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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello, dear questioner! I'm Jia Ao, and I'm not looking for anything.
I've read your story and I'm here to help. It sounds like you had a rough time after breaking up with someone you met on a blind date. You said you felt devastated and struggled with a lot of conflicting feelings. It's totally normal to feel like he looked down on you or disliked you, even if you liked being with him. It's understandable that you had a mental breakdown after the breakup and even thought about him after you got married. I'm here to help you understand his attitude towards you and help you move forward. Do you want to know more or would you like to distract yourself and forget about him?
I'm happy to help you answer your question! Let's take a moment to analyze and sort it out together.
1. Take a deep breath and look at the relationship from a calm, objective point of view.
From what you've told me, it's not super clear if you like him or not. You seem to admire and appreciate him, and he has a lot of great qualities. He's highly educated and has a good temperament. It's understandable that you're feeling pretty devastated since he broke up with you. From the start, you felt like you weren't quite on his level, like you weren't worthy of him. This doesn't necessarily mean you really like him, though. Maybe you're just not ready to accept it!
Even if you're not sure if you like him, you're actually very happy when you're with him. You show a lot of initiative, but his attitude towards you is not very clear. You can only say that there is not enough intimacy, but there is more politeness than intimacy. In some ways, he is still very considerate, but in the end, he directly told you that you are not a good match and that he has someone he likes. From his point of view, he is not dragging you along, and it cannot be said that he has caused you much harm. Relatively speaking, he is indeed a very good man.
You used to date, and you only broke up because you felt that it wasn't working out during the course of your relationship. This is very common among the two sexes. It's totally normal to feel like you two weren't meant to be together. Relationships can't be forced, and since he's already told you that you two aren't a good match, it might be best to let it go. You'll be happier in the long run.
2. Be kind to yourself and take care of your emotions and feelings.
Of course, we all want to be appreciated and recognized by the people we love, but the truth is, there's nothing we can do to make everyone like us. It's okay to feel negative emotions, but it's also important to take care of your feelings.
From a psychological point of view, it's totally normal to feel the way you do. It's a common experience to feel like the other person must hate you when we feel unloved or unworthy. But it's important to remember that you can't read minds and that you don't know for sure what he's thinking. Has he hurt you in any way?
No matter what happens, it's so important to love yourself and take care of your emotions and feelings. It's okay not to care too much about what others think or say, as this will make you more and more passive and inferior.
3. It's okay to have good and bad qualities — we all do!
Since you've already broken up, it's time to look forward instead of dwelling on the bad feelings from the past. Try to sort out your feelings and adjust your mentality. Don't let this matter weigh on your mind too much, as dwelling on it will ultimately affect your current relationship and life. You've got this!
It's so important to try to accept your good and bad sides, recognize your own shortcomings, know yourself, and work hard to improve yourself. From your detailed description, we can also see the many bad feelings you have experienced in this relationship. We know you are having a hard time, so we are sending you a warm hug from afar.
4. Live in the present and cherish the person in front of you.
So, there's really no point in dwelling on the past. You can't change what's already happened, and he has already moved on to a new relationship. If you keep torturing yourself, it's not going to help. You've got to look to the future.
Life goes on, sweetheart. Whether you liked or admired him, the fact that you were once together is enough. What if you can't let go? If you can't let go, you're the one being tortured, the one suffering. You have to try to let go, live in the present, slowly improve your competitiveness, boost your self-confidence, and work hard to manage the relationship you have now. I wish you all the best!
I really hope my answer helps! Sending you lots of love ??
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Comments
It sounds like you went through a really tough time with this man. From what you've described, it seems he appreciated your presence initially but perhaps grew distant as he found someone else he was interested in. It's hard to say if he showed contempt or loathed you; sometimes people just lose interest without it being about anything wrong on the other person's part. Maybe you love him, or maybe you're holding onto the comfort and excitement he brought into your life. It's also possible that during a vulnerable time, you needed someone who made you feel special, and he filled that role for a while.
The way you describe your feelings towards this man indicates a deep emotional attachment, which can be both love and psychological need intertwined. You may have developed strong feelings because he made you feel valued and understood at a time when you were unsure of yourself. The fact that you still think about him even after getting married suggests that there's an unresolved aspect of your relationship with him that continues to affect you. It might help to reflect on what exactly it is about him or the time you spent together that you miss so much.
Reflecting on your story, it appears you had high regard for this man due to his education and thoughtfulness, qualities that you felt you lacked. It's understandable to feel inadequate in comparison, but it's important to remember that everyone has their own unique value. Your longing for him could stem from a combination of admiration and the comfort of familiarity. It's not easy to let go of someone who once made you feel so special, especially when you question your own worth. However, it might be helpful to focus on selfgrowth and healing rather than revisiting a past relationship that no longer serves you.