Dislike yourself, actually quite introverted, in a state of self-loathing?

Hello.

You describe yourself as timid, cautious, reserved, and always overthinking things. You only act when you have to. Your parents chose your profession for you, and you're not happy with it. You didn't object; you just quietly suffered. You want to talk to your friends about your sadness, helplessness, and expectations, but you can't reveal your true thoughts. It's becoming more and more difficult to speak up. So you can only cry to release the pent-up emotions in your heart.

I suspect that most of the decisions in your life have been made by your parents. Do you remember when you really wanted to do something you liked, but your parents said no, listing all the disadvantages? Or when you wanted to eat something, and you told your parents you wanted it, but they still said a lot of reasons why it was bad? Then you didn't want to tell them anything, and communication became less and less. You became more and more closed off, and you were afraid to make any decisions!

My dear, I have to tell you firmly: you have grown up! You are no longer the child who must listen to their parents in order to grow up properly! You can now fully take responsibility for your own actions!

You've always known what you want. Take that first step. Just a little step! You'll find you're already on the way. If you're still feeling hesitant, imagine what you'll be like if you choose the path your parents chose. Imagine what kind of person you'll be if you choose your own path.

You can do it!

The world and we love you!

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I can tell that the questioner was feeling a bit down at the time, but I can also sense that they had some expectations inside. So I would love to know how the questioner is feeling now! What are the questioner's expectations?

Let me help you untangle the knots in the questioner's mind!

The questioner believes that she is somewhat closed-off. But there's nothing wrong with that! She communicates with friends, and she's aware that people are different from one another. She's also aware that her communication with her parents is different. This makes the questioner believe that she is unable to frankly express her true thoughts. But that's okay!

Regarding the university major, your relatives and parents thought it would be a great choice for you because it's a stable major. You have some different opinions, but you also have some great ideas about this issue!

Because of professional matters, you not only think about the fact that you like novels and the second dimension, but also have the idea of becoming an editor at the company you admire! However, this was later stopped due to company problems. You also tried to communicate with your mother once, which was a great idea!

After starting the internship, the questioner felt unhappy and sometimes cried, but they didn't tell anyone. They also felt a little nervous about communicating with their leaders because of graduation, but they're excited to work with them!

The questioner thinks that they are a bit timid, and that they will do things based on other people's attitudes. They have also thought about confessing to their parents, and they're excited to take action! They know that they're capable of more, and they're ready to embrace their inner strength.

Is that so?

Once we've sorted out the questioner's problems, it's clear they have a great way of thinking and can accurately analyze their own shortcomings. We always see the best in others and the worst in ourselves, but we can accurately find the strengths of others and our own weaknesses. And now we know where to start looking for our own strengths!

First of all, I want to tell the questioner that this situation exists in most parts of life. The famous psychologist Adler once said something really interesting: everyone has their own inferiority complex.

From the questioner's description, it's clear they have their own opinions and ideas, and they're great at spotting problems and finding ways to solve them. This is fantastic because if we don't give up, we'll grow and learn while searching for solutions to problems.

Next, I'd love to ask the questioner to think about what they want and why. And what kind of mentality makes you seek help here?

Now, let's dive into the relationship between the questioner and their parents!

Our personalities are shaped by the environments and educations we experience as children. The way our parents interact with us during this formative period largely determines our personalities. Some people are born with certain personalities, but we all have the potential to develop and grow!

This is the deepest reason for the problem, and it's also the most exciting part!

Our amazing brains are incredible! They develop defense mechanisms when we have bad experiences. This helps us to keep some bad things in the deepest part of our mind – the subconscious. So, the questioner can observe how they get along with their parents, and whether there are any moments when they are in a good mood and relaxed. What did they do at that time?

These are all fantastic resources that can help you!

Then, I ask the questioner to imagine that their expectations have been fulfilled! Imagine how it would feel to feel a little different after realizing their beautiful expectations. Just think of how life will be different! Who will notice the difference in you?

Without knowing the specific situation of the questioner, I'm excited to give the questioner some suggestions to relieve their bad mood! I'm confident that these suggestions will help the questioner relieve their bad mood.

Let's adjust our mindset and cultivate inner strength!

Our attitude is related to our mood and thoughts about the world and its affairs. Our attitude is crucial when facing difficulties. This requires slow cultivation, and the following suggestions are also for adjusting your attitude. You can start by uniting knowledge with action! When you want to do something, just do it without delay or hesitation. This will slowly cultivate and bring about some changes in your heart.

Let's dive into the world of positive mental suggestion!

Guess what! Most of the time, problems are created in our own minds. We are scared off by ourselves. But guess what else? Things are not that scary. It is our own lack of confidence that causes us to shrink back and be timid. What do you think, question asker?

Absolutely! We can use positive self-suggestion to help build our confidence and give us the courage to face difficulties.

Self-psychological suggestion is all about strengthening your positive psychology and avoiding negative reinforcement. When you encounter difficulties, don't give up!

Repeat these words to yourself: "I can do it!", "I'm great!", "I can do better!" and so on. This is a very important form of positive self-suggestion that will help you to continuously improve your self-confidence!

