Boy, because my girlfriend is especially upset today, should I not blame her? Yet, I feel uneasy, torn between the two?

Thank you for your trust and your beautiful invitation.

Love is always exclusive. When two hearts meet, there is no time to decide because love is never something that can be thought up. There are so many possibilities of falling in love at first sight.

Let me be clear: you don't even understand why, but love has already happened.

Let's think about it together.

What kind of love are you looking forward to? Get real. What kind of person is the person you are in a relationship with?

You seem curious. You want something different from what you have, and it's often far away.

Love is interesting.

There are so many mysteries, so many entanglements, and so many complications. If you are interested, you need to spend the time and effort to explore them.

Let's sort it out from a communication perspective, since it's not just a communication problem.

Let's tackle this from a communication standpoint, though it's clear this is about more than just communication. You've uncovered some secrets about her, and based on your thoughts and feelings, you've formulated a hypothesis about her and her ex. You have emotions, and you don't need to suppress them unless you want to.

I want to know if you've really decided to tolerate it.

There is no forbearance, even if you feel you have decided to be forbearing. Understand this.

The key to the problem is how you express the truth of your heart. There has to be another way apart from your previous approach.

You need to allow yourself to be unhappy. Tell her, gently and calmly, about your feelings, your discomfort, and your expectations for the relationship. There's a big difference between expressing anger and expressing anger.

Furthermore, even in love, even if it is very intimate,

You must also leave some space for each other. In addition to loyalty, love requires sufficient trust.

Trust her. She can handle her relationships with her ex, her friends, and the people around her. You will be there for her when she needs help.

Love is a timeless theme for humanity and an eternal human dilemma.

We live in the present, but it is embedded with a lot of the past. We can overcome this by increasing our awareness, understanding each other better, and resolving the relationship between the past and the present.

Love will then be more comfortable and sweeter.

Thank you for trusting us.

I encourage you to explore further. You can always come back, and we will grow together as we slowly become aware. I am here for you, and I love you.

Hello, I'm grateful for the opportunity to answer your question.

As the questioner said, love is exclusive and unique. Seeing his girlfriend in contact with her ex-boyfriend, he had a strong emotional reaction because of these two characteristics of love. This could be interpreted as anger, which suggests that he does love his girlfriend.

If you don't feel a connection with her, then it's perfectly understandable to consider breaking up. You don't have to feel any particular emotion at this stage; simply identifying when the time is right to move on is important.

It might be helpful to understand your anger and the distrust you feel when your girlfriend lies.

It's natural to attribute things first when we're feeling emotional. It's also easy to forget to care for ourselves in those moments. The questioner might find it helpful to try to feel this inner emotion.

Could you please describe what it feels like? Could you also tell me where your body reacts to this emotion?

Could you please describe the sensation of the reaction?

Once we have a chance to feel and identify our emotions, we can find a sense of calm. When our emotions subside, we can then engage in a more reasoned discussion.

At this point, it might be helpful to talk openly with your girlfriend.

I believe there are a few key elements to consider when talking about it.

1. Observation, the result of the observation. When expressing, it would be best to state the facts without comment.

It could be perceived that adding your ex-boyfriend means you still care about him, which might suggest that you don't love me. These are all comments.

If I may respectfully observe, I see that you have added your ex-partner, and I understand that he was your ex-partner.

2. Feelings: Could you please tell me what your feelings are? I would also like to understand what your feelings are when you see that I have added my ex.

3. Needs: Those needs that may contribute to such feelings. These needs could be values, desires, etc.

4. If you would like to, you can make a specific request. For example, you might like to ask your girlfriend to do something in particular to help restore trust between you.

Hello, question asker!

It seems like your girlfriend has added her ex-boyfriend to her social media contacts, but she's not admitting it. I know you're feeling pretty angry about the other person cheating on you, and I get it.

Let's take a moment to think about how we perceive our girlfriend's behavior, our core belief in this matter—cheating—and the emotion that belief generates—anger.

