Approaching the awkward 29th year before turning 30, what should I do if I discover my husband cheating?

I hug you!

It's hard when you're in this situation. You don't want to stay, but you can't leave.

This situation is because

One is to trust too much.

If you don't grow, you'll never be strong enough to stand on your own.

It's useless for the host to cry and make a scene.

The host is at a loss for what to do, but the more panicked we are, the more we must remain calm.

What should I do? I can't leave, so I have to endure the humiliation!

Why should we put up with this?

For the kids and your future, so you can leave with pride.

As long as you don't leave, you're still married. Your husband is obliged to take care of the family.

The little wife shows off her affection for her lover to provoke you. Don't fall for it. If you get angry, you will lose.

Let the host endure for a while. Don't forgive, just keep your feelings inside.

They focus on taking care of the children and improving themselves. The father will always care about them.

It's better than getting divorced without preparation.

The most important thing is to change yourself from the inside out.

This kind of change doesn't happen overnight. It starts slowly from within.

Many housewives work hard for their families.

They must know that they can't just be angry.

They also need to know that they can't just be angry. They need to wake up.

If you don't have a good background and haven't met a good husband, you need to wake up.

Don't complain and improve yourself.

When you're ready, leave!

I hope the poster gets out of the confusion soon!

I love you, June!

Hello, question asker.

Give the OP a pat on the shoulder and a little strength. The OP is facing a very tricky situation, and it's natural to feel emotional when her husband has been unfaithful. She needs to carefully consider the future of the marriage.

The OP needs to listen to their true thoughts and then communicate with their partner to decide whether the marriage is worth saving. No one can give the OP the right answer.

I'd also like to offer the questioner some advice, given that the question was asked on this platform.

Don't blame yourself.

Let me be clear: the reason why a husband cheats is not the fault of the wife. The wife does not need to blame herself for this. The wife's emotional outbursts are a normal reaction to being unable to control herself in the face of her husband's infidelity.

Don't blame yourself for not managing the relationship well because you were busy working or taking care of the children. There may have been some factors, but they were not the decisive factor in the other person's infidelity. You should not blame yourself for the other person's mistakes.

The other person's infidelity may be a result of your failure to properly manage the marriage, which has caused problems in the marriage. You must admit this. A failed marriage is not the fault of one party.

However, you cannot justify the other party's infidelity.

If you blame yourself too much, you'll lose sight of what your partner is doing. And that would be a mistake, because you need to pay attention to their behavior.

Don't waste your time dwelling on the third party.

There's no point in involving a third party. It's a waste of time and energy. You can't convince a third party of how untrustworthy your husband is. It will only cause more pain and trouble for you.

Let me be clear: infidelity has nothing to do with a third party. The cheating partner is often dissatisfied with their current life or marital situation and is trying to change their life, rarely because they have found true love.

If you spend all your energy on a third party, you will have no energy left for your relationship with your partner.

The other woman is showing off her affection on social media, as the questioner said. The third party will not feel guilty towards the questioner. Paying too much attention to the other person's actions and details of what they are doing will only exhaust the questioner mentally and physically, and will not do any good.

Do not brag about your marriage before it ends.

Now that you are experiencing marital problems, you may be extremely sad and angry. You may feel the urge to tell everyone in your family and friends about your emotions and experiences, and even post about it on your social media. However, you must remember that no one should make decisions about the future of your marriage. If you want to repair the relationship, you must avoid making others look at your partner differently in the future and point fingers at your marriage.

Tell someone who can help you solve your problems and get some advice, but don't tell everyone about your problems.

Telling friends and family about your situation may give you a temporary sense of relief, but you will soon feel remorse, and the pain will return.

The problem is that everyone has an opinion, and you don't know who to listen to. If you follow a friend's advice and divorce your husband, it will be awkward to stay friends with them in the future.

Follow your own thoughts.

As for what to do about the current marriage after the husband's infidelity, family and friends can at most give the OP some advice, but ultimately, the decision is hers. Whether it's divorce or staying together, the joys and sorrows of life on the road are hers alone to experience.

