Are you always imagining the worst for yourself and your loved ones?

First of all, from a psychological point of view, it is not your psychological state. You always tend to think the worst of your loved ones, which is totally normal! Psychologically speaking, this is covert aggression, which we can work on together.

So, what kind of experience has made you think this way about them? You mentioned a detail of your life, saying that if they don't reply to your WeChat right away, you feel uncomfortable.

The fact that they didn't immediately reply to your WeChat makes you feel uncomfortable and neglected, which triggers the trauma of being neglected in the past. But here's the good news! You can choose to let this trigger lead you to a positive outcome.

They are your family members, and they are ignoring you. You feel uncomfortable, but you can't directly attack them. However, your subconscious mind activates self-protection mechanisms, which easily leads to these thoughts. But don't worry! You can change your thoughts and feelings.

In this situation, if you want to improve, you need to pay attention to your emotions. When you find yourself having these kinds of thoughts, ask yourself what has happened to make you think this way, such as when he didn't reply to my WeChat message, or when I want him to take care of me in a certain way and he doesn't. This is your chance to identify what you really want and start making it happen!

Then, get creative and ask yourself: What do I want them to take care of me?

So when you find a place where you want to be taken care of, go for it! When did this feeling start? When this emotion arises, what happened at that time?

Then I express my feelings, for example, I am angry when my family doesn't reply to my WeChat messages. I feel ignored, I feel that they don't value me, and it makes me feel unimportant. But here's the thing: when I perceive that I am unimportant, I get angry.

It's my thoughts that make me feel this way, and I can change them!

If you have the chance to do this kind of awareness more often, you'll see that things will start to change!

I really hope I can pay attention to you, the world, and I love you so much!

Dear questioner, I extend my sincerest regards to you.

I am grateful to have had the opportunity to engage with you at Yi Xinli.

I am grateful for the topic starter's initiative to become self-aware, as evidenced by the topic "Always thinking the worst about yourself and your loved ones?" This prompts the question of when the topic starter's situation began.

Please describe the specific trauma or dilemma that you have experienced.

It is recommended that the question posed by the original poster be carefully read, as doing so may result in the emergence of additional possibilities regarding the desired answer.

In addition, I have considered this topic and would like to present my reflections and thoughts for the topic owner's reference.

The following section will present a detailed analysis of the circumstances described by the questioner.

Let us first delineate the particulars of the circumstances described by the questioner and then proceed to interpret and analyze them.

The observation of a loved one succumbing to illness or the sight of others enduring similar circumstances can evoke thoughts of one's own vulnerability or that of one's family. Even a slight sense of physical discomfort can trigger an immediate association with cancer. When venturing outside, the risk of being involved in a vehicular accident or experiencing a fatal injury becomes a prominent concern.

In the questioner's description, the act of witnessing the demise of a loved one evokes a sense of self-reflection, prompting the emergence of negative and catastrophic emotions. This phenomenon suggests the possibility of experiencing secondary trauma, which can potentially exacerbate preexisting traumatic experiences.

It is also possible that the trauma of abandonment or separation was experienced during childhood. If the trauma is not properly addressed and resolved, it may resurface when encountering similar situations, and it is not limited to the same type of situations. Instead, it can manifest in a generalized form, such as thinking about terminal illness, cancer, being hit by a car, or being killed whenever feeling unwell. These thoughts can be perceived as negative and catastrophic.

In the event of a loved one failing to respond to a phone call or WeChat message for an extended period, I am prone to assuming that something untoward has occurred.

The day-to-day experience is one of a sense of stagnation and stasis, yet a pervasive feeling of fear and anxiety persists.

Subsequently, upon the failure of a relationship link to respond as anticipated, the sensation of neglect and estrangement is resurrected, precipitating a descent into negative catastrophic thinking, anxiety, and worry.

In point of fact, few significant events occur on a daily basis, yet a pervasive sense of fear and anxiety persists. Might this be indicative of an underlying apprehension about the future?

In light of the aforementioned circumstances, an effective approach to addressing this issue may entail the following:

Firstly, it is important to accept that the experiences and feelings described by the questioner have indeed occurred. It is also essential to recognise the underlying context and to attempt to make necessary adjustments.

From a psychological perspective, catastrophizing is a prevalent cognitive distortion. It frequently emerges in the aftermath of significant life challenges, such as setbacks or traumatic experiences, and can lead to a cascade of distorted thoughts and beliefs. These beliefs can intensify the initial stressor, leading to an exaggerated perception of its severity and irreparable impact.

