At 22, having been with my boyfriend for six years, I discovered he had been cheating for three years, and I am deeply heartbroken.

I've actually had something similar happen before, but I didn't really talk to him for a long time. During the time I was with him, he was always video chatting with other women. I didn't know at first, but it hurt when I found out. He meant to say that he loved me very much, but there were always women around him.

At first, I was really hurt because I felt like I had given 70% to him, and saying 100% was a bit much. Then he kept saying he loved me, but I just didn't feel the love, even though he had liked me since we were kids and had never married.

How did I get over it? Well, I got through it, but I couldn't get over it. At first I cried every day, and I was afraid my mother would find out. I know how you feel! How did I finally get over it? I saw the music video for a Hong Kong song, and I really recommend it to you. It's called "Narcosis" and it's sung by Wu Ruoxi.

I really think you should watch the music video. The first time I watched it, I felt so sad. It hurt so much. But after watching it more than ten times, it didn't hurt as much. I don't know why that was, but it was really interesting to see how my feelings changed.

I listened to it every day after that. The lyrics are also very well written. I couldn't forget that scene without watching the music video. I think this song by Wu Ruoxi has the power to heal wounds. I connected with the character in her music video and felt like I was the person she was acting. The plot is probably something like this:

At the beginning, the heroine discovers that her boyfriend is cheating on her with another woman. The heroine and the hero are actually very happy in their relationship. When the heroine confronts him, "How could you do this to me?," he runs away. But the man chases after her and embraces her. He knows that she is not at fault, and his girlfriend keeps crying. He holds her and comforts her, but the heroine just keeps crying and can't stop.

Later on, the male protagonist was forgiven, and the female protagonist gradually changed as she got to know him better. She was no longer as sweet and caring as she once was, but she just couldn't let go. The male protagonist also realized that no matter what he did, he could never regain the feeling he had once had for her.

Later, the heroine thought back on all the little things that had happened and realized that she'd never been able to let go. Later, the man left and sent her a message. He told her that he and the girl were actually a couple and that she was his first love. They'd broken up over a trivial matter and both regretted it. So she finally realized that she'd lost after all.

It's like my boyfriend hasn't physically cheated, but he has already cheated mentally. He thinks I can't let go, and he is self-righteous, thinking that I won't let go as long as he has money. It's so sad, but he has already cheated mentally. There is a particularly good line in the lyrics: "You know the bottom line of morality, and I don't pick on you for all kinds of things, except for cheating, setting fire to the garden of happiness."

I don't remember those stains, but I care about you so much! Even though I don't love you as much as I used to, I just can't let go. We're used to thinking we're right, and even after knowing the other person is wrong, we're unwilling to let each other go. This isn't love; it's unwillingness.

I want to tell you that you will get through it, but you really have to know how serious the consequences are and that staying with him is just a waste of time with no outcome. The result is that we don't want marriage, but loyalty, otherwise what's the point?

My dear, don't torture yourself anymore. Watch the music video for this song. I really hope it helps!

Hello!

I'm sorry you're heartbroken. You've stuck with him for years. If I were you, I'd be disappointed too. The more he treats you badly, the easier it will be to leave.

It's hard to bear. The pain makes it hard to sleep. The unbreakable love and people from the past are teaching us to move forward. My dear, all the past that you think you can't get over will pass. In the endless boredom, confusion, pressure, and exhaustion, don't be discouraged or slack off.

I don't want to be with him. There are two types of people: those who love themselves more than others, and those who love others more than themselves. I hope you can love yourself, then love others, and then love the world. You can do your own thing, and life will give you what you need. At 22, remember to live a good life.

What matters is what you gain from it. You should grow and learn, be able to start over, stop losses, and help others. It's never too late. You should be loved and independent.

I think you'd really benefit from reading about the breakup between Zhao Pan'er and Ouyang Xu in Menghua Lu. It might give you some strength.

First, it's important to remember that men only cheat once, while women cheat countless times.

It's totally understandable to feel like you really clicked with him when you were younger. It's natural to have fond memories of that time. But, he's changed, and it's okay to admit that things are different now.

It's okay to accept this fact. It's not that you're not good-looking or that you're not good enough. It's just that he's changed and is no longer the person you loved.

Secondly, I know breakups are tough, but I promise you they'll get easier with time.

I know ending a relationship can be really tough.