The questioner must make their own decision, regardless of what others think.

You must make your own decision, regardless of what others think. They can only offer you different perspectives on how to view the situation. Ultimately, you are the one who has to make the decision, so it is only right to follow your heart.

You need to calm down before making a decision.

When faced with a spouse's infidelity, it is true that most people will be very emotional at first. However, the survival of the marriage still needs to be dealt with. I strongly suggest that the questioner should think calmly before making a decision.

You can go away for a few days, but don't immediately propose divorce or make other major decisions. After calming down, make a decision that is good for both you and your marriage. Don't make decisions out of anger that you will regret in the future.

The questioner should take some time to themselves, but do not mention divorce immediately. You may be considering this option, but wait until you have calmed down before you say it.

Use the weapons of the law to protect your rights and interests.

If you want to protect your rights and interests as a wife, you should definitely consult a lawyer. According to the Civil Code, you can recover any property or real estate gifted to your husband's mistress by your husband.

The spouse can also claim damages from the cheating party. The questioner's husband's infidelity has caused the questioner to suffer physically and mentally, and the questioner can fully claim compensation from her husband. Furthermore, the innocent party in a divorce caused by infidelity has the right to claim a larger share of the joint property. Even after the questioner's divorce, she can ask her husband to pay half of the money spent on raising the children. The questioner's debts incurred because of financial problems should also be borne half by the cheating party, as long as it is proved that the money was spent on the children.

I am not suggesting that the questioner and his spouse should go to court. However, it is every citizen's right to use the law to protect their legitimate rights and interests.

Time will heal the wounds.

The relationship has caused the questioner harm, and it will take time for the questioner to heal. The healing of emotional trauma may not be as fast as the questioner thinks, and it will take a long time before you can truly regain your confidence and love for life. Regardless of the survival of the marriage, even if the questioner and his wife reach a consensus and work together, it will take a long time to return to a "normal" life and restore the original trust and affection between you.

You are the only person who can decide the direction of this marriage. Regardless of whether it continues, the result is not happy. Even when it comes to relationships, you need a long period of time to process and come to terms with your emotions.

The questioner must be prepared to move on mentally and accept that life goes on.

The questioner must follow their true thoughts, regardless of whether they want to divorce or continue this marriage. Only time will reveal the answer.

The questioner must take care of their body when dealing with their relationships. This bad experience has likely exhausted the questioner both physically and mentally, but taking good care of yourself is still important. If the questioner experiences psychological problems after this relationship setback, they must seek help from a professional psychological practitioner. This is another important point in taking care of yourself.

Life is not easy. You must cherish every moment.

I am confident that this answer will be helpful to the original poster.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm a modest, self-effacing, consistent, and steadfast person.

I think you should be a little kinder to yourself.

Don't worry about your age.

Life is long, and thirty is just the beginning. There's no need to be anxious. We have our own life experience, and we're not easily fooled by other people's sweet talk.

Right now, we have a better understanding of what we want out of life and we're more confident in our ability to make it happen.

It seems like a good plan. We can get past our initial confusion, become more independent and confident, learn, invest in ourselves, learn to run a business and live the life we want to live. So we can't bemoan our current state. What we can change is what we want from our current selves.

If we still want to live with a husband in our hearts, we need to make some changes. If we don't want to live together anymore, we need to decide. Internal conflict is a waste of time and doesn't lead to anything.

How can you improve yourself?

Take a moment to pause the internal conflict and focus on improving yourself. During the two years we were out of society, society didn't wait for us and moved at their own pace. This can make it challenging to find a good job, which can be difficult to accept mentally. I want to encourage you that if you persevere at anything, you can do it well. When you do, it will make a positive impact.

Your husband has been unfaithful, you're in a cold war, the mistress is showing affection, and your husband is pushing for a divorce. Your bottom line is constantly being challenged, and at this time you're torn between leaving or not. If you do leave, you'll just be doing what they want. That's why we need to have a plan for ourselves, work hard to improve ourselves, and the situation will naturally adjust over time.

