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Incentive
#Self-improvement #Development planning #Meaning of life
When I am at a low point in life and feel very lost, I am anxious and unsure of the best course of action.
I am confident that I will be fine, but I feel guilty about the wasted efforts. I also feel guilty about my lack of interest in him, despite his suitability. If I accept him and marry him now, I can use the excuse of learning to take care of the children to temporarily not have to go to work. He also agrees. I also like to be a housewife and raise children, and I can get rid of my mother's strong constraints and live my own life.
If I decline, I will have to address the challenges of securing employment and navigating the demands of a professional environment, while also contending with my mother's expectations regarding marriage and social engagements. I anticipate that my energy levels may be constrained, potentially limiting my ability to prioritize exercise and weight loss.
While I believe that everything will ultimately be fine, I do experience feelings of guilt. I also feel a sense of guilt regarding the investment of time and energy into a relationship that, while potentially suitable, ultimately did not lead to a positive outcome.
If I accept the proposal and proceed with the marriage, I can utilize the opportunity to focus on childrearing, temporarily relieving the pressure of pursuing a career. My partner is supportive of this decision. I am drawn to the role of a homemaker and mother, seeking to navigate a life free from the constraints of my mother's expectations.
If I decline, I will have to address the challenges of securing employment and maintaining a work schedule, while also navigating my mother's expectations regarding marriage and social engagements. I will lack the motivation to prioritize exercise and weight loss, resulting in a regression to my previous circumstances. If I fail to seize this opportunity, the subsequent outcomes will be unfavorable. Even if I succeed in losing weight, the prospects for achieving meaningful progress remain uncertain.
I am experiencing a sense of uncertainty and confusion regarding my current situation. The combination of unemployment, marital status, and other personal challenges is creating a significant amount of distress. I am unsure if my decisions are aligned with the best course of action.
Jia Ling's journey of weight loss and self-discovery is an inspiring example. However, I am currently facing a significant obstacle. I am uncertain if I should continue with my current approach.
I am unable to proceed at this time.
Kindly provide a reply. I empathize with your situation.
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#Infidelity #Marriage Management #Before and After Birth
During the course of this pregnancy, I have become increasingly suspicious of my husband's professional interactions with a female colleague. I am experiencing a great deal of stress as a result of this situation.
Due to the stress and anxiety associated with the early stages of pregnancy, I had to deal with a miscarriage scare. However, I was able to make it through the second trimester and stabilize.
I attempted to re-establish a connection with my husband, but he was not receptive to the idea. I even had several dreams in which I believed he was having an affair with another woman. I began monitoring his phone records.
I also discovered that he was engaged in an extramarital relationship with a female colleague in the office. He referred to her by her nickname, and she called him "brother." I also learned that he invited this female colleague to dinner, stating that he was accompanied by two other male colleagues. However, prior to our marriage, we had an agreement that I needed to be informed in advance if a female colleague was invited to dinner. I felt uneasy when I learned about these things, but I assumed they were in the past and decided not to pursue the matter further. I requested that he be mindful of the way he addressed each other, using each other's full names. After that, I was preoccupied with work for about ten days.
Upon occasional checking of his phone, it was discovered that they were in frequent contact, almost every day after work. When I inquired with my husband, he stated that it was merely work-related arrangements due to last-minute changes.
On one occasion, while en route to the hospital with me, he received another call from this woman. They continued to address each other by their first names and both identified me as their sister-in-law. The woman's voice was somewhat high-pitched, and she advised my husband to exercise caution at the hospital. I informed him that I was not comfortable with the way he communicated with people and requested that he stop referring to me as his sister-in-law.
My husband informed me that this woman addresses everyone in this way, calling them brother and sister non-stop. I then asked whether there was another man in the office.
My husband stated that she seldom refers to him as "brother" because the male colleague's wife is situated in the adjacent office, and she is hesitant to do so.
I was extremely displeased to learn of this.
Subsequently, a significant disagreement occurred at home. I took action to convey my displeasure and requested that he remove the woman's WeChat account. I recorded all phone calls to ascertain the root cause of the issue.
In light of my strong response, my husband concurred and pledged to refrain from using WeChat going forward. All phone calls will be recorded.
