partner may have surreptitiously recorded something. Is it possible that you previously posted his ambiguous relationship with someone else online? Of course, this does not imply that your actions were wrong, so you project this behavior onto him and believe that he will also use this method to retaliate against you.

Individuals often begin to fret about the most unfavorable potential outcome of an event that has yet to occur. They tend to perceive the eventuality of such an outcome to be exceedingly grave, which subsequently gives rise to feelings of concern, unease, and anxiety. What motivates individuals to engage in such pessimistic thinking? The rationale behind this phenomenon can be attributed to the following logic: if one anticipates failure, then the eventuality of disappointment is effectively averted.

This can be seen as an excessive form of self-protection, with the underlying message being that if one has anticipated the worst outcome, then one will not be shocked by failure and mistakes.

Those who are perpetually concerned about a myriad of issues and perceive even inconsequential matters as potential catastrophes exhibit a pronounced sense of insecurity. Their lives are characterized by a constant state of vigilance, akin to traversing a narrow bridge over a vast chasm.

How might we overcome catastrophic thinking? It is important to recognize that conflict is an inherent aspect of human interaction and that success and failure are inevitable in any endeavor. If an outcome is unavoidable, there is no benefit in dwelling on fear or worry.

When catastrophic thinking is allowed to exert control over one's life, the driving force of life is no longer derived from a sense of meaning and value. Instead, it is driven by a sense of fear. The motivation to become a better version of oneself is replaced by a desire to prevent bad things from happening. These so-called bad things are often the result of catastrophic thinking being magnified to an infinite degree. Consequently, individuals live in a state of constant stress, driven by fear while simultaneously depleting their energy.

It is only when one realizes that conflicts are inevitable when interacting with others and that there is always a risk of failure on the path to growth that one can approach the consequences of actions with an open mind.

Conflicts and mistakes can enhance one's capacity to confront challenges, expand one's comprehension of human nature, and facilitate rapid maturation. The comparison between two distinct tenures can illuminate the exceptional qualities of the incumbent. Failure to concentrate on the synthesis of life experience may result in the forfeiture of numerous opportunities for growth.

It is recommended that one enjoy the present moment, and it is hoped that the above will be of assistance.

Hello, question owner. I was going to go to bed, but I saw your confusion and I have some thoughts I want to share with you. You say you're always anxious and afraid of things that won't happen. You have a catastrophic way of thinking. What can you do about it?

You provided a detailed account, and it's evident you're seeking validation and guidance. I embrace you once more. Throughout your post, I sensed a tug-of-war between your rational and emotional sides. You also mentioned in the title that you experience anxiety and fear about future events that may or may not occur. You're familiar with the concept of catastrophic thinking, and I believe you possess a basic understanding of psychology.

Your rational mind cannot convince your heart.

You care too much about your current boyfriend. You cherish him and it is likely that you will get married. You are worried that your boyfriend will meet and get in touch with your ex's cousin's friend, and that your ex will do something bad to you (damage your reputation). This is unlikely to happen.

You are lucky to have met your current boyfriend. You worry about losing him, you worry about hurting him, and your concerns are causing chaos. So how do you break this catastrophic thinking? First, stop thinking about it. You can put it aside. The more you think about it, the more you worry. In the end, all the fear, worry, and anxiety are just in your own mind.

Secondly, you can try changing your mind. The platform has a recent 525 event that teaches you how to change your mind. I have used it quite effectively, and you can too.

The questioner can also choose to talk to a listener and distract their attention. This is an effective way to avoid worrying in advance about things that haven't happened or won't even happen.

That's all I have to say. I'm nervous because I care, but I'm going to relax. Breathe. Stop thinking about it. Maybe it's just your own thoughts. Good night, Yi Xinli.

Hello, questioner! I can see you're struggling.

Worrying about the future is like a dark cloud that stops you from relaxing and enjoying time with your boyfriend. But you're not alone. Many people feel the same way.

Your worries and anxieties are understandable. They are concerns and expectations for the future. They just present themselves in an uncomfortable way.

It's not your thinking that's wrong. We just need to learn to get along better with these emotions.

Imagine you are by a lake, with a cool breeze.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and feel the peace and beauty. Then, imagine your worries as leaves floating on the lake.

You can watch them float and sink. This is like releasing your worries.

When you feel uneasy, say to yourself, "I know you are worried, but I can handle it."

This kind of self-talk can help you manage your emotions and boost your self-confidence.

I have some suggestions to help you feel less anxious and afraid.

1. Record your worries: Find a quiet moment, sit down, and write down all your worries. This will help you see the problem more clearly and feel in control.

When you feel uneasy, you can read these notes to remind yourself that these worries are based on assumptions and may not happen.

