At the age of nine, he suddenly became weak. Can a good character change?

From what the questioner has shared, there are a few points that I'm not quite sure I understand, and it seems like there might be a bit of a contradiction. I would love to ask the questioner for some advice.

The questioner says that he is "cowardly and timid," but also "not self-deprecating" and "has friends." It's so interesting to me that he judges himself as "cowardly and timid" when he has friends and isn't self-deprecating. Have other people around him (family members, friends, classmates) made similar comments about the questioner being "cowardly and timid"?

The questioner said that after the age of ten, they began to experience "language expression difficulties," but "personal abilities such as storytelling...are good." So, in what situations and when communicating with whom does the language expression difficulty occur? Is it that they cannot communicate normally, or is it that what they express is not what they really want and goes against their inner thoughts?

The questioner is really struggling with why his personality has changed so much. He's not worried about the current "weak" personality causing trouble in life and work. He's just looking for answers. So, it's really important to him to understand why this happened.

The questioner said that nothing major happened when he was nine years old that was so serious that it suddenly changed him. In the book What Have You Been Through? Conversations on Trauma, Healing, and Resilience, the author suggests that it's so important for younger people to rely on their caregivers—parents or other adults—to help them understand the world.

He may not understand a specific word, but he can feel the non-verbal part of communication, such as tone of voice. He can feel the tension and hostility in angry words and the exhaustion and despair in negative words. We may not remember specific events or people, but the feeling of being hurt is deeply imprinted in the brain and is associated with specific scenes, character images, speech tones, etc. These early experiences have a significant impact on people, and once they encounter that specific scene, they will trigger feelings of being hurt.

I really think that if we have to find out what made the questioner change so much at nine, this could be a good place to start.

Greetings, I am the place of peace of mind.

It appears that there has been a notable shift in your personality since the age of nine. Prior to that, you were not particularly talkative, but you were intelligent, confident, creative, quick-thinking, and had a knack for making friends.

At the age of nine, you began to exhibit a timid and somewhat cowardly demeanor.

From what I can gather from your description, it seems that the change in temperament was sudden and without warning. Could I ask whether that is really the case?

Perhaps we could discuss this further?

From what I understand, you were living with your grandparents or other important relatives until the age of ten, when you transferred to your parents' side. Is that correct?

I wonder if your parents may have mentioned at some point that you would be returning to them when you turned ten.

It's possible that when you heard the news, you already felt a certain unease, but at that young age, you may not have fully realized the potential impact it could have on your temperament.

It is understandable that leaving the place where you have lived for nine years, leaving familiar relatives and friends, and going to an unknown and unfamiliar environment might make you feel uncertain about what kind of situation you are about to face.

It's also possible that you're feeling a bit anxious about how you'll get along with your parents. It's understandable that after spending the last ten years apart, they might feel like unfamiliar figures.

Could it be that you're unsure of the best way to interact with them?

It seems that your fear of the unknown world brings you a strong sense of unease. It may be that a voice inside you is constantly reminding you to protect yourself, to wrap yourself up, to hide in your own castle, so as not to get hurt.

It's possible that from that moment on, your desire to express yourself gradually diminished at a pace you were not aware of, and that a speech impediment may have developed as a result.

You have good personal and family conditions, excellent grades, and are able to tell stories, do crafts, and eat and wear as well as anyone. These are all advantages that you possess.

It may be the case that all of this has not provided you with sufficient sense of security.

I'm curious to know your thoughts on returning to your parents. How would you describe the relationship you have with them?

If I may ask, do you have any difficulties communicating with your parents?

If it would be helpful for you, you might consider trying to muster up the courage to communicate with your parents and tell them about your thoughts, feelings, expectations, and needs over the years.

I understand it must be challenging, and it may take some time. You have been carrying a lot, and now you are learning to process it gradually, which is difficult.

However, I believe that with the willingness and motivation to try, and the courage and perseverance to take action, things will definitely improve.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

Hello, I'm June.

I'm grateful for the chance to talk about these issues that feel so surreal. I'm perplexed because my personality underwent a radical transformation around age nine, yet there were no significant life changes.

I am certain that the separation from your "spiritual parents" and the anxiety of reuniting with your "real parents" were the triggers for your personality change.

You transferred to a new school and returned to your parents' home when you were ten years old. This means that you did not grow up with your parents. If the person who raised you was more dedicated, you would have felt loved and cared for from an early age. This would have made you very happy and extroverted and lively.

As you get older and the sense of returning to your parents grows, your unconscious mind will react with resistance or anxiety. This comes from two sources: on the one hand, you are reluctant to leave your familiar carers, friends, and environment; on the other hand, you are afraid of the unknown.

I want to know if my parents love me. And I want to know if I can make good friends.

