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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello, I'm a psychological counselor and family education instructor. I'm here to help. I'll ask you a few questions and give you some advice. I hope it will be useful to you. You seem timid and fearful. Are you a man? My husband is also like this. It can be tiring to live with someone like this. You seem to be afraid of everything, except me. Is that right?
Fear is something we all feel, but not everyone lets it hold them back. Many people have already overcome it. If you ask me if anyone is not afraid of anything, I would definitely say yes. Newborn calves are not afraid of tigers. Haha, that's the way it is. Children rarely feel afraid. I remember that I was thirty years old before I knew how to write the word "fear."
There are two kinds of fear: fear of the unknown and fear of the known. What you're afraid of is not normal. Fear of the unknown is the fear of not knowing anything, like the fear you have before an interview. Fear of the known is actually a sense of powerlessness, like when you're taking an exam and you look at the question and remember it very clearly, but you get distracted and don't hear the answer.
Third, you'll notice that kids aren't afraid of anything at first. They have a vivid imagination. Parents often scare them, and they imagine scary things that aren't real to scare themselves. Over time, they start to be afraid. Kids are fearless because they don't know any better.
Fourth, you were threatened and became timid when you went to middle school. It's normal to be timid when you're faced with these kinds of situations, and it won't affect your normal life whether you change or not.
The fifth has already caused you trouble, so you need to make a change. If you want to change yourself, go to the zoo, the wild animal park, or the mountain of lions and tigers, listen to the roars of the beasts, and practice your courage.
Sixth, you can find a counselor who is good at this and give you desensitization training to slowly get rid of your fear. You can also find a hypnotist to treat you with hypnosis, but this method will cause the fear to come back. Desensitization training is still more reliable.
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Comments
I can relate to feeling scared and pressured by others, especially when they seem more powerful. It's tough to stand up for yourself in those moments. I admire you for trying to understand where your timidity comes from and for wanting to grow from it.
It's really hard when someone threatens you or your family. I remember similar feelings of fear and helplessness. It's good that you're looking at how your family dynamics have shaped you. Recognizing these patterns is the first step to changing them.
Your situation sounds complex, with influences from both school and home. It's brave of you to acknowledge your fears and work on them. Sometimes, just admitting we need to change is the hardest part. Keep going, it's a big deal.
Family relationships can be so tricky. It seems like you're carrying a lot, not just your own experiences but also the weight of your parents' past. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. You're already doing something important by reflecting on all this.
Dealing with bullies is never easy, especially when they threaten your family. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's commendable that you're examining your timidity and its roots. Facing these issues takes a lot of courage, and you're on the right path.