At night, you can't sleep soundly, and you are always afraid for no reason, worrying about something happening?

Good morning, question asker!

My name is Sunny Dolphin Floater, and I'm a counselor.

I'm happy to tell you that you're correct in your assumption. It seems that you are experiencing anxiety.

It is possible that all of the symptoms are caused by anxiety, as well as the impact of the epidemic.

A disagreement with your boyfriend about the future of your relationship. Some concerns from your parents.

It can all become a source of stress for you.

You're 30 years old, which is a great age to have your own routine.

During the time you spent living with your parents, they inquired about aspects of your life that you may not have previously considered. This could potentially be a source of anxiety for you.

Perhaps it is because you have never really considered your future that it seems a little daunting when it is mentioned.

Perhaps this is an opportunity to consider planning for your future in a more structured way.

?‍♂️Some people are afraid of being late. Others are afraid of not having enough money in the future.

Then we set an alarm before going to bed. When the alarm goes off, we have to get up.

And how can you be late? Perhaps you're afraid that you won't have enough money.

If I may suggest, perhaps it would be helpful to start now. It might be beneficial to divide our monthly income into different categories.

Could I ask how much pocket money you allow yourself each month? And how much do you save?

Could I perhaps inquire as to how much is spent on living expenses? And similarly, how much is spent on supporting your parents?

It might be helpful to consider that, regardless of one's income, it's possible to divide it based on facts. It's possible that there will always be a surplus.

It would be wise to prepare for the future and for what may happen. Then, perhaps there will be less to worry about.

What kind of accidents do you think might happen in your future life? It might be a good idea to be prepared for such accidents. There's a saying that "preparedness prevents trouble," after all.

I kindly suggest that you try to do as I say. You may find that it improves your current situation.

I hope my answer is helpful to you.

I would like to express my gratitude to Yi Xinli World.

Hello, dear question asker! I'm your friendly neighborhood psychological counselor, Ying Wang.

Give yourself a hug. You're going through some tough times right now, and that can make you feel a little anxious. This is life, and it's always full of ups and downs. It's just how it is! We all go through periods of suffering and then periods of sweetness. So don't worry, no matter how difficult the situation seems, it will pass. We've all been there. At the time, we thought we couldn't get over the hurdle, but looking back later, we realize that it wasn't that big of a deal, and it wasn't as hard as we thought it would be.

It's been a tough month, hasn't it? It's so hard to sleep peacefully when you're worrying about things that haven't even happened yet. It's only natural to have these thoughts, but it's so important to remember that it's not the problems in real life that trap us, but the thoughts in our heads.

It's okay to feel like you're caught in a strange cycle where your mind keeps making up stories and you're deceived by them. These stories can feel real, but they're not. Take a deep breath and think about it calmly. Is there any point in making up these stories in your head?

It's so unfair to yourself to torture and trouble yourself with the unknown future. You deserve better than that! You are torturing yourself.

When you realize this problem and see clearly that they are just your thoughts and stories, when these voices start to sound in your head again, just take a moment to pause and remind yourself that these stories aren't real. Live in the present! It's the best way to get out of this predicament. Bring all your attention back to what you are doing right now. When you sleep, just experience the soft pillow, the warm quilt, and the whole body relaxing on the bed. When you wash the dishes, feel the touch of the water flowing through your fingertips. When you walk, observe every footprint and every stone you step on. When you are waiting in line, observe the people and the environment around you. And so on and so on. In every moment, at this time, you will experience unprecedented feelings, ease and comfort. You'll slowly start to feel a kind of power rising within you, and that is the power of the present. I also recommend a book to you, Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now.

It's so hard when our parents treat us like children, isn't it? I can see that you're thirty years old, but your parents still treat you like a child. I suspect that your parents are rather controlling and have never given you much room to develop since you were a child. They haven't given you enough respect or freedom, and this is the root cause of your current predicament. Your upbringing has led to low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, and a feeling that you are not good enough.

It's time to "divorce" your parents. You're an adult now, and it's important to let go of this unusual connection with them. When they try to re-educate you, kindly tell them, "I'm an adult now, so please treat me with the respect I deserve and stop treating me like a child." Your parents might initially struggle to accept this, and they may have a strong reaction. It's okay to be patient and face their emotions, such as self-blame, guilt, and fear. Remember, you still care about your parents and want to show them love. With time, they'll accept your independence and stop interfering in your life. Your relationship with them will improve.

It's totally normal to have problems in your intimate relationships. They often come from old memories and wounds. So, when you have problems or conflicts with your boyfriend, remember that your emotions aren't about him. They're about your childhood wounds. To solve the problem, you first need to recognize this. Then, you can learn to take responsibility for your emotions. You can also learn to take your attention away from external people and things. Instead, focus on yourself. Don't avoid it. Look within yourself. See what's going on inside you. What feelings does your boyfriend's actions trigger in you? You might feel like you're not loved, respected, or good enough. You might feel like you've been abandoned. Then, look at it, feel it, accept it, and comfort it. This is your inner wounded child. You can't fix everything at once. You'll get there. You'll learn to coexist with your emotions in the present moment. Then, you'll become the master of your emotions. You'll slowly regain your inner strength. You'll heal your inner wounds. This is a long road. Take your time.

