Am I possessive, suspicious, or delusional in my personality or character?

Dear questioner, I'm excited to answer your question!

From the questioner's description, it's clear that they're looking to gain insight into the question of whether there are any underlying paranoia or personality disorders at play, as well as the intriguing pomegranate incident. As I'm not a professional, I'm excited to offer my unprofessional opinion, with the hope that it will be helpful to the questioner!

From the text description, it's clear that the questioner deliberately described several events that contain particularly important elements.

Let's dive deep into the fascinating topic of depression! We'll explore the role of genetics, personality traits, and more.

Genetic diseases in my girlfriend's family, such as liver cancer, myopia, heart disease, etc.

And finally, there are the exciting issues of her household registration, whether she is biological, and so on.

From the above aspects that the questioner values, it feels that the questioner also suspects and believes that the other party is cheating on things that are not even worth mentioning. For example, the other party's household registration, genetic diseases in the other party's family relatives, etc. It seems that these issues have caused the questioner a lot of psychological distress. They always want to prove to the other party that their assumptions are correct, and even when the other party tells them, they still maintain a mentality of doubt, disbelief, being cheated on, and not trusting the other party. This may be related to the lifestyle of the original family. The words and deeds of the parents will be brought to the child, and the child will grow up by learning this way. It may be that you embody some kind of personality disorder in your parents. Of course, this requires professional psychological testing at the hospital, and only through a doctor's diagnosis report can you clearly understand what kind of personality disorder you have.

It's so inspiring to see you prioritizing love, loyalty, trust, and honesty above all else! While there might be a few hereditary factors at play, many diseases like liver cancer, heart disease, myopia, and hepatitis B are not necessarily genetic. The probability of myopia being genetically inherited is very small, and it's influenced by factors like the environment, behavior, and habits. It's so important to think critically and question what others say. I believe the questioner is a highly educated individual, and they should understand some of the nuances related to whether or not certain problems can be inherited. We can always check the literature and seek verification from doctors to see if these claims are true. Some doctors might not have a definitive answer, and we can't either. But that's okay! It just means there's still so much to learn and discover.

Let's talk about how the questioner handled the situation. By repeatedly pressuring your girlfriend to show you her medical reports, you made her feel disrespected and even violated her sense of boundaries. You made her feel suffocated. Now, imagine we ourselves have an illness and don't want to tell others. It is our right! At the same time, we must also understand that we can only be responsible for our own health, and no one else can. Even if your girlfriend has a problem, we have to vent our dissatisfaction with her because of her illness, so-called genetic disease, etc. We think cheating on us is a big deal, while everything else is trivial. Is this the way to love? Absolutely not! This approach will only make the other person flee. And you repeatedly confirmed some of your own conjectures to your girlfriend, which contained disdain, disrespect, doubt, etc. As a woman, I would also choose to flee just like your girlfriend. When the energy in the relationship is consumed more and more, it will eventually reach the breaking point. But we can avoid this by being more positive!

I'm really curious to know if the questioner thinks that this is the case!

After going through all this, we have the incredible opportunity to reflect on our relationship and draw lessons from it. At the same time, we get to ask ourselves why we have so many thoughts, doubts, and even suspicions about a trivial matter. Is it because we are unable or afraid to face our inner fears and are afraid to accept what we have caused?

Embrace yourself and love yourself! Regarding the previous relationship, since the questioner cannot accept the other person's concealment, etc., even if there is a deep relationship, I think giving up is the best choice. At the same time, I think this is also an opportunity for the questioner to grow. For things we are not sure about, why not speculate wildly and not label ourselves? Just as we can't say for sure whether we have a personality disorder, why not accept everything about ourselves and just be ourselves? Be happy and optimistic, and bring happiness to others! Learn to think independently, be an independent personality, have your own judgment, and in the next relationship, trust each other and give each other space. You'll achieve a relationship where you can grow together!

I really hope this helps the original poster! Please forgive me if it makes you uncomfortable.

Good day.

I am grateful for the opportunity to offer you some guidance.

From your written description, I can sense the emotions between you and your girlfriend. After all, you have been dating for two years and may be hesitant to part ways, and you may not be fully confident in your decision to break up.

It is possible that your own personality traits, such as paranoia, suspicion, or delusions, may have caused you to make a biased decision and miss a good girl. Therefore, you have compiled the past content and some key events between you and your ex-girlfriend and posted them on our platform, hoping to find the answer you're looking for in the answers provided by the many experts below.

Perhaps there is a key word in the sentence I just said called "the answer you want."

This phrase may reflect your concern that your character will hold you back, potentially leading to misguided decisions and the loss of a promising relationship. It could also indicate that you have a personal inclination but are struggling to reconcile it with your current perspective. Your girlfriend, too, has her own views, making it challenging for her to decide which path to take. She sought guidance from us by posing this question.

I will now read through the summary you provided and analyze each point to see if it can help you find what you are looking for.

From what you've shared about your two years of dating, it seems like your relationship is going well. It's clear that you value mutual respect and equality in a relationship, which is wonderful to hear.

You also mentioned that you are open to accepting certain forms of misrepresentation if it aligns with the other person's desire to present a certain image.

It seems that you are able to forgive your girlfriend for some of her initial deceptive behavior. However, as your relationship deepened and you got to know her family better, you may have started to have some doubts about a number of things, such as the family's genetic disease issues and her background.

I believe that every family has its own unique way of interacting with one another. Given the size of your ex-girlfriend's extended family, it's understandable that we, as outsiders, may not have a comprehensive understanding of their specific relationship dynamics.

It's possible that your girlfriend has also talked about many things she doesn't really understand or know. As a younger generation, you may not be able to ask too many detailed questions about your elders' affairs. Therefore, regarding her background and the relationship between her relatives, there may be more guesses on both sides.

Then you talked about how, because your ex-girlfriend had a boyfriend like you, you thought that the other person's relatives might feel jealous and think that the girl has found a boyfriend. They might try to get your attention through more or less subtle remarks, which could make you doubt the idea and give up on the girl.

I respectfully disagree with this point of view. While it may be a possibility, it is not something that can be verified. Therefore, when it comes to the potential hereditary diseases mentioned by their relatives, I believe it is important to consider this information carefully and objectively.

If your girlfriend often hides her blood test reports or some medical reports about her illness, it's possible that she may be hiding something. In such a case, it might be helpful to gently remind her of the importance of honesty in a relationship.

Perhaps the best way forward is to be honest with each other and try to sincerely share our confusion and difficulties. It's possible that your girlfriend may have a blood-related condition, perhaps because she's afraid of losing you or doesn't know how to face this illness, which could potentially harm her marriage.

Perhaps it would be best not to question the authenticity of her illness, but rather to tell her that we need to build on sincerity in order to continue the conversation. You may also want to express the fact that you have depression.

Perhaps you could take the initiative and share your situation first, and then allow the other person to do the same.

This can also help to ensure that you each feel heard and understood, which is essential for building a strong, supportive relationship.

I believe this is related to your ex-girlfriend's family. You also mentioned that her father had liver cancer and had passed away.

Regarding the question of whether to eat soft-seeded or hard-seeded pomegranates, I believe your keen observation is an advantage, but there may be some overthinking involved in this matter.

I hope I'm not misunderstanding you. If I've understood correctly, the soft-seeded pomegranate can be eaten with the seeds, right?

And pomegranates have seeds that can be challenging to digest.

Her father is in the ICU and it is difficult for him to eat. Perhaps her father really likes pomegranates, or perhaps they thought that pomegranates are relatively small and relatively easy for patients to eat, so they can fulfill the wish of eating fruit.

I thought it might be helpful to choose a seedless pomegranate, so that she can enjoy it without worrying about spitting out the seeds. The pomegranate is also very juicy, which might help her father to appreciate the deliciousness of the fruit.

It seems that you are interpreting this matter using homophony and the implied meaning of different types of pomegranates. It is possible that you feel that his daughter and wife are mocking you and disrespecting his father, although I can understand why you might have a different perspective.

Perhaps the most helpful thing you can do is ask your girlfriend. It's possible she's feeling a bit reluctant at the moment, and it's understandable. After all, her father also passed away not long ago, and it's natural for her to feel protective of this topic.

I'm sorry if I'm unable to answer your questions fully or promptly, as this may have caused you to overthink the situation.

In light of the circumstances, I can see that you are a person who is devoted to your family and is very sincere. However, there are some things you really want to know, and you especially want to know the truth. But what exactly do we mean by the truth?

It might be worth questioning whether everything we know is, in fact, the truth.

And sometimes what we see may not be entirely accurate. It may be helpful to first reflect on our own thoughts and feelings, and then engage in a constructive dialogue with your girlfriend to share your perspective and listen to her thoughts.

On the one hand, we must believe in our own logical way of thinking, while also understanding the sincerity of what those around us are saying. The truth can be determined by our own actual situation.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a step back and view the situation from the perspective of an outsider.

If you are unable to accept the possibility of losing your girlfriend, you may wish to consider talking to her. If you have come to terms with the situation, you might find it helpful to reflect on the experiences you have gained from this relationship.