This is why we say, "I am the root of everything." When we look at the root, we can see that the essence of problem solving lies in ourselves. How to better solve problems is related to our own state of mind, and it is also this state of mind that can give us better choices.

Right now, you might feel like you don't have any options and that your life is a mess, but

Take a deep breath and think things through. There are always options.

Wishing you the best!

Dear host, I send you a hug and empathize with the challenges you've faced. It's understandable that your husband's actions in the marriage have left you feeling overwhelmed.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how we have allowed ourselves to reach this situation step by step within this marriage. This could provide valuable insight and guidance in untying the current knot.

First of all, you and your husband got married after a year of being in a relationship after graduating from university. After getting married, you did not work until your child was two years old. You did not start working again until you discovered that your husband was cheating on you. But now you are facing some challenges in your professional life, your personal circumstances are a bit chaotic, and you are struggling financially. You are affected by negative emotions on a daily basis, and you feel like you are on the brink of collapse at times. You experience periods of intense sadness and despair, and you often feel like you want to end your life.

At a certain level, the respondent has identified a few points that you may find helpful to consider.

Could you please share some of the challenges you and your husband faced before getting married? I'm curious to know how you managed financial or family pressures together.

It is worth noting that the depth of a relationship and the degree of love are important factors in the consolidation of a relationship. Even if the two parties have transformed their passion into affection, they may still choose to remain faithful to each other due to their mutual commitment and kindness.

For instance, Hong Kong actor Nick Cheung has stated that he has contemplated infidelity, but was deterred by the prospect of losing his family and wife. He holds his wife and children in high regard.

It may be the case that if a man gives up the responsibilities and kindness in marriage so easily, it is because the depth of their feelings for each other has never been able to be established.

2. Women often play different roles in society or in the family, but it is important to recognize that their role is ultimately that of an independent personality.

In our Chinese culture, it is not uncommon for a woman's identity to be shaped by external influences.

For instance, one might consider the roles of wife, mother, or daughter. However, it is these very conventions that can sometimes prevent us from thinking about who we are, what kind of person we want to be, and what kind of social role we have.

For example, how might one's talents be brought to light? What ladder could we use to reach a certain social height? Where might we find people who appreciate our abilities and talents? There are always things we can do to cultivate ourselves. In such a general environment, women who give up on their own demands too early may find themselves in a passive situation later in life, not only financially, but also in terms of their personality and emotions.

It is important to recognize that everyone has unique strengths and preferences, and that pursuing one's abilities and interests can lead to a sense of financial stability and autonomy in life. When we rely on others for control, it can often lead to a loss of initiative and potential for growth.

3. Could I ask you to consider whether marriage is a part of our lives, or whether it is the whole of our lives?

A psychology teacher once suggested that the various aspects of life that people seek to achieve in society could be grouped together as follows:

It would be beneficial to consider the following aspects of life: good health, interests, relationships, wealth, career, social status, family relationships, and personal growth.

The reason for listing these things is not to remind us that we need to have them all, but to encourage us to consider other possibilities in life.

If I might make a suggestion, I believe that there are a few key elements that are essential to success. These include having a clear goal, a clear position for yourself, and a willingness to put in the corresponding effort to achieve it.

And perhaps the most challenging thing to do is to accept something for free, because it can often feel like you're not getting as much as you thought you would.

If we are open to reading more celebrity biographies, we may find that many outstanding women are discovered because of their talents and then loved by outstanding men. At the same time, they often find success in both their careers and relationships. From this causal chain, happiness in marriage may often come from being good enough, independent, and seeing marriage as a part of our lives, not the whole of it.

This kind of life writing is often just a matter of a thought, rather than something that is experienced in the midst of gains and losses.

I hope that the respondent's sharing will be a source of inspiration for you.

I hope this finds you well. Please accept my best wishes.

I extend my support and encouragement to you.

Dealing with infidelity is a challenging process.

I would be pleased to assist you in navigating this challenging situation. I hope that sharing my experience and insights will provide some measure of comfort and inspiration.

1. Take a moment to collect your thoughts and consider your desired outcome.

In the event of her husband's infidelity, a wife will experience a range of emotions and may be reluctant to accept the situation.

