Childhood trauma, constantly denied by family members, yet I can't let it go.

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first!

You can feel the inner grievances after not being treated well in your own family of origin, but you can also feel the inner strength that comes from healing and growing!

We can't choose our family of origin and parents, but we can choose to accept them! Our family of origin may have brought us some challenges during our growth, but we can turn those challenges into opportunities for growth. Our parents may have shaped our first half of lives, but we have the power to shape our second half of lives. The possibilities are endless!

It's totally normal for kids to feel insecure when their parents fight. They might even start to think that their own goodness is the reason for the discord in their parents' relationship. But here's the good news: kids can learn to be confident, self-assured, and self-accepting.

But as a child, you must have understood that the emotional discord between your parents was definitely not because you did something wrong or because you weren't good enough. It was simply because they hadn't learned how to manage their marriage better. In other words, during their own upbringing, their parents probably communicated and interacted with more arguments. But before they learned how to handle intimate relationships better, they instinctively copied the way their parents managed their marriage and relationships in their original family.

For today's you, you have clearly seen that what your parents did wasn't right. You can do better! You can improve your ability to manage relationships by actively learning and growing yourself, while making up for what you lacked in your original family and loving yourself back as the ideal good parent.

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!

I'm not sure how old the host is, but I'm a freshman now, and I'm still learning how to navigate this journey. I'm not sure if what I'm doing is completely right, but I hope it can give you some kind of reference.

I also grew up in a pretty unusual family and never really felt like I fit in, but I found something at school that my family didn't give me.

I remember when I was in primary school, I was always being sent back and forth between school and home. I was so desperate at the time! Then I went to junior high school and boarded, and the darkness of the past suddenly couldn't catch up with me.

I didn't have any friends at the time, but I still felt that the rural school had given me a decent place to live. I gradually became more open, except when I returned home.

However, when I later entered high school, I found that the relationships there were really quite challenging. I was going through a rough time and was feeling depressed, and on top of that, I was being targeted by my homeroom teacher. Despite all of this, though, I never gave up on trying to improve myself.

I also remember those past memories that hurt me, made me afraid, and made me desperate. They were the ones who gave them to me. But I can't change anymore, sweetheart.

It's tough to do it alone, so go find the light, the people you want to know, and don't be afraid. I'm not the best at communicating either. Sometimes it takes me a while to put a sentence together, or I just can't find the words.

But they didn't mind at all! They didn't really help me much, but I feel so good to have them around!

You can't decide your own year, but you can fight for a future. A friend once told me this, and it really stuck with me.

I think it's so important to look to the future. I've basically broken away from my old family, and those memories no longer come to mind very often. Even though there are still some unhappy things in my life now, it doesn't matter. I just look ahead and move on.

Heaven is not far away, sweetheart. It's the place you want to go to.

Have you thought about where you'd like to go?