Being weirded out every day, always repressing yourself, and being afraid of developing psychological problems

Hello there!

A little pat on the shoulder goes a long way!

"It's so hard to be treated strangely every day. I always try to be strong for fear of psychological problems..."

It's so sad when a relationship in a dormitory is bad. It can feel isolating and like you're being treated strangely every day. I know it can feel like you've done something wrong, but the other person might just have something they don't like. It can be hard to know what to do in that situation. Is this not also a sign that you don't value yourself enough, so your emotions are more easily affected by emotional control?

Bedroom relationships are another kind of collective relationship. We all have different concepts, ideas, living habits, individual differences, values, and other issues, which can cause some internal conflicts. This is totally normal! Most people have to go through a process of readjustment, which helps them establish a new identity and interpersonal boundaries.

I'd love to understand what emotions are behind the roommate's attack with her "three-inch tongue."

It would be really helpful to know if there's a history of offending her in the past. For example, did you accidentally and unintentionally cause harm or loss to the other person, or is there an unintentional conflict of interest? Or is it for other subjective reasons, such as personality clashes or a lack of rapport, that you want to express malicious, hostile emotions?

If you find yourself in the former case, conflict can often be resolved through good communication. This is because the other person is not generating negative emotions towards you alone. This is mainly due to external pressure, and what they want is to release the pressure. If you find yourself in the latter case, there is subjective personal hostility. This is because they want to control and influence you through negative words and actions.

So, in the latter case, it's important to have a strong sense of self-protection. It's okay to respond strongly to your true inner feelings and attitude. At this time, the person who has been stabbed in the heart by the truth will often take measures to restrain themselves.

For example, the other person might say, "Some people just hate it!"

It feels like they're talking about you again, doesn't it? I've been there!

"Who are you talking about? Is it me?"

The other person: "Oh, you don't think so?"

Oh, don't worry about it! You're overthinking it!

"

"If that's the case, I'd be happy to talk outside or when I'm not here, or we can just take a little break from talking if you like. Whatever works for you is fine with me."

The other person, "On what basis?"

"I'm sorry, but you're making me feel a little uncomfortable when you talk to me like that. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but I just want to say that I don't accept that kind of expression. I'd really appreciate it if you could learn to respect others."

It's okay if the other person still doesn't back down. They might speak in an unclear way or even get more intense. Don't be afraid to speak up. It's important to remember that the dormitory is a public place, and everyone has the right to say "no" when they don't feel comfortable.

It's important to draw a clear line between you and the other person so that they know where the boundaries are.

It's totally normal to feel a bit unsure about how to handle strong personalities. It can feel like responding is an immature approach, and that's okay! Sometimes, it's because we feel a bit inferior, and other times, it's because we're afraid of getting into a bigger fight.

It's a vicious cycle, isn't it? Low self-esteem leads to low self-esteem. It's so important to enhance your sense of self-worth and clarify your self-boundaries. You should know that it is a reasonable demand to ask others to respect your boundaries. As for the fear of escalating conflicts, this is an objective perspective. It can be said that this part is based on certain realistic concerns. However, when the other party repeatedly attacks with words, she will subconsciously believe that her behavior is allowed and supported. If the group surrenders to the psychology of authority and everyone else is on the same side, it will be even more detrimental to safeguarding one's rights and interests. Therefore, when encountering interpersonal attacks, even if you are afraid, you need to clearly say "no!" to express the irrationality of the other party's behavior and demand that they stop the violence in time!

It's totally normal for things to get heated when you're facing strong emotions. But, if you feel like someone is trying to hurt you or is being deliberately mean, it's important to give yourself a space to reflect on how you're responding. If you don't, things can quickly escalate into a fight. And, if there's physical harm, it's important to seek help from the school. They'll be able to step in and help you deal with the person who's always picking fights for no reason, who deliberately provokes, and who breaks the dormitory rules. The school doesn't like this kind of troublemaking either, and they'll respond strongly.

It's so important to pay attention to your emotions, but don't feel inferior because of the other person's pressure. You've got this! Seek a fair treatment, and reduce contact in terms of physical distance unless necessary. This will also reduce the negative impact of this part. You're going to go your separate ways after graduation, but you've got this! Even if you are pressured, there is no need to feel timid and subservient. On the contrary, university is the best time to develop yourself, to experience more enriching experiences, and to gain more knowledge and insight. This is what you need in the future!

If you're still struggling with your inner anxiety and fear, it might be time to seek professional psychological counseling. A trained professional can guide you more deeply and help you understand the root cause of your anxiety.

I really hope these answers help you!

Wishing you all the best!