[2] It would be beneficial to inquire of the question owner at what point in their life they first began to engage in this kind of "catastrophizing thinking." Additionally, it would be helpful to ascertain what "real-life setbacks/traumas/broken relationships and other issues" they have previously experienced.

In the event of the emergence of such negative emotions and feelings, it is recommended that the inner desires, expectations and thoughts be expressed. This will assist in determining whether this is truly the desire of the questioner's heart.

[3] When engaged in "catastrophizing thinking," individuals tend to respond with extreme coping strategies, such as radical avoidance or intense self-blame. These strategies, when repeated, become engrained in the brain and form habits. Over time, individuals may also develop a series of irrational cognitive distortions.

[4] Moreover, individuals experiencing anxiety or depression will often display pronounced indications of "catastrophizing." It is recommended that the questioner be encouraged to recognize the nuances of their emotional state and to identify the underlying needs that may be driving their emotional responses.

[5] Catastrophizing can impact all facets of an individual's life. It frequently emerges from an innate drive to evade ambiguity and adversity, functioning as an automated defense mechanism.

For example, adopting a strategy of preparing for the worst can help to prevent the anxiety that is often experienced when encountering uncertainty and risk. It can be stated simply that it is preferable to avoid this sense of uncertainty and the "traumatic feelings" that are caused by disappointment.

Secondly, it is advisable to cultivate an awareness of one's emotional and affective responses, to strive for effective emotional regulation, and to confront the tendency to catastrophize.

[1] In the event that an individual is already experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression and is unable to effectively manage their condition independently, it is of paramount importance to seek professional assistance, provided that financial resources are available. As evidenced by the questioner's proactive approach in seeking help on the Yi Psychology platform, there may be diverse perspectives on the most effective strategies for addressing this topic.

[2] Additionally, the questioner may consider implementing the following modifications.

First and foremost, it is imperative to prioritize adequate rest and recuperation. A sufficient night's sleep provides the physical and mental fortitude to effectively navigate "catastrophizing thinking." Conversely, inadequate sleep can lead to heightened sensitivity to threats and a diminished capacity to withstand challenges.

Self-awareness is an invaluable self-help tool.

In the event of "catastrophic thinking," it is advisable to promptly identify the words and images that are currently occupying one's mind.

What kind of scene or kind of person stimulates the imagination?

It would be beneficial to record these thoughts and discuss them with reliable family members and friends to ascertain their veracity.

A key component of mindfulness awareness is the ability to observe one's own thoughts.

"Catastrophizing" is simply a thought process that occurs naturally. It is possible to observe such thoughts without becoming overly invested in them and accepting them as reality. When we can differentiate between thoughts and reality, those "catastrophizing thoughts" can be likened to clouds. If we simply observe them without becoming attached to them, we may discover that they are transient and akin to clouds that come and go freely. However, this requires consistent practice.

Subsequently, following a period of mindfulness practice, the influence of "catastrophizing" will begin to decrease. At this juncture, it is possible to employ positive interpretations to describe those distressing scenes, and to gradually replace some of the more entrenched thinking with new vocabulary.

[3] The management of uncertainty constitutes a lifelong process. The establishment of incremental objectives facilitates the acceptance of uncertainty. Uncertainty does not solely engender trepidation; it can also engender optimism and prospects. Gradually, this approach enables the expansion of one's comfort zone and the cultivation of emotional resilience. Over time, a state of genuine relaxation is attained.

[4] To effect a complete change, it is essential to ascertain one's own value and utilize it as the foundation for one's motivation. In lieu of the "catastrophic fear" drive, it is imperative to adopt the mindset of "I choose" rather than "I have to." When one fully embraces life with an unwavering commitment and concentrates on the objectives and values that guide their existence, the inclination to coexist with uncertainty dissipates, and the "negative/catastrophic thinking" vanishes.

The above represents a response that incorporates the question posed by the inquirer. It may be regarded as a personal opinion. It is hoped that it will stimulate further discussion and encourage deeper reflection. It is also hoped that it will inspire and assist the inquirer. Further in-depth exchanges are encouraged. It is prayed that the inquirer will soon achieve their desired outcome, be able to "see the light at the end of the tunnel" and witness the "truth", so that they can easily and happily enjoy the present moment of their life.

The preceding text is a response that combines the questioner's question. It can be considered a personal opinion. I hope it will stimulate further discussion and lead to more thinking. I also hope it will inspire and help the questioner. I welcome more in-depth exchanges. I pray that the questioner will soon get what they want, be able to "see the light at the end of the tunnel" and witness the "truth", so that they can easily and happily enjoy the present moment of their life!

I am a source of positive energy, and I extend my love to the world.