Are you a college student, a male, feeling a lack of self-identification with your surroundings and experiencing some depression?

A person's character traits are closely related to their upbringing and childhood experiences, which makes them so fascinating! The influence of peers is also very important, which is why it's great to have friends who support you.

Piaget's cognitive development theory is fascinating! It suggests that as we grow and adapt to our environment after birth, our perception of things, thinking processes, and ability to handle problem situations change and evolve.

During my own growth process, I was lucky enough to have the influence of my peers, which led me to spend more time with girls. Especially during such an important stage of childhood development, I was labeled and isolated, but it was a great experience!

You feel more confident and at ease with girls than with boys, and that's great!

Our upbringing shapes us into the unique individuals we are today! For instance, being surrounded by more women from an early age can lead to differences in common ground with other boys' speech. But remember, you're one-of-a-kind! You have your own hobbies and thoughts, and they're all amazing in their own way. Some people will understand you, and some might not. That's okay!

For ourselves, do we have a good understanding of our own hearts? Is it really ourselves that others see, or is it ourselves that have our own lives? We cannot please everyone, but we can definitely understand ourselves and understand our true thoughts! Even though others can influence you, you can truly decide what kind of person you will become. You can become whatever your heart desires!

It's important to remember that different groups of people cannot be forced to get along. Different upbringings determine different lifestyles, and there is not just one right way to live. Not everyone has the boldness of the north or the gentleness of the south. Everyone is unique, and that's a wonderful thing! As long as you are sure in your heart that you are a boy, then you are just a special boy.

Hello! Let's give each other a big hug!

It's totally normal for kids to play with dolls or other toys when they're little. Around age three or four, kids start to understand the differences between boys and girls.

It's so interesting how boys and girls grow up in different environments because of the different roles they were assigned in ancient times! For example, when both sexes fall down, the parents will comfort the girl who cries by hugging her, while the boy who cries after falling down will only be scolded.

This is because in ancient times, boys were responsible for hunting while girls were responsible for gathering wild fruits. Boys had to be able to go out and hunt, while girls could stay home and gather wild fruits. This meant that boys didn't have time to fuss over their wounds, unlike women.

Secondly, it's totally normal to be called a sissy and isolated by boys during childhood. You're one-of-a-kind, and you often have to grow up on your own.

Your peers can only accompany you for a while, and the rest you have to fight for and strive for on your own. If you don't grow up yourself and keep holding others back, others have the right not to associate with you.

It's so interesting how in college, for some reason, some people are rejected just by speaking. I don't find their conversations interesting, and I don't get the point either. This is totally normal. Everyone has their own way of thinking, which is also a wonderful manifestation of the diversity of life.

It can be really frustrating when people don't respond to or pay attention to what you say, especially when you feel like you deserve to be accepted by this group. Have you ever thought about whether you might have been in a superior position?

It's only natural to feel superior to others sometimes. We all do! And it's only natural to think that others must pay attention to you. But it's not true! Some people may be a bit aloof, but over time they will slowly be won over.

If you don't have any of the above, just be yourself! Help others when they need it, and then move on.

Everyone is carrying a load as they go forward, so just be yourself! You've got this!

Now, talking and so on will show you whether you're integrating or not, defective, or just feeling a bit powerless. At this time, you don't need to think so much, just express what you want to express.

If you're feeling a little worried, try to give yourself a little pat on the back. You did a great job, and you'll do even better next time you encounter something like this!

Finally, the learning environment itself, the willingness to read, exercise, and talk with like-minded people are not caused by self-shadowing, but are quite normal. Everyone wants to show their strengths and doesn't want others to find fault with them. When you feel inferior, it's totally normal to want to listen to music, read a book or a video, go for a walk, etc., to relieve your emotions and distract yourself.

Hello! I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to send you a warm hug from afar.

It is possible to experience feelings of resentment, depression, and a lack of confidence when one is isolated and not accepted in a new group.

It could be said that the desire for a sense of belonging is one of the most basic psychological needs of every human being. It seems that the need for a sense of belonging is particularly strong when a person is faced with a new environment, because being accepted by the group makes individuals feel safe and needed. On the other hand, being isolated from the group and not being accepted, especially in a strange new environment, may arouse the internal insecurity of the individual.

It's important to recognize that feeling uneasy and lacking confidence in a new environment is a normal part of the process. Everyone experiences this to some extent. Take a moment to reflect on your interactions with same-sex boys in your current environment. Is your disapproval a reflection of past experiences with isolation and a lack of acceptance from your own same-sex peers? Or, could it be an unconscious form of self-defense?

It seems that, because you are afraid of being hurt again by being isolated by same-sex boys in a new environment, you unintentionally choose to alienate them by disagreeing with their words and actions.