I believe you have gained a great deal from this relationship, and you also have your own independent analysis of this type of actual situation, which will undoubtedly inform your future romantic life plans.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

Good morning, dear questioner!

My name is Yi Ming, and I'm a heart exploration coach.

I have taken the time to carefully read your question and have come to understand the cause and development of the situation to a certain extent.

I appreciate your thoughtful reflection and exploration.

I would be delighted to have a conversation with you about this. I will focus on my feelings, and I hope that it will be of some inspiration to you.

1. How might we view the importance we occasionally attach to a certain issue?

If it isn't an inconvenience, I would like to ask you a few simple questions to help us test ourselves to see if there is any paranoia.

If it isn't an inconvenience, I would like to ask you a few simple questions. This will help us test ourselves to see if there is any paranoia.

If I might give an example,

How would you describe your relationships with the people around you?

Could I ask whether you feel that most people are untrustworthy?

Could I ask you whether you tend to ignore objective evidence?

Have you ever had thoughts or ideas that you felt were unique to you?

...

There are some helpful online tests that you can take to assess your situation.

If you feel this is something you need to address, you may wish to consider visiting a medical professional.

Perhaps it would be best to save this topic for another time.

It is fair to say that in our daily lives, we all have moments where we feel this way.

It may be the case that other people don't care much about something, but the more you think about it, the more you may feel that there is something wrong.

I would also appreciate a definitive response.

It might be helpful to try to relax and realize that we may be caught up in the problem.

As a general rule, it is helpful to consider three dimensions when attributing responsibility for a situation. These are the self, the situation, and other people.

It might also be helpful to consider issues from these three perspectives.

It is understandable that you, as his boyfriend, might have some feelings or thoughts about what happened with his father in the ICU.

Perhaps it's simply a matter of perception.

It may be the case that objective facts are not always as important as we think. It is possible that it is the psychological reality that affects us.

It would be helpful to ascertain whether you and your girlfriend have a minimum of trust, understanding, and respect.

Everyone has a different background and naturally has different beliefs and ways of doing things.

It might be worth considering that the more we try to explore, the more we risk pushing each other away.

It might be worth considering that trying to fix it might end up going against your original wishes.

Perhaps a more flexible approach could help things to go more smoothly.

2. From a relationship perspective, it seems that love requires learning.

From my own perspective, I don't think you're being paranoid or delusional.

With regard to the pomegranate incident you mentioned, it may be the case that you are still affected by it.

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we may find ourselves unable to fully comprehend a situation.

It might be the case that this event is at odds with the values of your girlfriend's family.

It might also be helpful to consider that you are inadvertently involved in this situation.

It appears that this pomegranate may hold a special significance.

You mentioned that you initially perceived the remark as angry and felt as though you had done something wrong. It's understandable that you would feel this way, as it's possible that they were looking down on you.

There is nothing inherently wrong with it, but because of this association, you are interested in buying pomegranates again to gain a deeper understanding of the hidden meaning behind it.

This brings to mind a number of related ideas.

I would like to respectfully suggest that you read the book Love, Need to Learn.

I recognize that this book may not seem directly related to the question you asked, but I genuinely believe that this is something we all need to learn throughout our lives.

The book suggests that our daily lives are made up of both factual events and relational events.

It could be said that the factual events are those that occurred before and after the purchase of the pomegranates, which could be considered more relational events.

I believe there is a distinction to be made between factual events and relational events.

Factual events are often seen as isolated, either as your business or as mine.

I believe that relationship events are things that happen between two people. It seems to me that your actions affect me, and my actions affect you. This mutual influence seems to me to be the essence of relationship events.

It might be said that factual events are objective, while relational events are subjective.

It might be helpful to consider whether there are some underlying issues in your relationship.

It would be beneficial to consider these things before something like this happens.

Perhaps it would be helpful for us to learn to trust and see if our thoughts are incorrect or incomplete.

It might be helpful to try to look at the relationship from a relational perspective and see if there are any problems with the communication between the two of you.

It might be helpful to take some time to reflect on what happened and to identify any underlying concerns or fears you may have.

It might be helpful to try to test reality.

If you feel comfortable doing so, please feel free to share these.

This may require us to take our time to gradually work through things and grow as individuals.

I hope this finds you well.

Good day, host.

After carefully reviewing the two descriptions on Zhihu and the supplementary explanations provided by your former partner regarding certain issues, I have gained a more comprehensive understanding of the situation.

In my assessment, the primary issue hindering the success of your relationship is the lack of effective communication and trust.

Your former girlfriend described the relationship as "slightly ridiculous." It would be helpful to understand what specifically she found so ridiculous that it could not continue.

It is advisable to avoid self-labelling with such negative terms. From my perspective, the original poster appears to be highly attuned to certain information, to be vigilant about potential issues, and to be driven to find solutions.

From the discovery of occasional lies by your girlfriend to the incident involving the physical examination report, there have been issues with trust in your relationship. Following a series of events, including her father's diagnosis, her mother's heart disease, and remarks about genetic diseases in her family, your girlfriend has become increasingly uncooperative in providing information, which has caused significant distress and eroded the trust between you.

This relationship is about the future, and it appears that you are attempting to ascertain whether your girlfriend has been withholding information from you rather than attempting to repair the relationship. It seems that you are attempting to confirm your assumptions through their relatives and children, particularly the two inferences on Zhihu: "my girlfriend's background" and "single gene testing for genetic diseases." The veracity of these two matters has not significantly impacted the relationship.

Once doubt is introduced, the damage is already done.

It may appear that you are more fearful of the unknown and being deceived than of certainty. In my view, your primary challenge is your tendency to doubt and overthink, which is negatively impacting your relationships. It is unfortunate that you did not recognize this issue earlier, as it could have been addressed more effectively. Furthermore, your girlfriend has been unable to provide you with the sense of certainty and security you require.

After discussing the matter with you, I would like to share my impression of your former girlfriend.

In this situation, I believe that your girlfriend also bears significant responsibility. Her family environment and upbringing may have influenced her to feel insecure and unable to accept herself fully. When faced with a challenge, her initial reaction may be to "hide," followed by "avoid" or "resist," rather than speaking up and being honest. This can lead to increased suspicion and a sense of being cheated on.

Opinion on the Pomegranate Incident

There appears to be a discrepancy between your perceptions and your girlfriend's actions. This discrepancy may be attributed to your suspicion and her avoidance. As a result, there seems to be a lack of mutual understanding between you both.

To be frank, I was taken aback by the pomegranate incident, and I personally find these feudal superstitions to be distasteful.

It is evident that your girlfriend was aware of the impropriety of requesting you to bring "soft-seeded pomegranates" in this context. Instead of upholding the customs and standing with you against her mother, she chose to deceive you and even prevent you from discovering the truth. This resulted in you being prevented from purchasing "hard-seeded pomegranates" from a more convenient location. Regardless of their considerations, this deception alone is enough to make someone feel uncomfortable. Therefore, in this relationship, your suspicions are understandable.

It is, however, unnecessary to speculate about their intentions. If the relationship allows, the best course of action would be to ask your girlfriend.

All opinions are personal and subjective. It is also challenging for me to maintain an objective stance, so I will simply share some personal insights.

I hope this information is useful to you.

Hello, question asker. I've read your questions.

You seem to have had a very hard life.

Let's talk about your upbringing.

You are the child of peasant parents from a modest background, but you have graduated from university and are now working in Beijing. You are very good at your studies and at work.

Now that you're ready to start a family, you're facing some challenges and doubts. There's no such thing as a good or bad personality, and suspicion isn't negative. Think about it: isn't suspicion related to seeking the truth?

You always look for the truth because you don't have enough information to make decisions.

You keep speculating about genetic diseases and pomegranates.

You're serious.

I have a point of view on the pomegranate question.

Why did your girlfriend take your phone away and refuse to let you look it up, only to tell you later about the moral of the two types of pomegranates? I think she just didn't want to cause you trouble.

If we think about it, it doesn't matter if the other person is from the countryside.

The girlfriend's mother and we are all influenced by rural culture.

On suspicion.

People can be very suspicious of each other. For some, it's just a passing thought, but for others, it's like there's a little person inside them, and they can't get past it. In most cases of relationship breakdowns, suspicion is the main issue.

Equal communication is the best way to resolve suspicion. Have an in-depth conversation with your girlfriend.

I also saw your comments and your girlfriend's. She was confused about genetic diseases too. Go to the hospital for a check-up and ask a doctor.

⭐ Questions about human nature

We've already talked about suspicion, communication, and exchange.

Bigotry is an obsession with one's own opinion.

If you have your own opinion and don't agree with everyone, people might call you paranoid.

But holding on to your own views and thinking they're the truth is also paranoia.

If you don't believe your girlfriend, you won't have a happy relationship.

☆Fantasy is a giant in thought, a dwarf in action.

When people face problems, they often lose touch with reality and get caught up in their own fantasies.

After some family problems with your girlfriend, you should still be practical and believe in the facts. Work together to face the problem as one.

