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Am I becoming increasingly selfish, only considering my own feelings? Is that good or bad?

self-centered selfishness change in behavior negative perspective difficulty in relationships
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Am I becoming increasingly selfish, only considering my own feelings? Is that good or bad? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I feel like I have been becoming more self-centered recently, only considering my own feelings. Before, I used to be good to everyone, but now I subconsciously don't treat others well. Even sometimes I have a plan in mind, I still won't do it. I don't know what's wrong with me. Now I feel like "the whole world is full of bad people." Then I feel that maybe this self-centered state, which only considers myself, is the real me, and it feels comfortable. I am increasingly aware that pleasing others is useless, but I also can't laugh with people close to me or treat them as I used to. I don't know whether this state is good or bad.

Xenia James Xenia James A total of 2957 people have been helped

Dear friend, You are not alone in feeling this way. We are all individuals, but we are also part of a social network.

Our interactions with others make our lives rich and colorful. When we feel that our emotions and energy are being over-consumed, when we doubt whether the people around us can all be trusted, and when we lose our enthusiasm for close people, it is likely a self-protection mechanism or a reassessment of inner relationships.

"Self-boundaries" are the psychological boundaries that individuals establish with others to protect themselves from excessive emotional and energy depletion. It is not selfish to establish self-boundaries—it is a necessary form of self-protection.

Trees need bark to protect their insides from the outside world, and we need self-boundaries to protect our inner world. These boundaries are not meant to isolate us from others; they enable us to get along with others more healthily.

As you start to pay more attention to your feelings, you will likely find yourself establishing or strengthening self-boundaries to protect yourself from being overly influenced by the outside world.

A negative worldview can be a defense mechanism that we fall into when we start to believe that "the whole world is full of bad people." This idea can be temporary or triggered by specific experiences or challenges in relationships. It can prevent us from forming genuine connections with others and affect our social lives.

We must learn to recognize this defense mechanism and find healthier ways to deal with our feelings and experiences.

If you're struggling to connect with those close to you, it's likely because you're re-evaluating your values and the importance of relationships. This is a process of self-discovery that helps you gain a clearer understanding of what you truly want.

It is perfectly normal to discover that you need more time and space to take care of yourself.

There is no absolute answer as to whether this state of affairs is good or bad. Everyone goes through such stages during their development, and the key is to understand and deal with these feelings.

We may feel confused and in pain during this period, but that doesn't mean we're heading in a bad direction. It's an opportunity to grow and learn more about ourselves.

It's all part of your personal growth, no matter how you feel. Accept your imperfections and give yourself time and space to adapt and adjust.

If you are feeling confused or distressed, you should seek professional psychological counseling. A counselor can help you explore the reasons behind these feelings and provide strategies to help you better understand yourself and establish healthy relationships.

Seeking help is a sign of courage, not weakness. In this complex world, we are all constantly learning and growing, and every challenge and confusion is a stepping stone for our growth.

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Oliver Matthew Taylor Oliver Matthew Taylor A total of 8092 people have been helped

Give yourself a big, warm hug! Your feelings might be a sign that you're becoming more aware of yourself and learning to protect your precious self.

As you grow and change, you'll gradually become more aware of your own needs and boundaries. This is an important part of self-development! Here are some tips to help you understand your changes and find balance:

1. Self-care: First, it's so important to recognize that it's essential to take care of your own feelings and needs. Self-care is not selfish at all! It ensures that you have enough energy to care for others, which is a wonderful thing!

2. **Reflect on the change**: Take a moment to think about why you're making this change. Is it because you've been giving too much of yourself lately?

Or maybe it's because you're starting to recognize your own personal limits?

3. Set boundaries: It's so important to learn to set healthy boundaries, which will help you protect yourself while also respecting others. Boundaries can help you clarify what you are willing to do and what you are not.

4. Balanced relationships: It's so important to find a balance between caring for yourself and caring for others. You can take care of yourself while also being aware of the feelings and needs of those around you.

5. Communication: Talk to the people close to you about your feelings. Let them know about your changes so they can better understand your actions.

6. Self-growth: This change is a great chance to get to know yourself better and develop your own unique personality and values!

7. **Seek support**: If you're feeling confused or struggling, don't be afraid to ask for help! Your friends, family, and even professionals can offer different perspectives and advice.

8. Stay open! You might feel more comfortable in your current state, but try to stay open-minded. You never know how much help you might be to someone else!

9. **Self-acceptance**: It's so important to accept all of you, the good and the bad. We all have different paths to growth, and it's so important to find a lifestyle that suits you.

10. **Professional help**: If you notice that your changes are affecting your daily life and relationships, it might be a good idea to chat with a counselor. They can help you better understand your emotions and behaviors.

Remember, everyone has their own unique journey of growth. It might take a little time to adjust and adapt, but that's perfectly normal! During this process, it's important to be kind and accepting of yourself.

It's also a great idea to keep an eye on your relationships with others, just to make sure that your self-care doesn't end up hurting anyone.

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Comments

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Laurance Davis The acquisition of knowledge from different social sciences is a mark of erudition.

I can relate to feeling like you're drifting away from how you used to treat others. It's tough when you notice a change in yourself and aren't sure if it's for the better or worse. Lately, I've been questioning my own actions too.

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Rhett Anderson Good teachers are costly, but bad teachers cost more.

Sometimes we go through phases where we become more focused on our own needs, and that's okay. It might be your body's way of telling you that you need some selfcare. Maybe this shift is just what you need right now to recharge.

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Lloyd Davis The secret to success is to see failure as an opportunity to grow and improve.

It sounds like you're going through a lot internally. Feeling that everyone else is negative can be a sign that you're carrying a lot of stress. Perhaps taking a step back and focusing on yourself for a while could help you reset.

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Mercy Thomas A person who forgives often finds more peace than they ever expected.

I think it's important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. If being a bit more selfcentered feels comfortable, maybe it's part of your personal growth. Just make sure it doesn't isolate you from the people who care about you.

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Leroy Thomas The essence of honesty is to always choose truth over convenience.

You're not alone in feeling this way. Many people struggle with balancing their own needs and the expectations of others. It might help to talk to someone you trust about these changes and see if they have any insights.

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