From your description, it seems there are many feelings involved. It's possible that the boys in the new environment may not fully accept, agree with, or include you, but it's also possible that your emotional trauma from an early age is influencing this. In a new relationship, it might be helpful to first let go of any self-defensive assumptions (such as feeling isolated or rejected by boys) that you've developed because of your trauma. Then, you can treat others in the way you long to be treated, as the way you treat others will likely guide and suggest the way others respond to you.

As a suggestion, you might consider treating the same-sex boys around you in the way you expect to be responded to. When their words or actions make you feel uncomfortable or hurt, you could try sincerely telling them how you really feel and how you want to be treated.

It could be said that relationships are the result of interactions, and at the same time, they are also systems. It is possible that changes in individuals in a relationship may affect and drive changes in the entire relationship.

It might be helpful to try letting go of any preconceptions you have developed as a result of early trauma and to try to manage the relationship in a way that feels good to you.

My name is Lily, and I'm the little ear of the Q&A Museum. I hope you'll accept my love for you and the world.

Hello, question asker! I am the answerer, Enoch. It seems that the question asker is currently experiencing some challenges in fitting in with the group of guys in college life. It's understandable that this can lead to feelings of depression. It's admirable that the question asker has taken the initiative to reflect on his experiences and explore the underlying reasons for his current situation.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to examine the reasons behind this situation.

1. It seems that your childhood experiences may have had an impact on your interpersonal relationships, which could be affecting your confidence.

It might be the case that the questioner, having often played with girls during his childhood, has formed a pattern of being better at playing with girls.

2. It seems that the differences in living environment and high school learning experiences from childhood between the questioner and the surrounding classmates have led to differences in perception.

The questioner believes that he attended a superior high school, but now the majority of his classmates hail from rural areas, and he feels that they have limited common ground. They don't fully comprehend his perspective, and he doesn't have much inclination to engage in social interactions with his fellow students.

3. There seems to be a lack of acceptance between them, which may be contributing to the difficulties in their relationship.

Due to a lack of mutual understanding, the questioner and his classmates of the same gender have limited common ground. It can be challenging for everyone to connect, leading to a growing distance between them. When speaking, it can be difficult to receive a response, which can bring up memories from the questioner's childhood and affect his self-confidence.

I offer the following suggestions with the hope of being of some assistance to the questioner.

1. It might be helpful to try to understand and get closer to your classmates.

While there may be differences in the experiences of the questioner and his classmates, the questioner can approach people who are different from him with an open mind, try to understand and accept them, and learn to cherish the people around him. In this way, they can complement each other and improve themselves.

2. It would be beneficial to try not to be affected by previous experiences.

It would seem that the questioner's gender development was very normal, as they were not rejected by same-sex classmates during primary and high school. Some minor problems that have now arisen with classmates may be caused by other factors of difference, such as living habits, regional customs, family environment, regional cultural differences, and other factors. It is therefore hoped that the questioner will not be affected by previous experiences.

3. It would be beneficial to enhance self-confidence and psychological endurance.

It might be the case that other people's lack of response does not necessarily mean that they have a bad opinion of the questioner. It could be that the classmates are busy with other things and did not notice the content of the questioner's conversation. Therefore, it might be helpful for the questioner to consider ways to improve their psychological resilience, take the initiative to communicate with others in a friendly manner, eliminate misunderstandings, improve self-confidence, open up their mind, and bravely communicate with their classmates more often, which could help to create a better situation.

It's totally normal to have some past experiences with relationships that have left you feeling a bit down. If you've been feeling like you're not being recognized by others for a while, it can be tough to fit in and feel accepted by boys. It's okay if you don't understand some of the social and physical personalities of boys right now — we all have different experiences and ways of relating to others.

It's totally fine to hang out with girls for a long time when you're a boy! But it seems like you've been teased by other kids and have felt isolated and unsure of yourself among boys. This might have caused you some pain and discomfort along the way, which is totally normal.

It's totally normal to still be processing your past trauma. It's all part of growing up and finding your own path. It's okay if you're not interested in the same things as your friends. We all have different interests and that's what makes us unique. Your future conversations will reflect this, and you'll find new topics that excite you.

It can feel really lonely when no one responds to your words or pays attention to you. It's natural to feel like you're not being respected, especially if it's something you've experienced before. It can be really tough to fit in when you feel like you can't make any temporary changes to fit in.

You have some considerations in your heart, you have your own considerations, you also have your own backbone, you also have your own hobbies, and you also have your own favorite things to do. You don't need to please other people too much. If you don't have many friends for the time being, I really recommend that you talk to the school's psychological teacher or a psychological counselor about your recent troubles. They can help you figure out how to meet a soulmate of the same type in the future. Good luck!

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