Can someone tell me, the pressure from my sister-in-law is making the self-conscious me feel overwhelmed, what should I do?

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

From what you've said, it seems like you're feeling pressure because you compare yourself to your sister-in-law. If you're in the same family, the person who's happy and content won't compare herself to others because she'll look at everything with a positive and optimistic attitude.

Given the situation in her own family, she didn't receive much love, so she feels inferior. Even in her husband's family, they're all very nice to her, but she can't help feeling that she's inferior, at least in her relationship with her sister-in-law.

Speaking eloquently shows that she is independent. We often see the surface of others' lives but not the hardships behind it. The questioner's sister-in-law may seem outstanding, but when she is alone, she also has her own vulnerabilities and emotions. She just doesn't show them to you. She is just an ordinary person, so you are equal. Everyone has their own life, so there is no need to constantly compare yourself to her and beat yourself up.

Can anyone suggest how I can handle the pressure from my sister-in-law that makes me feel inferior?

You can learn a lot from someone who's really good at what they do.

The questioner also said that he feels inferior because he thinks he and his sister-in-law are two completely different people. She's eloquent and knows how to handle things when they come up. He's more introverted and not very articulate. He's afraid that other people will compare them, and it's easy to be compared.

The thing is, the first person to compare themselves to their sister-in-law is actually the questioner herself. You compare your own shortcomings with the other person's strengths, and obviously you lose. You are you, she is she. Even though you're in the same family, you have your own little family. It's important to live your own little family life.

From what you've said, it seems like the questioner is more envious than jealous of her sister-in-law. This goes to show that if you study hard, you can become excellent. Your environment shapes you. The questioner has admitted that her sister-in-law is excellent, so it's fine to get close to her and learn from her. Get close to more excellent people and you'll become excellent too.

Be sure to recognize your own strengths and give yourself a pat on the back every now and then.

Everyone has their own strengths. I believe that the OP's husband likes the OP, and that you have your own attractive qualities that attract him. So don't feel inferior and think that you can't do anything. Everyone has weaknesses, and no one is perfect.

The original poster can take a piece of paper and a pen and write down their strengths. For example, they can list what they have accomplished independently today or what new knowledge they have learned. These are all proof that they are slowly becoming better. Then, they can read the written strengths again. They'll see that they are also very good. They should compliment themselves, because they can be even better tomorrow. Keep up the good work!

Once you've identified your strengths and areas of excellence, you'll start to like the person you've become and become more confident. When you're confident, you're more likely to think carefully about how you arrange your life. With a positive attitude, you're more likely to look at things in a positive way.

We have the right to choose the life we want.

The original poster said that because of problems in their family of origin, they didn't receive love and therefore have low self-esteem. We can't choose our parents, so when we were young, we couldn't live the life we wanted. Now that we're adults and have our own small families, we can even more rely on our own strength to live the life we want.

We can acknowledge the limitations and influences that our original family has brought us, but we can also recognize that these have cut us off and no longer have an impact on us. We already have the right to let our lives become whatever we want them to be. We can overcome the past and shape a new self. This path may be long, and the timeline may be unclear, but we can choose to be willing to change, and then we can make anything possible.

I hope my answer is helpful to the original poster. Best regards.

Hello!

If you start off defining yourself in terms of "inferiority" and "a bad family background," and then stand next to someone with a good family background, you'll limit yourself and be unable to move out of the circle of inferiority.

I get where the questioner is coming from with the comment about not receiving love.

How did you and your husband experience the courtship stage? Did you feel loved during this process?

Does marriage mean that we're entering a new stage of embracing love?

The amygdala is the part of the brain that makes us feel ready for battle. Past experiences in the original family have brought all kinds of "tribulations" and "traumas" after "sinking."

It'll take time, but you can do it. Be patient with yourself.

Your ability to speak and act is completely controlled by your brain. It's a way of thinking.

If she allows herself to relax, she can gradually break free from the shackles of inferiority.

If the other person is able to speak and act, then give them the chance to work through their own issues.

Take a step back and assess your situation. If you're ready to do so, go for it. If not, don't push yourself.

Treat yourself with respect.

You can always talk to your husband, share some feelings, show your vulnerable side, accept your partner's fatigue from the pressures of life, and then embrace the beautiful life you have built together.

If your future mother-in-law-daughter-in-law puts pressure on you, take care of yourself first. You don't have to obey or submit. Express your feelings and show respect with love, and at the same time, think for yourself.

We are all born free as human beings.

It's not your sister-in-law's excellence that makes you feel inferior, but the wealth of your in-laws.

The questioner's description is brief and to the point. I'll assume the questioner isn't one to beat around the bush, so I'll get straight to the point in my answer. Please forgive me if I'm rude.

The questioner didn't praise the sister-in-law for her looks, knowledge, or character. Instead, she praised her for being a good daughter-in-law and a good person. We're not going to argue whether these praises are insinuations of hypocrisy and flattery towards that woman. What we do know is that the questioner thinks the in-laws are worthy of flattery.

The questioner has two conflicting views at once:

1. Ability is the most important thing to consider when evaluating people.

2. Morals are the most important thing to consider when evaluating people.

The debate about "virtue" and "talent" has been going on for a long time, and it seems like everyone's already made their point. I think it's fine whether you think people are mainly judged by their abilities or their virtues, but you can't advocate judging people by their abilities when your abilities are dominant, and then judge people by their virtues when your abilities are not dominant.

The biggest thing your family of origin might have left you with is an overly realistic outlook. You might know deep down that abilities and virtues are just empty words.

At the end of the day, people and things are judged by their results. It doesn't matter how capable or virtuous you are, if you're poor, you're nothing in the face of success and wealth.

When you're in a wealthy environment by yourself, you can only hold your own with your beliefs.

Unfortunately, you're ambitious and cash-strapped, pragmatic but not visionary. Without faith, you'll have no anchor in your heart.

Having faith is really what makes you happy.

Sometimes it's easier to take a little risk and keep the faith.