It's totally normal to want to withdraw and to feel like you don't want to be with him anymore. But as long as you want to break up, it will still be very painful. This has nothing to do with the person who has let you down completely, but it is really a shame to say goodbye to the past.

But don't worry, the pain of parting will eventually pass, and time will heal your wounds. You've got this!

It's okay if you're heartbroken every day and crying bitter tears. You have every right to mourn the beautiful love you once had.

Once you've had a good cry, dry your tears and get back to your life.

And third, one day, you'll be so happy you made the choice to separate today.

Zhao Pan'er also went through a lot when she broke up with Ouyang Xu. But when she was about to marry Gu Qianfan, she said, "I'm really grateful to Ouyang Xu for not marrying me."

You'll thank him for not cherishing you and for leaving you one day in the future, too.

I hope your heartache gets a little bit better each day, and that you feel better really soon. I really hope you meet someone wonderful very soon!

Good day, my name is Jingyi, and I am a licensed psychological counselor.

From your description, it is evident that you have disclosed your genuine sentiments and placed your trust in this relationship. However, you have been betrayed, and the mere thought of your partner's infidelity causes significant distress.

As you have indicated, you are currently experiencing distress. This has led you to question the nature of his affection. Is it possible for love to cause such pain?

Such doubts also result in emotional distress.

In this situation, it is unlikely that you will be able to make a decision based on your own insights alone. Regardless of your decision, it is probable that the circumstances of your relationship have already caused you distress.

Given the circumstances, I believe that the pain you are experiencing will have a detrimental impact on your overall well-being. It is evident that the relationship has already caused you significant distress.

Revisiting the details with him will undoubtedly lead to further distress.

For the time being, it would be prudent to focus on self-care. Given the pain caused by the other person's actions,

It would be prudent to invest a little more of the affection you would otherwise direct towards yourself. It is important to take care of yourself.

You may feel that self-care is an additional burden in light of past experiences and the long-term impact they have had on your well-being.

It would be beneficial to pursue an interest or passion. Allocating time and energy to this endeavor could yield positive results.

It is recommended that you treat yourself in a way that improves your overall well-being and comfort level.

It is important to understand that relationships take time to settle. It is essential to prioritize self-love above all else. With regard to relationships, it is advisable to adopt a wait-and-see approach.

Perhaps at some future date, when you are in a more stable frame of mind, you will be in a position to make the decision you desire.

Let us anticipate the day when you will follow your heart and lead a life that makes you happy. The world and I support you.

Hello. From your description, it is evident that you feel betrayed. This has caused you to feel puzzled and a little resentful, and of course, there is also the grievance of having been let down after giving so much. You want to extricate yourself quickly, but now you are unable to stop. I understand that it is not easy to talk about this, but you still came here for help. Are you willing to give yourself the encouragement you need?

It is important to accept the past and focus on the present.

I understand that you are likely replaying every moment of the past six years in your mind. The positive and negative experiences from the past six years are not easily forgotten, which may be a significant reason why you are unable to move on from them. You may also be questioning why you did not discover the infidelity sooner.

It is important to acknowledge the feelings associated with being cheated on, including doubt and anger. These emotions are valid and should be accepted. However, it is also essential to recognize that they are rooted in the past and should not be allowed to hinder progress. Accepting the past and its impact on the present is crucial, but dwelling on it too deeply is unproductive.

In the context of a romantic relationship, it is important to set and maintain clear boundaries.

It is evident from your descriptions that you perceive him as "loving." However, your doubts about his capacity to love you enough to cheat on you for three years suggest that you have an internal standard for love and its maintenance. It is possible that the beauty you once experienced impaired your ability to think clearly and communicate it to the other person in a timely manner. It is now time to express these feelings.

It would be beneficial to evaluate the past six years and establish a clear set of boundaries to protect you through this challenging experience.

Even in the event of significant external disappointment, it is important to maintain self-love.

You have indicated that you are inclined to self-punishment as a result of the actions of others. I believe this is an unhealthy coping mechanism that you would be better off without.

I believe that your family and closest friends would not want you to be in this situation. If you feel that you cannot continue in this way, I would like to suggest that you consider seeking further assistance. Please take some time to reflect on what else you can do to calm yourself down and then take action.

To be let down is to be unloved and unappreciated by others. However, we must take responsibility for our own well-being. When you are in a position where you feel helpless and life becomes difficult to maintain, it is important to seek help from a professional counselor. By taking care of yourself, you can ensure that you are in a position to weather the storm.

