Are you feeling much better from depression and finding that you have lost your ability to socialize normally?

Hello, I can see you're hurting.

Let me tell you what I observed.

1. Moderate depression

2. Having trouble making friends and feeling like you've lost your social skills.

3. When you were younger, it was different.

I'll give you my take on this from the perspective of an ordinary person.

1. I imagine you must have been in a lot of pain for many years with your depression. It's likely that this pain occupied your heart and time.

So you've been missing out on a big chunk of life, it seems.

2. Growing up is a process, and each stage is meaningful in its own way. Junior high, high school, and university are

Every experience is different. There are sports meets, conflicts, and disagreements with classmates—all part of life.

Think about all the details you might have overlooked.

They not only make up the fabric of your own life, but also the bonds of friendship, empathy, and memories.

It also includes being punished together by the teacher. You're facing pain together.

These are the moments when friendships are formed.

3. When you're in elementary school, everyone is a kid, so you play together with no particular purpose or selectivity. You can play together as long as there are people.

As we grow up, especially from the start of junior high school, we start to see more clearly how different people are.

There will be personal preferences and individual concerns. It's not just about how well you get along on the surface.

It all comes down to whether there's common ground and opportunities for connection between the two people.

In high school, you'll start to think more about things like choosing a subject, your hobbies, what you want to do after school and where you see yourself going in the future. It's a more detailed and personal stage.

In terms of emotions, from elementary school to junior high to high school...

Everyone's emotions will be more on the down low, with their own space and world.

It's not as apparent as it was when you were younger.

4. I don't think you've lost your social skills.

You just haven't found the right moment or approach.

As we grow up, our relationships need to evolve. You can't rush it.

We all have our own comfort zone when it comes to how close we want to be to the outside world.

Some people prefer to keep their relationships on a more general level. Others don't like to be too familiar.

Some people are just really enthusiastic, but they may just be socializing.

You want to get closer to your partner, and it takes time.

Maybe around the halfway point of the relationship, you feel like you've reached the limit in terms of closeness.

Maybe after spending some time together, you'll find that the other person is reluctant to open up.

If you hit it off, you might even become good friends.

Absolutely anything is possible.

Hello! I see your question and confusion. I'll answer from the following points.

You feel you can't interact normally with others, but this is not because of depression. It is just that because of long-term depression, taking medication and being in a solitary environment for a long time, you don't understand people or they don't understand you. You are unable to integrate and enjoy interacting with others. There is always privacy invasion and value exchange in relationships. You are probably not willing to let people know your state, so you are cautious in interactions. People with depression often have a low sense of self-worth. If you just rely on medication to maintain your state, you cannot change your depressed state of mind. To achieve change, you must start with yourself, connecting with others, helping others, caring about others, and enhancing your self-worth. With the help of doctors and psychological counseling, you will get out of depression.

You can't interact with others normally because you spent a long time with your mother when you were young. Instead of receiving love, you endured violence. You're unwilling to face the internal trauma. Your relationship with your mother largely determines your relationship with others. If you can't get close to your mother, you can't get close to others. This fear will hinder your relationships.

Good day, question asker. I am Gu Daoxi Feng Shoulu, your heart detective coach.

I'm truly sorry to hear about the OP's experience. I hope you'll allow me to offer my support and comfort in any way I can.

It has been observed that the questioner described two distinct periods in his life: one was during his elementary school years, when he was said to have had a positive social dynamic, and the other was at age ten, when he was living with his mother and reportedly endured a traumatic experience that led to depression years later.

Could the relationship with friends have become somewhat strained after the OP started living with his mother (during primary school)? Or was the initial impact of this on the OP, who had become depressed many years later, and the period he went through was actually not a problem?

Could you please tell me when you realized that you were troubled in this way? For example, moderate depression, for example, feeling like you don't like yourself, for example, struggling to connect with others, was there anything else in between that had an impact?

It might be helpful for the question asker to try to understand the deeper reasons behind the question, as this could help them to better understand themselves.

It might be helpful for the questioner to consider the following:

It seems that, in general, people don't have a particularly positive opinion of the OP. I wonder if we could clarify who exactly is meant by "basically" in this context. Has the OP been explicitly told that they are disliked?