And guess what? This has been confirmed by psychological research!

Let's make sure we're good at discovering the beauty and fun in life!

Some people have a plain and uneventful life, some have a glamorous life, some have a miserable life, and some have a life full of passion... It's not that there is something wrong with life itself, but whether we can see the beauty and find the interesting points in our eyes. Vision determines the height of life, and perspective determines the direction of life. If you change the direction to look at the people and scenery around you, and go to a different place to change your mood, you will discover that life is actually really multifaceted—and it's absolutely amazing!

And there's so much more to discover!

The more you learn, the more your brain will grow! The more you learn, the wider your perspective will become. You will be able to respond with a cool head to anything that comes your way and you will easily be able to figure out the ins and outs of things. This is a great way to cultivate a calm and composed state of mind! It will help you deal with things calmly when they happen.

And finally, learn to release negative emotions!

We are often asked to be emotionally stable adults, and it's a great challenge! We dare not express our negative emotions, and we have slowly learned to suppress and hide ourselves.

Once you learn to release that emotional energy, it will flow freely through your body, nourishing your organs and keeping you healthy! Traditional Chinese medicine says that many physical discomforts are caused by psychological factors.

Fear harms the kidneys, sadness harms the lungs, thinking harms the spleen, joy harms the heart, and anger harms the liver. But here's the good news! We can all learn to release negative emotions in a healthy way.

Every emotion deserves your attention! And it's especially important to learn how to release emotional energy in a healthy way.

There are so many ways to let it all out! Try exercise, shouting, talking to someone, traveling, etc.

The questioner can also seek help from a professional counselor and read more books on psychology.

I want to tell the questioner something really important: you are the expert in solving your own problems! Your ability to notice changes in your state of mind is the beginning of change. If you are willing, you can try to talk to your parents about your inner thoughts based on how you usually get along with them. Be brave! You are much better than you think. Coming here to talk has already been a big step towards a better future!

I highly recommend that the questioner read "Low Self-Esteem and Transcendence" and "The Brain's Happiness Code"!

The question is posed to the individual in question, inquiring as to their preference regarding the use of written language.

It becomes evident that one is not isolated in this experience, and that there are numerous individuals who have confronted and continue to confront similar challenges. The issue one is grappling with is not an isolated one, but rather a pervasive one.

I would like to offer you a hug. Are you crying?

Intimacy is a form of attachment that necessitates the exchange of thoughts and feelings, and love must be observed.

For example, during their formative years, parents typically prioritize their children's dietary habits and academic performance. As children mature, however, parents tend to shift their focus to their children's professional endeavors and interpersonal relationships.

However, they have never demonstrated any concern for the expectations and fears experienced by the child during their development, nor have they exhibited any awareness of the internal difficulties and feelings of helplessness.

Such sentiments may manifest as self-loathing, typically rooted in perceived excessive expectations from parents during childhood or an inability to meet parental expectations regardless of one's efforts. This perception can elicit a sense of inadequacy.

It can be reasonably assumed that children who have not received a substantial degree of emotional support and understanding from their parents will inevitably experience a sense of emotional barrier.

The relationship model established with one's parents serves as the prototype for all subsequent relationships. The capacity to engage in physical intimacy, such as hugs, and psychological intimacy, characterized by the sharing of thoughts and feelings, is significantly hindered. Psychological research indicates that it is exceedingly challenging for an individual to deviate from the behavioral patterns established during childhood. This is due to the difficulty in being fully open and honest with one's parents about one's true thoughts and feelings. Consequently, forming deep and meaningful relationships with others becomes a significant challenge.

Those who experience self-loathing tend to be quick to identify flaws in others and are unable to tolerate the presence of such imperfections in their surroundings.

Some individuals perceive themselves as exceptional, isolated, and lacking in comprehension from others. They may also believe that they are exempt from the vicissitudes of life, including its joys and sorrows.

Despite their individuality, humans are more similar than they are different. This is because they share a psychological system and all joys and sorrows are interconnected. This is evidenced by the ability of individuals to empathise with one another and to express that empathy in the form of statements such as "I feel the same way" or "I understand deeply".

The majority of our lives are spent engaged in activities that are unproductive, engaging in meaningless discourse, and forming relationships through shared consumption and recreation. When an individual can understand themselves, recognize human nature through awareness (which can be cultivated through writing), and confront the darker aspects of their own hearts, such as inferiority, jealousy, revenge, helplessness, desire, or sadness, they can begin to accept and acknowledge their true selves. This process of self-awareness and acceptance can gradually transform the way we interact with others.

It is important to note that effecting a significant transformation in an individual is a complex process that necessitates a combination of optimism and patience. Perhaps most crucially, it requires the complete abandonment of any sense of superiority or arrogance.

In the context of work-related issues, it may be beneficial to pursue a personal objective or to meet a demand within one's capabilities. However, given the current circumstances, it is not feasible to achieve this goal. Instead, the position can be utilized as a springboard for future growth. During this period, it is possible to develop interpersonal skills and enhance one's professional competencies. Once you have established a foundation or demonstrated strengths in your abilities, it is advisable to make necessary adjustments. It is crucial to avoid dwelling on negative aspects and instead focus on leveraging the opportunity to improve oneself.