Please change the title to the job title or full name. The video can be conducted at any time.
However, when I recently requested a video chat with him, he became visibly impatient and I lost my temper. Another video chat revealed that a female colleague had left her pink quilt on the sofa in their office.
I have the distinct impression that something is amiss, and my husband says that there is nothing he can do if I ignore him daily. I believe this woman lacks self-respect.
Is there another motive? There have been no recent phone calls.
The other day, I finally had a chance to speak with him on the phone. He informed me that it would only take a minute, but he forgot to turn on the recorder. He promptly called me to let me know. I have my doubts about this. It seems he may be withholding information from me and attempting to deceive me.
I am now requesting that he find a way to change offices and that all future phone calls be recorded. He has agreed to this.
However, I no longer trust him. At times, I feel inexplicably resentful towards him.
I have yet to determine the best course of action regarding the marriage. While my husband remains proactive in managing household finances and chores, and the baby's movements bring me joy, I feel particularly relieved about the prospect of divorce. Being bogged down in these trivial matters on a daily basis is mentally and emotionally exhausting, and my mood is also erratic.
What is the best course of action in this situation? Should I simply disregard the issue and move on?
Should I contact the woman directly? If so, how should I proceed?
"
Dear Newly Pregnant Mother,
As a new mother-to-be, you will undoubtedly experience a unique physical sensation during this time. It is natural to feel a sense of joy and happiness.
I would like to inform you that, in most cases, pregnancy is caused by postpartum syndrome, which often leads to postpartum depression. Hormonal imbalances during pregnancy can cause emotional instability. This is a natural process that every pregnant woman experiences. It is important to remember that you are not alone in this journey and that your emotions are subject to change. Learning to regulate your breathing and emotions can help you maintain a positive outlook, which is essential for your baby's well-being.
It is important to note that expressing anger towards your husband can potentially lead to premature labor. Additionally, you have mentioned that your husband has already made significant concessions on your behalf. Despite this, he still holds a deep affection for you. Between him and his colleagues, and between you, he consistently chooses you. However, despite being chosen, you still feel uneasy. This unease may originate from within, potentially stemming from your upbringing. During childhood, you may have felt a lack of love from your mother or father, leading you to seek out excessive amounts of affection. As you matured, this internal belief became even more pronounced, particularly during hormonal fluctuations. It is essential to remind yourself of your inherent value and safety. Your value and safety do not depend on your boyfriend's attention. One effective method to achieve this is to maintain a pregnancy diary. This will help you understand the experience of becoming a new mother. By focusing on your own needs and feelings, you will discover a new perspective.
If you suspect your husband of infidelity during your pregnancy, you are not alone. Many couples experience a period of abstinence due to the physical limitations associated with pregnancy. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and suspicion. However, if you trust your husband and provide him with a sense of security, you can mitigate the impact of these feelings.
In other words, the more you express distrust in your husband and the more you attempt to uncover evidence of infidelity, the more he will perceive a lack of trust in him. He will also experience emotional distress. When he has no outlet for this emotion, he may seek it elsewhere. Therefore, it would be prudent for a woman in this situation to be more docile, demonstrate greater trust in her husband, and offer him more encouragement, thereby guiding the situation in the desired direction.
If you have substantial evidence and remain convinced of your position, our legal team will advocate for you. We hope that every pregnant mother is happy and blessed, and that your baby grows up healthy and happy.
That will conclude my remarks for now. I wish you well, and I extend my best wishes to you and your family.
Comments
This situation sounds incredibly challenging and painful. I need to sort out my feelings and decide on the best way forward.
I understand you're feeling betrayed and hurt, and it's important to address these issues directly with your husband. Communication is key in any relationship.
It seems like trust has been severely damaged. Perhaps seeking counseling together could help rebuild that trust and work through this difficult time.
The fact that he agreed to change his behavior shows he values your concerns. However, actions speak louder than words, and seeing consistent changes over time will be crucial for rebuilding trust.
You're facing a very complex emotional turmoil. It might be beneficial to talk to a therapist or counselor yourself to process these feelings and gain clarity on what you want from your marriage.