Are you facing difficulties in your relationship with your husband due to disagreements with your in-laws?

I came downstairs to your question and saw the problems you face as a woman. I'm so excited to help you in some way!

From the words on the screen, I can feel the difficulties of a woman with young children and a career in the ascendant. The problems of this period are intertwined with the pressures and challenges of marriage, gender, parent-child relationships, and career. All of reality demands that we grow up quickly, and we can do it! The inner exhaustion, powerlessness, and fear are known only to ourselves, but we can conquer them.

Two people come together to form a family. When the next generation in the family, the children, arrive, it's a whole new ballgame! The entire family structure enters a new mode, ushering in new conflicts that require a new balance.

It's totally normal for young mothers to feel resentful when their mothers-in-law refuse to take care of their children. It can feel really unfair that only their parents have to take care of the children when they are both involved. If at this time the husband cannot objectively comfort them, then these feelings can make us want to express them uncontrollably, manifesting as complaints.

In fact, we complain because we want support, and our husbands avoid the situation because they don't want to be blamed. But the reality is that the current mode of interaction has already deviated from the goal. So, let's try something new!

Let's try the following methods together if possible!

1. Live in the moment! Make the most of the resources you have. Look after your parents and children, take care of yourself, and ask your husband for things that are achievable and helpful now, like making lunch on Saturday so your parents can take a break. Live in the moment! It's a great way to be.

2. Adjust your communication style, rally everyone you can, and don't use complaints to push your husband out of your camp. If your mother-in-law doesn't come to take care of the grandchildren, it's not just about you and the children—it's also about your husband and his children! There's no need to use your complaints to offset the fact that no one has offered to help.

3. Take care of your emotions. If you are happy, your children will be happy, and so will your parents. It's time to break out of the cycle in your family by separating emotions of different types and causes. You can do it!

Hello, I'm Shu Ya Qingzheng. I'm here to share my thoughts and give you the support you need.

You worked hard to get pregnant and give birth. You deserve to be cared about and recognized by your mother-in-law and to be treated tenderly by your husband. Your mother-in-law should take care of the baby. Your husband should listen to your complaints. You need your husband's support and tolerance.

I hug you again.

The husband doesn't want to hear your complaints about the mother-in-law, and he even takes revenge by helping his parents-in-law with the children. You can't solve the problems through communication, and instead there is a rift between you. You have every right to feel aggrieved and angry.

You can self-reflect on your inner feelings and needs, learn about psychology, and seek help for self-growth. That's great!

Let's start by looking at the problems between you.

The mother-in-law does not take care of the children.

You feel wronged and angry.

The husband's inferiority complex

You have a gap between you.

Your mother-in-law's absence is not something you can force or change. Accept it. Not all mothers-in-law are able or obliged to help their sons raise their grandchildren.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a classic case of two irreconcilable contradictions. It's likely that your mother-in-law has chosen to distance herself because she sees this. Perhaps she has more responsibilities at her family home due to the conditions there and is not allowed to come out alone. Or maybe she genuinely believes that raising her own children is not a bad thing.

Your husband is unaware of your grievances and anger, but they have become a source of resentment and prejudice within you, which you often bring up.

Your husband feels guilty and inferior about his mother not being able to take care of your wife. He needs to reassure you of your feelings and needs.

You act like a pair of children who have not grown up. You have not yet learned to deal with conflicts in an intimate relationship or your own emotions. You need to seek professional help from a demand consultant to grow up together.

It is important to understand that having children and raising them is a matter for both spouses, and also a matter of your own choice. The growth of a child requires the companionship and love of both parents, and both spouses must work together to shoulder this responsibility.

Once you understand this truth, you will no longer hold a grudge against your mother-in-law in your heart, and your husband will be full of gratitude for your parents' help.

02. The husband-wife relationship is the most important of all family relationships. It is crucial to learn to manage it right now. With mutual understanding, support, attention, and love for each other, all problems can be solved easily.

Learning to communicate well is the first and most important step in maintaining a good relationship.

The author of "The Art of Communication" is clear: to achieve good intimacy and effective communication, you need to adjust yourself, express yourself reasonably, and build a relationship.

This book is divided into three parts to teach us how to navigate relationships.

To improve communication, you must look inward. This means becoming self-aware and understanding your own role, perceptions, and emotions in communication.

When we look outward, we focus on factors related to the other person. This includes verbal and non-verbal communication and listening.

When it comes to relationships, the main focus is on the relationship with the other person, not on their actions. It's time to focus on the relationship, the communication atmosphere, and conflicts, and build on them.

Be aware of your inner feelings and needs. What kind of life do you most care about and want? What kind of intimate relationship do you most want?

This is why self-growth is essential and worthwhile.

At the same time, you must decide whether you value your mother-in-law's help or the respect and recognition she and your husband show your parents most.

We must learn to use an attitude of understanding, sincerity, equality, and respect. We should use more positive and objective language and express our inner feelings and needs to our husbands, asking for their understanding and support.

Reading gives us the ability to think independently, nourish and enrich our hearts, and make us more powerful. It allows us to treat life and relationships with gentleness and tolerance, and enjoy life and the happiness that relationships bring.

You should read some psychology books on personal growth and family relationships.

Read books such as Intimacy: Achieving Soulmates, The Art of Communication, and Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships.

I love you, the world, and I'm here to help.

Hello, I'm Weiliang, and I'm thrilled to be here!

Reading your description, I feel your anxiety and helplessness, but I also feel your strength and resilience! I want to give you a big, warm hug!

You say you have a four-year-old child, so you must have been very much in love with each other! Because of the arrival of the child, your mother-in-law did not offer to help with childcare in time, which has caused you to have a grudge against her.

Dear, it must be hard to raise children, right? But have you ever thought that you and your husband decided to bring the child into this world, and you and your husband are obliged to raise the child? If your mother-in-law comes to help, you should be grateful to her. If she doesn't help, you shouldn't blame her for it.

After all, the child is not the mother-in-law's, is it? When you are tired and feel sorry for your parents, you might as well tell your husband that it is not easy for you and your parents either. And that's okay!

Absolutely! Let him take on more responsibilities, but don't blame his parents.

You say your husband is a blackhearted person, and you treat his parents the same way he treats yours. But why not be more understanding of his parents and exchange love for love, and sincerity for sincerity?

Marriage is the merging of two families. His parents are where he comes from. When we love someone, we not only love their good points and the present, but also accept their shortcomings and past. These things make up the person they are now! Family is not a place for reason and equality. There's no way to measure who has given more and who loves more little by little.

Absolutely! We definitely need to understand and be considerate of each other.

You say there's nothing wrong with his character, and you know he feels inferior when it comes to family matters. Have you ever thought about telling him not to feel inferior? I bet he'd be really happy if you did!

Have you told him that no matter what his family members are like, I love you? If your love gives him such a foundation, I absolutely know he'll love you even more and respect your parents even more too!

And you'll never have to worry about conflicts over these issues again!

I absolutely believe that the power to solve problems at home is not about who is more reasonable or tougher, but about love! Loving your family is not about being weak or tolerant; it is about the strength of your heart!

A hundred refines into steel, yet it is soft around the finger. This is what it's all about!

I really hope this helps! I wish you all the best! The world and I love you!