At 25, I'm getting sick of who I am and lose my temper for no reason.

Hello! From your description, I can see some of your current troubles, but I'm here to help! Before discussing the problem, if you allow, I would like to give you a big hug first, hoping to give you some warmth and support ?

I'm so excited to hear more about your recent experiences! It sounds like you've been going through a lot. I'm here to help you work through it all. You mentioned that you've been feeling increasingly frustrated with yourself, and that your husband is very supportive, but you're feeling insecure. It's also important to note that you've been having some intense moments with your child. These experiences can be overwhelming, and it's natural to feel a range of intense emotions. It's clear that you're seeking guidance and support to navigate these challenges. I'm here to help you understand your feelings and work towards a positive resolution.

It's tough to explain what's going on in this situation in a simple way, but one thing is clear: these feelings are causing you more stress, making you "more and more irritable," and even affecting your sleep. The good news is that you can start changing things by reducing the stress caused by these feelings!

When you feel like exploding, take a deep breath and remember that things are not as bad as you think. You can do this! Take a few more deep breaths and then take the next step. You'll get through this!

This will take time, but it'll be worth it! You'll just need to find the right strategies for you. If you don't see much change after making adjustments on your own, you might as well seek help from a counselor.

I'm so excited to share my personal views with you! They're just a starting point, but I hope they'll be a helpful reference for you. Take care of yourself!

Good day. I am the source of peace of mind.

I am 25 years old and have been experiencing a gradual decline in self-esteem. I have a tendency to lose my temper for no apparent reason and often feel irritable. My husband is kind and supportive, yet I am increasingly insecure. I often feel that divorce is the only option, as there is little to hold on to. I am tired of life and feel bored.

From your description, I can discern the pain, confusion, helplessness, and self-blame you are experiencing.

Unexplained outbursts of anger. Sometimes the "unexplained" we feel may not be "unexplained" at all, but we may be unaware of or overlooking the underlying factors. For example, a certain need of your own that has not been met?

Please feel free to consider this matter in more depth if you wish.

Your husband is a supportive partner, but he is exhibiting signs of increasing insecurity. I am unaware of the duration of your marriage.

Please indicate the date this feeling of insecurity began. Is it related to your husband's unconscious verbal behavior?

I am unaware of your employment status. If you are a stay-at-home mother, how many years have you been in this role?

Please advise as to the child's age and whether he requires your full care.

You have indicated that you feel insecure. Could you please elaborate on what you mean by that? Is it related to financial matters?

Please specify whether the issue is psychological or physical.

Please describe the nature of the thoughts that have been passed on to you.

"I also frequently engage in harsh physical discipline with my children, and I do not experience any sense of remorse. I often tell myself that I must be a positive role model for my children, but as soon as they make a mistake, I find myself resorting to verbal reprimands."

Please describe the circumstances under which you would be likely to lose control and physically discipline your child. What were the specific reasons for your child's misbehavior?

Please describe the incident in detail, including how your child reacted.

Please describe your husband's attitude and response.

"I'm experiencing a high level of fatigue and a desire for a divorce. I'm also experiencing suicidal ideation, insomnia, and a general sense of fear, though I'm unsure of the specific source of this fear."

I am unaware of the duration of this situation. Could you kindly elaborate on your typical work-life balance, and whether you prefer to interact with people on a regular basis?

Please indicate whether your preference for spending more time at home is due to a lack of desire to go out, a fear of doing so, or a resistance to it.

Have you attempted to implement any strategies to improve your emotional state? For instance, have you consulted with your spouse or other family members for assistance?

Please contact your local hospital for an appointment.

From the information provided, it is evident that there is a lack of clarity. Nevertheless, given your current circumstances, it is recommended that you pursue professional psychological assistance with your husband.

Should the physical discomfort become more severe, you may wish to consider seeking treatment from a psychiatrist.

From the information provided, it is evident that you have a supportive family environment, with the love, support, and companionship of your family members. I am confident that with the right treatment, your condition will improve.

Hello question asker,

I'm sending you a hug from afar.

I dislike myself. I lose my temper for no reason. My husband is good to me, but I am insecure.

Dear, we can express sadness in other ways now. How do you feel? What makes you sad?

We can express ourselves and understand our thoughts through writing.

"I don't feel pain when I beat my children. I tell myself I have to treat them well, but I yell at them when they do wrong. I want to stay married, but I'm tired of life."