It would be helpful to understand whether the questioner used some kind of reference to conclude that the other person doesn't like them. If it were possible to measure this quantitatively, it would be interesting to know how many people like and dislike the questioner.

Could you please clarify what the OP means when he says he can't get along with other people? It would also be helpful to understand what kind of social distance is difficult to maintain.

American anthropologist Dr. Edward Hall proposed a framework for understanding interpersonal distances, which he divided into four categories: public distance, social distance, personal distance, and intimate distance. One approach to navigating challenging interpersonal relationships could be to analyze which of these distances is more troubling.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that there is no such thing as a completely extroverted or introverted person. I once had a classmate with whom I had little in common. I always thought he was introverted, but then I realized that everyone has their own way of communicating, and it's important to find someone with whom you have a good connection.

It might be helpful for the original poster to try to give themselves a relatively objective standard of judgment in order to realize how to change.

It's important to recognize that adults and children often have different perceptions of what constitutes a good friend. Adults tend to consider a broader range of factors, often weighing the emotional and material value of a relationship. If a relationship lacks one or both of these aspects, it might be perceived as less robust. Children, on the other hand, may have a more straightforward and pure understanding of friendship, with the ability to play together being a key indicator.

It might be helpful to avoid labeling yourself and the feelings you're experiencing. If the other person doesn't have a close relationship with you, you could consider asking each other about the differences in the relationship. This could help you both look at the relationship more objectively.

It might be helpful to try to avoid absolutizing and catastrophizing. When we give ourselves a bad psychological hint, we may unconsciously prove that this label matches ourselves, thus ignoring what we can do to change the situation.

Perhaps it would be helpful to remind yourself that in the past, you may have felt too young and powerless to change, but that now, as you have grown up, you have the ability to say no to the hurt. It can be challenging to start saying no, but taking the first step can make it easier.

It might be helpful to try mindfulness. When we are determined to change, we may wish to consider seeking ways to help ourselves adjust, such as seeking help from a counselor or keeping an emotional diary. These can be useful ways to help us adjust our state.

You might find it helpful to read the following books: "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone," "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist," and "A Change of Heart."

I wish you the best!

It is unfortunate to learn that you have experienced such a situation.

However, it is fortunate that your condition has improved as a result of the medication.

It may require a significant investment of time and effort to regain one's typical social skills. The following suggestions may prove beneficial:

1. Reconstruction of confidence: Previous experiences may have resulted in a lack of confidence in one's social abilities. It is recommended to attempt to rebuild confidence through small successes, such as actively greeting others and participating in small gatherings.

2. It is advisable to proceed with caution when re-entering social situations. It is not advisable to attempt to integrate oneself into a large social circle immediately. Instead, it is recommended to begin by engaging in in-depth conversations with a friend and gradually expand one's social circle.

3. Develop a Hobby: Engaging in activities that align with one's interests facilitates the formation of connections with individuals who share similar interests, thereby enhancing one's confidence in social interactions.

4. Develop social skills: One may enhance their social abilities by perusing pertinent literature and participating in social skills training.

5. It is important to accept the current situation and recognize that recovery occurs at different rates for each individual. It is essential to allow oneself sufficient time to adjust gradually.

6. Seek professional assistance: In the event that the situation is deemed to be more serious, it may be advisable to seek the counsel of a qualified psychologist, who can provide more specific advice and support.

It is important to note that the process of recovering social skills is a gradual one that requires patience and persistence. You have already taken an important initial step, and it is likely that you will continue to improve with time. Should you require a supportive individual with whom to discuss your experiences, I am available to provide a listening ear and guidance.

I totally get where you're coming from. Those violent experiences you had as a child have really affected you, and it's made it tough for you to socialize.

I know this is a tough issue, but I just want you to know you're not alone. There are so many people out there who are going through similar things.

First, about the symptoms of moderate depression you mentioned, paroxetine, an antidepressant, can really help relieve those symptoms. Just be sure to follow your doctor's instructions, take the medicine on time, and return for regular checkups to ensure the effectiveness and safety of the medicine.

Second, I know it can take time and effort to restore social skills. I'm here to help! Here are some suggestions that may help:

Self-acceptance and self-awareness: Give yourself a break! It's okay to accept your past and current situation. And remember, these difficulties are caused by past experiences, not your own shortcomings. You are unique and have room for improvement and growth.