If one is inclined to read novels and engage with the second dimension, it may be an indication that one is living in one's own world. If one desires to transform one's hobby into a career, one may consider undertaking some studies in one's spare time or even starting a side business. It is even more advantageous to be a diagonal pole youth.

It is recommended that individuals spend time with people who are confident, optimistic, bold, and have a sense of perspective. By associating with such individuals, one can re-label oneself. Additionally, it is important to recognize that one is also a powerful person. Through self-suggestion, one can generate strength. However, it is crucial to understand that labels are self-fulfilling prophecies.

One should never assume that one's character and abilities are fixed. Rather, they can evolve continuously.

In the absence of such a person, one may seek out role models or alter one's posture. For further insight, one might consult the book "High Energy Posture." The internal and external realms are inextricably linked, with the latter influencing the former in subtle ways.

The lungs are responsible for regulating the emotions associated with the five internal organs. They facilitate the release of breath and the expulsion of turbid qi. The experience of running can be perceived as a form of physical suffering.

Running has been demonstrated to confer a number of benefits.

One can engage in cardiovascular exercise to strengthen the heart and lungs. Two can engage in resistance training to enhance muscle strength, and when a person is strong, their courage will also increase.

The rationale behind the recent surge in children enrolling in martial arts and judo classes is twofold. Firstly, these activities instill courage, enabling children to confront their fears with greater confidence. Secondly, the practice of running demands long-term perseverance, which can positively influence children's resilience and determination.

One can alter both their physical and mental states, which can be perceived by others.

Walking, running, skipping rope, and playing ball are all effective methods for immediately alleviating unpleasant emotions.

Once negative emotions have been released and self-awareness has been achieved, a change in thinking can occur. This change in thinking should focus on one's own strengths rather than weaknesses. It is important to accept one's inner self and share inner feelings and thoughts. It is crucial to have the courage to accept the people and things that make one unhappy. When one is willing to admit that one has emotions such as helplessness, inferiority, jealousy, anger, or fear, confidence will inevitably increase.

It is crucial to engage in the practice of affirmations. Affirmations can be likened to the act of exercising one's beliefs, in that they entail the repetition of desired thoughts.

For example, Rockefeller would frequently reiterate the assertion that "I am more capable and accomplished than I believe myself to be."

One may choose to repeat these beliefs with conscious intent: "I am an interesting person," "I am important," "I am brave," and so forth. It is recommended that one affixes these labels in a location that is easily accessible.

Once these beliefs have become firmly established, they will then regulate the processes of thinking, emotion, imagination, language, and action.

I anticipate a future in which the expression of our thoughts and feelings, whether it be opinions, discontent, dependence, desires, or sexual desire, will become more effortless, more authentic, more refined, and more potent.

A heartfelt congratulation is extended to you.

Despite the imperfections inherent to the human condition, it is indubitable that both you and I are still loved.

It's only natural that without recognition, people in society will doubt themselves if they can't get recognition from others. This can gradually lead to a lack of self-confidence and social withdrawal, which is something we all want to avoid!

You know, what you really need is the courage to throw in the towel. It's just like asking for time off. The worst that can happen is that you lose your job, which is not a fatal threat. Besides, work is a cooperative relationship: I work, you pay, there's no need to do things to please other people.

I've been working part-time at a barbecue restaurant for the past few days. I take orders, prepare the dishes, and arrange the serving. It's been really busy! Some customers like it spicy, which is great.

I want to arrange the dishes as soon as the order comes out, and I also want to arrange the dishes as soon as they are ready to be served. I also have to take into account the customers' preferences for spiciness, which can be tricky! As a result, some dishes on the order are not fully prepared, while others are prepared with too much chili.

It's so easy to want to do a good job and take care of everyone's feelings, but it's also important to remember to trust your own abilities.

Three days later, the manager told me not to go to work the next day because it was a mess. At that time, I was totally fine with that. I asked the barbecue chef to not put any chili in anything for me, and if the guests really wanted chili, they could just take it back and sprinkle some on themselves. I also gave him a list of dishes I wanted. When the dishes came out, I ignored them and finished the list first, then I would worry about serving the dishes. No one should rush me, because it would be useless.

If something is out of stock, just use the intercom to let the bar staff know (if there's no food, you can't order). Of course, there are lots of other tips, but I won't go into detail here.

I was really happy with the result! The barbecue chef was full of praise for me, and the manager even gave me extra food at night. It just goes to show that you can't win their favor by being selfish. But everyone appreciates excellence!

For now, you might as well be selfish. The first thing you should consider is your own interests. Other people's business is none of my business. I promise you, though, that things will slowly start to look up for you when you make yourself comfortable.

It's okay not to care about other people's gossip. If you're unhappy, just tell them! Don't hold it in, let it out on the spot, but be careful of the situation and manner. Your own safety is the main priority. You have to make sure that they don't dare to do anything to you.

Guys really like confident girls!