I hope this helps the original poster.

I wish you success and happiness.

?

Hello, host. I hope my answer helps.

You need to communicate more effectively in your relationship. If you can do that, you will be very happy. It seems like you care about each other, but you don't know how to take care of each other's needs.

Teachers have already answered the question of personality. I will talk about intimacy. You need to learn to manage your intimacy to grow personally in the relationship.

People often think that love is enough to keep a relationship together. But love is not perfect. It has its own characteristics. When two people get along, they are in a relationship. A relationship needs to be managed and maintained.

Intimate relationships only last if we learn to manage and maintain them.

Let's look at the characteristics and laws of developing intimacy.

Intimacy develops in four stages, each with its own characteristics and potential risks.

1. Passion period.

The period of passion is the first stage of intimacy and also the period when it is easiest to get married. We tend to see only the good things about each other and are motivated to pretend to be the ideal lover. However, this feeling of happiness can only last for three to six months. Therefore, the beautiful feelings during this stage are only temporary. After that, the intimate relationship will enter a period of adjustment.

2. The adjustment period.

During the conflict stage of intimacy, problems emerge. Passion fades, problems surface, love is tested, and intimacy is challenged.

You'll both want more time alone and be less dependent on each other.

You've shown each other your flaws. If you feel you can't reconcile these and want to change the other person, and they want you to change too, you'll likely fight and break up.

The period of adjustment is the hardest part of love.

3. Introspection period.

After the trial period, couples start to reflect on themselves. They look at their own problems and patterns. They think about what they can do to change. This is an important time for growth and relationship improvement.

4. Enlightenment period.

This stage is also called the enlightenment stage. At this stage, we learn to love each other and accept our partners for who they are. This leads to a deeper level of intimacy.

Not many relationships reach this stage, and it's not easy. But we and our partners need to work together to move forward.

Knowing about intimacy helps you see that problems are normal. Don't avoid them, learn to resolve them and get to know each other better. It's better to get married when you can resolve problems because marriage is more complicated.

How can we successfully go through these four stages?

1. Accept each other and learn to get along.

We are all different. Our personalities are shaped by things like our upbringing, education, and environment.

If you want to change someone, it will be difficult.

If the other person doesn't want to change, we can't change them. The book "A Change of Heart" says: There are only three things in the world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven. We are troubled because we worry about other people's affairs and the affairs of heaven.

We can't control other people, but we can control ourselves. We can express our needs, love and respect, accept and understand them.

This will influence her and bring about changes.

When we accept others for who they are and learn to tolerate their flaws, we worry less and our relationships improve.

2. Learn to communicate and build trust.

Communication is about understanding each other and building a better relationship.

To communicate well, you need to share your feelings and needs. You can use the method of non-violent communication. This means stating facts, expressing feelings, needs and asking for actions.

Note: Be objective when stating facts. Be honest about your needs and feelings. Be specific when asking someone to do something.

Also, communicate every day, share, and avoid conflict.

When you can express your feelings and needs, share each other's lives, and let your partner understand you, you can feel more secure.

3. Make rituals stronger.

Rituals help love last. How can you make rituals stronger?

Set rules.

You can make rules to make sure you interact regularly. For example, you can say goodnight every night, talk about conflicts, and not let arguments last overnight.

Create romance.

Show your partner you care by expressing your love and appreciation. Surprise them with a thoughtful gift or gesture when you see them. If you travel often, buy them something they've mentioned to you. This will remind them of your love and commitment.

4. Create romantic expectations and commit to each other.

Love is about intimacy, passion, and commitment.

As your relationship develops, commitment becomes more important. It helps you overcome difficulties. If you don't have expectations for the future, it will be hard to keep moving forward. So, it's good to set some common expectations and be as specific as you can. For example, "This weekend, I will cook a big meal for you."

You can plan where to have your wedding, buy your new home, decorate it, go on trips, hike or go to the beach on weekends, and visit friends.

When life is full of expectations, the future will be happy.

It's easier said than done, but if you're willing to work hard at your relationship, you'll support, trust, understand, help, and grow together. You'll have a long-lasting intimate relationship.

Blessings!

Hello, dear question asker! From your text, I can see that you have already broken up and moved out, and I can imagine you might be feeling quite down. I don't know if you still want to read the replies to this question, but I just wanted to share some personal feelings about the "pomegranate incident" from a hindsight perspective, in the hope that it will be enlightening.

One school of psychology is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT has a five-factor model: situation-interpretation-emotion-physiological and somatic response-behavioral response. Emotion (feelings), thoughts, and actions form a cognitive triangle that influences each other. In a certain situation (event), a person's emotions, actions (words), etc., are closely related to his thoughts (interpretations, automatic thoughts) about the event, and these thoughts are in turn related to the intermediate beliefs and core beliefs formed in his upbringing.

I'd like to take a moment to share my thoughts on the "pomegranate incident" using CBT theory.

1. Situation: On August 16, she went to visit her ex-girlfriend's father in the ICU. She specifically asked her to bring soft-seeded pomegranates. After she brought them, her ex-girlfriend's mother asked if they were soft-seeded or hard-seeded, and she answered that they were soft-seeded, so she let her give them to her father to try.

2. Thought: The questioner believes that her father cannot eat pomegranates, and that her mother's request to send soft-seeded pomegranates has other intentions (automatic thinking: angry words, looking down on me).

3. Thought: feeling like maybe he did something wrong.

4. Behavior: He was really curious to find out the meaning of sending soft-seeded pomegranates. He braved the rain to go out and buy hard-seeded pomegranates, even though his ex-girlfriend didn't want him to. He was also really interested to ask about the meaning of soft-seeded pomegranates.

5. Situation: She told me something really interesting! Apparently, if you eat a soft-seeded pomegranate and don't spit out the seeds, it means there are no seeds. But if you eat a hard-seeded pomegranate and spit out the seeds, it means there are seeds!

6. Idea: I wonder if I should ask her father to eat the seedless pomegranate? I'm not sure if it's because he's in the ICU and they're not sure how to take care of him, or if there's something else going on.

I wonder why she asked for a seedless pomegranate. It makes me think that maybe she isn't her father's biological child, or perhaps he doesn't have a son.

Behavior 7: You're questioning your ex-girlfriend with your own thoughts.

8. Thoughts: There are no perfect sons in the hospital bed, and human nature is not always pretty. What they did was more than enough.

9. Ex-girlfriend's reaction: She was hurt when I kept bringing up this issue and saying that I doubted her because of it. I can see how that would be upsetting!

In the above analysis, the questioner expressed relatively little about his emotions, but in reviewing the situation, you can follow the feelings and see what emotions were present at the time. If you can write them down, it may be more conducive to self-awareness, and I'm here to help you with that!

From the situation in 1 to the thoughts in 2, I wonder if the questioner can see more thoughts when they think back. For example, let's imagine you're a bystander. You could squeeze the soft-seeded pomegranate to get the juice out and drip it into your father's mouth. The soft-seeded pomegranate will probably come out better!

It's totally normal to have these thoughts, especially when we've done something wrong. It's also normal to feel angry or like we're being looked down on. These feelings can be a result of previous experiences, and it's important to understand where they're coming from.

Questioner's behavior 1: Check the meaning of soft-seeded pomegranates, and without knowing the meaning, be sure to correct the mistake and buy hard-seeded pomegranates. I'm really curious about what the questioner was thinking here. It seems like there's something mysterious going on. Similar items represent luck, and giving the wrong thing will destroy luck and bring bad results.

I'm not sure if it's related to my childhood, but I think it's so interesting to consider what emotions the questioner might be feeling at this moment. It's likely a mix of fear, tension, and anxiety, especially given the act of braving the rain to complete it. It's so important to recognize and acknowledge our emotions, even if they're difficult to face. I find it helpful to ask myself what I'm truly afraid of, too.

Behavior 2: Asked about the meaning of the two types of pomegranates and got the reply "no seeds." My ex-girlfriend had replied before that I only bought soft-seeded pomegranates because I didn't want to spit out the seeds, and "no seeds" was just a slip of the tongue.

The questioner's idea 2: He made his father angry and wasn't his biological child.

The thoughts in these two places are also quite jumpy. The questioner guesses that his ex-girlfriend and mother are thinking "Get mad," and he thinks he's right! He'll use this thought to question his girlfriend, and later "forgive" her with the reason that "no filial son is found in the bed of a hundred diseases." It's like adding charges to your ex-girlfriend in your heart and acquitting her with your own reasons.

But for the ex-girlfriend, it must be really upsetting to be falsely accused, which is why she brings it up again and again. I'm sure the original poster can also feel and perceive this mental journey and emotional experience.

There's a fascinating theory in psychology that there's no one outside of me, and external objects are mostly just projections of my mind.

It's so true that we're all different, and we all see things differently. We feel different things, and we act differently because of those feelings. And of course, we all have our own reasons for doing what we do. So, after exploring, perhaps when you are in a similar situation again, you will be more at ease.