If you're struggling, it's okay to ask for help. You can start by talking to a psychologist, who can offer guidance and support as you work through past trauma and build your social skills.

It's time to start socializing in small groups! Start with your family and close friends, and then gradually expand your social circle. You can even choose to join some interest groups or activities to interact with like-minded people and gradually build trust and friendship!

It's always a good idea to learn new things, and social skills are no exception! You can pick up some great tips by reading books or taking courses on the topic. Learning how to communicate and interact with others is a great way to build confidence.

It's time to develop your self-confidence! Focus on your strengths and achievements to boost your sense of self-worth. And don't be afraid to face and accept feedback and suggestions from others. They'll help you better understand yourself and improve.

And finally, remember that regaining social skills is a gradual process that requires time and patience. You've got this! Don't be too hard on yourself and don't give up easily.

You've got this! Believe in your ability to overcome difficulties and pursue your own happiness and joy with bravery and joy.

Hello there!

Reading your description, I totally get how you're feeling.

First, you wrote in your description that you lived with your mother in an extremely violent environment when you were ten. Many years later, you became depressed. You're currently taking paroxetine, which is great! However, the fact that you are moderately depressed and currently rely on medication to maintain it, coupled with the fact that you grew up in an environment of extreme violence, can be deduced to have caused some problems.

1. Psychological impact

It's so sad to see children growing up in violent households. They often feel scared and insecure, and this insecurity can make them sensitive, lonely, irritable, and vulnerable. They may also develop psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

It can be really tough for kids growing up in violent households. They often have a hard time with their emotions, behaviors, and social skills. This can make it really challenging for them to fit in with their peers.

2. Impact on social skills

It's so sad to see children growing up in violent households often lacking social skills because they rarely have the chance to interact with the outside world. This isolation can lead to fear and mistrust of the outside world, which can have a negative impact on their social skills.

They may become introverted, withdrawn, and reticent, and have difficulty interacting with others. It's so sad to see these wonderful kids struggling in this way. It can also have a knock-on effect on their future careers, as they often don't work well with others and communicate poorly.

3. Behavioral impact It's so hard when you're growing up in a violent environment. It can really affect your behavior.

It's so sad when kids grow up in violent homes. They might learn to use violence to solve problems, which can lead to them adopting bad and impulsive behaviors in later life. They may become indifferent, ruthless, and cold, and cause harm to others.

It's so sad when this behavior causes people to lose friends and loved ones. It can even lead them to commit crimes.

4. Educational impact

It's so sad when kids grow up in violent households. They often don't get the education they need, which can make it hard for them to do well in school.

They may also lack self-confidence and self-esteem, which can make learning and growing more challenging.

Maybe right now, you feel like your ability to socialize has the biggest impact on you, and it's also affected others in some way.

Secondly, you wrote in your description: "I have lost the ability to socialize normally, which is manifested in the fact that basically no one likes me and I can't get along well with others." Socializing is an ability that can be learned, and I'm here to help you with that!

You just need to find the right attitude. It's not that no one likes you, it's just that you haven't found a good way to communicate. And communication is a form of social ability, too! What you need at this time is to find yourself. What is yourself? Well, it could be your hobbies, your interests, or anything else that makes you, you!

You know, the only way to find someone who likes you is to find yourself first. And then, you can slowly learn and exercise your skills.

You also mentioned in your description that you got along with everyone when you were in elementary school. That's so lovely to hear! When you're young, every child's mind is relatively simple and doesn't think too much. At that time, as long as you're happy and having fun, even every child will think that an animated clip is something to talk about together. However, as time goes by, people slowly grow up and their thoughts become less simple. So childhood memories are very precious.

I've got a few suggestions for you:

1. It's time to make a few changes! Let's start by adjusting your mentality and reducing your dependence on drugs.

2. Take social skills courses! When learning to socialize, it's also a great idea to learn communication skills. This will help you integrate more quickly into social circles.

3. Think about your hobbies and learn something that interests you. This is a great way to find a circle of your own! You'll have more topics to talk about and you'll meet more friends.

4. Socializing can take a little time to get the hang of. It's important to remember that it's not something you can do overnight. So, it's probably best to adjust your mentality a little bit.

We hope you find this content helpful! It's just a reference, though.

