Always feel that the opposite sex likes you, avoid eye contact, and feel embarrassed?

Hello, question asker!

You know, after reading your question, I thought of this slim lady. Isn't there a line like this in the Book of Songs?

Everyone likes beautiful women!

Just give her a hug!

I think I'm right in guessing that you haven't mentioned your gender here. I think you're a pretty girl. You've been complimented on your looks in the past two years, and I think you're probably of an age to think about marriage and getting married. What a wonderful age to be in! A pretty girl's confidence should be rising.

I believe that the desire for love from the opposite sex is something that all young boys and girls feel. It's our human instinct. If we didn't have this driving force, the human race wouldn't be able to continue reproducing from generation to generation. Therefore, I think your desire for love from the opposite sex proves that you are one of the most normal human beings.

You're a perfectly normal person, so can you accept that the opposite sex looks at you a little more? When they look at you, can you look back at them for a little while? It's unlikely that 100% of the opposite sex likes you as much as you think. But you're not overthinking it. They probably really do like you.

I also saw what you said in the feedback. You're not afraid of being noticed by others or of not doing well. You're usually a very outgoing person, and you're admirable in how you handle things. You just can't get past this hurdle. You always feel that you want others to like you and fall in love with you. Having this desire means that you're a bit "immoral."

I don't know what caused you to have this idea. It's only natural to want the approval of others, but

It's the disappointment of not getting what you want that's hard to take. I think that's what you're afraid of, so you're putting up a defense. You think to yourself, "Don't think like that," but then you do think like that, and you become immoral.

Our thoughts can get pretty complicated. Sometimes, to defend ourselves, we think of all kinds of ways to deal with everything that happens. That's why there's this research in psychology: we all want to be liked and loved by others, but it's better to focus on ourselves and make ourselves like and love ourselves. Only by liking and loving ourselves can we become better, so that we don't have to turn to others for help in our own lives, and we can be very happy and comfortable.

If you're happy and comfortable with yourself, you'll be able to love others. If there's a person of the opposite sex who also loves and likes themselves, and has the extra ability to love others, then it would be great if such two people met!

To meet such a person, I suggest focusing on yourself, liking yourself, and loving yourself! I know it may be easier said than done, but as long as we have this idea in our consciousness and make it our rule of thumb, when we meet the opposite sex in the future, we'll look them straight in the eye and no longer worry about whether they like us or not.

Since we've already focused our attention on ourselves, we'll treat them as if they were the same sex. I really hope you can do the same one day.

I love you, world!

Hello there!

I'm so happy I get to give you some advice!

I just wanted to say, don't feel guilty about the fact that you think the other person likes you and that you avoid eye contact when you see each other. It's totally normal to feel this way! There's no need to feel self-conscious or think that you're being presumptuous. I'm here to help you understand why you're acting this way.

First of all, it's totally normal to think that the opposite sex likes you. Have you had a crush on someone of the opposite sex recently? Or have you liked a friend of the opposite sex in the past?

And you're feeling unsure about what he really means because of some of the other person's actions? Have you had any experiences like this?

Or perhaps it's because you said earlier that you didn't think others liked you. Well, in the past two years, you've been told that you have a high appearance value, so it's natural to think that when the other person looks at you, it means that they have a crush on you or are paying attention to you.

First, we'll take a closer look at the word "feel."

This feeling you have comes from a place of inner lack of confidence in the past. It's okay to feel this way! It's natural to have thoughts that aren't necessarily true. When we feel that the opposite sex likes us, it's easy to think that the other person may have feelings for us. But, their gaze may only flicker over us. It's okay to believe that they like you, even if it's not true.

This includes your desire to get attention from others. We all feel this way sometimes! In the past, you might have been more self-conscious and thought that no one liked you. But recently, you've been able to appreciate your appearance and have been praised for it. This has made you feel beautiful! So if others pay attention to you, it's likely because they have a crush on you. You want to get the attention of others, and because you were previously not confident, you were also looking forward to the possibility of having more interactions with others. This has led to the fact that you often feel that the opposite sex likes you nowadays, which is great!

It's totally normal to want to get the attention of others. We all care a lot about what others think of us and what they say about us. When the other person pays attention to you, it's a great way to gain confidence because you've gained the recognition of others.

If others praise you, it's a great feeling! You'll feel wonderful and outstanding, and you'll know you deserve all that lovely attention.