Hi, I'm Chenjing, a counselor, and I really hope my answer will give you a little inspiration!

Hello, dear question asker!

After reading your two posts, I'm really curious and confused.

I'm really curious to know what happened to make you question your own character or personality for paranoia, suspicion, or delusions?

I'm really curious to know what led you to make this pathological assessment of yourself and to give yourself this label.

I totally get where you're coming from! You have come to this conclusion based on the following points:

First, we have to look at family background factors.

My mom is a little on the paranoid side, but she hasn't been diagnosed with a personality disorder.

My father is honest and weak.

Second, there are some things about me that I've noticed:

I was diagnosed with depression in 2014.

And then there was the pomegranate incident.

I'm sure you've thought about this too, right?

I'm just wondering, what made you take it so seriously? It was only a relatively minor incident, buying a pomegranate.

I'm wondering if you ever thought about the meaning of the symbols "pitted pomegranate" and "seedless pomegranate"?

I'm wondering if the meaning of these symbols activates your stress response to correct the "mistake" you've made?

When you tried with all your passion to show your love and filial piety, you bought pomegranates with soft seeds, which, bless your heart, became a thorn in your heart!

A misunderstanding arose, and you felt a lot of self-blame and guilt. To make up for this,

You were really trying to make up for your mistakes, but it was hard because everyone had a different perspective on the situation, which caused a misunderstanding!

I'd also love to know if this way of thinking about yourself is connected to the breakup with your girlfriend.

I'm really interested to know how this incident affected you.

What can we learn from these events?

Treat the people you care about most very seriously and sincerely. I know others may think you're a bit too serious, but I think you're just being thoughtful!

But it really shows how innocent and kind you are!

I'd also like to add a few more points.

We all have our moments! We might be a little paranoid, a little suspicious, or even delusional deep down, but the ingredients are different.

It's so important to remember that age differences and individual differences in sensitivity lead to different behavioral consequences.

For example, we would never, ever accuse or criticize a healthy three-year-old for being paranoid, sensitive, suspicious, or delusional.

I think we can all agree that we should avoid blaming or criticizing others, or even giving them a pathological label.

Furthermore, we should be careful not to give adults in certain special circumstances a pathological label simply because they have a short period of paranoia.

I just wonder if we should be so quick to give people a pathological label for things like paranoia and delusions.

It's like an adult who's had a bit too much to drink and an adult man or woman who's just been through a sexual incident.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on these personality traits.

It might be helpful to look at things from a dialectical and unified perspective. For instance, the way these symptoms show up

It might be part of your personality, which makes you persistent in order to learn and work at certain times.

You're really quite good at that!

On the other hand, when it comes to relationships with other people, this personality trait can sometimes cause them to misunderstand you.

It can make the other person feel a bit misunderstood.

Finally, on a practical level, you actually used the cost of a formal consultation as a reward for seeking help from everyone, which I think is a great idea!

It's so great to see how much you've analyzed yourself and put your heart and soul into this!

It's just like how you buy pomegranates. From this perspective, you really take things more seriously than the average person, don't you think? I think you do!

I just wanted to let you know that, because the data is limited, the above analysis is for reference only.

Hello, I'm Consultant Yao, and I'm here to support and care for you!

Good day, question asker. I have come to answer your question in the hope that I can be frank with you.

I must admit that I cannot guarantee that I can provide a definitive answer to resolve the questioner's confusion. However, I can offer a different perspective.

I hope this will provide you with food for thought.

Firstly, I have also reviewed the original poster's description and Zhihu, so I am aware that this is a lengthy account.

I must confess that I am unsure as to the original intention of the questioner's point of doubt.

Let me put it this way: what are your concerns and priorities regarding your own well-being?

If you have concerns about your mental state, including paranoia, suspicion, or delusional thinking, you can arrange for a direct examination and testing.

This includes diseases that you believe, worry about, or suspect may be possible, regardless of whether they are medically confirmed.

If your financial situation allows, we recommend a comprehensive health assessment, including both physical and mental components, followed by the appropriate psychological testing.

The objective of the physical examination is to rule out the presence of any organic lesions.

If this is not the case, especially if there is no fictional fantasy component.

If you can distinguish between these emotions and recognize that they are not a psychiatric diagnosis, you are not experiencing a psychological illness.

Firstly, it is important to note that paranoia can be ruled out.

As previously stated, should a physical illness or other definitive diagnosis be identified, it is recommended that appropriate treatment be sought.

Secondly, psychological tests can be used to assess these traits.

By taking a suitable professional test, you can determine whether you exhibit tendencies toward paranoia, suspicion, and so forth.

It is important to note that psychological tests are not always accurate and require interpretation by a professional or multiple references, rather than relying on a single result.

Furthermore, even if you do exhibit such a tendency, it is advisable to refrain from discussing it at this time. There is a significant distinction between this and the aforementioned illness.

It is a common human experience to experience negative emotions.

It is a common experience to feel paranoid, suspicious, or even anxious or depressed. It is unlikely that anyone can claim to be entirely free of negative emotions, to be optimistically inclined, to trust others unconditionally, or to love the world unconditionally.

These figures are the gods of stories.

Such individuals are not common.

We all have shortcomings and inadequacies, but the key is to find ways to alleviate and soothe them, and even seek answers.

As illustrated by the questioner's current actions.

To gain a deeper understanding of yourself, it is beneficial to reflect on your thoughts and experiences, which can provide valuable insights.

From a realistic perspective, it appears that both the OP and his girlfriend may have some personal issues. However, there are also some objective factors at play.

As an impartial observer, I am unable to provide constructive guidance.

It is important to note that there are no definitive right or wrong answers when it comes to relationships.

If you still have feelings for each other, I do not believe it is necessary to seek a professional diagnosis of a mental illness.

It may be beneficial to consider counseling as a couple.

Psychological counseling is not only available to individuals, but also to couples.

You may wish to consult together to ascertain whose situation it is.

Or, in fact, both parties are committed to open communication, ensuring that their statements are clearly articulated, understood, and addressed.

Have both parties promptly addressed the points that have been raised, explained, questioned, or expressed concern about?

Or, perhaps, there is a lack of trust between the two parties.

To put it simply, you may believe that you have caused me harm and have apologized verbally or in writing. I have indicated that I accept your apology, that I am not concerned about the incident, and that I forgive you.

Furthermore, you stated, "I do not believe you are being truthful."

It is also possible that the previous apology was not sincere. When the other party expresses a desire to make amends, they may be unwavering in their insistence that you have caused them harm.

This is not a matter of fact, but rather a problem of your inability to trust each other. Please clarify whether your issue is with the other person's lack of care, trust, or honesty, or if there is something else at play.

This is an issue with the way the relationship is being managed, but it is not a reflection of any individual's shortcomings.

This includes the option of arranging a check-up at your own convenience.

However, there is no requirement for this. In the event that you believe there may be an issue with your partner, it is advisable to allow them to conduct their own investigation.

It is important to note the distinction between experiencing symptoms and being medically diagnosed with an illness.

It is not uncommon for individuals to experience a range of symptoms, including feelings of sadness, anxiety, obsession, and doubt.

The ex-girlfriend's description: "I hope I can get a professional judgment." After determining whether he is or not, what is the purpose?

Similarly, if the inquirer were to pose the same question to their partner or family members,

"Is there a disease or a genetic predisposition to a disease?", yes or no. There is no obligation to provide a response.

If your relationship has reached a certain stage, there is no reason to exclude honesty from the relationship. However, if it has not reached that point, honesty can be introduced gradually.

It is important to note that even in the context of a legally-binding marriage, there is no obligation to disclose personal information.

In accordance with the Civil Code, should both parties be aware of a serious illness yet fail to inform the other, the marriage may be annulled within a specified timeframe.

One option is to simply ignore the fact that you are married.

However, there is a possibility that the other person is unaware. To eliminate this possibility, it is advisable to undergo a premarital examination. If the condition is indeed present, it would be prudent to refrain from marriage.

It is also possible that the other person may be genetically predisposed.

It should be noted that this is not stipulated in the law. In essence, the latter is merely a moral standard, which still represents a relatively high moral requirement.

It is not the case that one is unable to dislike others. There may be a number of reasons for this, including a lack of financial resources, which increases the likelihood of illness within the family. Alternatively, it may be that the family's frequent illnesses are the cause of financial difficulties.

This is a practical issue that requires a solution.

Ultimately, the goal is to marry someone and move forward together. It is important to recognize that, in addition to love, there are also practical considerations in life.

If circumstances make it unfeasible to maintain a relationship, it is advisable to part ways amicably. It is important to recognize that compatibility is not always guaranteed, and there is no need to assign blame.

In the event that a family member is unwell, even if you yourself are also unwell, the most appropriate course of action is to treat the illness. Similarly, if something is not done well, the most appropriate course of action is to adjust and improve it.

There is no need to be overly preoccupied with this issue. Given the current level of medical science, this is not an unsolvable problem. However, it is important to recognize that subsequent lives may not be particularly satisfactory.