A few years ago, I was also very irritable and acted up a lot. My family was nice to me, but I still acted up. I didn't love this family or want to stay in this place forever. I felt this was the result of being busy for so long. I was angry and depressed. I also yelled at my child and used verbal violence. I especially couldn't stand it when my child cried.

Sometimes, I hit her when she cries.

I don't know if you're in the same situation. You don't like to communicate, keep thoughts to yourself, and suppress them. We'll let our partners or close ones understand what I've been through.

There's a term in psychology called "reverse transference."

Projection is when we attribute our own feelings and thoughts to others. Projective identification is when we attribute certain feelings or traits to others that we can't accept.

We project our own feelings onto our partner and then act like they're doing something wrong.

How we interact with our loved ones when we're young affects our relationships as adults. This approach comes from childhood experiences and is a way of protecting ourselves.

Love

I don't know when I'll lose my temper and cut someone with a knife. I tell myself not to get a knife, but if I hold it, I'll get used to it and regret it. But when my temper comes, I can't help it. What should I do?

I often can't sleep, so I listen to music until dawn. I'm afraid to sleep alone. I don't know what I'm afraid of. My temper is getting worse. I lose my temper with my child. What's wrong with me?

You want to get better. You may not feel pain when you beat your child, but we know why we do it. We also look at what has happened to us. Why am I so unhappy?

Dear, When our children are young, we can feel helpless without help. Take time for yourself. Try to accept things you don't want to. I know this is hard. Listen to your thoughts. Understand why you're angry. What do you want?

If not now, when?

Dear, if we can, we can get professional help to understand our situation. We explore our inner selves.

We should affirm ourselves and realize that our powerlessness is temporary. We will gradually feel more comfortable through other means. We are all on the path of understanding ourselves.

Good day. One mind, one world, and I love you.

Good morning! Let's take it slow today.

From your description, I can sense a strong sense of self-depreciation and low self-worth. I would suspect that you may be suffering from depression/more-and-more-people-suffer-from-postpartum-depression-what-causes-postpartum-depression-4777.html" target="_blank">postpartum depression without knowing it, but there is no need to worry!

I'm going to share some recent statistics with you that I think you'll find really interesting! Did you know that 1 in 5 women suffer from depression after giving birth? That's a lot of women! And it's not just after giving birth, either. 63% of women have suffered from postpartum depression, and 20% of women have suffered from depression during pregnancy. That's a lot of women again! And it's not just women who are affected. 40% of family members are indifferent towards those suffering from postpartum depression, and 13% of family members think that they are being melodramatic and even sarcastic.

I'm not sure how old your child is, but I'm excited to find out! And I'm not sure if you're a full-time mother, but I'm sure you're doing an amazing job!

For a woman, pregnancy and childbirth can lead to some amazing changes in our social and family status, as well as breastfeeding and new family relationships! These changes can sometimes be a bit overwhelming, but they are all major triggers for postpartum depression.

The good news is that you can overcome postpartum depression! The clinical characteristics of postpartum depression are the same as those of depression, including prolonged depressed mood, irritability and sadness, reduced social interaction, low self-esteem, increased feelings of life meaninglessness, insomnia or fatigue, loss of appetite and libido, and in severe cases, a tendency to self-harm or commit suicide. The thought of harming your child is also a major manifestation of postpartum depression. These are not your faults, and we don't need to blame ourselves so much.

The good news is that you can get help right away! Go to the hospital's psychiatric department for diagnosis and treatment. The sooner you receive treatment, the better the outcome. You'll also get psychological counseling to help you understand why you're feeling this way and relieve your sense of guilt.

Good morning, I came across your question while walking this morning and was moved to respond. I'm unsure of the nature of the trauma you've experienced that has prevented you from engaging with the topic of acceptance and anger.

Each of these stages, including marriage, pregnancy, and childbirth, presents unique challenges and potential risks for postpartum depression. New challenges can lead to new trauma, and underlying this new trauma may be a serious injury from one's past that has not been adequately addressed.

In considering the topic of acceptance, it is important to assess the extent to which personal growth may have been hindered by feelings such as fatigue, laziness, lack of intelligence, rigidity, obsessiveness, indifference, poor health, obesity, ugliness, self-worthlessness, and lack of attractiveness. When the child acts as a mirror, presenting a clear and comprehensive picture of an unaccepted aspect of oneself, it is essential to recognize the underlying issues that require attention.

To whom are you directing your anger? The birth of a child often reveals aspects of ourselves that we would prefer not to acknowledge.