If you can do all this, your depressed state will improve. I know it can be tough, but I promise you it'll be worth it! There are so many ways to regain inner strength. Try practicing yoga, learning meditation, sitting in silence, and practicing tai chi. Get close to nature, learn to practice gratitude, always examine your belief system, read more books, and as long as you make a change, your life will be very different. You've got this!

I really hope my answer helps you out! I wish you all the best.

The term "anxiety about the unknown" is used to describe the experience of worrying on a daily basis about an event that has not yet occurred.

Anxiety and uncertainty are the result of an underlying fear that one is unable to cope with impending events.

Furthermore, concerns about the future are frequently attributable to catastrophic thinking.

In other words, one may perceive the future as bleak and experience an inability to cope with potential adverse outcomes.

The sense of powerlessness in the face of catastrophic thoughts may be a consequence of the manner in which the individual was treated by their parents, who may have treated them as though they were still children.

Over the past month, I have experienced difficulties in obtaining uninterrupted sleep. I have been roused from slumber at intervals of approximately two hours, during which I have engaged in worry and fear-inducing thoughts. These include concerns about potential tardiness, the possibility of saying something inappropriate, and the risk of insufficient funds.

Please describe the event that occurred one month ago that you are still preoccupied with.

The subconscious mind retains all information that causes concern.

If the solution is not provided, the subject will remain in a state of worry.

Such concerns and apprehensions are, in fact, relatively inconsequential.

Is it unreasonable for an adult to be concerned about such inconsequential issues?

For example, when one is concerned about arriving late, it is possible to simply arrive early. This is a strategy that adults can employ.

If one is fearful of being subjected to disciplinary action for arriving late, this is a concern that may be more acute for a child than for an adult.

If one is willing to accept the possibility of minor disciplinary action, would one nevertheless be concerned about arriving late?

What are the potential consequences of speaking improperly?

One might inquire as to the gravity of this consequence.

Do you believe that if you utter something erroneous, you will be subjected to criticism and guidance?

In order to circumvent the potential for embarrassment, one may be reluctant to speak in a forthright manner. Is this a valid assumption?

While effective expression is undoubtedly important, limiting oneself to only saying nice things or only saying the right things will inevitably restrict one's ability to express oneself fully.

In the event of insufficient financial resources, it is pertinent to inquire as to the potential for augmenting said resources.

Affirmative.

When one communicates with the subconscious mind, providing answers to the aforementioned questions, before falling asleep or upon waking, the mind will then be able to achieve a state of tranquility.

One may choose to persevere for a period of time and attempt this method.

Residing with my parents for a month, I have frequently been instructed by them. I am thirty years of age, yet they continue to treat me as though I were a child. In addition to the impact of the epidemic, I have engaged in heated arguments with my boyfriend in a different city, ruminating on the future and worrying about events that have not yet occurred. I am experiencing depressive symptoms and am wondering whether I have anxiety problems.

The lack of sleep over the past month may be attributed to the fact that the subject resides with their parents, who engage in frequent lectures that exacerbate the subject's concerns about the future.

The manner in which your parents treat you evinces a tendency to treat you as though you were still a child, which in turn suggests that they themselves are also anxious.

Such anxieties are transmitted from one generation to the next.

Such a perception fosters an environment where individuals are not given the opportunity to develop and grow, leading to feelings of inadequacy and an inability to cope with even minor challenges. It is, therefore, crucial to challenge these beliefs and provide a supportive environment where individuals can flourish.

Additionally, engaging in conflict with one's romantic partner in a geographically distant location has the potential to influence one's emotional state.

The situation of being separated from one's romantic partner is inherently uncertain.

Furthermore, the potential consequences of a conflict may give rise to concerns regarding the future of the relationship with the boyfriend in question.

If one is able to communicate with one's parents, it may be possible to persuade them to trust one and to permit one to manage one's own affairs as an adult, thereby gaining experience and assuming responsibility.

If feasible, the optimal form of assistance is to be provided by way of encouragement and affirmation, rather than through the dispensation of education, the perpetuation of denial, or the imposition of intimidation.

It is important to demonstrate to them that their approach will only serve to exacerbate feelings of powerlessness and fear.

Maintaining regular communication with one's romantic partner in a different city, coupled with a heightened level of consideration and comprehension regarding their emotional state and life trajectory, may contribute to an enhanced emotional stability.

In the event that one's parents are unable to provide the aforementioned support, it is possible to develop the strength to break out of the cocoon and become a butterfly.

Prior to the emergence of the butterfly, the larva must endure the rigors of the cocooning and cocoon-breaking process. This is a painful but transformative journey that enables life to flourish in new ways.

This concludes the presentation.

My name is Yan Guilai, and I am a practicing psychological counselor. I extend my best wishes to you.