If you have concerns about genetic factors and disease risks, it is possible to have medical tests to detect and identify, for example, the 23 gene. Alternatively, you can register with a hospital department to receive the results directly.

It is important to note that illness is a distinct issue. Even if an individual leads a disciplined lifestyle, eats well, sleeps well, and exercises regularly, and their health indicators are normal,

Even if you only have a genetic risk, you will never contract that disease.

There is also the other person, who stays up late every night, smokes and drinks, eats a diet high in sugar, salt and calories, and doesn't exercise. Even if there is no genetic risk, the probability of something going wrong is not insignificant.

If you still wish to reconcile, please do so together. Effective communication is essential, as is expressing your love and need for each other, as well as your willingness to collaborate in problem-solving. This will help to gain the other person's understanding and facilitate a return to a positive relationship.

As an alternative to observing the situation from the sidelines and, at the very least, requesting the involvement of a third party for observation and commentary,

Ultimately, are these opinions used to facilitate mutual analysis?

Or are you simply expressing your frustrations to each other?

In the event of a serious illness, you can still provide support for each other.

The key is to achieve emotional and practical acceptance of each other and of yourselves.

In the event that you are unable to continue, it is important to bid farewell in a proper manner, to depart on good terms, and to avoid worrying about the future. You have the option of returning at a later date, and there is a possibility that a new opportunity will arise.

The remainder of your life is quite lengthy, and maintaining a sense of peace and joy is of great importance. It is crucial to allow yourself the freedom to adapt and grow.

That is all.

The fundamental characteristics of paranoid personality disorder include an inclination towards excessive suspicion and mistrust. The motives behind the words and actions of others are often misinterpreted in a negative manner. For instance, a seemingly innocuous statement or action in everyday communication may be perceived as a deliberate act of harm, intimidation, or deceit by the patient. Even if the message is not inherently malicious from the perspective of typical interpersonal communication, the patient may still perceive it as a deliberate act of ridicule, sarcasm, or attack.

It is important to note that individuals with paranoid personality disorder may react in ways that seem justified to them, with intense emotions, words, and even actions. These can include strong anger, angry emotions, excessive accusations, verbal attacks, and even physical attacks in some cases. Such strong and unreasonable reactions are often unexpected and unprepared for by the other party, making it challenging to communicate and interact with them in a normal way in the future.

It is not uncommon for excessive suspicion to manifest as a symptom of paranoid personality disorder in one's spouse or sexual partner. The rigid and unyielding thinking and behavioral patterns associated with paranoid personality disorder can impede communication and interaction, leading to a pervasive decline in interpersonal relationships.

The potential causes of paranoid personality disorder are linked to genetics, biochemistry, and family education methods.

It is advisable to schedule an appointment with a medical professional at a hospital or similar facility for a comprehensive examination.

In light of the aforementioned details, I would also like to analyze the incident from the following aspects:

In light of the aforementioned details, I would also like to analyze some aspects that I know:

ICU doctors place a high value on the nutritional intake of critically ill patients. The food provided to patients in the ICU is subject to inspection. As a sterile clinic, each patient is assigned a dedicated doctor and nurse, and any visit requires inspection. The hospital assumes responsibility for any issues that arise.

If it is indeed the case that a family member is unable to directly opt for the cessation of treatment and the transfer of the patient out of the ICU ward without bearing the associated costs, the patient will inevitably lose their physiological functions once they are no longer under the protection of the ICU. It is therefore questionable why such a risky course of action would be chosen.

The older generation tends to adhere more closely to traditional values and practices, particularly in the face of adversity. They often seek positive outcomes through the invocation of auspicious symbols and rituals, even if these practices may appear somewhat anachronistic. Their actions, though perhaps not fully aligned with modern sensibilities, still hold some merit. They aspire for a favorable resolution.

Your girlfriend may have confiscated your phone to prevent you from checking, but it may also be because she doesn't want you to become overly involved in this matter. She approves of the pomegranate you brought, and doesn't want any other extensions.

v In your account, you describe a situation in which you feel remorse, wish to make amends, and have taken action. Throughout this process, your former romantic partner has also expressed concern for your well-being and has been concerned that this incident will cause you problems.

v The rationale behind the concealment Genetic diseases are uncertain, and there is a reluctance to confirm that one has a genetic disease, except in relatively certain cases. Frequently, what people call genetic diseases are simply conjectures about the concentrated occurrence of similar diseases.

There are many potential causes, and it is not possible to determine the root cause through conjecture alone. To identify the underlying issue, a comprehensive and systematic follow-up investigation of the entire family tree is necessary.

The precise point at which genetic diseases begin is unclear. Despite the current relatively comprehensive testing methods, the occurrence of genetic diseases cannot be avoided. Furthermore, the occurrence of genetic diseases is not an individual problem and cannot be completely avoided.

v During that period of time, there were many individuals who were unable to be registered in the household registry until they were more than ten years old. In response to the tracking of family planning, many families were forced to hide the existence of their children in a reasonable way because they could not afford the huge fines. This is a very common practice in many places, and it is not difficult to prove.

v The most significant challenge to the integration of two disparate families is not their economic disparity, but the complexity of aligning their values, perspectives, and beliefs. A robust romantic partnership necessitates two individuals who are equally matched, and this principle extends to the domain of marriage. Regardless of one's inclination to acknowledge it, this remains an inherent truth.

v The most significant challenge to the integration of two disparate families is not their economic disparity, but the difficulty in aligning their values, perspectives, and beliefs. A healthy romantic partnership necessitates two individuals of equal standing, and this principle extends to marriage. Regardless of personal sentiment, this is the fundamental requirement. When the disparity between two individuals in a marriage is pronounced, it often leads to heightened difficulties.

v The environments in which you two grew up and the different ways of understanding things that resulted from these different environments will have an impact on your lives. If you are not prepared to accept responsibility for your own actions, you should pursue this matter further.

v The environments in which you two grew up and the different ways of understanding things that resulted from these different environments will have an impact on your lives. If you are not prepared to accept responsibility for your own share of the blame,

In conclusion,

v Love is often unsuccessful, either due to a lack of excitement in the relationship or a sense of sadness when the couple is apart. While love can be a beautiful experience at the outset, the ultimate outcome may differ for each individual.

It is important to recognize that love is not always successful. It is not uncommon for relationships to end in boredom or sadness due to the inherent challenges of navigating the complexities of human emotion. The initial stages of love are often filled with beauty and promise, but the ultimate outcome is unique to each individual.

You are two unique individuals. Prior to your meeting, you each had your own circumstances. You had the experience of suffering from depression, and she had the concern that there might be a genetic disease in her family that she might also suffer from. Then you met, formed a romantic relationship, and assumed that everything would be fine. However, you then faced the issue you were least willing to address. Frequent questioning and doubts, without the reassurance of companionship, only constant questioning and doubt, eroded the relationship between the two of you.

v Each individual experiences a unique tragedy. I often question whether the truth we seek retains its significance when we are unable to accept the consequences. Could it be that when we stand in our own shoes and pursue our own outcome, but are unable to shoulder the responsibility, the truth still holds meaning?

v Everyone has their own tragedy. I often question whether the truth we pursue has value when we are unable to accept the consequences. When we stand in our own perspective, seeking to achieve our desired outcome but unable to assume responsibility, does the truth still have value?

While your encounter was positive, the outcome had to be separate. You are currently experiencing doubt, and she has to believe that she has a genetic disease, that her future is limited, and that she will soon disappear because of this disease. None of this is something we can know with certainty.

It is unwise to persuade others to be good without first understanding their perspective and experiencing their challenges. Doing so may result in unintended consequences, such as individuals being perceived as less than their true selves.

You believe she is unfaithful, yet you urge her to accept an uncertain reality. You discuss the benefits of advanced technology, yet you have succumbed to doubt, offering words of comfort to a person you have harmed with a lack of conviction.

Your objective is to ascertain whether she is indeed unwell. However, this is of little consequence if her primary desire is simply to live a happy life.

The questions I have posted are similar to your actions, and I hope you can find guidance in the accompanying text.

It is important to note that no individual is at fault. The issue arose due to circumstances that were not optimal.

It is important to note that no individual is at fault. The issue arose due to circumstances beyond our control, with the wrong person coming along at the wrong time.

Hello, I'm Liu Ping, a psychological counselor. I've read the question, the pomegranate incident, the information from the girlfriend's perspective, and the analysis of each answer. I've organized my understanding in the hope that it can help you.

1️⃣ Are you paranoid, suspicious, and delusional?

If you want to know if you are pathological, go to a professional hospital for a diagnosis. If you just want to assess yourself, you can look up the words "paranoia," "suspicious," and "delusion" on Baidu.

There is some paranoia and suspicion.

Paranoia: an excessive attachment to one side.

Paranoia is a negative state of mind that makes you oversensitive and suspicious. People with a paranoid mindset often imagine unrelated events to fit together or fabricate events to confirm their preconceptions.

They think others are hostile when they aren't.

A delusion is an irrational belief that is impossible to achieve but is firmly held.