It's also important to remember that we're all just doing our best, and we all have insecurities and flaws. So how can we adjust and improve our current state so that we can become a person who is more content and confident?

First of all, it's important to remember that other people's opinions are based on their own thoughts and personalities. While they may admire your appearance, others may have admired it before. So whether or not someone admires you depends on the people you are currently surrounded by.

But do you really know what your own appearance is like? It's so important to have your own definition and judgment.

How do you feel about your appearance? I see what you mean in the brackets, which is, "I used to think that other people didn't like me because I was imagining things."

It's also important to remember that our perception of the world around us can be influenced by our own biases. We tend to pay more attention to certain things, but it's not always based on reality. So, it's good to take a step back and view your appearance with a sense of objectivity.

It's so important to remember that just because someone is good-looking doesn't mean they're good. It's simply a reflection of the fact that when we have good looks and abilities, it shows that our whole person is more complete, which is a wonderful thing. It doesn't mean that we'll necessarily be better than other people. So this confidence in appearance or lack thereof is something you need to take a good look at yourself.

Then, when you feel that the other person likes you, you feel shy when you feel their gaze fall on you, because you take this [probable] feeling as real. It's totally normal to feel this way! Our thoughts like this are all guesses, so we haven't had the chance to verify with the other person. Whether the other person is looking at you or not, it may just be because you have a very good appearance and they appreciate you very much. This is also a kind of liking, but it's not the same as the liking of a man and woman in love. Perhaps it is just admiring a very beautiful thing, and a feeling of joy arises in your heart, wanting to look at it for a second time. You bring a very good feeling to the other person, and this is one of the reasons.

Then there's the way your eyes meet his. Do they just happen to meet, or is he really looking at you? You can't help but feel inside that because your looks are likely to attract other people's attention, you have a hunch that wherever you go, the looks you get will be out of affection.

It's totally normal to have these feelings! We all have preconceptions in our minds, so we might think the other person is looking at us when we're talking. And it's because of my appearance that I might feel embarrassed if they look at me. But if you think about it, there's not much chance of this happening.

So, if someone looks at us and smiles, we can just smile back! If we feel good about how we look and how we act, then it's nice when people smile back at us.

But we shouldn't use our own beauty to think that the other person loves us, and gain confidence through them. This is not a long-lasting feeling. Our confidence comes from within, and our confidence and certainty come from the real self within.

It doesn't matter if we're good-looking or not, or if we're talented or not. What matters is that we can all love ourselves unconditionally. This confidence is something you can give to yourself.

I truly believe you can rethink some aspects of your appearance, your abilities, your temperament, your choice of spouse, etc. And you can truly realize who you are and, in the future, meet that right person.

I wish you all the very best!

If you'd like to keep chatting, just click the "Find a coach" link in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd be happy to talk with you one-on-one!

I'd also like to mention the wonderful Psychology Q&A Community, World and I Love You: https://m.xinli001.com/qa.

Dear host,

It seems that when you are looked at by the opposite sex, you experience a feeling that is similar to shyness, which causes you to feel nervous. At the same time, you have the thought that others may like you.

The respondent suggests that, based on an understanding of this psychological need, we can then consider reshaping the emotion of "shame or shyness" to help us more fully recognize this state of mind.

The respondent has attempted to cite some psychological viewpoints in order to clarify the matter for you.

In psychology, it is possible that some of the information we are aware of may be a projection of our subconscious.

Could I ask you to help me understand this?

It could be said that when you feel that the other person might like you, this feeling, which may come from our subconscious, is also very eager to get and enjoy the love of others. But this is what we think and wish in our hearts, and the thought will linger in our minds.

It is not uncommon for this wish to be called upon, which can result in a kind of externalization phenomenon in which we feel liked by others.

Once we have a better understanding of this concept, we can then move on to exploring our own character archetypes.

It is a fairly normal psychological phenomenon to desire to be liked. It should be noted that not everyone who feels this way is shy; some are quite open about it and never feel awkward.

If you are interested in learning more about your personality, you might consider reading a book on the nine-column personality.

For instance, one might consider the book by Helen Palmer, which is quite well-known.

It might be helpful to identify your own character archetype and consider why you often feel shy or embarrassed. It's also worth noting that our primitive instinctive emotions can play a role in these feelings.

Finally, how should we approach this issue?

Perhaps it would be helpful to evaluate whether shyness is an obstacle in your daily life and work.