As you mentioned, I am conflicted about whether to pursue a divorce or not. I am leaning towards divorce, but I am reluctant to make it easy for him.

This is a common line of thinking.

It is difficult to justify why he should be allowed to avoid the consequences of his actions so lightly.

Or even make the mistress happy?

This line of thinking will make it more challenging to move forward.

At this juncture, it would be prudent to consider the following: First, regardless of external influences, it is essential to ascertain your personal vision for the future.

Please define your desired lifestyle.

If there is still a positive relationship between you and your husband, and he is willing to return to the family, do you have the courage to choose to forgive and tolerate, and are willing to trust him again, instead of constantly arguing?

It is important to consider that even if your husband were to return, this matter would remain between you two. If you continue to argue, it may result in a further deterioration of your relationship.

At this juncture, which approach would be most beneficial?

It would be prudent to prioritize your own needs and address your emotional well-being. If maintaining distance from your spouse is a preferable option, it is a viable course of action.

It is also important to consider that our obsession has a negative impact on our husband's emotional state, which in turn affects our own mood.

If it is not feasible to separate for the time being, but there is no hope for the relationship, then it may be possible to gather the strength to leave the marriage.

It is important to note that making changes to your mindset, moving on from past hurts, or ending the relationship are not actions that are done for the benefit of the other person. Rather, they are decisions that are made for the benefit of your own happiness and well-being, and for the opportunity to start a new chapter in your life.

2. Attempt to alter your thought processes.

As Byron Katie observed, the issue is not the problem itself, but rather our thoughts about it.

The aforementioned four sentences are as follows: 1. Is it true? 2. Are you 100% sure that's true? 3. How do you react when you hold that thought?

Despite our best efforts, we have been unable to let go of painful thoughts.

I would like to recommend the book The Turning of a Single Thought to you.

The book contains four key sentences:

Please confirm whether this is indeed the case.

Please confirm that you are 100% sure that this is true.

Please describe your reaction when you encounter this thought.

What would your personal attributes be if you were to eliminate that thought?

The reframing exercise will facilitate a shift in perspective, enabling us to recognize that what we perceive as an unanticipated outcome may, in fact, be a necessary one.

It should be acknowledged that the event in question did indeed occur, and that there is no known method of altering the outcome.

This does not imply that we must endorse the actions in question or concur with them. It simply allows us to examine the situation without resisting it or becoming overwhelmed by our emotions.

It is important to note that while infidelity is not a desired outcome, once it occurs, it is essential to learn to accept the situation and adjust one's actions accordingly.

I am aware that this may be challenging.

3. It is essential to adopt a mature and constructive approach to this situation.

An individual's quality of life is not contingent on their marital status; rather, it is determined by their personal sense of well-being.

It is essential to address the current major difficulties.

You are entitled to make whatever decision you see fit.

The decision is to focus on your own well-being, not to punish your husband.

For instance, if he is able to assist with childcare or contribute financially to the family, you can maintain this arrangement until you are ready to leave, rather than engaging in a power struggle.

The process of healing the wounds of infidelity is not straightforward and requires a certain degree of wisdom and time.

Please take as much time as you require.

When we cease to rely on external factors for our happiness and instead take responsibility for our own well-being, we may find that our circumstances gradually begin to change.

Dear colleague, Please be aware that this is not an easy path. Best regards,

I am confident that you can succeed.

Please accept my best wishes for a speedy recovery.

I would like to extend my personal regards to you, as well as express my admiration for your efforts.

Hello, I see that you are going through a lot. It seems that you are struggling with depression, anger, sadness, and feelings of helplessness. I understand that you might even be considering ending your life. I want you to know that I'm here for you and I'm listening.

Your husband is unfaithful, the relationship is strained, there are constant arguments and fights, you are unable to work and cannot adapt to society, you are suffering both internally and externally, the child is still young and needs your care... You are under pressure to divorce, but you cannot live a good life in the marriage either. You are at a loss and feel miserable every day.