2. Pomegranate incident

You said your mother is paranoid and has a personality disorder. You also said your father is honest but weak. You were diagnosed with depression in 2014 and stopped taking medication in 2015. Have you recovered, or are you still depressed?

The woman thinks highly of you and has tried to change for the better. At first, you felt you'd done something wrong and wanted to make amends by buying more pomegranates.

But at that time, you thought they didn't look down on you because they knew you'd had depression, so you felt you were wrong. Does this mean you think depression is something you can't overcome?

What is depression like for you? Is it related to your parents?

Did depression affect your life?

You thought the seedless pomegranate meant "childless," and that the woman didn't want to take care of her father. You also thought it meant she used them to anger her father to death and that "no filial son stays by the bedside of a sick parent for a long time." The woman only chose seedless pomegranates because they're easier to eat and to make you look attentive in front of her mother.

——3️⃣ Inherited diseases

You suspected the woman had a genetic disease. She admitted it. You were suspicious. You wanted to prove it. You asked her on Zhihu to verify it. You even suspected her test samples were fake.

The woman said she might have heart or liver disease. Maybe she didn't tell you about her family history, so you don't trust her? It seems a bit overdramatic.

——4️⃣ Ex-girlfriend's explanation

The incident is meaningless, but you see things differently from your ex-girlfriend. You think you know her thoughts, but she doesn't understand yours. You're obsessed with your own right and wrong.

Why do you think the woman thinks you're "stuck-up"? She calls you when you go to buy pomegranates because she's afraid you'll call the police. This shows she thinks you take it seriously and that you'll call the police if she doesn't get seedless.

Think back to when you took someone's joke seriously. Even your girlfriend and friends think so.

I hope I can help you.

The questioner seems serious and the advice is genuine. This is rare. I've asked many questions and these may also be yours. Think about them.

Everyone grows up in a different environment, which makes us unique. We are social creatures and need human contact to understand each other. In communication, we can understand each other's inner selves and convey our thoughts. For a partner, communication is important, as are trust, care, understanding, respect, and love.

I still don't know what life is all about. But it's better to be happy than right. I wish you all happiness.

Hello!

You care about others and try to please them, especially those who love you. You want to understand yourself better and improve your weaknesses.

I'm sorry for you. I'll give you a hug!

One incident doesn't define a person's personality. You can ask your counselor to do a personality test.

You're not paranoid, suspicious, or delusional.

You think too much and take blame for problems.

When they said to let your girlfriend's father eat soft-seeded pomegranates in the ICU, you thought they were being spiteful and that they despised you.

They might not have been angry, just eating as a symbol.

You take responsibility for everything. Even if you bought the wrong pomegranates, it's not a big mistake. They shouldn't look down on you for it. You think too much.

Subjective assumptions aren't facts. We can't use them to draw other conclusions.

Overthinking is tiring.

You haven't let go of the pomegranate incident. You keep thinking about it and what it means. There's no scientific basis for the superstition that eating seedless pomegranates will make them seedless.

You think too much because you worry too much. You say your mother is paranoid. Is it because of her that you worry you'll be like her? When you worry, you try hard to avoid it. You seem to care a lot about it.

In learning about personality types, I often feel I see myself in almost every type. Personality is complex and not easily categorized. Some traits are just tendencies and not pathological.

You need to see a psychiatrist to know if you have a problem.

You don't need to label yourself. Thinking too much and worrying too much can become a problem.

If you're worried, see a doctor.

Since you've broken up, respect your choice. Look to the future, take care of yourself, and give yourself time to grow.

I hope Hongyu's reply helps. Thanks for asking!

Hello, poster! I've read your question and your girlfriend's reply. It's clear that you both care about each other a lot! Every thought, small action, or reaction of the other person causes a big ripple in your heart. I suspect that both of you are insecure in the relationship, so you are sensitive and suspicious, and cautious, which has led to a lot of misunderstandings. However, each of you feels that you are thinking about the other person and accommodating the other person, so you can't rationally and calmly look at the relationship?

Now, back to the question! I truly hope that the little whales can give you an objective evaluation of your personality or character, as well as an analysis of the approach to the pomegranate incident. Based on my understanding, I will try to share some of my thoughts, hoping to ease your emotions!

☀️ Is it really important to attach a personality label? Absolutely!

(1) In fact, we often say not to label a person because once you have a label, it is like the law of attraction! It's so easy to live up to the label, even if you are not. You will slowly become that way!

(2) Character traits and personality disorders are two very different things! If a personality disorder develops, it can affect one's life and interpersonal relationships, so it's important to get a professional diagnosis. But character traits are something else entirely. A person might be stubborn or headstrong, or they might be sensitive and vulnerable inside. This is a neutral description that doesn't mean such character traits are wrong or bad.

(3) So, perhaps your girlfriend feels that you are a bit stubborn when dealing with problems, tend to see things from your own perspective, and are a bit sensitive and suspicious of what is going on around you. Then, perhaps she is like a mirror reflecting some of the expressions and characteristics of your personality. And what do you think of your own personality?

(4) I think it is precisely because everyone's character traits are different that they create such a colorful and beautiful world. And a person's character traits may change in different situations, for example, some people often behave arrogantly with their family but show respect to strangers, so it seems impossible to evaluate what type of person they are from a single appearance.

(5) I once read the most inspiring quote on the Internet, which was mentioned in the TED talk "The Myth of Personality": "Don't ask someone what their personality is like, but rather what is most important to them in life." So, what is more important to you?

☀️ I'm excited to hear your thoughts on the pomegranate incident! Do you think it's reasonable?

(1) First of all, you made the excellent choice of buying the soft-seeded pomegranate, just as your girlfriend suggested. It's great that you respected her advice and ideas!

(2) But then, something unexpected happened! My girlfriend's mother suggested that she give her father a try. At the time, you felt that her father couldn't eat pomegranates in the ICU ward, so you were curious about what she meant. This triggered all kinds of interesting thoughts in your mind: did you do something wrong, do they have a problem with me, do they care about the past depression issue?

(3) When our inner world starts to spin out of control, it is accompanied by emotions and physical behaviors. When things have developed to the point where "no seeds" may mean "no children," we may have already forgotten what triggered the initial suspicion—but that's okay!

(4) The best way to deal with this matter is to communicate and clarify any misunderstandings. This is an amazing opportunity for you and your girlfriend to establish a good relationship of trust! It's totally normal that you can't accept your girlfriend's explanation, even though she has her own explanation. This just means that you and your girlfriend have different perspectives and thoughts.

(5) It all started with caring for each other. You went to see your girlfriend's parents with a gift out of goodwill, and she also felt that you had done nothing wrong out of goodwill. Maybe it was just a way of expressing love that didn't make the other person feel it?

It has not been easy for this relationship to get to this point, no matter what the future holds. But I am excited to learn and grow from it! I am looking forward to gaining something from this experience that will make our inner selves more secure and stronger, which may make the road ahead a little easier.

I really hope this helps to put your mind at ease! ?

Good day, my name is WeiZhiPeng from Yixinli. The school of systemic psychotherapy, in conjunction with psychoanalysis, cognitive behavioral therapy, and humanistic therapy, is regarded as one of the four principal schools of modern psychotherapy. This school primarily engages in brief counseling, typically comprising less than 10 sessions.

"We terminated our relationship officially yesterday." It is reasonable to posit that the majority of individuals find this phase of a romantic partnership to be fraught with challenges and discomfort.

From the information provided in the initial query, it appears that the underlying assumption is that the dissolution of the relationship can be attributed to the subject's personality traits.

You have provided several related events.

1. The situation in your family of origin.

2. You were diagnosed with depression in 2014 and ceased taking medication at the end of 2015. This could be interpreted as a sign of recovery.

3. The Pomegranate Incident

It is not possible to ascertain from these incidents whether the subject in question is paranoid, suspicious, or delusional. It seems probable, however, that the subject is attempting to distract himself from the real issue, namely, the cause of the relationship's breakdown.

In regard to the pomegranate incident, it is postulated that your girlfriend's and her mother's reactions at the time may have prompted the notion that purchasing a pomegranate would result in its seeds becoming hardened. With respect to the aforementioned incident, it is evident that you have harbored suspicions about your girlfriend's family. It would be beneficial to ascertain whether you have ever sought confirmation of these suspicions from your girlfriend.

Alternatively, is it acceptable for you to refrain from seeking confirmation?

It is also possible that the dissolution of the relationship has had an impact on you. Although you have now ended the relationship, you may not yet be prepared to confront the situation. It may require time to process the emotions involved, and your current questions here represent an attempt to do so.

One further point of uncertainty is whether the subject wishes to discuss the breakup itself. It has been several months since the pomegranate incident.

It is also possible that the subject is not interested in discussing the breakup, in which case I will await further indication of interest. Alternatively, the subject may have already processed the experience independently.

Additionally, your girlfriend has been diagnosed with two genetic diseases. When this information was initially disclosed, I formulated several hypotheses, but I will refrain from elaborating on them here.

In light of these considerations, it is understandable that you would wish to process this information from your own perspective. This is an entirely valid approach.

