Are you facing difficulties at work, unable to see a future, and feeling no happiness at all?

I'm really sorry to see that you're not having a good time right now. I know that life and the workplace can be full of social comparisons, which can make you feel very uncomfortable, helpless, and inferior. It's hard to see the beauty of the future when you're feeling this way.

It's totally normal to feel this way! We often see a lot of negative news or stories about very glamorous and wealthy people reaching the pinnacle of life. It's easy to be drawn to this type of information.

I can see that you're not happy in your current job, and I'm really sorry to hear that. It's so hard to find work that you're passionate about, and it's understandable that you're feeling uneasy. I'm also a bit concerned about your current salary and benefits, as they don't seem to be very high. It would be great if you could try to find other jobs that suit you better.

It's probably best not to compare yourself to the second generation of rich families, though. It's not really a fair comparison. You're already comparing yourself to the wealthiest people, which is a lot to live up to! If you're struggling to convince yourself, why not talk to your friends? They might be going through something similar.

Adults often have long faces and don't smile as much as they could. Your son will be surprised when he grows up and realizes that everyone is trying to surpass the UK and the US, as if the starting line is getting farther and farther away, because they're afraid of becoming ordinary people. But most people are just ordinary people, and that's okay! I recommend that you seek psychological counseling and talk things out. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello.

From what you said, I know you are under a lot of pressure. When I look at my one-year-old daughter, I feel that she has already lost.

When you compare your situation to others, you feel stressed.

Every day, you have to face work you don't like. This kind of work doesn't bring you a good reputation or more parts that can satisfy you. The treatment is not high, and you feel lost and panicked when you compare yourself with others who are more resourceful.

The problem is that you don't know who you are and you feel confused and lost. You worry about your daughter a lot.

Your mind may have lots of thoughts you want to change. For example, you may think, "What if..."

One's confusion and status quo may improve. One's thinking about the situation is rigid. In the midst of anxiety and panic, one has lost resilience and tension. One is not as flexible and resilient as before.

All the mind-soothing inculcation, such as living in the present, being down-to-earth, and so on, can help us understand things mentally, but they cannot improve our feelings. It is like the mental level, knowing is one thing, and then one's real feelings, which can be part of practical action, can be put into practice, and then knowledge and action can be united.

But first, recognizing what the mind can do is important.

Overall, you have many expectations for your current situation. You are not satisfied with it. You have your own ideas and pursuits. You want to bring your daughter a better life. These are our ideals, aspirations, directions, and goals.

When we have higher goals and a direction in life, we will examine what resources around us can support us. You are not like others because you are not rich, nor are you from a wealthy family. These may be the places where you are not advantaged compared to the people around you.

Then we need to see what resources we have and what we can do to achieve our goals. With a plan and specific steps, we can get closer to the life we want.

Right now, you may need to think about who you are, where you're going, and what you need to get there. Make your goals and needs real and achievable.

Pressure, panic, and anxiety can be positive motivators. They urge us to do better and move forward.

Hello, question asker! I'm here to help you solve this problem.

First, give the questioner a reassuring pat on the shoulder. It's clear that repeating the same work day in and day out with few rewards and a growing gap with others is generating anxiety and preventing the questioner from feeling happiness. It's evident that the questioner has fallen into a mentality of comparing themselves with others, and it's a mentality of comparing themselves with the best. They like to find people who are better than themselves to compare with, which makes them feel anxious.

The questioner needs to consider where this psychological need to compare oneself with others comes from. The judgment that one must be highly demanding of oneself and reach a certain social height or level to be considered outstanding and happy must also be questioned.

We must define the questioner. We must identify the optimal starting line and the highest level of happiness.

I am unsure if the questioner has considered these questions in depth.

This way of thinking, which compares the best with others, has clearly been brought over from the questioner's family of origin. Since childhood, the elders in the family have compared the questioner with children from other families, and the questioner has formed a way of thinking that compares with others, how others are doing, and puts others in their own world.

The questioner must reflect on what they have gained from comparing themselves with others. Was it a healthy comparison or did it produce bad emotions?

You can't live in other people's worlds, so compare yourself to your past and what you have gained.

From the questioner's description, it's clear that he doesn't like his current job. I want to know if he's had any positive gains from it, like positive comments or things he thinks are better. If he doesn't like doing this job, I want to know what's kept him going so far.