I asked her what she meant by adding her ex-boyfriend, and she said that her best friend's ex was helping her best friend to hang him out to dry. It seems like she is the one "hanging" her ex-boyfriend out to dry, which doesn't seem like her intention. What does "hang" mean, and what is she hanging?

Once we understand this, we'll know what the girlfriend and the other person's intentions are. It's also a good idea to ask the other person how they'd feel if they got what they wanted.

In doing so, we can see what the other person's needs are or let the other person see what our own needs are. It's so important to think about whether satisfying our own needs is meaningful to us. And it's also worth thinking about whether "hanging around" will affect the current relationship with you.

I think it's totally normal to want to know what your ex is up to. It's only natural to want to understand their friends, see how they're doing after the breakup, and find out who they're ending up with. It's also okay to want to show your ex what your life is like, make them feel a little uncomfortable, or even make them regret their decision.

I think that no matter what kind of mentality it is, the other person is living in the past, not the present. It's so hard to know what you really need sometimes! But if we can just take a moment to understand that the other person is not suitable for us, that it is not our fault, and that the other person is not unworthy, we can stop trying to prove something, reconcile with the past, break away from it, and start a new life for ourselves.

On the other hand, we get angry because our own needs are not being met. It's okay to feel this way! We can take a moment to think about what our needs are.

I think our need is "honesty." We need the other person to be "honest" with us, that is, we need the other person to face up to the fact that they have some thoughts and desires that are not "great and glorious" enough. As the questioner said, "You can do things that hurt me, but you can't lie to me."

"

Because of the other person's dishonesty, we feel deceived. You can express your feelings to the other person in a kind and gentle way: "I see that you added your ex and are afraid to admit it (describe what you have observed). I am a little angry and sad (my own emotions), because I feel that we need to be honest with each other.

Let your partner know that it's not her actions that are making you angry, but her character. Then, kindly make your request: "I hope we can cherish the good times we have now.

"

I just wanted to say that the above is for reference only.

I really hope this helps! Warm regards!

Good day, inquirer.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a complex emotional state, comprising elements of entanglement, anger, and suppression, as well as a profound love for your girlfriend. It is this profound love that motivates you to care about her every move and to be unable to accept the manner in which she lied to you and even to her former partner. It is understandable that you feel betrayed and hurt by these actions of hers. Despite your rational understanding that your girlfriend may have lied out of fear of hurting you and of becoming jealous, you are unable to accept this behaviour emotionally. Additionally, you are afraid that your girlfriend still has feelings for her former partner and hope that she can love you wholeheartedly and consider your feelings more.

The depth of love is reflected in the desire for exclusivity. It is a natural phenomenon, and it is essential to understand how to navigate these feelings and emotions in a way that strengthens the relationship and resolves conflicts. The following suggestions may be helpful to consider:

1. It is important to be aware of and accept one's emotions, and to allow oneself a period of time to process them.

In the event of encountering a situation that provokes anger, four potential courses of action present themselves: self-blame, blame attributed to another party, direct experience of one's own feelings and needs, and indirect experience of the feelings and needs of another party. However, the first two options will inevitably result in further negative emotions and exacerbate the situation, whereas the latter two options offer a means of understanding and managing one's own and another's feelings and needs.

At this juncture, it is advisable to take a moment to simply breathe and quietly reflect on one's own experience. This allows for a more objective understanding of the underlying thoughts and emotions that may have contributed to the current state of mind.

Ultimately, this process allows for the expression of feelings and needs.

2. It is recommended that communication with one's girlfriend be conducted in a stable state of mind that promotes good communication and consensus. This entails expressing observations, feelings, needs, and requests in a clear and concise manner.

Non-violent communication can be employed to facilitate communication, achieve consensus, and resolve disputes. When communicating with one's romantic partner, it is essential to first calm oneself and present the facts observed (it is crucial to distinguish these from personal judgments or evaluations), articulate one's feelings, identify the underlying needs that have led to those feelings, and specify desired future actions.