Hello, I'm Xiang Er.

I read everything you and your ex-girlfriend wrote on Zhihu. I felt distressed. You were both tired, and I felt oppressed. This relationship is a source of pressure. I can imagine how painful the past two years have been for you.

Let's discuss this first. I have looked up the definitions of "paranoid," "suspicious," and "delusional" again to respect your rigor.

Based on what you've said, you don't seem to have symptoms of paranoia. To confirm, we'd need more information or a professional assessment. You might be a little paranoid and suspicious, especially in this relationship.

You are obsessed with finding out the truth and are very sensitive. Small actions by others can make you associate them with other things. Love is not a detective game or a police interrogation. Asking questions until the truth is revealed will make people feel like they are being tortured.

There are several problems that have led you to this point.

1️⃣ Irrational belief

I'm sorry to offend you. You make a lot of subjective judgments and have some cognitive biases and unreasonable beliefs. For example,

You think you can't eat in the ICU, but some patients can.

You think that if you have depression, people will look down on you. So you think your girlfriend's mother is talking in code and implying that you have done something wrong.

You know pomegranates have a special meaning, so you think your girlfriend and her mother have other motives. But pomegranates are good for you. Why don't you think they chose it for its benefits?

You think your girlfriend is hiding a disease by not telling you about her medical history. But such records are not usually shared, so why not let her keep some privacy?

2. You don't talk to each other.

You bought a pomegranate with soft seeds at your girlfriend's request. There's chat history to prove it. You feel you made a mistake, so you try to fix it. Why don't you talk to your girlfriend first? You'll know what she thinks. You haven't talked about her family medical history, whether she has an older brother, local customs, etc. Communication and understanding can reduce speculation and misunderstandings.

3️⃣ Lack of understanding

You don't understand each other.

Your girlfriend doesn't understand that you bought pomegranates with seeds in them to impress your mother. She doesn't understand that you worry about him going on business trips because you value her. She doesn't understand that you pay attention to customs and habits to avoid misfortune. She doesn't understand how sad you feel when you feel cheated. She doesn't understand her pain at losing her father. She doesn't understand her grievance at being accused by you of trying to make him die of anger.

You don't trust your girlfriend.

You don't trust your girlfriend. You think she has other motives, like her relationship with her leader and colleagues, her family medical history, and even her concern for you (she calls you all the time).

She thinks you're making her father angry, which makes her feel you don't trust her. Not trusting others may be because you feel insecure. But being untrustworthy is also painful. This may be caused by a lack of communication.

5️⃣ You imagine a lot.

You have a vivid imagination. You're too sensitive to emotions.

A pomegranate is associated with a father who dies of "childlessness" because he avoids his responsibilities. A household registration issue is associated with a deceased older brother. The question of whether your parents married too early or too late is associated with whether she is your biological mother. The first one may be related to her character. Why do you care so much about the latter two issues? Will this affect your love for her?

Is this exhausting?

6️⃣ You need to improve your social skills.

Your girlfriend's uncle and your mother are her elders. Treat them with respect.

7️⃣ Family influence

I wonder if your parents' relationship has affected your views on love. Could it be that you don't want to be like your father because he's honest and weak? And you don't want to be like your mother because she's paranoid?

There's no right or wrong in relationships. It's enough for two people to be happy together. I hope my analysis helps. I also hope the original poster can let go and move on.

Hello! I'm the Little Golden Angel, and I'm here to help you.

Xiaojin looked at all the information as a whole. There were various opinions and views, not only for the original poster but also for the original poster's former supporters and opponents. Xiaojin was also confused after reading it, but he was determined to tell the original poster: "Other people's comments, especially those of the uninformed masses, really don't matter. Just take some of it to heart, and if there is something to be improved, then do it. There is no need to care too much about it. "After all, no matter if the original poster becomes better or hurt because of these words, it is unlikely that anyone will step forward to take responsibility for this result.

Xiaojin always thinks over and revises his wording when answering questions for the charity project at Yixin. He doesn't want his words to cause the other person to suffer secondary harm. He tries not to evaluate the questioner with subjective colors. The questioner should just read the answers in this question and not worry about them.

Xiaojin is confused about which perspective the questioner wants to use to understand whether he or she is "paranoid, suspicious, or delusional." A standard for judgment must be established.

For example, I'll say it again: do you agree? If you argue with reasons and present facts and reasoning,

The facts you present must be true and comprehensive. You must be able to guarantee that your memory is completely accurate and that there are no meaningless omissions in the details.

Based on the information and details provided by the original poster and the replies from the previous poster, it is clear that they are both sticking to their own opinions. Even if they continue to add to their arguments, they are still at the stage of each saying their own thing. There is no point in arguing about whether the original poster is "paranoid, suspicious, or delusional" in these uncertain circumstances. It is difficult to have an accurate result.

1. [Paranoia]

From a philosophical point of view, the difference between persistence and paranoia is clear.

The standard for judgment is straightforward and direct. The questioner can simply put themselves in the other person's shoes.

Persistence is who I am. Paranoia is not.

Persistence is a positive word. It means continuing to do something with others in line with universal values and achieving a positive outcome for everyone.

Paranoia is typically seen as a negative quality because it stems from acting on one's own ideas without considering the prevailing values of the moment. This often leads to self-benefit or even detriment to others, which is what defines paranoia.

You can determine whether the questioner is paranoid or not.

You bought soft-seeded pomegranates despite your ex-girlfriend's family's objections. You insisted on traveling far and wide to buy hard-seeded pomegranates. Did it turn out well? Were you happy?

Tell me, are you happy?

2. [Suspicious]

The definition of "suspicious" in 360 Baike is to be doubtful and suspicious. It is neutral in itself. The impact it has depends on the degree of "suspicion" and the resulting behavior.

If the behavior brought about by the questioner's suspiciousness has a positive impact, for example, because the questioner's suspiciousness has made the outcome of things better and brought happiness to the questioner and those around them, then this suspiciousness will evolve into being cautious and prudent. If the questioner's suspiciousness has a negative impact, making things worse and making everyone's mood worse, then this is a kind of negative negative emotion that needs to be controlled and changed.

Paranoia is a mental illness characterized by excessive suspicion and mistrust.

Paranoia is a common disease that is often related to personality, environment, and family history. It causes abnormal personality, strange behavior, emotional instability, sleep disorders, and memory loss. It can cause anxiety, depression, neurasthenia, hypertension, etc. The good news is that it is mainly treated with psychological and pharmacological treatments. The even better news is that after timely and effective treatment, the prognosis is generally good.

If you want to know if your suspicions are paranoia, you need to do a preliminary self-screening based on the causes, typical symptoms, and matching of paranoia. If you think you are more likely to have paranoia, go to the psychiatry department of a top-three hospital for a consultation. At least three different experts must come to the same result before it can be confirmed that you have paranoia. After the diagnosis, follow the doctor's advice and start treatment.

3. Delusion

[Delusion] is a Buddhist term in 360 Baike. It refers to distinguishing the appearance of all things with a deluded and perverted mind. The attachment of the mind prevents one from knowing and seeing things as they really are. This results in erroneous distinctions.

It is also known as delusion, respectively.

[Delusion] is a psychological disorder characterized by irrational thinking that is detached from reality.

The characteristics of delusion are as follows:

1. Unfounded assumptions lead to faulty logic and conclusions that don't align with reality.

2. They are unable to be corrected through reasoning based on facts, knowledge, education, or personal experience because they firmly believe in such unrealistic conclusions.

3. It is self-involving and uses oneself as a reference.

Based on the above description of the incident, does the combination of these three delusions seem familiar? Does it seem that the questioner is prone to being labeled as delusional? Do both the pomegranate incident and the genetic disease incident have plausible traces of delusion?

I will not go into detail about the many different types of delusions. I will only describe those that are relevant to this topic.

The individual believes that things in reality that have nothing to do with him are related to him. This is a relationship delusion.

Regarding the incident of buying pomegranates, the questioner needs to verify whether he exaggerated the incident and whether he believes that the other party looks down on him. In fact, has the questioner verified whether the ex-girlfriend's mother looked down on him because of the soft-seeded pomegranates?

The questioner has a delusion of special significance. He believes that the words and deeds of those around him are related to him and contain special significance.

In this case of the pomegranate seeds, the ex-girlfriend's mother said, "Give these to your father to eat," and the questioner thought he was wrong and associated a lot with it. This is correct.

The questioner is experiencing a jealous delusion, namely the belief that his spouse is unfaithful and having an affair.

The ex-girlfriend stated that she was recalled by the questioner twice on the way to the airport, and the questioner is convinced that the ex-girlfriend is having an affair with the opposite sex. (The specific truth remains to be verified, and no excessive analysis should be done.)

The questioner has identified with all three types of delusions. To determine whether the questioner has a thinking disorder such as delusions, contact a regular psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

4. Advice for the questioner

1. Love is a happy thing. A painful relationship must either be improved or ended.

It is clear that the pain between the questioner and his ex-girlfriend has caused far more harm than the sense of satisfaction brought by happiness. Both parties must therefore think carefully about whether this relationship needs to continue. If the cause of the pain cannot be found and cannot be improved, then separation is the only option.