It seems that you are suffering every day at home. It appears that your husband's body and mind are not fully present in this family. He has not yet fulfilled his promise to return to the family. You are hoping that he will change, but it seems that he has no intention of turning back. It seems that he has betrayed the marriage, but instead he is expecting you to behave yourself and to try to get the best of both worlds.

It might be helpful to consider what you still have to look forward to in this marriage and what you want for yourself in a marriage. It seems that you are in a challenging situation at the moment, and it's important to address your depression as soon as possible. Prolonging your current state in this marriage may not be beneficial. It's also important to consider the impact of your mental health on your children. Their environment should be one of love and stability, not one of conflict and distress.

Perhaps it would be helpful to focus on self-care and self-love. Either you can choose to leave the marriage, or you can choose to stay and work on your own mental wellbeing. It's not possible to change your partner, but you can change yourself. It might be beneficial to love yourself more.

Hello, dear stranger!

From what you've told me, it seems like you've been caught in a loop of indecision, torn between forgiveness and unforgiveness, without a moment to focus on your own happiness.

As a mother, you can't just ignore your children and divorce your husband happily. As a wife, you also have too many regrets, and you don't want to admit that the family you have built together has been ruined by a third party, and even by yourself. I know it's tough, but try to remember that you're not alone.

But when you are actually confronted with an unfaithful husband, it's only natural that the image of him and another woman being in love automatically comes to mind. It's so hard to forgive him, isn't it?

This jumble of thoughts can really tie you up, like a rope. It's so easy to forget how to make yourself happy and just live your life again.

It's true that everyone has problems in their marriage. It's only natural to think that someone else is involved or that it's the mistress's fault. But it's so important to take a step back and think about how our marriage has come to this.

Marital life is a kind of practice, and it is a challenging one.

Home is a place for love, not a place for reasoning. It's so important to communicate in a way that shows you care about each other, rather than arguing about who is better.

It's so important to praise your husband, don't you think? If you don't, you'll end up focusing on his shortcomings and mistakes.

Your husband remembers that person outside of the home because you give them lots of attention and praise. This makes your husband feel relaxed, happy, and joyful. It's not like when you walk through the door, there's nothing but arguments, complaints, and accusations.

There's no right or wrong in the world of relationships. We all have our own feelings about things, and that's okay!

Picture this: you and your husband switch roles. When you get home from work, your wife is aloof and doesn't pay any attention to you. She goes on and on about things at the dinner table that you don't want to hear, and even while you're sleeping, she's still discussing with you what's wrong with her. Would you still want to go home? Wouldn't you rather hide in the bathroom!

Or find someone who gets you and is willing to listen!

I know it can be really tough when you're feeling all of those feelings right now. It's natural to feel frustrated and angry when you're facing infidelity. It's also easy to believe that it's his fault and that he's unfaithful to his wife and irresponsible to the family. But then, what do you do?

You still have to face it all, and you want to change the situation, but you're not sure you're ready to change your original perception.

If you feel in your heart that you can't go back, then it's time to say your goodbyes, leave, divide up the children's property, and move on. The end of a marriage is just an interlude in the whole of life. It's just that you've played the tune halfway and can't continue.

If you feel like there's still hope, sit down together and talk about what you need to work on. Then, talk about how you want to move forward in the future.

This is like a marriage that has been wounded. The good news is that it can heal without leaving scars! It all depends on its own blood clotting factors and collagen, not on iodophor and drugs.

Hello, I can see you're going through a tough time in your marriage. Infidelity is always a big issue, no matter which family it affects.

First of all, if you're willing to seek help from a psychological platform, it shows you still care about the relationship. If you don't care, you should seek help from a divorce lawyer, not a psychological platform.

So, the first thing we need to talk about is whether you're willing to make changes to keep this marriage going. I know you have your reasons, but let's be honest, your current situation isn't going to work without some changes.

Even if you manage to keep the marriage going, the disadvantages will outweigh the advantages. It's also tough for kids to grow up in a good environment when their parents are in a bad relationship.

So, the child isn't the reason for divorce.

Second, you and your husband went to high school together and got married after graduating from university. Given that, you should still understand each other quite well, and there shouldn't be any problems with the emotional foundation.