For example, one might say to one's partner, "I observed that you added your former romantic interest to the WeChat platform and concealed this information from me. I am distressed and angry because I love you and desire your undivided affection. In the future, can you please be transparent with me when you encounter such situations?"

In order to achieve a mutually satisfactory resolution, it is essential to ascertain the underlying motivation behind the girlfriend's actions.

3. It is essential to listen attentively to your girlfriend's emotional state, comprehend her feelings and necessities, and convey your comprehension to her.

It is not uncommon for individuals to become emotionally invested in a situation and to become unable to extricate themselves from it. In such instances, it is important to recognize that the truth may not align with one's initial assumptions. To facilitate a productive dialogue, it is essential to adopt a stance of neutrality and to refrain from imposing one's own emotions and opinions. Instead, it is vital to actively and empathetically guide the other person through the expression of their thoughts and feelings. This approach allows for a more comprehensive understanding of the situation and the underlying needs and emotions involved. In this context, it is crucial to inquire about the desired course of action from the other person. This enables a mutual understanding and the development of a constructive plan of action.

Furthermore, it is essential to express one's comprehension of the matter in order to facilitate effective communication and the formulation of an agreement regarding similar occurrences in the future. To illustrate, in the event of discovering that one's partner has added their former romantic interest to the social media platform WeChat, it would be prudent to inquire whether this was done with the intention of maintaining communication and mutual respect despite the dissolution of the relationship.

In the event of discovering that one's partner has been untruthful, it may be beneficial to inquire as to whether the motivation behind this action was a fear of causing distress or a concern that the individual would demonstrate care and concern.

4. It is recommended that a consensus be reached, that the agreement be followed through on, and that the parties involved learn to let go.

Once communication has occurred and a consensus has been reached, both parties should disengage from the matter, refrain from introducing emotional considerations into future interactions and communication, and adhere to the agreed-upon terms. This approach not only prevents the relationship from being adversely affected by the experience but also facilitates its long-term growth and stability.

It is my sincere hope that the poster will achieve a swift and amicable resolution to their predicament, and that they will continue to enjoy a loving and harmonious relationship.

It is my sincere hope that the poster will achieve a swift and amicable resolution to their predicament, and that their relationship will continue to flourish.

Greetings, question asker. My name is Evan.

From the questioner's own description, it can be seen that the questioner feels very angry about his girlfriend's concealment. However, the questioner also described how he could understand his girlfriend's concealment, just out of worry. This raises the question of why the questioner still feels so angry.

It is important to ascertain whether the anger is directed at the girlfriend for keeping secrets from the boyfriend or for not trusting him. It is also essential to determine whether this anger is a manifestation of the girlfriend's emotions.

Are you concerned that your girlfriend may be unable to move on from her former partner and potentially act in a way that could be perceived as disloyal towards you?

When confronted with a first love or an ex-partner, many individuals may experience a desire to undo the past if they feel regret. Consequently, it is not uncommon for such individuals to retain memories that they find difficult to let go of. As the current partner, it is important for a man to recognise that his girlfriend's affections are directed towards him, rather than towards her former partner.

It is therefore recommended that, when dealing with one's girlfriend, one should endeavour to remain calm. Even if one is angry, it is important not to express this anger in an aggressive manner, nor to avoid the subject. Instead, one should calmly, sincerely, and clearly state one's feelings and discuss the issue at hand.

As the question was posed on an online forum, I can only offer the original poster (OP) some basic advice on how to regulate their anger and communicate with their girlfriend.

The following section will present an overview of the psychological and physiological factors that contribute to the experience of anger.

Anger is caused by a complex interplay of physical and mental factors. When we lose our temper, a chemical reaction occurs in the body that stimulates the nerves to respond with a fight-or-flight response (a physiological response when the body responds to a threat).

Individuals prone to elevated levels of anger may be inclined to engage in confrontational behavior as a result of the biochemical and hormonal processes occurring within the brain. In males, the urge to express their anger is often accompanied by a sense of unease when this impulse is not acted upon.