This is the fundamental nature of the subject of anger. When there is a discrepancy between our perception of the world and reality, our mind becomes angry.

Anger is a form of energy that arises from a feeling of injustice and is a motivating factor that prompts people to take action. The action (scolding the child) may be external and give the impression that the anger has dissipated, as the action transforms the energy.

However, unless that action is motivated by love, it is not conducive to healing.

Anger is not the antithesis of love; rather, it is the manifestation of love in a distorted manner. Indifference, on the other hand, represents the polar opposite of love. When we cease to care, love dissipates, and a part of us dies.

Anger is the energy of love. Our actions are driven by love for the other person, and when that love causes pain, we create a karmic seed. This reaction will only stop when we choose to revisit the situation for the sake of love, not to violate the other person.

Disappointment occurs when expectations are not met. Having expectations increases the likelihood of disappointment. By eliminating expectations and assumptions, we become neutral and do not project our view of the world onto everything.

It is encouraging to note that the more demanding challenges we face in life, the stronger we become. This is because our souls have chosen this path for a reason. Your current challenge is that you are underestimating the extent of your physical exhaustion and the sudden shifts that come with it.

It is not uncommon to feel as though there is no control and no way out. However, this is an evolutionary process, and it is essential to recognize that any traits such as conceit, arrogance, meanness, and indifference must be transformed into qualities such as humility, kindness, compassion, and mercy.

The Emotion Release Technique

Should you experience feelings of anger once more, we would advise you to take prompt action. By focusing on your anger (liver), your feelings of hurt (heart) and your vulnerability (small intestine), you will gradually begin to experience increased peace and freedom.

You will come to understand that the world is a reflection of your own actions and beliefs, allowing you to observe and learn from your experiences. It is only when you feel hurt that you become emotionally vulnerable and susceptible to anger.

The path to liberation is to let go of the past and achieve inner peace.

Striking the Zhenmen (acupoint on the liver meridian), Zhongchong (acupoint on the pericardium meridian) and Zuoyue (acupoint on the small intestine meridian) with the whole palm alternately allows emotions to flow through your body instead of stagnating, while reciting the following affirmative sentence:

I accept myself and my anger at the deepest level. I am aware that my anger is related to unresolved issues, and I choose to forgive myself and the other person and transform my anger into a constructive force.

I am confident that you can succeed because you are a caring mother. Best of luck, and please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any further assistance.

It is my hope that my response will prove somewhat helpful to you.

It is unclear how long has elapsed since the original poster gave birth. It is possible that the situation has changed since then. In that case, it would be advisable to visit a medical facility to ascertain whether the symptoms are indicative of postpartum depression. There is no need for concern or apprehension, as postpartum depression is a common occurrence and the condition can be effectively managed.

Furthermore, the following modifications can be implemented:

1. It is essential to release emotions in a timely manner, rather than repressing them. It is beneficial to allow emotions to flow freely and release anger, grievances, and other negative feelings within oneself.

In general, emotions do not suddenly emerge; rather, they are suppressed for extended periods, and then released at opportune moments. It is possible that other forms of suppression occur, but when one is with one's children, the eruption of emotions may be more pronounced.

To forestall abrupt emotional eruptions, it is imperative to implement reasonable methodologies for the periodic alleviation and discharge of one's emotions. For instance, one may discharge pent-up anger by striking a pile of pillows. Alternatively, one may express cherished sentiments and emotions on paper through writing. Furthermore, one may identify an appropriate individual with whom to converse and articulate one's thoughts and feelings.

It can be reasonably deduced that the prompt release of emotions will result in a gradual relaxation of the heart, thereby reducing the likelihood of emotional outbursts.

2. It is imperative not to bear the pressure alone. It is essential to recognize one's own resources and to seek external assistance when necessary.

It is important to identify those who can provide support, both in terms of practical assistance and emotional support. For instance, it may be beneficial to express one's feelings and needs to one's husband, communicate specific requests for assistance, and seek his help. Additionally, it can be helpful to engage in dialogue with other mothers facing similar challenges, learn from their experiences, and develop strategies for coping with the difficulties. Furthermore, it is valuable to communicate with one's parents, family members, and friends to ascertain their willingness and ability to provide support and assistance.

I frequently discuss my needs and feelings with my husband, and when I make specific requests, he is able to provide assistance. I also regularly engage in conversation with my mother and younger brother about my concerns. While they are unable to offer practical support, these discussions provide a sense of emotional relief.