Hello! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

I'm so happy to hear that your depression has improved so much! I'm wondering if, in addition to medication, we've done some counseling as an adjuvant therapy? If we want to make some big, fundamental changes in our lives, adjust our cognitive structure, and improve our inner selves, we need to do some counseling as an adjuvant therapy. In addition, we also need to do some self-healing, such as regular emotional release, changing our minds, and accumulating a sense of accomplishment and pleasure.

I truly believe that when you're feeling good, your relationships with others will improve. When you love yourself first, it's only natural that more and more people will love you back.

I really want to help you, so here's my advice:

If you're going through psychological counseling, it's totally okay to talk to your counselor about how you're feeling. If you're not currently in counseling, it's a great idea to combine it with counseling to help yourself.

Depression can be caused by a number of different things, including social, physical and psychological factors. While medication can help to make you feel better physically, it's also important to look at the psychological and social aspects. The best way to do this is to seek help from a professional counselor or join a supportive group.

Psychological counseling can be a great way to help you release internal repression, channel and transform emotions, adjust our irrational perceptions, establish positive thinking patterns, enhance inner strength, and ultimately achieve personal growth. These effects can't be achieved with medication, so it's really helpful to combine the two!

2. And don't forget to use some effective self-help methods to heal yourself!

And, of course, we also need to use some effective self-help methods in our lives to heal ourselves. I've got two books here that I think you'll find really helpful. They correspond to the two therapies.

I'd highly recommend checking out "Cognitive Therapy: Foundations and Applications" and "The Eight-Week Mindfulness Journey: Freedom from Depression and Emotional Stress."

We can make a big difference in our emotional state by adjusting our perceptions. By identifying our automatic thoughts and unreasonable core beliefs, we can see what thoughts affect our emotions. Then, we can improve our emotions by changing the way we think—that is, changing our minds! For example, you might feel that you are not socially competent and that no one likes you. This is your belief, but it's not necessarily true. Ask yourself, is it really true that no one likes you?

Of course not! You're going to be just fine.

Then we can adjust our own perceptions. For example, we can change them to: "Although my social skills have declined somewhat now, and I don't have as many good friends for the time being, I believe that through my learning and growth, I can definitely improve my social skills and I can also truly make real good friends... Another example is if you define this as you are not good enough or not worthy of being liked, then you can adjust your beliefs to: "Although I am not very good at socializing now and there are not many people who like me, it does not mean that I am not good enough. I still accept and understand this real me, and I love myself!"

We can also use mindfulness cognitive therapy to help ourselves accumulate inner strength and improve our emotional quotient. It's a great idea to make two lists for yourself: one of pleasure (things you do that make you happy and enjoy), and one of accomplishment (things you do that don't necessarily make you happy, but that fill you with a sense of power and satisfaction when you've finished). Every day, pick an appropriate number of things from these two lists to do. The more you do these things when you're feeling down, the more effective they will be in improving your emotional quotient. And when your emotional quotient goes up, you'll have more and more inner strength, and you'll have the courage to socialize, to create your new social circle, to meet new people, and to attract those who really like you.

3. It's okay if you don't have good social relationships right now. It doesn't mean it'll always be this way. As you start to feel better and have more energy, and as you learn to love yourself more and more, you'll find that you have more and more friends around you. We all need to take care of ourselves first and learn to love ourselves enough.

It's so important to remember that the external world is a reflection of our inner world. When you feel like basically no one likes you, it's because you don't like yourself either. It's totally normal to crave other people's approval because what we lack internally, we will look for externally. It's so common to care so much about whether other people like us precisely because we don't like ourselves enough.

So, the most important thing is not to worry about whether others like you. Instead, focus on becoming the kind of person who likes themselves.

When you really like yourself, appreciate yourself, and recognize yourself from the bottom of your heart, your inner world is full and you have no lack. You'll find you're not so concerned about what the outside world gives you. At that time, more and more people will like you because you'll exude a confident radiance that attracts similarly "high energy" friends. When your energy is low, you'll attract low energy friends. Everyone wants the other person to give them energy, but no one has the strength to give it away, so they get caught in a bad cycle. So, love yourself, care for yourself, appreciate yourself, and recognize yourself, and your world will change dramatically!

I hope this is helpful for you! Sending you lots of love and best wishes!