It is important to monitor one's emotional state.

When individuals experience anger, their bodies exhibit physical symptoms and they undergo a series of emotional changes. While anger is a primary emotion, it is not the only one that arises in such instances. Other emotions, such as sadness or pain, may also be present, and they often remain unexpressed. Anger serves as a means of releasing these underlying emotions.

Attending to these emotional shifts facilitates the recognition of one's temperament. In general, the following emotional changes occur:

Irritation is defined as a state of being annoyed or provoked to anger.

Anger may also manifest as sadness or depression.

Hatred.

Anxiety is a common emotional response to anger.

Defensiveness.

It is important to gain an understanding of the underlying factors that contribute to one's anger.

In instances of anger, it is beneficial to consider the underlying causes of the emotion. Additionally, it is helpful to reflect on the situations that precipitate anger and to identify the factors that contribute to its onset.

It is inevitable that certain stimuli will evoke a negative emotional response in individuals, irrespective of their conscious intentions. These triggers are often associated with past emotional experiences or memories, which may not be immediately apparent to the individual experiencing the anger. It is therefore essential to possess a high level of self-awareness in order to understand the underlying causes of one's own anger. The primary factors that contribute to anger in individuals can be broadly classified as follows:

Feelings of insecurity and threat may arise in the context of one's relationship with one's girlfriend.

A sense of being deceived and a lack of trust are also common triggers.

It is imperative to be intolerant of one's own mistakes.

Furthermore, it is recommended that the relationship with one's girlfriend be discussed in a calm and objective manner.

In the event that the relationship between the questioner and his girlfriend is experiencing difficulties, it is advisable to maintain an objective and calm tone of voice when discussing the relationship. Should it become evident that the two of you are encountering challenges as a couple, it is important to maintain an open mind and avoid becoming emotionally invested in the situation.

It is advisable to focus on the development of a stronger relationship rather than engaging in conflict.

If the questioner wishes to inform his girlfriend that her actions are causing him distress, he might say, "Do not assume that I am merely pointing out minor details. My intention is to convey that I care about you and our relationship, and that I am striving to maintain a harmonious and optimal relationship with you."

It is essential to address the emotional issues on both sides.

It may appear to be a more straightforward approach for the questioner to simply allow the situation to resolve itself and avoid addressing challenging subjects. However, avoiding these subjects will ultimately exacerbate the problem.

Instead, it would be prudent to take the time to discuss the problem. One might say, "I am aware that you are angry about what I did the other day."

"If we can find some time to engage in a constructive dialogue, I would be most grateful."

It is important to note that avoidance of these challenging topics will likely result in a gradual deterioration of the relationship and the emergence of significant obstacles to its repair. It is therefore recommended to initiate a calm and honest dialogue about the issues at hand.

"I must discuss this with you, and I hope you will be open-minded."

Furthermore, it is imperative to be as forthcoming as possible regarding one's sentiments.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether you are avoiding discussing your feelings. It would be helpful to consider the reasons for this and to communicate them to her.

Furthermore, it is important to convey to your partner that you have been experiencing feelings of anger due to this particular issue. You should then proceed to elucidate the rationale behind these emotions, suggesting that they may be a defense mechanism.

I have always been the kind of person who prefers to be direct and concise. I am not a vindictive individual. I hope that couples can be honest with each other. I hope you can overcome your psychological barriers and communicate with me.

Should your girlfriend decline to divulge her thoughts and feelings, it would be unwise to attempt to force her to do so.

In the event that your girlfriend does not disclose information to you, it is important to avoid taking this personally. The individual who poses the question should demonstrate compassion, avoid giving up on her, and refrain from making things more difficult for her.

In the event that your girlfriend is reluctant to open up to you, it is advisable to remain calm and to attempt to comprehend her perspective. One possible approach would be to say, "I do not wish to compel you to discuss your feelings or exert undue pressure on you."

It is my hope that our relationship is sufficiently intimate for you to be willing to share your emotions with me. I pledge that we can discuss any topic in an honest and composed manner.