When you are caught up in an uneasy mood, words from your childhood that you may have forgotten will enter your unconscious and increase your fear of the unknown. For example, you may think, "You are a child not loved by your parents, so you were not taken with your parents."

As a nine-year-old, you couldn't distinguish between these emotions, and you had nowhere to turn. You felt like leaving was your only option, and you were powerless to fight it, so you became quiet and withdrawn.

I am certain that you believe this personality change happened suddenly. However, I can assure you that these issues have been present in your unconscious mind for a long time. The age of nine simply made them appear from the inside out.

The above is my analysis. I am confident that it will be of some reference to you. I welcome criticism from other teachers.

Best regards!

Your personality can change at any age.

If a child wants to change their personality, they should think positively, be kind, get along with their peers, and communicate with good people. This can also change their personality.

Adapt to your new environment.

1/6

Adapt to your environment and be prepared for changes. The environment affects everyone differently, so you have to adapt to it.

2/6

Be more tolerant and understanding of others. Argue less and smile more. Don't complain about extra work or less responsibilities. Learn to fit in at your new school.

3/6

Get to know the school and its rules.

4/6

Get used to a new learning environment, work hard, be careful, and make a good impression. This will help you in life.

5/6

Your ability to adapt affects your future. Being resilient helps you deal with problems. At first, we may not be able to adapt, but over time, we will.

6/6

Be popular with others, tolerant, and understanding. Work hard to change and be tolerant, even if you're worried about your studies. Focus on the important things.

To change your character, you must become stronger. Read more to become stronger. Reading broadens your horizons and enriches your knowledge.

Be brave.

A weak appearance makes you look fragile. Working out makes you look healthy and successful.

Learn to say no to unreasonable demands. Have your own opinions. People with opinions seem more responsible.

Good day, I hope this message finds you well.

After reviewing your inquiry, I am compelled to share my experiences, which may offer some insight. The age of nine is a pivotal period in your life, marked by a sense of having lived two distinct lives.

The subsequent nine years of my life played out like a film: the initial nine years were pleasant and optimistic, accompanied by a cheerful soundtrack; the subsequent nine years were gradually more challenging and less vibrant, with intermittent moments of brightness that were minor and secondary. The soundtrack was melancholy and occasionally even tragic.

I am unaware of your preferences regarding film. Could you kindly provide me with a list of your preferred genres? If you are interested, you may wish to try watching your own documentary with your eyes closed.

In the initial nine-year period, the overarching theme was happiness. However, as an audience member, I experienced an inexplicable sense of unease, despite feeling happy. These feelings intermittently arose, but I chose to disregard them. It is challenging to assess without knowing your growth process, but I detect a sense of detachment from your words and phrases. Nevertheless, your happiness is genuine, suggesting that the family who cared for you provided significant care, attention, and love.

It is inevitable that, despite our best efforts, we will experience a sense of regret.

The following nine years, as I write this, do not appear to be entirely negative. They seem to be more akin to a suspense drama, with a hint of unease, but with the potential for improvement around the next corner. You are the driving force behind this narrative.

I believe it is more likely that you will take on the role of the "unconscious self." When we returned to our parents, although we had no concerns about food and clothing, you were not satisfied. On the one hand, I believe this is because you left the familiar family, classmates, friends, and the home you had lived in for nine years. We would experience a sense of "loss," and this feeling seemed very familiar. When our parents were busy at work outside, we would also have a similar feeling. Therefore, a rough sketch is made, and seeing your parents will trigger this sense of loss in you. However, this feeling is very subtle and not so easily detected. But that "unconscious self" is very perceptive and catches it in an instant.

The next nine years were characterised by a series of significant events.

Your unconscious and conscious minds are both highly adept at discerning subtle nuances. This is why you have documented the aforementioned query. You are driven by curiosity and aim to delve into the underlying reasons.

This connection of [=] is indicative of a grievance and dissatisfaction that has been redirected. You have become weak, and even had a speech impediment for a while. The underlying grievance and anger have not been expressed due to a lack of appropriate timing. They are concerned that if they are expressed rashly, they will also scare your parents. You are even more afraid of hurting them because you love them deeply.

The substitute appears, and you are tactfully expressing your changes. You are fortunate that the accumulation of love over the previous nine years has enabled you to maintain your realistic function while pursuing a career in screenwriting. You are able to excel in your studies and form relationships with colleagues.

I have not yet exhausted my expression of these doubts. I am concerned that my suggestions may be misinterpreted as rashness, which could potentially cause harm. Despite our professional relationship, I am compelled to offer you my protection.

There are numerous potential solutions to the problem, and I am confident that you possess the capability to identify the optimal course of action for yourself.

I recommend viewing a film that resonates with you and taking note of the metaphorical significance of the light that emerges nine years later.

In conclusion, I extend my best wishes for the love of your life.