2. Set aside a "worrying time." This is a fixed period of time, such as 10 minutes every night, to think and worry. When you start worrying, tell yourself, "I'm not in worrying time right now, I can think about it later."

This will help you avoid worrying too much and disrupting your normal routine.

3. Counteract assumptions with facts. Ask yourself if your worry is based on facts.

What evidence supports this worry? What evidence disproves it?

This can help you think more clearly and avoid worrying about things that don't matter.

4. Seek support. Tell your boyfriend how you feel. He will understand.

You can also join a self-help group or find a counselor.

5. Relax: When you feel anxious, try relaxing activities like breathing, meditation, yoga, or walking. They can help relieve tension and make your mind clearer.

You can download relaxing music on your phone.

6. Focus on the present. When you worry about the future, focus on the present. Focus on what you are doing and your surroundings.

This will help you enjoy the present more and worry less about the future.

7. Positive thinking: Write down positive things you can do.

Affirmations can help you think positively and feel better.

Finally, change takes time and patience. Don't expect to get rid of all your worries at once.

Give yourself time to grow. You're not alone. Many people support you.

Believe in yourself. You can overcome this difficulty and embrace a brighter future.

Thank you for sharing.

I understand your anxiety and fear. They are like an undercurrent, affecting your inner peace. You are afraid that the past will affect your present life. This sense of being unable to escape is depressing.

Your thoughts are like a nightmare that keeps you awake. You try to calm your mind, but the fear follows you.

This way of thinking makes you feel uncertain and worried about the future. You are afraid of things you cannot control.

You feel helpless and at a loss because you can't control things.

I understand your feelings for your boyfriend. He makes your life better.

You're afraid of losing him and of your past ruining your relationship. This fear makes you happy, but it also weighs on you.

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You want to spend the rest of your life with him, but you're afraid your past will get in the way. This makes you tired, and you don't know how to balance your heart and emotions.

Your past shouldn't stop you from being happy. Everyone has a past and makes mistakes.

Your past does not define your present or predict your future.

Your boyfriend chose to be with you because he loves you for who you are.

Trust in his love and commitment. Your feelings are strong enough to withstand difficulties.

To escape this kind of thinking, try something new. When you are engaged in something you like, your mind will be distracted from the past and future.

Talk to a psychotherapist or counselor. They can help you understand yourself better and deal with your thoughts.

They will support you and help you get through tough times.

Most importantly, love yourself. Don't let your past make you doubt yourself. Use it to grow and progress.

When you love yourself, you become more confident and stronger. You can face challenges in life better.

Don't let the past limit your thinking. Your future is full of possibilities. Pursue your dreams and goals.

Don't let the past hold you back.

You are not alone. Your family, friends, and boyfriend will support you.

No matter what, don't forget your worth and face life's challenges with courage. You deserve a bright future and a happy life.

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Setbacks and difficulties are opportunities for growth. Every challenge is a test, and every failure is a chance to learn.

You can overcome any difficulty.

Learn to accept your imperfections. Nobody's perfect.

But that doesn't stop us from trying to be better. When you accept your imperfections, you become more yourself and get along with others better.

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Your thoughts may be negative because you're afraid of the future. But remember, your value is not based on the past. It's based on what you do now and what you'll do in the future.

You have unlimited potential. If you explore and develop it, you can achieve anything.

May you face your past and future with courage, embracing challenges and opportunities. Your future is full of hope and possibilities.

Believe in yourself and love. You can move on from the past and create a better future.

Topic master, I wish you well! The world and I love you.

Good morning, my name is Coach Yu, and I would be grateful for the opportunity to discuss this topic with you.

1. Could I ask why this is the case?

It might be helpful to consider the possibility that a lack of self-efficacy could be a factor. Self-efficacy refers to confidence, which is our assessment of our ability to successfully cope with a particular situation, as well as our trust and affirmation of our potential.

Let's take a moment to reflect on our childhood experiences. When we first started to walk or hold chopsticks to eat, were we interrupted and stopped countless times by our mothers because of their worries and anxieties, and their fear of dire consequences? Over time, we may find ourselves judging ourselves when it comes to the unknown, thinking, "I can't do it well." This could gradually become a challenge for our sense of self-efficacy, and potentially lead to feelings of vulnerability as adults.

As the questioner said, I tend to think the worst of a situation, even when reason tells me it won't happen. I often find myself wondering, "What if?"

It might be worth considering that these beliefs could be your own irrational beliefs. One of the characteristics of irrational beliefs is that they are overgeneralized and extremely negative. As the questioner said, it can be painful when the mind is filled with such chaotic thinking and no solution can be thought of. These beliefs may be manifesting in ways that are causing distress.