"

It is essential to be transparent about one's objectives and intentions.

In discussing emotionally challenging topics, it is important to address the issue directly rather than avoiding it. Regardless of whether the objective is to enhance the relationship or to resolve a conflict, it is essential to be transparent about one's intentions.

For example, one might posit the following: "I would like to discuss the possibility of maintaining a long-term relationship. How might we respect each other's privacy and ensure sufficient space for each other?"

Do you believe it is permissible to enter into this state at this time? Alternatively, do you believe it is more appropriate to be as honest with each other as possible?

It would be beneficial to inquire as to whether there might be an opportunity to discuss the incident in which the subject was added to the WeChat account of the aforementioned ex-partner. The subject reports a sense of neglect.

"I do not wish to impede your communication with your former partner. However, I hope that we can establish sufficient trust and communicate with honesty when we are together."

It is imperative to refrain from losing control of one's emotions.

Should the questioner perceive an increase in their own anger or temper, it would be prudent to remove themselves from the current environment in order to avoid a loss of control of their emotions. Allowing oneself a period of solitude can facilitate an adjustment in emotional state and a reduction in anger, thus preventing the onset of hysteria.

If feasible, the questioner may attempt to regulate their respiration by inhaling deeply and relaxing their musculature, thus facilitating relaxation. In general, one may engage in additional breathing exercises to learn how to relax. The specific exercises are as follows:

One may begin by exercising the muscles of the face and head, tensing them for 20 seconds and then relaxing.

In a systematic manner, the muscles of the body should be contracted and then released, beginning with the shoulders, arms, back, hands, abdomen, legs, feet, and toes.

Inhale deeply and allow the sensation of relaxation to extend from the toes to the crown of the head.

Should the questioner comprehend the actions of their girlfriend, they may gain insight into her motives, thereby reducing the likelihood of self-inflicted anger. Once the underlying cause has been identified, it is advisable to communicate with one's partner in a transparent and sincere manner, which is more likely to foster a long-lasting relationship.

It is my sincere hope that this response proves beneficial.

Hello, host!

I can see why the landlord is feeling all these different emotions. This kind of situation is never pleasant and causes pain, no matter who it happens to.

What's the best way to handle these emotions without hurting ourselves?

1. Take a deep breath, and take a moment to understand your own emotions.

It's true that the more you love someone, the more jealous you'll be if you can understand the host's feelings of jealousy.

It's not easy for women to deal with jealousy, and men can be pretty intense when they get jealous.

But you shouldn't do anything irrational that hurts others because of jealousy.

Instead, take a deep breath, take a step back, and take a look at what's going on inside you.

Regardless of how serious the situation is, is it helpful to get angry, complain, or accuse the other person?

It won't help anything to get angry or accuse the other person.

If you want to solve a problem, you've got to treat it objectively and rationally.

We're all going to face all kinds of problems on our way through life.

It's not the problem itself that matters, but how we see it that affects the outcome.

2. Accept everyone and what's happened.

We can't change what's already happened.

If you dwell on it too much, it'll only make you feel worse.

Within reason, accept what has happened with an open mind.

To avoid sinking deeper and suffering more.

3. Use non-violent communication to solve problems.

The host can share how they're feeling.

Be clear and calm when you express your attitude.

If you lose your temper and lose control, it'll only push your girlfriend towards outsiders.

I hope the original poster can take a deep breath, accept the situation as it is, and work through it using non-violent communication.

I'm Warm June, and I just wanted to say that I love you all!

Good day, question asker. I am Enoch, your reference point for answers.

The questioner is upset that his girlfriend contacted her ex. He is open-minded and can understand her actions, but he is still angry and confused. He is unsure of the best course of action.

It is understandable that the questioner is upset. Any reasonable person would be angry in this situation. The girlfriend's actions indicate a betrayal of trust and a lack of consideration for her own feelings. She also used her WeChat to add the ex-boyfriend, which is a clear violation of trust. It can be seen that the girlfriend is also with the questioner because she feels that he is tolerant of her behavior.