So, you need to think about what caused this situation. From what you've said, it seems like you've been married for about three to five years.

When did your husband start to change? What happened?

Once again, a third party in a marriage is usually the result of a relationship that's on the decline. And there's often a long period of hesitation before one party takes the step.

Think about what the mistress has that the wife doesn't. If someone is looking for a mistress, it's probably best not to comment.

If he's a salaryman, what made him decide to leave his family? And after being found cheating, he didn't file for divorce, which seems inconsistent with a premeditated divorce.

To put it another way, the mistress isn't the person he wants to marry, but rather someone who can meet a certain need of his.

Ultimately, marriage is a partnership between two people. When there are challenges in a marriage, it's rarely the result of one person's actions. As long as you're able to identify and meet each other's genuine needs, the relationship will likely continue to thrive.

I hope this helps. All the best!

Greetings!

As a heart exploration coach, I believe that learning is the most valuable asset of the human body.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a range of intense emotions, including inner turmoil, depression, anger, irritability, pain, and a sense of being overwhelmed.

The specifics of the difficulties caused by one's spouse's infidelity are beyond the scope of this discussion. However, three pieces of advice are offered for your consideration.

Firstly, it is recommended that you attempt to accept your current circumstances.

Such an approach will facilitate a slight alleviation of distress, thereby enabling a more objective assessment of subsequent courses of action.

You stated that you discovered your husband's infidelity last year and that it has persisted until the present. You desire a divorce but are unable to obtain one and are experiencing difficulties in thinking and living. You are experiencing significant internal conflict and distress. Indeed, if another individual were in your circumstances, they would likely exhibit a similar state of affairs. As the desire for a stable and happy marriage is pervasive, it is challenging for anyone to accept and forgive betrayal. Therefore, it is essential to attempt to accept your circumstances and to recognize the overwhelmed, irritable, and depressed self within. This will provide you with additional mental energy to consider other matters, as your mind will otherwise be preoccupied with a constant stream of negative emotions.

Furthermore, allowing oneself to attempt to accept the current situation will facilitate the potential for change. This may appear paradoxical, but it is indeed the case that change is predicated on the acceptance of the status quo.

Secondly, it is recommended that you undertake a rational assessment of your own state of mind.

Rational thinking can assist in developing a more nuanced understanding of oneself and one's circumstances.

In order to be rational, one must undertake the following three actions:

First, it is essential to comprehend that the process of rebuilding a relationship after infidelity necessitates adherence to the four fundamental principles.

The initial principle is that the individual who has engaged in infidelity must recognize the harm caused to their partner.

The second principle is that the individual who has engaged in infidelity must assume the responsibility of initiating efforts to repair the relationship.

The third principle is that the party who has been cheated sets a limit on their response. This means that they do not use the affair to exert pressure on the other party or to gain a moral advantage in other areas of life.

The third principle is to cease the pursuit-and-escape pattern.

From the information provided, it is evident that the husband, who is the unfaithful party, has no intention of truly returning to the family. This has resulted in a lack of trust, which has made it challenging to rebuild the relationship within the marriage.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that allowing a child to grow up in a seemingly complete but loveless family can also be detrimental.

In your description, you indicated that your child may be a factor influencing your decision to divorce. While you may desire to provide your child with a complete family, it is essential to recognize that what your child truly needs is love, not a family that appears complete but lacks genuine affection. It is, therefore, detrimental to allow your child to grow up in an environment characterized by frequent conflict.

Thirdly, it is important to recognise that the most effective way to retaliate against one's partner is to pursue a life of one's own.

You have indicated that there may be another reason for your reluctance to pursue a divorce: a desire to avoid providing your former partner with the satisfaction of a dissolution of the marriage. However, it is important to recognize that the most effective means of seeking retribution is to pursue a full and satisfying life, as prolonging the process of divorce may ultimately result in greater personal distress.

When one employs rational thought processes, it is possible to resolve various negative emotions that may be present within the individual.

It is recommended that you direct your attention to your own well-being and consider the actions you can take to improve your emotional state.