3. In the event of an imminent outburst, it is possible to employ a series of techniques to achieve a state of calm before engaging in communication with the child.

When an emotional state is experienced, it is challenging to engage in rational thinking, as the emotional brain exerts a dominant influence over cognitive processes. To regain rationality, it is essential to employ techniques that facilitate a shift in state.

As an illustration, when an individual experiences anger and the urge to lash out, they can verbally instruct themselves to "stop" and then inform their child that they will return when they have regained their composure. They can then remove themselves from the situation and proceed to a location that will facilitate relaxation, such as a bathroom to wash their face or a balcony to obtain fresh air. Once they have achieved a state of composure, they can resume their interaction with the child.

Additionally, deep breathing can be employed as a rapid method of achieving calm. The following procedure should be followed: inhalation for five seconds, retention of breath for five seconds, exhalation for five seconds, retention of breath for five seconds, inhalation for five seconds. This sequence should be repeated for a period of between five and eight minutes, during which time the subject will experience a gradual reduction in emotional arousal and an increase in emotional stability.

It is my sincere hope that these suggestions will prove beneficial. Wishing you the best.

Dear colleague, I empathize with you after reading your story and would like to offer my support. Let's collaborate on finding solutions together.

1. You say that your temper is getting worse and worse, that you lose your temper easily for no reason, and that you are often very irritable. Take a moment to observe yourself: when did this situation start? Are there any specific situations that make you lose your temper?

For instance, have you noticed any changes before or after your period? Have there been any major shifts in your family or life recently? Have you had any physical symptoms, like endocrine disorders?

Sometimes, people's emotional changes are caused by external factors, such as major changes, physical discomfort, or various other reasons. There's no need to worry at this stage. Take some time to calm down and think about this problem. If you can, try to find time to go to the hospital for a comprehensive physical examination to put your mind at ease.

2. You say you're tired of life, you don't even like your children, you're tired of your husband, and you want a divorce. It might also help to think about when this situation started. Are you at home full-time and you can only revolve around your family members all day? Do you feel very self-deprived?

Or could it still be down to something else? You can also keep an eye on it, make notes and think about it, which will also be useful for adjusting and improving in future.

The same goes for the sleeping problem you mentioned.

3. Once you've made your observations and reflections, you can start trying out different ways of regulating your emotions. You can ask questions on Yiyi Psychology to get a better understanding of what psychological counseling is all about. If you're up for it, you can try psychological counseling. If not, you can practice meditation on Yiyi Psychology, focus on your emotional awareness, or do some similar exercises from Pocket Practice to adjust yourself through meditation.

While it might take a little longer, you'll gain a better understanding of yourself and your emotional triggers, which will help you deal with them more effectively in the future.

This is just a reference for you. Thanks!

Dear questioner,

My name is Kelly.

I have taken the time to read your question several times, and I can see that you must be in a great deal of pain and unsure of why you feel this way.

Many people experience feelings of confusion and discomfort, and I have also felt this way. Let's discuss these feelings together in a constructive and understanding manner.

I've noticed that I've been feeling less and less like myself lately. I've also been losing my temper more often than I'd like, and I've been feeling more and more irritable. My husband is obviously very good to me, but I'm starting to feel increasingly insecure.

First of all, you are fortunate to have a husband who is very good to you, who is happy for you, and who can be understanding and tolerant when you lose your temper.

Insecurity can also stem from one's own feelings. It might be helpful to explore what happened in the past.

Could I ask you to consider why you feel insecure?

I studied psychology and gradually came to understand that our present circumstances are influenced by our past experiences.

1: Could you please tell me what we experienced during our growth process?

2: Could you please tell me a little bit about how your parents raised you?

3: Could I ask you to share any unhappy memories you may have kept inside you?

4: Could I ask whether you feel insecure? Do you work? Are you financially independent?

It's not uncommon for people to feel a bit insecure when they return to their families after getting married and temporarily stop working. I think it's something many people can relate to.

5: Might I inquire as to whether you have any hobbies that help you find yourself?

If you don't have one at the moment, that's okay. It's perfectly normal to take time to cultivate interests and hobbies. Be patient with yourself and give yourself the space to discover and feel.

It seems that you often find yourself in situations where you feel the need to discipline your child, and you don't feel any pain. You often tell yourself that you have to be good to your child, but as soon as your child does something wrong, you find yourself responding with a raised voice.