As he progresses towards marriage, it is to be expected that he will have some past experiences of youthful emotions. However, these experiences are what allow him to continue maturing. When encountering a new relationship, he should understand better what kind of person he needs in a relationship. He should also learn to respect and be loyal to each other, take care of and love each other, let go of past immaturity, and move towards his own happiness.

However, the girlfriend has experienced more distress as a result of her relationship with her ex-partner. It is important to note that the breakup cannot be attributed to one party alone. Both individuals involved should take time to reflect on their own actions and behaviours. During her relationship with the questioner, the girlfriend may have been seeking a form of emotional compensation to avoid being hurt. If he feels that his current relationship is satisfactory, he will be able to move on from his previous relationship and will not be eager to contact his ex-partner.

It is my hope that the original poster will recognize the nature of the relationship and avoid allowing the presence of another individual to cause him emotional distress.

I extend a warm embrace from a distance to you.

The anger and grievance that one experiences when one's girlfriend adds one's ex to WeChat can be attributed to a sense of disrespected, misunderstood, and abandoned.

The act of allowing and accepting oneself can result in emotional experiences of grievance and anger. This is an instinctive reaction of the body and mind when one feels disrespected and misunderstood. The expression of grievance and anger serves as a reminder to the other person that their actions have caused significant distress and that such treatment is unacceptable.

Your girlfriend was undoubtedly aware of your anger at that moment, and she must have recognized the distress caused by her actions. Regardless of her motivations, she chose to add your ex to WeChat. However, she also experienced feelings of rejection, criticism, and a sense of being unwanted and misunderstood. This would likely have caused her significant distress, prompting her to engage in self-protective behaviors, including emotional attacks on you in an attempt to safeguard her emotional well-being.

It would be more beneficial for you to attempt to communicate with your girlfriend in a direct and honest manner, expressing your genuine feelings and desires for her to treat you in a specific manner. However, it is crucial to refrain from passing judgment on her actions. By doing so, you can demonstrate your unconditional acceptance, understanding, tolerance, and love for her. This will help her to overcome her inner fears, anxieties, guilt, and self-blame, as she perceives your complete acceptance and understanding. She will then be more likely to empathize with and respond to the underlying needs behind your emotions.

The manner in which an individual is treated by others influences their subsequent behavior towards others.

It is essential to first achieve a clear awareness of one's emotional feelings in order to be able to honestly face oneself and express one's true feelings and needs. This can be achieved through various techniques, including deep breathing, meditation, and particularly through the use of an emotional diary. This allows for a more accurate perception, experience, and expression of one's emotional feelings, as well as the exploration of the underlying needs and expectations that drive them. This, in turn, facilitates the identification of more appropriate ways to respond to these inner needs and expectations.

As an alternative, one might choose to directly convey one's genuine feelings and needs to one's partner. Another option would be to prioritize addressing one's own emotional needs through self-care. This could involve allowing and accepting one's emotions, recognizing that behind these feelings is a profound love and care for one's partner and relationship. This approach could foster greater understanding and acceptance of one's own emotions and those of one's partner, and encourage the expression of emotions rather than acting on them impulsively. What are your thoughts on this approach?

Additionally, it would be beneficial to ascertain whether, at the moment your girlfriend initiated contact with your ex via WeChat, you attributed her actions primarily to the fear that you would be abandoned, betrayed, and unloved due to your instinctive self-preservation mechanisms. Indeed, this perception may be indicative of an underlying lack of self-confidence, stemming from a perceived inadequacy in your relationship.

It would be beneficial to consider this matter further and to develop a greater awareness of it within the context of the relationship.

It is my sincere hope that you will enjoy a happy and harmonious intimate relationship. It is my further hope that my sharing will prove to be of some support and help to you.

The world and I extend our affection to you.

Hello!

I admire your awareness!

You understand your girlfriend and why you're angry.

You understand, but you don't feel comfortable.