And secondly, could I ask what methods you use when you want to use the energy of "shyness"?

If I might suggest, perhaps the best way to deal with this feeling or emotion is to try to find ways to get out of it.

I hope that my sharing is helpful to you. I believe that the above three aspects can all be used as channels for us to redefine this feeling and deal with it flexibly.

If you require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.

How old is the questioner? Before being praised for one's looks, would you avert your gaze from others' looks?

"I always feel that the opposite sex likes me (but I know I'm overthinking it). I used to think that no one liked me, but in the past two years, I've become more confident because I've been told that I'm good-looking, so I always think this way. "Does the question asker think that there is a connection between "always feeling that the opposite sex likes you" and "being told that you're good-looking in the past two years"? Does the question asker unintentionally believe that people with good looks "will definitely" be liked by all members of the opposite sex?

"I don't like other people, and I do the same to many members of the opposite sex. The main thing is that I'm also particularly embarrassed, so when other people look over, I unconsciously avert my gaze, which makes me very nervous." I didn't understand this sentence.

The questioner is "especially embarrassed" because she doesn't like other people. This applies to many people of the opposite sex. She dares not look others in the eye and unconsciously avoids eye contact because she doesn't like other people.

The way others looked at her made her feel like they were examining her. They wanted to know if she really had good looks and if her looks were really good.

It's a provocation to oneself.

The questioner likely believes the opposite sex finds them attractive, so when someone looks at them, they perceive that person as showing affection. By looking back, they seem to accept the other person's affection. It's akin to publicly displaying affection.

If you don't look back, you'll feel guilty for not reciprocating the other person's love. It's also rejecting the other person's love in public.

The questioner wanted to stand out by avoiding eye contact. He wanted to attract attention and show off his good looks.

In these situations, people will inevitably feel something they cannot express. If several of these situations occur simultaneously, the level of tension is unimaginable.

In fact, everyone is most interested in themselves. There are undoubtedly many people like the questioner, who can't wait to focus on themselves!

I am certain that my reply will be of some help to you. Best wishes!

Over the past two years, you've noticed that there's a bit of a mismatch between how you see yourself and how you feel about your appearance. It's totally normal! We all have different thoughts and feelings about our looks from time to time. And it's especially common for us to feel more confident when we're praised for our appearance.

It's totally normal to have different thoughts and feelings about ourselves and how others see us. But when our external views and internal thoughts don't match up, it can feel a bit uncomfortable. This is called cognitive dissonance. It's the term used to describe that uneasy feeling we get when our beliefs, perceptions, emotions, and behaviors don't match up.

When we're faced with a conflict like this, it's natural to try to find new ideas or beliefs or to tweak existing beliefs to make things easier on our minds.

The message contains both internal and external conflicts, both about one's appearance and whether the other person likes them. This can sometimes lead to us showing our internal conflicts through our external behavior, like averting our gaze, which can cause tension.

The message contains both internal and external conflicts, both about one's appearance and whether the other person likes them. This can sometimes lead to us showing our internal conflicts externally in our words and actions. For example, we might avoid eye contact, which can cause tension.

And there's another thing to think about, too. In addition to cognitive dissonance, the addition in the response is also very important:

And a sense of guilt. It's totally normal to want others to like us.

The tricky part is that we don't always want everyone to love us. It's only natural to want others to like us, it's a basic human feeling.

This kind of thinking helps us to survive in society better, helps us adapt to group life, and thus helps us to grow and develop in the best way possible!

It can be tough to follow our feelings with thoughts like shame and a sense of wrongdoing.

It's important to remember that these emotional experiences aren't something we're born with. They're shaped by the comments and experiences we have as we grow up. This means that we can choose to change how we feel about things by thinking about the ways we've internalised these experiences.

These emotional experiences aren't something we're born with. They're shaped by the comments and experiences we have along the way. We soak up what others say and what happens to us, and we make these things part of who we are. And that's okay!

It's totally normal to feel a bit panicked or concerned sometimes. When we do, it can make us feel more tense and ashamed.

I really hope you find this sharing enlightening! The following sharing can be tried out for the above two causes:

1. Give yourself a big pat on the back and tell yourself you're great!

Liking and admiring yourself is a great way to feel more stable inside. When you feel good about yourself, you'll be able to relax about whether people like you or not.