This energy of perseverance can be used in other places. It will help the questioner face work better.

The questioner's question cannot be discussed in detail since it was asked on the platform. It is evident that the questioner is seeking to resolve the negative emotions caused by workplace comparisons, rather than finding a good job and happiness. The following suggestions are provided:

Comparison is the source of anxiety.

People are sensitive creatures. They imagine events and emotions even when nothing has happened.

If someone is nice to me today, it doesn't mean they have a good impression of me. If someone's attitude was bad at lunch, it doesn't mean they have a problem with me. If someone suddenly didn't say goodbye, it doesn't mean our relationship is worse than it was. These thoughts come up in our daily lives, and we need to recognize them.

Let's not forget the signals our brain gives us when we feel a huge gap or a negative event. We all know what it's like to have our self-esteem hit, to feel that our value is not as high as we thought. These thoughts that arise from comparison are the source of the anxiety the questioner feels.

Recognizing the excellence of others is the root cause of poor moods.

Admit it. You feel inferior to others. Why? Because you know that others are better than you. This has to do with our "sense of superiority."

It is normal to hate those who are inferior to you but surpass you in some way, and it is inevitable to experience emotional fluctuations. Many people subconsciously feel that comparing themselves to bad people is a sign of weakness, cowardice, and making excuses—and they're wrong.

But one day, the number of people subconsciously categorizing them in this column will exceed you or be equal to you. I guarantee that very few people can remain unaffected and indifferent. Especially when we are in the midst of certain negative emotions, these emotions will reach a peak.

When we wear colored glasses, "comparison" becomes another level of "bar." The questioner's poor mood is a direct result of their inability to recognize the excellence of others.

Compare yourself to those below you and feel satisfied.

We always compare ourselves to people who are better than us. So, let's try comparing ourselves to people who are worse. Many people think that comparing yourself to bad people is a sign of weakness, cowardice, and making excuses. They're wrong.

But one day, the number of people subconsciously categorizing them in this column will exceed you or be on par with you. It's a fact that very few people can achieve no fluctuation or attention. Especially when we are in a certain negative mood, this mood is at its peak.

When we wear colored glasses, "comparison" becomes another level of "bar." If we want to feel satisfied or happy, we can compare ourselves with those who are less fortunate than us. However, if we compare ourselves with those who are more fortunate than us, it is very difficult for the average person like us to compare with them.

We all feel a gap between ourselves and others, inadequate, and even constantly anxious. These are human emotions that we want to overcome. However, this does not mean that emotions should dominate the process in the future.

Ultimately, we rely on reason and ability, not emotions. Comparison is not the only way to understand and judge one's abilities and position. Listening and asking for advice are also ways to understand.

If you truly have a resistance to comparison, you must adopt a different approach to work and life.

I am confident that my answer will help the questioner.

Hello, question asker!

I appreciate your trust and I am confident that my answer will be helpful to you.

"I know that people should live in the present, but that doesn't convince me." From your words, I understand that you grasp the concept, but I also see that you don't fully comprehend what it means to "live in the present." Let's analyze it together:

You do the work you don't like every day. Why? What work do you like?

The salary is not high. Salaries vary by industry. The financial industry offers higher salaries than the service industry. Qualifications and abilities also affect salary. Senior employees and employees with excellent performance reviews earn more than new employees and employees with poor performance reviews. What do you mean by not high?

Stop comparing yourself to others. It will only hurt you. No matter what others are, it won't change what you are.

There's a growing gap between our family and other families. It's because others are second-generation rich and second-generation demolishers, while you're not working hard. The gap is getting wider.

Asking so many questions is the best way to help you find the causes of your current situation. Then, we'll seek ways to deal with these causes and change according to the methods. This is the correct way to "live in the present."

I'm going to give you some suggestions.

Not everyone is as lucky as you: doing what you love and making money at the same time. So, do the work you have to do well, so that you can feel a sense of accomplishment, and you can turn what you don't like into what you like. You will become better at it with practice, and your salary will reflect that.

➡️ Stay away from second-generation heirs or demolition second-generation heirs if they're the "lying-down" type. They're not worth your time. But if they're the "enterprising" type, use them to your advantage. Show them what you can do, get on their big boat, and set sail together!

Do your best for your son, and he'll win the race. He's full of your love and will repay you with hard work!

This is for your reference. Best wishes!