I'd be happy to go through it with you. I hope it's helpful.

1. Look at your needs.

Many people have had this problem.

They love each other, but you'll feel uncomfortable if your girlfriend adds her ex to WeChat without being honest with you.

Every discomfort is a need that has not been met.

We may hope she has no contact with her ex or that she'll tell us the truth about her ex.

You feel uncomfortable, even though you have reasons for it.

This may mean we haven't really let go.

Then, communicate more effectively and clarify your expectations.

Find out why you're unhappy.

2. Know that you're in a committed relationship.

Stenberg says there are three kinds of love.

Passion, intimacy, and commitment.

Commitment is key to a loving relationship.

Confronting an ex is hard.

Your girlfriend may not be able to forget her ex.

Handling such a relationship requires wisdom.

Love is exclusive.

We understand our feelings.

Your girlfriend is free to contact anyone she wants.

We need our girlfriend to commit.

Promise her she won't do anything to hurt you if she has a WeChat with her ex.

You love each other.

Let go of controlling thoughts.

State your expectations.

I don't want her to contact her ex.

And respect her.

Control is not love.

Control is not love.

Love and control are different.

Love means believing in your partner and your relationship.

I get jealous sometimes, but I respect her and trust her.

We can also state our bottom line.

If you find out she's with her ex or cheating, you'll end it.

(This is just my bottom line.)

3. Communicate without violence and take responsibility.

Non-violent communication can help reduce conflicts.

If you tell your girlfriend you've added your ex-boyfriend, and she says it's not your ex, it makes you feel uncomfortable. Why do you want to add your ex?

Try to stay in touch with your ex as little as possible.

If you express your feelings and needs and make requests, your girlfriend will take you seriously.

It's not easy.

Take care of your emotions.

Communication is especially important in an intimate relationship.

You can understand her and yourself. You say, "Don't blame her, I feel bad."

The ABC theory of emotions says that

Our emotions are not triggered by events, but by how we perceive them.

How we see your girlfriend and your ex-girlfriend is the main problem.

The problem is your own unhappiness and distress.

Take responsibility for your emotions.

We decide our own emotions.

Hug yourself and tell yourself you need to handle the relationship more wisely.

Do we believe in her and your love?

Take your time.

Best wishes!

Hello, question asker!

I can totally relate to your question! I get it. Love is exclusive, and we all want our partner to be totally devoted to us and not tolerate the existence of another person, especially not someone who used to be our partner!

From what you've told me, it's clear that you and your girlfriend have a great relationship. You're very tolerant and understanding towards her, which is wonderful! But don't forget about your own feelings and needs. As you said in your question, "Is it not good to be honest and frank? Even if you do something that makes me feel bad, I won't blame you, but I can't stand being lied to. I just feel angry and uncomfortable..." Have you had an honest conversation with your girlfriend about this? It's important to express your feelings and needs, not to accuse her!

Communication is so important in a relationship! It's so easy for communication between two people to become an exchange of accusations and anger.

How should we view this matter? First of all, when communicating with our partner, it's really important to remember that we're addressing the matter, not the person.

In other words, we need to separate the person from the matter, and the purpose of communication is:

What happened that caused the conflict between you two? How can you make sure it doesn't happen again?

We're not here to get into all the nitty-gritty details of how and what.

With this in mind, we can have a constructive chat about how to avoid similar situations in the future. It's also a great idea to discuss the kind of behaviour that works for you both.

It's always a good idea to avoid discussing personal topics with the opposite sex other than your loved one. This includes personal, emotional, and private conversations, and so on.

It's always a good idea to stick together when you're out with someone you're interested in.

It's always a good idea to meet in public places and avoid private places where things might happen.

It's always a good idea to avoid drinking alone with the opposite sex.

It's so important to be able to recognize any unusual feelings and know how to get away or isolate yourself from a situation that's becoming difficult to manage.

And, of course, getting along with someone also requires respect for the other person, including their feelings!

I really hope my reply helps the original poster! Warm regards!