And you can establish your own liking and appreciation of yourself, too! Here's how:

a. Record your progress every day!

b. Find the unique things about yourself.

c. Give yourself a big pat on the back for every little thing you do right!

...

If you're not very confident in the long term, this can be really tough. Have you tried inviting and mobilizing your trusted family and friends to first understand the wonderful you in their eyes and mouths?

2. When those feelings of immorality or shame come up, try to see the beauty in yourself from the bottom of your heart.

2. When those feelings of immorality or shame come up, try to see the beauty in yourself with all your heart.

You know, the first step to getting rid of that feeling of immorality and shame is still to appreciate and like yourself, truly and sincerely.

This appreciation and liking depends on two things: first, being aware of yourself, and second, replacing feelings of shame and immorality with feelings of appreciation, joy, and tenderness.

With these conscious adjustments, we'll become more and more at ease and generous. At that time, not only will you love your own outer appearance, but you'll also love your inner self. And you'll love how others see you too!

I hope you have a wonderful day of self-acceptance! Love yourself as much as you love your beautiful self.

Hello!

Host:

After reading the post carefully, I can understand the complexity of the poster's current state of mind. At the same time, I also noticed that the poster bravely expressed his doubts and actively sought help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help the poster to better understand and understand himself, and thus encounter the unknown self. I admire the poster for being so open and honest in sharing his thoughts and feelings. It's not easy to do, but it's so important to be able to express our doubts and seek help when we need it. I'm sure that by doing so, the poster will be able to gain a deeper understanding of himself and encounter the unknown self in a positive way.

I'd love to share some thoughts from the post that I hope will help the poster gain a deeper understanding of themselves.

1. Our understanding of ourselves comes from two sources.

From reading the post, it seems like the poster used to think that other people didn't like him. But in the past two years, he's become more confident because he's been praised for his appearance. From what I've read, it seems like the confidence he mentions might not be true confidence.

I think what I'm picking up on is a kind of "narcissism." What is narcissism, anyway?

I think the essence of narcissism is falling in love with an idealized self.

This ideal self is someone who is liked, noticed, and popular. There's just a little bit of a distance between the ideal and reality, so the host believes on an emotional level that many people of the opposite sex like them.

But on a rational level, he knows this isn't true. It might seem a bit strange, but these feelings are real.

From what I can gather from reading the post, it seems like the person writing it might be feeling a bit inferior.

The host mentioned that in the past, she felt that other people did not like her, and this is her own understanding of herself. It's totally understandable! We all have moments where we don't feel like our best selves. It's okay to have a little inferiority complex from time to time.

It's so important to remember that even if other people say something about your appearance, it's only an external evaluation. It doesn't change your inner understanding of yourself, and that's what matters most!

And what is an inferiority complex? It's when you don't want to be yourself in reality, but want to be the ideal self.

After reading this, I hope the hostess realizes that inferiority and narcissism are somewhat similar. It's so interesting how the essence of narcissism is actually inferiority!

2. Sometimes, avoiding eye contact can be a bit embarrassing or uncomfortable. It's okay to feel this way! It could be because you don't fully accept yourself, or it could be for other reasons. Either way, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

As we mentioned earlier, it's possible that the host might have some feelings of inadequacy. This can stem from a deeper inability to accept oneself in reality. When we can't accept ourselves, it's natural to think that others won't accept us either. We all see things through our own lens, after all!

We might even be afraid of seeing the other person's disapproval, dislike, or rejection in their eyes. That's okay! We all do it. We avoid eye contact, feeling nervous and embarrassed, or we protect ourselves.

We all need to do this sometimes to make ourselves feel a little more comfortable.

It's totally normal to have different feelings and thoughts about ourselves. Sometimes, our emotions tell us that other people like us, but our rational mind might have a different take. When this happens, it's natural to feel a little "guilty" when other people look at us.

It's totally normal to worry about others saying you're "narcissistic." And if we look away, it can also help us stay in our narcissism for a bit and enjoy the attention and affection.

3. Acceptance is the first step on the path to a better, brighter future!

I really believe that acceptance is the first step on the road to change for the better. For the original poster, I think the best thing you can do is to try to understand yourself as objectively and fairly as you can and to set up your own internal evaluation system.

The host might ask himself, "Why did I think that other people didn't like me?" or "Is it true that there are important others who don't like me very much?"