I sense that you may be experiencing some guilt. It's not that you don't feel pain, but that you may not fully recognize or acknowledge your feelings. It's possible that you're experiencing some emotional suppression, which can make it challenging to express your emotions.

I believe you love your child. Could I ask how old your child is?

It's not uncommon for new mothers to neglect their own needs after having a baby. They may experience a range of emotions that can be difficult to express. I can relate to this, as I went through a similar period after having a child. Seeking counseling helped me identify the root cause of my struggles and find ways to cope.

A counselor helped me realize that when I was a child, I was often scolded by my mother. After I had children, I found myself treating them in a similar way to how my mother had treated me. At the same time, my mother's parenting style also made me feel insecure.

Over time, I came to recognize that there were a number of underlying factors, including resentment, fear, and insecurity, contributing to my initial feelings of repression.

It's not that you're intentionally yelling and screaming, and you're unable to control it. If you're open to it, you can find a counselor and explore together what's behind the emotions.

You might also consider learning more about yourself by studying psychology.

It is not uncommon for children who have experienced physical or verbal abuse to develop negative associations and memories that can have a lasting impact on their mental health and well-being.

I was beaten a lot by my mother when I was a child, and at that time I always thought deep down that I must never hit or scold my child if I had one. So after I had my daughter, I hardly ever hit or scolded her. However, I have a bad temper and would scold my husband, and at that time I was unable to control it for some inexplicable reason.

However, I do feel a certain degree of guilt when I see my child afraid of my anger and her frightened appearance when she scolds my husband. I also sense that I may have emotional issues, so I have decided to find a counselor to explore myself.

"I often wonder if it would be better to remain married. I feel like there's nothing to look forward to. I'm so tired of life, so bored. I really don't know when I'll lose my temper and take a knife to my husband. I tell myself not to, for fear of hurting the children, but if I keep holding it, I'll get used to it and regret it.

In light of these considerations, I would like to suggest seeking the guidance of a professional counselor. There are several avenues through which this can be done.

1: Local hospitals have professional psychological outpatient clinics that may be able to provide assistance.

2: It might be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional counselor.

3: It would be helpful to understand our emotions better. Just as we can catch a cold and have a fever and a runny nose, our emotions need to be seen, channelled and comforted.

4: It would be wise to consider your own health as well, as anger can also harm your body. It's also important to remember that your child is still young and needs the protection of their parents.

5: Have you ever observed someone who was threatened with a knife when they were a child?

I empathize with your situation. I extend my support and encouragement to you. Given that you are facing challenges and have sought guidance from Yi Xinli, I believe you will find many teachers ready to offer guidance and support.

Your emotions are not functioning as they should, and it's not something you want. It would be helpful to support your emotions and recognize when they are angry. (It might be beneficial to seek the guidance of a psychologist to gain a better understanding of what's happening to you and why you're acting this way.)

When my temper arises, I find it challenging to control my emotions. I often experience difficulty sleeping at night and find it helpful to listen to music to help me relax. However, I sometimes keep the music on until dawn. I also tend to feel uneasy about sleeping alone at night and prefer to have someone with me when I go to sleep. I'm not sure what causes these feelings. My temper seems to be intensifying, and I find myself losing my temper with the children more frequently. I often feel irritable and in a bad mood. I'm seeking guidance on how to address these challenges.

Dear questioner, It seems that you may be suppressing your emotions. If you were to realize this now, with the help of others or a counselor, you might find that you can improve gradually. There is no need to be afraid.

It might be helpful to remember that temperament can be quite stubborn. It's possible that the more she gets used to getting angry, the more she will use this method.

Not getting enough sleep at night can really affect your mood. Have you been feeling tired lately?

Have you considered the possibility of raising your child on your own after it is born? Have you thought about how taking care of a child might affect your ability to sleep well?

You also met a husband who is very good to you. You might consider letting your husband know that you are afraid to sleep alone, that you are emotional and could use his help in raising the children together.

It's possible that your inability to sleep well at night is contributing to your current mood. Alternatively, your mood may be influencing your thoughts at night, which in turn are causing you distress and worry. As we are unable to see the problem ourselves, it might be helpful to seek professional assistance.

If you are open to it, you can find solutions to the challenges you are facing. It is important to have faith in yourself.

We can all love ourselves and our families better.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to reflect on your past and see the confusion of the "child" who is now a mother.

We can all learn and grow together.

I would like to wish you a very happy birthday.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to click "Find a Coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I would be happy to communicate with you one-on-one.