2. Love is the fusion of two worlds. If the transaction does not become bigger and bigger, it will lead to various information biases and gaps—it's as simple as that.

The questioner and his ex-girlfriend are both wrong. They always look at each other's problems from their own perspective, and naturally they are on opposite sides. It is inevitable that they will argue. The lack of information between them has also led to a deep rift between them.

3. Share a song with the original poster: Yu Wenwen's "Decent." Give each other decency if you have loved.

A partner who has spent some happy times together and may have loved each other ends up breaking up in a big way. In the end, who cares who's right or wrong? If you love someone, cherish it. If it's hard to love someone after you've been through it all, let go.

Leave each other with dignity, and leave this love with dignity!

4. There is a kind of coldness called "your mother thinks you are cold."

It's a common joke that when a child goes out, their mother always makes them wear thick clothes because "your mother thinks you are cold." Many children don't appreciate it and complain about it. But if you put yourself in the other person's shoes, you'll see that the child and the mother each have their own position.

In love, don't be the one who thinks and interprets unilaterally. Speak up, communicate more, and listen to what others have to say. Don't be so self-righteous.

I wish the original poster good health and all the best.

Hello! I'm Mr. Bao, your friendly neighborhood psychological counselor. After reading your message and the pomegranate incident, I'm really excited to help you with your situation. ?

You are a sensitive, delicate, and responsible guy, aren't you?

I'm sure you and your ex-girlfriend had a strong emotional connection. Otherwise, you wouldn't have invested so much energy, time, and money into resolving the issue.

I'm so excited to find out how you two first met! And even though it wasn't mentioned in the article, those two lovebirds haven't gone far yet!

I was so happy to see that you mentioned the general situation of the two families! Your parents are amazing, and you are such a caring person who values family stability and harmony.

You handled disagreements with your girlfriend so well! It's not just that you care about her, but also that you're an upright and kind person.

Some of the details you have described do indeed show that you have a sensitive nature, which is a wonderful thing! If this sensitivity is based on a solid sense of security, you will feel more positivity and happiness; if, on the other hand, it is based on an empty sense of security, you will feel more negativity and hurt.

So, let me tell you the most important thing I want to share with you today. It's about security. When we were children, our sense of security mainly came from our mothers. Our mothers' emotional stability alone could satisfy all our needs for security. And the greatest sense of security is to believe in ourselves and not to blindly trust others.

You say that my mother is more paranoid, and the root cause of paranoia is still closely related to a lack of love and a sense of worth/security. Even if you are an adult, even if you are in your seventies, a lifetime of lacking psychological nourishment will manifest itself in various symptoms. But the good news is that you can overcome this!

Your reaction to your girlfriend's potential genetic disease is also related to your lack of security. When you feel insecure on the inside, it's natural to doubt the people and things around you. But don't worry! You can work on your security and confidence to feel more secure on the inside, so you can trust yourself and others more.

If you feel secure, you will care about the other person first, actively accompanying and healing them. And if you can do this, you will have absolutely no regrets, even if you break up in the end!

The pomegranate incident is more related to a lack of a sense of worth, a paranoid desire to prove oneself, and even the destruction of relationships and connections. But there's good news! You can overcome these challenges and build a strong, healthy relationship.

The good news is that being suspicious and paranoid is not a problem. The even better news is that you can fundamentally solve the lack of inner security and sense of worth, establish a stable self, and develop a lasting intimate relationship.

So, how can we fix childhood deficiencies in adulthood? The answer is simple: learn to be your own "good parent." Give yourself the emotional nutrition you need, "gently but insistently." Learn to manage your emotions. Deal with unresolved feelings from your original family. And heal those traumatic events that have shaped you.

It is highly recommended that you start your journey of systematic self-growth and empowerment. This is an amazing opportunity for you to gradually grow into a more authentic and complete self!

Question owner: I've read your and your girlfriend's answers. You two have a deep emotional foundation, but there are doubts about communication and trust. You don't need to feel guilty or think you have a paranoid disorder. You and your girlfriend have different views on some issues. You can't change everything because you come from different families and have different educational and upbringing backgrounds.

You and your girlfriend have different families. You may express love through actions, which can make you feel good. You will think, "I thought of it and I acted on it, so my thoughts are right." This will make you face problems head-on.

This will make you more confident, but it will also put pressure on other people. Not everyone is brave enough to do this. This is a strength, but it also has limits.

Your girlfriend should think about why she's attracted to him. It's probably because he faces problems head-on and has the strength to express his feelings.

Your girlfriend will avoid problems, lie to you, and avoid your questions because you are so different.

Is your girlfriend really so unbearable? Maybe she just deals with problems differently.

Maybe she's afraid to be open with you. Think about what she's afraid of.

Are you afraid of being lectured and forced to face things she's afraid or doesn't want to face?

The original poster wants to keep questioning herself in this relationship, wondering if there is anything she has done wrong. I just want to tell her that all problems and differences are just differences, there is no right or wrong. It is not that the other person is not telling you her thoughts; she is just inexcusable. I also want to say to your girlfriend that he kept questioning her, but he is not a personality disorder either. You both see the differences, but you just can't accept them. Instead, you both choose to see the other person as wrong and problematic, and you want to force the other person to change.

This is a chance for growth.

Right now, your description doesn't seem to indicate paranoia. Looking at the bigger picture, you can see that your mother's personality is somewhat paranoid, your father's is honest but weak, and you've been diagnosed with depression. Generally speaking, people who've had depression in the past tend to be more objective when it comes to dealing with problems.

If you can, it'd be a good idea to go for a follow-up psychiatric appointment to see if your depression has healed. Usually, you can't stop taking medication on your own. It seems like you're just worried or want to take responsibility for your actions, but there's no conclusive evidence of delusions.

Is there paranoia or delusion in your character or personality?

You ended things with your girlfriend yesterday and moved out. You were tired after a long day, so you went to bed early.

We should take another look at whether this question is delusional.

I think you might be experiencing paranoia.

Pomegranate

You were just trying to help your girlfriend, since she has two genetic diseases in her family. You also felt a little uneasy about the situation.

You know exactly why you bought the pomegranates with seeds.

What did your girlfriend suggest?

Do you find yourself questioning her motives?

I'm not sure if some of your previous conversations with your girlfriend involved negative thoughts or if you don't trust each other. Currently, it seems like you think she's insulting you or implying something through the soft-seeded pomegranate. Her father is in the hospital, and the situation is also very critical.

It seems like it might cause some discomfort for the family. You checked the chat history to confirm that you wanted to buy the soft-seeded pomegranate. This has been confirmed, and it's also clear that you're very concerned about her family.

It seems like he was just venting at the time.

It seems like the reason for the anger hasn't been made clear, as it's not easy to ask. But it's important to find out whether you did something wrong or if they just don't like you, because they don't show it directly.

You decided to make amends and said you'd buy a hard-seeded pomegranate. She told you that eating a soft-seeded one without spitting out the seeds means having no children. That's not a great omen, while a hard-seeded one has a slightly better one. But why did she suggest a soft-seeded one in the first place? But all this is in the past, and maybe she didn't mean it.

You didn't do anything wrong. You were just trying to follow some of their advice. Maybe she didn't mean it either. After all, it still sounds a bit superstitious. And physiologically speaking, aren't soft-seeded pomegranates tastier and easier to chew? It's best to let go of the past. Maybe the other person was just talking about soft-seeded pomegranates. I recommend that you take the necessary inner animal archetype psychological test to understand your deep character and interpret it one-on-one. Good luck.

ZQ?

Hello, questioner!

I have carefully read your message, including the pomegranate incident, and also a large part of your girlfriend's message. It feels like your relationship is not going well, and it seems like you are competing with each other, getting very entangled. This is a great opportunity for you both to work on your relationship!

I have mixed feelings about the questionnaire. On the one hand, it makes me feel a little sad to see that you have spent a lot of money offering a reward just to determine whether you have certain characteristics of personality. It seems that you need some outside voices to help you determine this for yourself. On the other hand, I can also see that you do have some characteristics that make you a bit serious, such as the pomegranate incident.

You want to get closer to the objective truth, and that's a great idea! It's a challenging but rewarding journey. Each of us has unique glasses that shape our view of the world. These glasses are formed gradually after birth and become a part of us. They influence our perception in amazing ways, and it's fascinating to explore how they work.

I'm excited to tell you that this year, I had a life-changing realization. My parents had inadvertently put on a pair of glasses for me, and for the past 30 years or so, I have been living in a world they wanted me to see. It was a worldview that needed to be corrected. At that moment, I was filled with hope for the future, for a new beginning, for a world where I could see things as they truly are.

I would highly, highly recommend that you go to a regular psychiatric hospital or counseling agency, where you can take personality tests with good reliability and validity. These tests are relatively authoritative and accurate, and they can really help you!

I'm thrilled to hear that you're in a happy place!