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Hello, question asker.

My name is Intern Meow, and I work as a listening therapist at Yixinli.

You were together for six years, and your boyfriend was unfaithful to you for three of those years. You are currently 22 years old, and you were 16 years old when you started dating.

It could be said that your relationship has spent the late adolescent years together and entered the early adult years together.

A 16-year-old girl is just beginning to fall in love and is full of expectations and dreams about love. She is unreserved in her approach to relationships, with no doubts or jealousies. When a girl reaches adulthood, she is more mature than boys and her desire for love becomes more mature and rational. She may also have dreams about marriage in the future.

It is often observed that young men in their twenties are physically mature and have developed strong physiques. This is also a period of exuberant hormone secretion. It is not uncommon for young men in their twenties to be curious about the opposite sex, which can manifest as a desire to "attract bees and butterflies" in many different settings.

For those who have invested six years of their youth in a relationship, such betrayal can undoubtedly be a source of sadness. It is natural to experience a desire to separate, and it is not uncommon to feel an unwillingness to let go of the emotional investment and accept the situation.

It is often the case that the more one has invested in a relationship, the longer it may take to come to terms with the end of it.

After you choose to break up, it is not uncommon to experience three distinct phases: a cooling-off period, an analysis period, and a rebuilding period.

It would be beneficial to allow for a calm period after a recent breakup.

During this period, our emotions may be somewhat unstable, and we may find ourselves expressing frustration with various things, feeling a sense of injustice, and experiencing profound sadness. In such moments, we may even feel that staying together is the only option, even if our partner has been unfaithful.

It might also be helpful to consider asking him why.

It would be beneficial to allow ourselves to experience our emotions fully so that we can begin to recover.

It may be helpful to take some time to reflect on the relationship when our emotions have calmed down.

It is worth noting that psychology has identified a phenomenon called the Zygmunt effect, which suggests that people tend to recall unfinished experiences with greater clarity.

The original goal of the relationship was to get married, but unfortunately, it was suddenly interrupted before that could happen. As a result, the process of the relationship will replay in your mind like a TV drama.

At this time, we can reflect on our actions in this relationship and consider whether there might have been a more constructive approach.

How might we avoid a similar situation in the future?

The rebuilding period is a time for us to reflect on who we are and to rebuild ourselves.

After the end of a relationship, it is important to work through the emotions that come with it. This can involve finding ways to move on from the trauma of the breakup, reconnecting with your true self, and rekindling the dreams you once had. It is also an opportunity to reflect on your life goals and make choices that align with your heart's desires. Ultimately, it is about living the life you truly want.

Psychologist Chen Haixian said, "Intimacy can be a worthwhile adventure. While all adventure stories involve danger, it's important to recognize that the danger itself isn't the point. Rather, it's the growth that the protagonist achieves through these dangers that is most valuable."

Even if we have experienced pain in a relationship, there is still the possibility of growth. The road ahead may be long, and we may encounter people who are better suited to us. But will we be able to remain by the side of the person we love at that time?

Dear question asker, I am honored to answer your question. After reading your description of these events, I can see that you are currently experiencing a great deal of pain. It is clear that your boyfriend of six years has been unfaithful to you for three years. This is not only a betrayal of your trust, but also an insult to your intelligence.

I'm afraid that it may be challenging to simply move on from this situation. You placed your trust in your boyfriend and invested a great deal of effort into the relationship. When he chose to cheat on you, it caused you significant pain. Given the level of effort you had invested, he may have felt that you would be reluctant to end the relationship, even if he were to be caught. This may have reinforced his sense of security.

It's never too late to mend fences. Having discovered his actions, it would be wise to stop the damage in time and shift more time and energy to the present and how to inspire ourselves for the future. After all, life goes on, and at 22, it's not too late for you to end this unhappy relationship. Trust between people depends on the temptation of cheating and the comparison between being punished for rebellion. People like to weigh the pros and cons. In this process, it is obvious that the punishment for betraying you is lower than the temptation of cheating. When you understand this truth, you should understand that no matter how good a relationship is, there must be certain constraints.

The decision of whether or not to use it is another matter entirely. Learning from your mistakes is not a bad thing for you, and it may become an important reference experience for your future romantic and marital relationships.

I am Happy Dating 1983. I hope you have a wonderful day!