Do I know myself through the feedback he gives me? Is the feedback he gives me objective? I'd really like to know the answer to these questions!

I'd love to know why people say I have a high appearance value!

Through such self-exploration, the host may be able to better understand and accept himself, and reconcile with himself. Perhaps he will be able to more objectively understand himself, see his own strengths, and recognize his own shortcomings.

This is a great way to get a more three-dimensional and objective view of yourself. You'll see that you can create value, enhance the value of others, and that you are worthy of love and loving others too!

And finally, knowing yourself and reconciling with yourself is not something that can be solved simply by asking a question. So, keep learning and exploring! This will help you improve your understanding and upgrade your system. I hope this is of some help to you. I am Zeng Chen, a certified emotional coaching coach, your emotional companion.

Hello, question asker. It's a pleasure meeting you. Let's dive into this topic together.

I always feel that the opposite sex likes me, and I know it's not just my imagination.

This statement is contradictory. If you know for sure that you are overthinking things and you always think that the other person likes you, you are self-deceiving.

I don't think that at all. When I think that someone likes me, I immediately dismiss it in my heart: "I'm just imagining things." This shows that the questioner really wants other people to like them, and it's only natural that it doesn't have to be a specific person.

When I saw the question, I thought of my high school, and I also thought like this for a while in my second year of high school. I know we really need the approval of others to affirm ourselves because deep down we feel that we are worthy of love and that we have many good qualities. As the questioner said: "I used to always feel that other people didn't like me, but in the past two years, I've become more confident because I've been praised for my appearance."

You need to prove that your own appearance has improved. You need more affirmation. If you keep thinking like this, you will develop thoughts like "He should like me" and "He might like me."

I don't like other people because the questioner simply wants the affirmation of others. It's not because I like other people and want to be with them.

You also feel particularly embarrassed, and when others look at you, you unconsciously avert your gaze, which makes you nervous. This shows that the questioner is not confident enough deep down and that they need the approval of others.

This is a very minor problem, and it is human nature. In psychology, narcissism and inferiority are often two sides of the same coin. Many people have both opposing personalities.

In psychology, narcissism and inferiority are two sides of the same coin. Many people have both opposing personalities.

The main thing is to be susceptible to the environment and the opinions of others. If others say good things, you feel good about yourself; if others are cold, you feel inferior. You are still not confident, you cannot correctly position yourself, and you are swayed by others. If the questioner changes their own position because of praise from others, it shows that the questioner still needs to work hard to grow and develop a strong inner self.

Some people who pay too much attention to themselves are more likely to feel inferior because they are sensitive to their own imperfections. However, excessive attention to oneself is in itself a narcissistic behavior, and it is also easy to infinitely amplify one's own advantages, resulting in a polarized personality.

True self-confidence is about caring about others and discovering your inner value and the sparkle of humanity.

I wish you a happy and blessed life. The world and I love you. ?

Good day, After reviewing your question and the responses you provided to the instructors, I am experiencing a significant internal conflict. Allow me to extend a warm gesture of support (づ ●─● )づ.

Your response to the teachers is reminiscent of a line from the film Fall in Love at First Sight: "Our inner world is like an empty jar that needs a lot of love to fill it up!" When an individual's inner "love jar" is empty, they will resort to a multitude of "irrational" actions to fill their love jar.

"I have long held the belief that others do not like me. Over the past two years, I have become more confident as a result of receiving praise for my appearance. This has led me to think in this way on numerous occasions." The message conveyed in these words is significant. Whether or not you held this belief in the past is irrelevant, as you never received any love from others, leaving your inner "love box" empty for an extended period.

Furthermore, you have received praise, which is also a form of love. This has filled your inner reserve of love, so you desire more love and want it to be replenished. In a sense, your current thoughts are a form of compensation for past experiences.

I would like to take a moment to address your desire to be liked by others. It is important to remember that people are social beings and that everyone longs for love.

Due to your introverted personality and traditional values, you are not comfortable expressing your emotional needs. Furthermore, given that you have never felt love from others, it is likely that you have formed the perception that you do not deserve love. This has led to the suppression of your emotions, which is likely the source of your sense of shame.

However, you can attempt to reframe your past experiences. For instance, you can consider whether your previous assumptions were accurate.

Has anyone ever demonstrated any form of affection towards you, even in a minimal capacity?

Or in a way that you cannot comprehend? Please endeavor to ascertain the truth.

Please clarify.