When one engages in a rational consideration of one's circumstances, it is possible to ascertain a course of action. At this juncture, it is advisable to focus on one's own needs and to strive to perform to the best of one's abilities.

For example, if one is still undecided about whether to proceed with a divorce, it may be helpful to consider what kind of life one desires and whether one's current circumstances align with those aspirations. It is likely that the answer is negative. In such a case, it may be beneficial to identify strategies for moving closer to the desired life. After contemplating these strategies, one may gain clarity and experience an improvement in mood.

It is possible that you are concerned that following the dissolution of your marriage, issues related to your children and other challenges in your life may become a source of stress. It is my hope that you will be able to adopt a developmental perspective with regard to your own growth and development. As you have indicated in your description, you discovered that your husband had been unfaithful to you and was employed in a position that was, at the very least, unsatisfactory. Nevertheless, the income you generated from this employment was sufficient to support yourself. This demonstrates that you possess the capacity to enhance and refine your abilities. It is essential that you recognize the power of time and have confidence in your abilities so that you may make informed decisions.

When contemplating the potential financial benefits of divorce, it is important to consider the personal costs of prolonging a detrimental situation. Is it not also a cause for concern? The decision to divorce is not driven by a desire to "fulfill" one's partner, but rather to regain control of one's life as soon as possible. It is essential to make informed decisions that align with one's own best interests. Failure to make a choice may perpetuate a cycle of suffering. After carefully evaluating the options, it is likely that a decision will emerge. It is crucial to recognize that making rational choices is possible.

Once a decision has been made, the individual will experience a gradual reduction in emotional distress, allowing them to shift their focus to subsequent tasks and address them in a systematic manner. This approach can facilitate positive developments in the individual's life.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. Should you wish to engage in further communication, you are invited to click on the "Find a Coach" link at the foot of this page, which will enable you to contact me directly.

Hello, question asker!

Since the questioner is considering whether to get a divorce, but there are many ties that make him undecided, let's dive into the current situation!

✅In the title, the questioner used the word "awkward" to describe their current age. Do they have any negative thoughts about this age? Let's dive in and explore this together!

✅My husband's mood is affected by his problems, and he has the opportunity to improve his job performance. His income is just enough to support himself, and he has the chance to grow his income to support the children.

✅When you have an emotional breakdown, you even want to commit suicide, but you can't bear to leave your children.

I can't stand it when my husband shows affection for his mistress on the internet. He says he wants to return to the family, but he hasn't made any changes in his actions. Now he's even asking for a divorce. I'm ready for a fresh start!

✅ You want a divorce but don't want to give him an advantage. What do you mean by advantage? It could be material, mental, in terms of time, or even giving your husband a green light to cheat!

No woman can remain calm when faced with her husband's infidelity. But she will find her own way to vent her anger, and fighting is one way. Of course, we can also choose other ways!

Now you both want a divorce, but you don't want to give him an easy time. So you can think about it from two directions: the first situation is that you don't get a divorce, so what do you need to do to make your husband return to the family and work together with you in harmony?

For example, have an in-depth conversation with him, make an agreement with him, take the initiative to change your attitude and stop arguing with him, etc. The second scenario is that you agree to divorce. What preparations do you need to make to maintain your own life? What preparations do you need to make if you want your children to live with you? What can you do to help yourself grow?

Now, consider which outcome you are more capable of achieving and more likely to accept!

If you can't let go of your husband's affair and can't change your attitude towards him, then it's time to think about what about the affair is most unacceptable to you. Perhaps it's your husband's false repentance and the mistress's blatant display of their love for each other, which makes you feel humiliated, ignored, and abandoned?

Or is it your husband's neglect of the family that makes you feel hard done by and isolated?

Make the most of the amazing resources around you, like close friends, good friends, teachers, colleagues, or neighbors. Find someone you trust who can be tolerant of you to talk to. Get some positive and sunny strength from others. You can also do something you love to help distract yourself and give your mind a moment of peace.

If you need a little extra support, you can always talk to a counselor or a listener.

I really hope these thoughts can help you!

You are not alone on the road ahead! Best wishes ??