As I watch my elderly relatives grow older, I feel more guilty towards them. What should I do?

Hello, question asker.

My name is Kelly Shui.

[Seeing the older members of my family grow old makes me feel even more sorry for them. I need to know what I should do.]

Your kindness makes me worry about my older family members and feel guilty.

Let's talk about it.

[About life]

You said you're 20 now. Since childhood, you've been told you have to study hard.

I can feel your pressure and the expectations of adults. I also feel the pressure of shouldering such expectations.

Tell me, what do you think about when you see your elders growing old?

Is it because your elders are aging?

Or do you feel guilty because you can't do anything at the moment?

If you're a student, you should definitely do something you can do at home.

Get a part-time job yourself during the winter or summer holidays. Or help the adults with some household chores.

We all know that birth, aging, and death are universal experiences that all humans share.

We are ordinary people. We worry about ourselves and our loved ones, and I have been in your shoes.

The process of thinking is a process of growth. First, accept all your current emotions, take care of yourself, and take good care of yourself. Then, think about what you can do now.

For example, go for a daily run. A healthy body is a capital that you can walk on in the future.

Read a book every week to enrich your world.

For example, think about your hobbies and what you want to do in the future.

If you woke up tomorrow and forgot all these words of wisdom, and were a brand new person, what would you do?

Life is dynamic. We can look back at our past selves at the age of 25 or 30 and know we've done our best. There's no room for regret.

[About the future]

You said you don't know if it's just adolescent rebellion, but you also said you felt like a different person when you got to high school and didn't want to do your homework. You're very aware of this.

You don't want to be someone who learns for themselves.

Instead of being required and expected. In junior high school, we began to grow and develop an awareness of independence, which was completely dependent on our parents in elementary school and kindergarten.

You are a person with your own ideas. That part of your ability or potential has been suppressed.

As the existentialist Erving G. Kline once said, he left his home environment because he wanted to read biographies in the library.

When you see your past self "muddle-headed," you can also think about what you are willing to do at this moment. You tell that self what to do.

You say you feel your learning ability has become very poor now that you are in college. Start studying now and you will still have the ability and method to learn.

It is a simple fact that the brain deteriorates if it is not used for a long time. The more it is used, the more agile it becomes. This is something that even a middle school teacher can tell you.

We can and will start changing our habits.

1: For example, you can and should complete the necessary tasks, such as whether to take a shower or not and whether to eat or not, without hesitation.

2: Give yourself a week to play seriously and experience what it feels like.

3: Let it out. Cry. Regret why you didn't study hard when you had the chance, but did the opposite.

Now get moving!

4: Get a counselor to help you figure out what your anxious, depressed, and dejected self wants.

Removing the obstacles in front of you will reduce internal conflict.

You want to help yourself and are willing to come here, so keep asking questions.

Read "The Plastic Me" and "Inferiority Complex and Transcendence."