When we face something disappointing, we can accept it with grace and dignity, even though we cannot change it. We can choose not to accept it with bitterness and despair. I failed in an investment due to the pandemic two years ago and was depressed for a period of time. I thought to myself that this was a natural disaster and human calamity. It did not affect just one particular industry. The incident we encountered has been stretched out over the long course of our lives. It is just a drop in the ocean. Is it worth being desperate?

It might be said that irrational beliefs can sometimes lead to the emergence of biased thoughts, which in turn can cause emotional and behavioural disorders. This can then result in the development of somewhat absurd ideas. It could be argued that irrational beliefs can have a significant impact on our emotions and behaviours.

2. Suggestions for improvement

1. When you become aware that you are engaging in irrational beliefs and catastrophic thinking, it can be helpful to gently remind yourself that these thoughts are just your own ideas and that they may not be entirely practical or based on reality.

2. When feeling anxious and in pain, such as when thinking about an ex, you might consider asking yourself: "He was not a pleasant person, but was he capable of doing something illegal? And would something like this affect my relationship with my boyfriend?"

It might be helpful to consider the past relationship history of both parties and ask yourself whether these things will affect your view of love and whether they will hinder or disturb you.

It is possible, but I believe it would be best to avoid causing myself unnecessary distress and confusion.

3. We can attempt to reconcile with our emotions. When we feel anxious or panicked, it might be helpful to immediately call a halt, take a deep breath, and do something else, such as listening to music, stretching, etc., to distract ourselves. Meditation and mindfulness are also excellent ways to regulate our emotions. We can also try to record what our feelings are at the moment.

Please feel free to write about your feelings in an honest and open way. This can help us to understand the origins and effects of our emotions, as well as the root of the problem.

4. It might be helpful to have a heart-to-heart conversation with our boyfriend. Over time, we have become familiar with each other and adapted to each other's behavior patterns. We can express our thoughts and concerns to each other honestly, hoping to gain understanding and support, and also to hear what the other person expects from us. Because we have learned to love each other, we can establish a beautiful and lasting intimate relationship.

It seems that the questioner has always been aware of this, and is very good at it. He has a positive outlook on life, a good character, and a kind and lovely boyfriend to keep him company. I admire your resilience. However, since this current event is bothering you, it might take some time to overcome it. Perhaps you could find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel it is necessary, you could also consider finding a counselor, because it might help to have someone to talk to about the shadows in your heart.

I would like to suggest two books that I think you might find helpful: "5% Change" and "The Feeling of Climbing to the Sky." I hope you will consider reading them. There are other cases similar to the original poster's, and you can easily find the passages you are interested in by looking at the table of contents. You are also welcome to borrow and use them if you like.

Hello! It's totally normal to have some pretty intense thoughts sometimes. It's like your mind is playing a game of "what if" and it gets a little carried away. When you focus on the negative and imagine the worst-case scenario, it can make you feel more afraid and anxious. It's like a vicious cycle where your emotions and thoughts keep feeding each other.

It's totally normal for the human mind to focus on negative things. When you're feeling stressed, it's only natural to worry about things that haven't even happened yet. So, it's important to ask yourself: why are you not feeling confident in your current feelings?

I'm sure your current boyfriend will be understanding if he sees some videos of you with your ex-boyfriend. But it's also important to consider how your ex-boyfriend treated you. It's natural to feel hurt and disrespected in a relationship. It's your boyfriend's job to protect you and make you feel safe.

If you feel safe and secure in a relationship, you won't constantly use this controlling method to determine your inner sense of security. This shows that you're feeling panicky and uneasy in the relationship, which is totally understandable! I truly believe that if someone truly loves you, they will understand your past and accept your shortcomings. They won't negate your entire being because of one thing, right?

I'm not sure about your relationship with your parents, but I'm guessing you might have experienced abandonment as a child or been rejected and denied by them.

It's totally normal to have experiences from your childhood affect your relationships now.

It's totally normal to feel this way sometimes. When you have no confidence in yourself, think that you are not good enough, or feel unworthy, it can be hard to believe that your boyfriend will accept you for who you are. It's only natural to feel this way sometimes. Unless you dare to face and accept yourself as a complete and real person, and stop using a perfect appearance to gain attention and love.

So, the best person to help you feel better is you!

I've got another suggestion for you! You can also use mindfulness practice to feel your inner self, to observe your emotions and thoughts through mindfulness, to let them flow without any judgment, and not to believe in the thoughts in your mind. The important thing is to use mindfulness practice to perceive your body, to detach yourself from the entanglement with your mind, and to give yourself the ability to live in the present!

I really hope this helps!